"Look, you guys cool off a bit, I'm gonna walk around. I'll find you
in the cabin."
As I turned around I could hear them start talking, they didn't even bother to whisper. I walked with the grace and confidence unknown to any human, but at this moment I feel like a five year old going to her first day of school. With the icy hand of fear gripping my insides, I didn't notice anybody around me. Walking through the train I heard Malfoy, but quickly dodged into an empty cabin to avoid seeing him. It wasn't time yet, I needed to wait for a time when everyone would know. Thinking back to how he screamed, moaned, and panted the night before; and devilish little smirk settles on my face. This was going to go down in the books of Hogwarts.
Finally it was time to face the Triumvirate once again. Gathering the things I brought with me, I walked to the cabin that I knew they would be waiting in. I don't really know why I'm so nervous, I mean; fuck them if they don't like me. Right? Wrong, I know that is the real answer but I just can't seem to face it. These three have been my second family, hell more like my real family for the past six years. We have cried, laughed, and screamed together. We faced the most feared wizard of all time, and imminent death together. I can't give that up, but I also know that I will no longer hide my true self just to try and gain acceptance from them. If they really love me, as much as I love them, then they will accept me for me.
Opening the door to the compartment, I faced faces that were not angry, happy, sad, or anything at all. They were completely passive, and for some reason, that felt even worse. An emotion is something I can react to, but now I am facing complete uncertainty. I sat down on one side of the compartment facing Harry, he was in the center flanked by a furious Ron and an upset Ginny. It was the obvious leader, Harry, that addressed me first.
"Hermione we have been friends for the past six years, and I only have one thing to ask you. Why? Why did you change? Why did you say those things to us on the platform? I'm trying not to judge you, just like you have done for me; but you owe all three of us answers."
A deep breathe of anxiety filled my lungs, and it seemed to stay in there no matter how hard I tried to exhale it.
"You three have been there for me through thick and through thin, but I have never let myself open up to you they way I am about to. I need to swear to me that you will never betray me by revealing the story I am about to entrust in you."
"Like you betrayed us you sluttty bitch!" Ginny said, damn I really wanted to hit that girl.
"No, this is something far deeper than some meaningless hook-up, this is who I am. This is about who I've become." With a few meaningful looks at each other; Harry, Ron, and Ginny decided to hear me out.
"Ok, I'm gonna get right to the point. At the end of fifth year, I found a prophecy about myself. I know what you're thinking, why didn't I tell you? Right. It's complicated guys, so much more complicated than I even know yet. The prophecy said
'Born in a world not meant for her, the truth would come out at
the brink of the new millennium. Friendships forged with the boy who
lived, and the family of fire, she will embrace what she will become.
Magic in her blood will not protect her from an early death, but she
will re-awaken with magic in her soul. Stronger then all around her,
she will find the black and white to her match her gray. Two who vies
for her heart of magic, but one alone will stand beside her at the
dawn of a new age.'
You might be wondering about how I know this prophecy is about me, well other than the fact that my name was on it. The truth is you guys, I died."
I could see the shock on their faces and hear the gasps of disbelief. I had no idea I could feel so pure and so dirty all at the same time. Pure due to the fact that I had finally exposed to truth about myself, but dirty because I knew I had hid from it for so long.
"Tell us what happened Hermione." Ron said to me, and finally I was able to exhale the anxiety that was welled up inside me. I knew Ron better than he knew himself, and the fact that we wanted to continue listening to me, was a signal that our friendship would remain.
"My parents have been fighting pretty continuously for a while now. Around the time of fourth year I realized that there was no hope for their marriage but they stayed together anyways. I came home at the end of last year to find them worse than ever, my parents had taken to throwing things and hitting each other. I was upstairs reading one night when I heard the fighting start again, but this time my mom had a gun. She shot my father, and killed him. I came running downstairs with my wand, ready to face whatever attacker I thought had come to get us. But, what could I do against my mom? She saw me with my wand and the next thing I knew she shot me and finally herself. I had one shot to the right lung, but I could feel the blood pouring out of me too fast. I crawled out to the road and waved for the Knight Bus. They got there and took me straight to St. Mungo's in record time. While I was on the bus, I died for a couple of minutes. When I woke up, everything was different. Dumbledore protected me from the wizarding press, but my parents were still dead no matter what. Anyways, I went home and tried to piece my life back together, but I failed. Yes, I Hermione Granger, failed miserably at something. I started fighting anyone I could, and I discovered that I was good at it. With my parents will giving me everything, I found myself changing more and more over the summer. So, when it comes right down to it, the Hermione Granger you guys knew died."
"I.....I don't know what to say" Said Harry. I knew this would be hardest on him. So many people in his life have died, and it was I that came back. I would give anything to have had it been his mom, dad, or Sirius to come back, but it was I out of all of them that took another ragged breathe after my heart stopped beating.
