Title: Seeker

Author: Padfoot the Marauder.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't even own a car, so what makes you think I own Harry or Draco? Idiot!

Summary: Sirius' death leaves Harry emotionally numb. He desperately wants to feel again and feels that Draco is the one who can make him do that. One-shot, two chapters, two POV. Harry/Draco, Male/male, Lemon, Anal

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A/N: I'm in a sullen mood (family problems, finals on their way, papers to write,...) and I thought I should take advantage of it. This isn't one of my usual fluffy stories. I'm not used to writing darker stuff like this, so let me know what you think 'kay.

It's a one-shot, two chapters. The first one is Draco's POV, the second's Harry's. Oh and... WARNING! This contains Male/Male sex! I don't think it's NC-17, more of an R; but I'm not completely sure about it, so you are warned!

I hope I don't get kicked off for this.

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Chapter one: Draco.

I'm lying awake in my bed listening to the thunder breaking the silence of the night. I hear the raindrops bouncing off the surface of the ground as I watch the lightning illuminate the sky. This instantly reminds me of you.

Lightning. 

Hard not to.

I wish you were here; whispering sweet nothings in my ear until I fall asleep cuddled up in your arms. I sigh, close my eyes and I can almost feel your touch.

No, not almost.

I can feel you. The weight of the mattress on my bed suddenly shifts away from me, an arm snakes around my waist and hugs me close while hot breath makes contact with my neck. I gasp in surprise and my heart takes an involuntarily jump of delight. You're here! You're back! You came! I roll myself around to face you. I can't help but smile at the sight of your face so close to mine. There you are! Your sad looking eyes stare into mine longingly; pleading for an unvoiced request. I smile at you, lean in and sweetly brush my lips against yours. You don't need to plead, love. I'll always say 'yes'.

I slightly part my lips to brush my tongue against your bottom lip. Your lips part to grant me access and I catch your tongue with mine. You respond with a childlike eager and deepen the kiss; our tongues sliding passionately against each other. I could kiss you all day long; nibbling on your lips, revelling in your taste, drowning in your pleasured gasps. Our lips part so I can pull off your shirt. Green. Like you eyes. You're gorgeous, you know that? Someone should tell you every day.

While pulling your shirt over your head I've messed up your hair even more. I reach out and caress the jet-black strands out of your eyes. Some might say you're too skinny, but to me you're perfect. You're angelic pale skin makes you look so innocent and unspoiled. I quickly rid myself of my own shirt, tossing it away like the useless rag it is. I lean in and kiss you again. I can't help but groan at the skin-to-skin contact. I love the way your naked torso feels against my own. How well our bodies fit together; it's almost like we're crafted for each other. You pull me down on the bed so I'm laying on top of you. You are so beautiful. You're everything I've wanted since I was eleven. You're a dream come true.

Gods, Harry. Caress me. Touch me. Love me...

Like I love you.

But you can't, can you?

I'm not even a faceless person to you, am I? If I were, it would have made much more sense.

You're in my mind. All day. Every day. It's maddening. I used to fantasize about you. Touching you. Making love to you. Just the sheer thought of our bodies linked together used to make me cum without even having to touch myself.

Still, it was less maddening then now; when I do have you... but yet not. You reside in darkness. You don't hide from it; you seek it.  Hide in it. Hide away from the pain the light of morning brings.

That's why you're with me.

I represent the darkness in your life. I'm the image your mind has created for everything that has gone wrong in the past. I'm a dark hole that needs to be filled with love; or something that closely resembles it anyway. Because this is why we're both here isn't it? Filling a hole in our hearts.

Your hole has been there since the end of last term in the Ministry of Magic, mine since a little over six years ago when you turned down my friendship on the Hogwarts Express.

I used to fill it by being mean to you. Hating you...

While in fact; I hated myself for you hating me.

Funny, how Sirius Black's death finally brought you to me, yet drove you away from me forever. You're broken. I want to fix you, but I don't know how.

         '...Please...', I hear you whimper.

I smile as I caress you cheek and tenderly kiss your lips. No need do beg me, love.

