Chapter 3 -

I know I have stumbled and caused you some tears
When you needed me most I haven't always been there
I know I'm not always the man I should be
But don't ever wonder what you mean to me

Two months later, and the abuse hadn't stopped. She didn't know what foolish part of her had thought it would. What use was it to lie to herself? She never believed a word of it...

Things hadn't changed much for Sandy. Her father continued the raping, her mother refused to hear it through her depression-induced slumbers, and her brother was out more than ever. The only thing that changed was that now she had a child growing inside of her, a child not fathered by Soda, but by her own father. The thought nearly made her sick. How could she tell Soda? Or anyone, for that matter? Would anyone believe her? It was doubtful...

Sandy lay on her back in her bed, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts on death. Oh, how she longed to die nowadays. Soda was her only reason for living anymore. She didn't deserve him... Not at all... He was too good, too wonderful... Too golden...

A loud knock sounded at the front door. Her father, the only one in the living room, answered it with a beer in his hand. Her bedroom door was open slightly, so she could see the police man at the door. His low voice carried to her ears. Was this about Soda? Were they coming to take her father away? She didn't have the strength to get out of bed.

"I'm sorry, sir," she heard the officer say. "There was nothing we could do... Your son was involved in a gang shoot-out... He died on the way to the hospital..."

Mikey was dead? Her brother? The only one she could have ever thought about talking to in this hellhole of a house? This was just too much... She started crying then, crying for herself, for the baby who would be born into a rotten life, for her mother who didn't know what was going on around her, for her brother who now lay dead on the cold operating table, and finally for Soda who never deserved any of this. He didn't deserve the troubles she would give him. Never. She couldn't do that to him.

Her father came in and beat her. He blamed her for Mikey's death. Mikey had always been his favorite. It was her fault that she wasn't a boy, that cruel little part of herself told her. All her fault. If she had been a boy, none of this would have ever happened. She should have never been born at all. Things would have been so much better for everyone if she had never, ever been born.

Soda sat staring up at his ceiling, thinking. Sandy had been so jumpy lately when they were together. What was wrong with her? He just couldn't put his finger on it. But he knew one thing: Whenever he could get enough money saved up, he was going to get her a ring and he was going to take her away from all of this Greaser against Soc jazz.

He smiled at that thought. Him and Sandy, married. Maybe a few kids, a dog, a white picket fence on the front lawn of a country house. Yes, it would be perfect. Simply perfect. Then Ponyboy and Darry could come visit every now and then. Everything would be wonderful.

"Soda," Darry shouted from the living room. "Phone!"

Soda ran to the living room and took the phone from Darry.

"Hello, Sodapop Curtis here!"

"Soda...?"

Sandy's voice was so weak on the other line that Soda was immedately sobered.

"What's wrong, Sandy? Are you hurt? What happened? Have you been crying?"

"Soda, I need you... please..."

"I'll be right over."

The line went dead. Soda looked at the phone for a moment. Then he simply dropped it and ran out the door, not bothering with shoes or a car or even telling Darry where he was going. Sandy was his main priority.

When he got to her house, he climbed up the gutters and through her window. She was huddled in a corner, crying, shaking like a leaf in the wind. He felt his heart catch at the sight of her like that.

"Sandy..."

For a moment, she looked up at him, fear etched clearly in her eyes. She didn't know him. Then recognition set in and she ran as well as she could over to him. He hugged her tight to her chest, rocking back and forth with her, whispering words of comfort to her. She spilled her story of Mikey's death to him, crying all the while. The tears just wouldn't stop now that they had started. All Soda could do was hold her close and try to comfort her, crying right along with her.

She finally finished crying. Soda was sitting there still, holding her close. She looked up at him with red eyes.

"Sandy, I love you..."

"I love you too, Soda..."

"Listen to me, babycakes... I'm never gonna let you down... Promise... I know I may have screwed up in the past, but I'll never make you cry again, I swear it... You mean the world to me, baby, and I'm gonna prove it to you... I am... As soon as I get the money, I'm gonna get a ring and ask you to marry me..."

"I'll say yes," she said on a smile.

"All right." He kissed her forehead. "I'm gonna go, baby. But I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay, Soda."

He kissed her forehead again and left. He walked home with his hands in his pockets, reflecting on everything that had happened recently. Ponyboy and Johnny had ran away, that soc got stabbed, and now Sandy's brother was dead... This was all getting to be quite much... But at least he had Sandy to count on through this...

Sandy was sitting at her window, looking out the way Soda just went. She heard the door creep open and she prayed that her father would just leave and not come back... Why couldn't he just go...

"You had that boy here again... Didn't you..."

She didn't answer him.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you, girl!"

No answer.

"You're getting to be just like your mother..."

The door slammed shut behind him as he left. Her mother... That was it! Struck by a seemingly great idea, Sandy crept down the hallway to her mother's room. She pushed the door open.

Her mother was sitting at her vanity, brushing her soft blonde hair. Frida Lawrence was the spitting image of her young daughter, right down to the china blue eyes. She didn't even look up as Sandy came in.

"Momma...?"

No answer from the woman at the mirror.

"Momma, I have something to tell you..."

Her mother looked up at her. The serious tone in the teenager's voice had caught her attention. This was something of an accomplishment since no one ever really got through to Frida these days. Sandy took a deep breath and pulled up all of her courage then continued.

"I'm pregnant, Momma..."

"It's that boy's, isn't it...? That one your father caught you fooling around with..."

"No, Momma, I never did anything with Soda. It was--"

"Don't lie to me, Sandy." Frida turned to look at her daughter. "That is it. You're leaving. Pack your things. You're going to stay with your grandparents!"

Sandy broke down then and there. She begged, pleaded, demanded, screamed, cried, whined, wailed, anything she could think of to get her mother to change her mind, take back those awful words. But Frida was determined in her decision. No, she wouldn't change her mind.

With a heavy heart, Sandy went back to her room and packed. She would never see Soda again... She knew that now... Never, ever again...