Chapter 4 When I arrived home, I noticed a familiar bike on the porch. I knew it didn't belong to me, or to my brother Max, so I approached it and scrupulously scrutinized it. I noticed the small carvings near the wheel. They read, "RR=Love" and "R2R 4eva". I remembered those markings from the eighth grade when Roscoe and me drew them together. We wrote them on my bike too but after we broke up, I couldn't bear to look at them. Why would his bike be at my house? When I turned the knob to enter my house, I saw him sitting on the couch talking to Max. "Hey Max." "Rikku, I heard about the fight. Are you okay?" "Of course. I remembered everything you taught me. I aimed for her nose and she got off me right away." "Are you serious? See 'The Max Way' never fails." "So you're the one who taught her how to kick ass. Congrats to both of you." "Thanks." "Thank you. Roscoe, what are you doing here?" "Maybe we should go up to your room." "Is mom here, Max?" "She stepped out so you two better hurry up." "Sure thing. Thanks!" It was just like old times when Roscoe and me used to sneak upstairs when my mother wasn't around. It was always nice being able to kiss without people staring at us or forbidding us to do so. As we walked up the stairs, the halls grew dark and I could feel Roscoe reaching for my hand. "What are you doing here? Where's Melissa?" "I think we should wait until we get to your room." Finally we reached my room and my hands began to sweat. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad." We stepped into my room and I closed the door. Roscoe sat on my bed and looked at me. Around his neck, I noticed the necklace I had given him for his birthday last year. "Why are you still wearing that?" "I don't know where to start." "Why are you here?" "So many things have happened since... our breakup. I keep having these weird dreams about us." "Where's Melissa?" "It's like, we're meant to be together." "You know, it's your fault we broke up. I love you Roscoe. I thought you felt the same way about me. I guess I was wrong." "You weren't, and you're not wrong. I love you Rikku. I love you." "I love you too. But then why are you with Melissa?" "The same reason why you're with Ricky." "Ricky is my friend, I mean our friend. Why have you been treating him so badly?" "Ricky is a little too smart and a goody-too-shoes kind of guy, if you know what I mean." "No, I don't actually. Ricky is the Sophomore President. He is number five in the ranking of students. Instead of being happy for him, you are being jealous. Is that why you hang out with Shane, because he is stupid?" "No, Shane is like my brother. Ricky is like... my father." "Well, 'your father' was there for me today. He stepped into the fight unlike you who just stood there watching me bleed and bruise all over. If you love me then why did you let it happen?" "I didn't know Melissa was going to do that." "Why didn't 'your brother' Shane tell you?" "..." "At least when Ricky does something, he isn't such a pussy about it." "Wait, this isn't about Ricky. It's about us. I came to talk about us." "There is no 'us'." "What do you mean? You just told me you love me." "I do, forever and always. Sometimes, you just need to let go of the past." "Wait, what?" "I mean this is what I have wanted to hear for a long time. I wanted you to tell me that you love me and that we should be together. But I realized today that if we don't take advantage of the present and drift into the past, then we would not be able to look forward to the future." "But my future is you." "You say that now but I bet tomorrow, you will be all into Melissa and forget about this talk of ours." "I won't. I promise. I love you Rikku. How many times do I have to say it?" "You can say it as many times as you want. It doesn't mean anything unless you prove it to me." "How can I do that?" "You love me so much, you come up with something." "Okay." I got up to open the door, to make him realize that there was no "us" and that he had to leave. My heart was crumbling inside. I know I love him but this game has to end. He is just trying to get me amped so he can trick me again. He stood up and grabbed my hand. Then he kissed me. I could feel his hands holding onto my face. It felt as if nothing had changed between us, like we were still together. Then his hands slowly went to my hands, and he placed my hands on his shoulders. Then he grabbed my waist. He leaned against me and the door closed slowly behind us. Then he grabbed my face again and held his lips close to mine. I didn't even notice the time pass by because I was so involved in his lips and his soft kisses. Then he pulled away. "What's wrong?" "Did I show you how much I love you?" "I don't know. Do you think you did?" "No." Then he grabbed my face again. I could feel our tongues dancing and his hands just held my face tightly. I never wanted to let him go. "I hope that proves to you that I love you." "..." "I have to go." "Wait, you didn't tell me about the necklace. Why do you still wear it?" "It's one of the only memories I have of when I was happy." "What are you talking about? Aren't you happy now?" "It's hard to define happy when I'm not with you." "..." "I'll see you tomorrow." "Bye." He stepped out of my room and closed the door behind him. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Everything was going to be great. Roscoe and I love each other. Today was probably the greatest day of my life regardless of the fighting, and losing my best friend, okay it wasn't the greatest day. But, things are looking up. Knock, Knock! The door to my room swung open and Ricky stepped in. "Hmm, I just saw Roscoe leave your house, and I can tell your lips are moist, let me guess, you two were making out." "Ricky you're too smart." "What happened to Melissa?" "I don't know. He told me that he loves me." "For real? Poor guy, he doesn't know what he wants." "What do you mean?" "I just saw Melissa outside while he was coming out." "Are you serious?" "Yeah. I don't know what they're planning but you better be careful." "You think he was lying?" "I don't know Roscoe anymore. He used to be cool, now he's just a jerk." "Why would he want to do this to me?" "For Melissa." "How could I just let him do that to me?" "You didn't know. It's not your fault. You were responding with your heart." "But my head should've known better." "Just forget him. The reason I came was to help you." "With what?" "With Riku. I know you like him so I'm going to help you two get together." "Seriously?" "Of course. You're my best friend. I just want to make you happy." "Thanks." I was so excited that Ricky had decided to help me with my problem. But, I started to wonder why. I mean, he said he liked me and even though we are friends, Ricky has to be happy too. "Before we come up with a plan, how about I do something for you?" "Don't get me excited, Rikku." "I'm serious Ricky. Okay, close your eyes." "Come on, I am not here for me I'm here for you." "But remember when you told me that I should stop looking at you only as a friend? I think you're right. Don't close your eyes then." "Rikku, Roscoe was just here. Isn't this kind of nasty?" "Ricky, shut up." I took his hand and we both sat on the floor. Then he leaned against the bottom of my bed and I sat next to him. "You don't have to do this, Rikku." "Oh, I think I do." I leaned forward and kissed his moist lips. I held onto his head and felt his hands holding my face. Then he pulled me off. "This doesn't feel right." "What do you mean?" He grabbed me and we switched places so now I was leaning on the bed and he was in front of me. Then he put one of his legs between my legs and he leaned forward to kiss me. "You don't know how long I've waited for this." "Just kiss me." So he kissed me and held on to my waist. I could feel his fingers slowly strutting my stomach. So I put my hands into his shirt and did the same thing. "Hold on." "What is it?" "I want to try something too." He got off me and leaned against the bed again. Then, I sat on his legs and kissed him. His kisses were intense and he held my waist tightly. Then he began kissing my neck. "No, kiss my lips." "Why?" "I want us to kiss for as long as we can." Then I heard the door open and a set of keys hit the table. "Ricky, I think that's my mother." "I can't let go now, Rikku." "What if she comes in?" "I... what do you want me to do?" He pointed to his crotch area and I could see something popping up. "Sing a song. 'O Say can you see, by the dawn's early light..." "What so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming?" Then we could hear the steps creaking as my mother ascended the stairs and the doorknob turned slowly. "Hi honey! Hey Ricky! How's your mother?" "She's great. She said she needed to talk to you about setting up an appointment." "Oh that's great. I'm going over there now, would you like a ride home?" "No thanks, I brought my bike." "Okay, see you later." She left and closed the door behind her. "That was close." "Are you still hard?" "Don't ask." "Ricky, you're so funny." "Thanks! But I'm only being honest." Then he grabbed my face again and brought it to his. "Come here!" He stuck his tongue into my mouth and I could feel it massaging mine. We just held onto each other's faces and took advantage of the moment. "Rikku." "Yeah?" "I love you." Then he took my hands and together we slowly took off his shirt. "Ricky, I don't want to do anything that we will regret." "Trust me, I will regret not doing this." Then I heard footsteps and the door to my room swung open. In came Max and he handed me the telephone. "Wow, I don't even want to know!" Then Ricky put his shirt back on and smiled at me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Rikku." "Bye Ricky." Then he got up and bent down to kiss me. We let our lips touch for probably the last time and Max walked him to the door. "Hello?" "Hey Rikku, it's Riku." "Hey Riku." "I just wanted to call you to apologize." "For what?" "For today, I didn't even let you explain yourself." "Oh, it's no big deal. I mean it's my fault. I should have just... not liked Roscoe." "You can't help yourself. I know what that's like. That's kind of why I called you. I want to help you... with Roscoe." "Really? Wow, you're so mature." "I guess... I can hang out with you and make you happy at the same time." "Yeah, that's really nice of you." "Anything for you. I'll see you tomorrow." "Okay, bye." "Bye." Riku was going to help me get with Roscoe and Ricky is going to help me get with Riku. This is confusing.