Lubrication-charm. One finger. Two fingers. Three fingers. Ready.

I slowly enter you. I'm trying to be as gentle as I can possibly be.  I don't want to hurt you. You have hurt enough already. You don't even wince. You never wince. Not even the first time.

You gave me your virginity and I gave you mine. And, if given the chance, I would give it to you again.

Your hips buckle against mine as I must have brushed against your prostate. I pull back and hit the same spot again. And again. And Again. You're writhing under me. I love to kiss you, fondle and play with your body. Discover it's sensitive areas and fool around with them. I love to make you squirm for my touch. I want to drive you crazy with want. I know where you live; I know where you breathe. No one knows your body as well as I do, Harry.

Your breathing has turned ragged and so has mine. Your pull me down against you and make my lips crash down on yours; our tongues battling heatedly in the imprisonment of our mouths. Our heated flesh dancing in an ancient rhythm guided by a force of nature. I smother you with heated kisses. I want to taste you; devour you. Make you mine. This is my very personal heaven. Our bodies linked together for eternity and beyond. Please Harry, make me forget you don't love me! Make me forget that each time you leave my room you might not come back!

Not yet. I don't want this to end. Not yet. I want to do this together. I wrap my hand around you arousal and quicken the thrusts of my hips at the same pace as my hand's. Our mouths collide in a sloppy kiss; our minds too heated to do it properly. I feel by the shuddering of your body that you're getting close. As you suck on my tongue I can feel my abdominal muscles contracting. Sweet orgasm approaches. Your moans gets lost in my mouth as mine into yours. Waves of energy jolt through me as my seed spills out into you; releasing me of a nameless burden.

Panting, I look at you and see your emerald-green eyes burn into mine. My breath hitches at the sight.

How can you do this?

How can you look me in the eye at the peek of our passion and not feel anything? How can you feign such deep emotion? Do you know what this does to me? How this is killing me from the inside? Having you; yet not. You probably do know this. And that's why you keep doing it.

I gently slip out of you and release you from the strain of my crushing weight. I protectively wrap my arms around you and hug you close. Don't go, Harry. Please, don't go. I want to hold you all night. Wake up into each others arms and face the terrible dawn together. I can feel you trying to get out of my grip, but I wont let you. If I just hold you tight enough; would it prevent you from leaving? No, don't look at me! Not those pleading eyes again. Your hands gently pry open my gripping fingers to release yourself from my grip.

I watch you as you get dressed. You do it so mechanically it's worrying. Like you've just gotten up in the morning and are putting on your clothes to go to breakfast. Like nothing has just transpired.

You look at me one last time before you leave. Your look just screams apology. Yes, Harry, I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I can't seem to give you what you so desperately want. I look into your eyes and I fight myself not to weep. You turn around to leave. You momentarily stop in your tracks as if you want to say something, but you seem to think the better of it. And before I know it, you're out the door.

I sigh, cover my naked cooled down body with my sheets and burry my face in my pillow.

'Damn that Gryffindor-honesty!' I think as I punch my pillow with my fist.

'Why can't you just lie?'

*Punch*

'Just pretend!'

*Punch*

'Pretend that you love me!'

I punch again and a handful of feathers flee the pillowcase. Silent tears escape my eyes and seep into the pillow. My body shakes from pent up emotion as tiny white feathers dance around me.

I wrap my arms around my pillow, whishing it was you. I look out the window to see that the rain has stopped pouring.  The thunder had stopped and no more lightning was to be seen. I sigh and patiently wait for the approach of the dreaded dawn; where everything is in light. Light shows everything. Makes people hide from it; hide themselves. Darkness at least is honest. I like darkness. It's when you come.

Eternal darkness.

Sounds nice doesn't it?

Eternal you.

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End of part one.

A/N: Writing this both in the first-person and in the present-tense wasn't a pick nick, but I thought: 'okay, I can do this'... and then I came to the orgasm part. How in the bleeding Hell am I supposed to know what a male orgasm feels like? *sigh* I hope it's about right the way I described it. *snorts in frustration*