Back for part five....a lot faster than I've gotten to the other chapters. I've had a horrible
migrane for the past week, due to some cramps in my neck acc. to the chiropractor. Anyhow
I am currently on some good drugs and outfitted in my black scrubs and sunglasses.....with
a nice black bathrobe over this because it's cold in here. The corridor was put in here to
connect this room with the new section of the house, and it's not all the way insulated yet.
Let's see.....where were we? [looks it up] What? I have a migraine! You expect me to
remember typing something? Besides, drugs kicked in and I'm in Happy Land right now.
Right....Freddy went after that annoying brat of Sam's...the only time we're letting him kill
someone under the age of 17, so he'd better enjoy it while it lasts. That's only because we
all know in real life, that kid would NOT have free run in an ER. I would assume that real
doctors and nurses are a bit more serious, and don't need some kid running around making
cracks about the patients. So in our defense in killing him, he has no right to be there
anyhow.
Also, I would like to take this time to thank my dear friend, Jaclyn for reading this...and
admitting it. I got your letter, and will answer it as soon as I can.....I've actually gotten
caught up with the mail recently, so I'm hoping to get a few more answered as soon as I
can think clearly. For those confused, Jaclyn is one of my closest friends, who happens
to live in England at the moment, and we've been writting for a couple years now. Jaclyn,
Love you lots, hope you're doing well and thanx for being such an understanding friend.
Oh yeah, for those interested, I have a new puppy as well now. He's small enough to fit
in my pocket, [although he's still upstairs] is black and white and is a breed like a Toy
Poodle, called a "Boston Noodle"......I assume this is a real breed, no matter how weird it
sounds.....anyways, taking the name under careful consideration, I named him "Macaroni."
Stop it, I can hear you laughing. For those who think I'm being cruel, his nickname is
"Macky", and he's the sweetest little thing....now if he'd just quit eating my socks.....
Okay, right, this is a story, not an email. Now that all that is out of the way, Back to the
tantrum........[cassi pauses to sing with "Fading like a Flower" by Roxette....also on your
tape, Becca]--For those curious, who don't know me, my fav. group is Roxette, and I have
all their solo work from the 80's all in swedish...and the first album that never came out
here. --As of April, the box is sealed and in my mom's room.....if and when my dad gets
around to mailing it. We'll nag him more. Later..
********************************************************************
CHAPTER FIVE: "ONE TWO....FREDDY'S COMING FOR YOU..."
****************************************************
When Becca and Mid reached the ER the first people they ran into were Lucy and CAPTAIN
Jack [just for you, Becca].....literally. The two of them ran smack into the pair, knocking them
over, with Becca landing on top of CAPTAIN Jack. "Hey!" Mid exclaimed. "We were
just looking for you guys!"
Becca grinned down at the pirate. "Nice to bump into you." She drawled out.
"Hey, he's with me!" Lucy argued.
"Not anymore." Becca went on, still staring dreamily down at CAPTAIN Jack.
CAPTAIN Jack, finally managing to get himself out from under her, picked up the frying
pan she'd dropped. "And wha' were ye plannin' to do wi' this, luv?" He asked, handing
it back.
"With what?" Becca asked, still staring dreamily at him.
Mid rolled her eyes and elbowed her. "We were hitting people with them...remember?"
She asked, pointedly. "That's why we came down here."
"I thought we were coming down to find Captain Jack." Becca remarked. "And to get
away from the chainsaw massacre going on upstairs."
"Who's massacring what?" Lucy asked, staring.
"Cassi, Freddy and Romano are playing with Anspaugh.....and Murdoc gave them a
chainsaw." Mid informed her.
"Ouch." Julian spoke up from behind them. "I wondered what Cassi had in mind."
"So who are you killing?" Becca asked.
Julian yawned. "Nobody yet." He replied, sounding bored. "That gets a bit stale after
a while for me. My realitives are a bunch of life sucking wraiths, remember? They maime
people all the time."
"Forget I asked." Becca murmured. "Where's the rest of the fun?"
"Sven's after Pratt the Rat, who is running around frantically trying to get away from her,
the Med students got torched by Dr. Corday, who left, I assume....and a few of the other
doctors and nurses have left the building to pack."
"Pack?" Mid questioned. "Why?"
"They're all leaving." Lucy answered, as if it should have been obvious. "They said
something about not wanting to be the next victim for the writers to kill off. After all,
look what they did to me. I would have thought it would have been obvious back then
that anyone could be next."
"Yeah, but Cassi and Sven weren't around here then." Julian pointed out. "That was
before they started the spoof-world."
"Seems like so long ago." Lucy remarked. "And I haven't even been on the set that
long."
"Talk to the Cats." Julian told her. "They've been there since the very beginning." He
paused. "In fact, I heard Cassi and Sven discussing an award for Misto, Bob, Mungo,
and Teazer. They're the only ones who have been part of every spoof ever written."