"So, how were your summers?" I asked.
As I turned around I could hear them start talking, they didn't even bother to whisper. I walked with the grace and confidence unknown to any human, but at this moment I feel like a five year old going to her first day of school. With the icy hand of fear gripping my insides, I didn't notice anybody around me. Walking through the train I heard Malfoy, but quickly dodged into an empty cabin to avoid seeing him. It wasn't time yet, I needed to wait for a time when everyone would know. Thinking back to how he screamed, moaned, and panted the night before; and devilish little smirk settles on my face. This was going to go down in the books of Hogwarts.
Finally it was time to face the Triumvirate once again. Gathering the things I brought with me, I walked to the cabin that I knew they would be waiting in. I don't really know why I'm so nervous, I mean; fuck them if they don't like me. Right? Wrong, I know that is the real answer but I just can't seem to face it. These three have been my second family, hell more like my real family for the past six years. We have cried, laughed, and screamed together. We faced the most feared wizard of all time, and imminent death together. I can't give that up, but I also know that I will no longer hide my true self just to try and gain acceptance from them. If they really love me, as much as I love them, then they will accept me for me.
Opening the door to the compartment, I faced faces that were not angry, happy, sad, or anything at all. They were completely passive, and for some reason, that felt even worse. An emotion is something I can react to, but now I am facing complete uncertainty. I sat down on one side of the compartment facing Harry, he was in the center flanked by a furious Ron and an upset Ginny. It was the obvious leader, Harry, that addressed me first.
"Hermione we have been friends for the past six years, and I only have one thing to ask you. Why? Why did you change? Why did you say those things to us on the platform? I'm trying not to judge you, just like you have done for me; but you owe all three of us answers."
A deep breathe of anxiety filled my lungs, and it seemed to stay in there no matter how hard I tried to exhale it.
"You three have been there for me through thick and through thin, but I have never let myself open up to you they way I am about to. I need to swear to me that you will never betray me by revealing the story I am about to entrust in you."
"Like you betrayed us you sluttty bitch!" Ginny said, damn I really wanted to hit that girl.
"No, this is something far deeper than some meaningless hook-up, this is who I am. This is about who I've become." With a few meaningful looks at each other; Harry, Ron, and Ginny decided to hear me out.
"Ok, I'm gonna get right to the point. At the end of fifth year, I found a prophecy about myself. I know what you're thinking, why didn't I tell you? Right. It's complicated guys, so much more complicated than I even know yet. The prophecy said
'Born in a world not meant for her, the truth would come out at
the brink of the new millennium. Friendships forged with the boy who
lived, and the family of fire, she will embrace what she will become.
Magic in her blood will not protect her from an early death, but she
will re-awaken with magic in her soul. Stronger then all around her,
she will find the black and white to her match her gray. Two who vies
for her heart of magic, but one alone will stand beside her at the
dawn of a new age.'
You might be wondering about how I know this prophecy is about me, well other than the fact that my name was on it. The truth is you guys, I died."
I could see the shock on their faces and hear the gasps of disbelief. I had no idea I could feel so pure and so dirty all at the same time. Pure due to the fact that I had finally exposed to truth about myself, but dirty because I knew I had hid from it for so long.
"Tell us what happened Hermione." Ron said to me, and finally I was able to exhale the anxiety that was welled up inside me. I knew Ron better than he knew himself, and the fact that we wanted to continue listening to me, was a signal that our friendship would remain.
"My parents have been fighting pretty continuously for a while now. Around the time of fourth year I realized that there was no hope for their marriage but they stayed together anyways. I came home at the end of last year to find them worse than ever, my parents had taken to throwing things and hitting each other. I was upstairs reading one night when I heard the fighting start again, but this time my mom had a gun. She shot my father, and killed him. I came running downstairs with my wand, ready to face whatever attacker I thought had come to get us. But, what could I do against my mom? She saw me with my wand and the next thing I knew she shot me and finally herself. I had one shot to the right lung, but I could feel the blood pouring out of me too fast. I crawled out to the road and waved for the Knight Bus. They got there and took me straight to St. Mungo's in record time. While I was on the bus, I died for a couple of minutes. When I woke up, everything was different. Dumbledore protected me from the wizarding press, but my parents were still dead no matter what. Anyways, I went home and tried to piece my life back together, but I failed. Yes, I Hermione Granger, failed miserably at something. I started fighting anyone I could, and I discovered that I was good at it. With my parents will giving me everything, I found myself changing more and more over the summer. So, when it comes right down to it, the Hermione Granger you guys knew died."
"I.....I don't know what to say" Said Harry. I knew this would be hardest on him. So many people in his life have died, and it was I that came back. I would give anything to have had it been his mom, dad, or Sirius to come back, but it was I out of all of them that took another ragged breathe after my heart stopped beating.
"So, how were your summers?" I asked.