!We Were Meant To Live For So Much More!
!Have We Lost Ourselves?!
!Somewhere We Live Inside!
True Scars Never Heal
Ch 3: Needing Support
Radio Free Roscoe
I went inside, and saw Simone asleep on the couch, I went up to my room, and pulled out the thorns I bled more, I cried more, I felt more awful. I cried myself to sleep that night, and into a dreamless sleep nonetheless. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!
When I awoke my head was throbbing, there was no way I was going to school today, my hand had gotten purple and swollen because of the depth the thorns had been.
"Honey, time to get ready for school" My mother came and told me.
"I'm not going to school today ma" I replied, I felt like a truck had run me over and then backed over me.
"What's wrong?" she questioned the usual mom thing.
"Well for one, My head hurts so much I can't feel the pain in my hand which I got when a guy gave me a thorned rose"
"OO do you have a boyfriend now?"
"No, well..." I had to think about this two guys had feelings for me, I had to decide, did I have a boyfriend? I thought it through and I didn't have one. "No mom I don't have one"
"Well if you are feeling this bad, I'll leave you home but you know you can call me or your dad if you need anything"
"Ok Mom" She then left my room, and I laid back, I had just denied having a boyfriend when me and Ray had had this kissing fest last night and then Travis... I didn't want to think about Travis, I had broken his heart which would mean the third time something like that had happened, 1st in London, 2nd Audrey, 3rd Me, I felt awful, I didn't want to think anymore, I just didn't want to do anything anymore, I wanted to cry, that's it, so that's exactly what I did. Then I heard my ringtone "The Reason" by Hoobastank ring louder and louder, trying to stop my sobs I picked up the phone.
"H-H-Hello" apparently my "stopping the sobs" thing didn't work out.
"Lily?" a familiar lower toned voice asked.
"Yea, it's me"
"What's wrong"
"Nothing, its my daily thing to cry my eyes out every morning" I laughed slightly, fake laugh, sort of like this fake life I was leading, full of lies and misconception.
"Come on Lily, what's wrong, is it because of what happened last night?" he asked, it was, but how was I going to put it?
"Yes sort of..."
"I'm sorry for what I did to you last night, I sort of knew you wouldn't return my feelings"
"Travis, I like you ok? It's just me and Ray have known each other for so much longer, and I guess it makes more sense, I'm sorry that I hurt you, you are my best friend, and you know I would never do anything to hurt you."
"I know Lily, but you kind of did it anyway" Then the line went dead. I felt awful I had found out that I indeed HAD broken his heart and hurt him. I made Travis feel like "durt" which was Ray's way of saying "Dazed and Hurt" I felt like the worst friend in the world. I continued to cry until yet again I heard that familiar ringtone.
"Hello" I managed to keep my sobs under control
"Lily, What's Wrong" Ok, apparently I had given something away, but he always knew when I was down.
"Everything"
"We have an hour before school, I'm coming over"
"You don't need to, really"
"Too bad Lily, I'm already on my way"
I hung up and found myself smiling, smiling? At I time like this I was supposed to by crying my eyes out, but I knew once he got here, I would be fine, I needed a friend to talk to, and right now he would understand the most. I hear a ring, not my phone, another ring, not the house phone either, it was the doorbell I hurried up and got it. There he was my friend, I hugged him, and with that he knew how much was wrong.
"I'm really glad you came here"
"It's not a problem, I mean I know when you "need a friend" which was what I said when he surprised me at the underground a few weeks ago when we were entangled in the Travis/Ray/Me catastrophe.
"Thanks Robbie" I guided him up to my room, and we sat on my bed.
"So, are you going to tell me anything?" He questioned with a concerned tone even a concerned look.
"Ok, here it is, Ray and me stayed back in the underground yesterday after the show and you and Travis went out on dates, me and Ray talked and then kissed, many times, we decided it would be alright if we went out, so then he walks me home and gives me this mindblowing goodnight kiss, and then I walk up to my porch and Travis sits there heartbroken, and hands me a single red rose and leaves, I squeeze the rose to hard trying to think why this all happened and (shows him purple swollen hand) this happens, and Travis called earlier and told me that even if I didn't mean to (at this time her sobs came back and so did her tears) I-I hurt Him a-a-anyway, a-a- and now I-I-I feel like a big jerk, the b-b-biggest jerk ever" Robbie hugged me and offered support, he was the greatest friend he let me cry on his shoulder for a full 20 minutes, and told me that whatever decision I would eventually make, it would be the right one because I decided it.
"I'm sorry I kept you here with my petty problems, it's going to make you late for school" I said feeling bad for Robbie
"It's fine Lily, when my friend is hurting I can't just stand and watch" He said with a smile.
"Well since I'm dating Ray, and Travis obviously hates me, You are the best friend a girl could ever had" I kissed him on the cheek, friendly kiss, though I didn't want it to get out of hand like it had with Travis.
"And you are the best friend I could have" Robbie said while smiling, "I wish I could stay but I really have to get to school"
"Oh yea, right, Robbie never late or absent from school" I gave him a smile, real one this time, I was feeling so much better.
"You know me too well Lily" He gave a faint laugh and left my room. I was amazingly smiling, Robbie made me realize that I was dating my best friend, and that I would need to talk to Travis about that, but whatever happened I could always talk to him if I needed support, I grabbed my headphones and turned on my Switchfoot CD, my favorite song "Meant To Live" was on repeat, I fell asleep like that, I completely forgot about everything, but I didn't know that later once I turned on the radio I would feel bad again, and so would one of my friends.