Lucy nodded. "That's right." She admitted. "Mungo and Teazer have been the Medical
people since the Princess Bride, and that was the second spoof.....how many are we at now?"
"Almost thirty." Julian answered.
CAPTAIN Jack gave an impressed look, and whistled. "Interestin'." He commented.
Before they could reflect on this anymore, they were interruped by Freddy, who came
dancing down the stairs. "One Two Freddy's coming for you....." He sang out, gleefully.
Becca frowned. "I thought you were helping Cassi and Rob." She put in, drawing Freddy's
attention.
Freddy grinned wider. "I was, but Romano wanted to do most of the work and Cassi said
I could kill a child down here." He told them, happily. "You wouldn't know where I can
find this 'Son of Sam', would you?"
Sven, who had been chasing after Pratt again, skidded to a stop as she heard this. "He was
put to death." She informed him. "I have the book 'A to Z of Serial Killers'. Trust me, he's
dead."
"Not THAT one!" Freddy snapped. "The kid! There's a Son of Sam down here. Cassi and
Rob said so....I get to kill him."
"Oh, him. He's with his mom, I think they're hiding somewheres after Romano tried to kill
Sam." Sven informed him. "Just look around, I don't think they got out. Our security is
hard to get past." With this, she went on, continuing her chase.
*********************************************************************
THIS SPACE FOR RENT.....
*********************************************************************
WARNING: Cassi is drinking a bottle of Pepsi, with a Lortab high. BEWARE!!!!
*********************************************************************
Down in the ER, where Becca and Mid had run off with Lucy and Jack, and Freddy is
currently looking for "Son of Sam".....who should enter the main doors, but another
Evil Author. This one was carrying a bag in one hand and a large mounted and stuffed
Energizer Bunny.
"So, is this the party?" Amanda asked, looking around.
Freddy skidded to a stop as soon as he heard her. "Hey! I know you!" He cried. "You're
the one with the purple smoke!"
Amanda grinned and held up a bag. "Yep, and I brought some more!" She told him, proudly.
"Where's Cassi, and when are we going to start Titanic?"
"Cassi's upstairs with Rob, and a chainsaw, currently hacking up ol' Fat Butt." Freddy
informed her. "I'm down here looking for that little brat that runs around the ER, they
call the Son of Sam. He's the brat-kid of one of the nurses. Wanna help me kill him? We
can play with the smoke some more!"
Amanda smiled. "Sounds like fun." She replied. "Where can I put Mr. Bunny here? I
was bringing him to Cassi for a present."
"Aww, how cute." Freddy stated, appreciativly. "First you shoot him to death, then you
stuff him. Wait until Anya sees that."
"That should defintely be something." Amanda agreed. "Where can I park him?"
Freddy looked around. "You can always leave him with Jerry at the desk." He suggested.
"Most of the others have left to pack."
-----------
A few minutes later, with Jerry keeping an eye on the bunny, Freddy and Amanda took off
to find the little brat, who's name I can't remember for the life of me, but don't really care, as
he's getting killed anyway.
"By the way!" Amanda remarked as they headed down the hall. "You never said when
Titanic was starting."
Freddy nodded. "Um.....I think after this mess is done." He answered, frowning. "It's
supposed to be the one starting after "Spoofed Towers," isn't it?" **This mess is taking
place just after Spoofed Towers started.....so we're a bit ahead of ourselves here**
"As far as I know." Amanda replied. "Cassi's already sent me the cast sheet." She paused.
"This is going to be one REALLY big farce." **Features anything from Animaniacs in star
roles to Gremlin lookouts, to cell phones, insane cameos, a 2003 dime, and sign-up sheets
posted to reserve places on the life boats...and of course a few people going overboard at
any time during the spoof...including star roles.**Let's just say Isabelle Corday is Ruth
Dewitt Bukater.....and a few people suggested we push her off a few times**
"Yes well if Cassi and Sven, along with you, Becca, and anyone else who wishes to make
suggestions, planning it, I can figure it will be as far from serious as one can possibly get."
Freddy reminded her, then looked around, sniffing the air. "I smell a child around here!"
He crowed, triumphantly.
"Wow, are you the REAL Freddy Krueger?!" The young brat in question suddenly asked,
stepping out from a corner. "I LOVE your movies!"
Freddy grinned widely. "Like taking candy from a baby." He muttered to Amanda, looking
the boy over while unsheathing the claws on his glove. "Why don't you come over here and
find out?"
Before the stupid kid could approach the Nightmare demon, his mother reached out and
grabbed him. "You get away from him!" Sam warned in a low tone.
"Oh, but I have permission to kill him!" Freddy told her with a snicker. "And if I have to
kill you to get to him, that just makes the party more FUN!"
Amanda grinned as she pulled out a Really Big Gun. "Oooh, yes, let's have a big party!"
She cried, also holding a handful of purple smoke.
*********************************************************************
INSANITY BREAK# 14,678,439 Common phrases used by Cassi in a single day--
(to the cat) "Did it ever occur to you that I did NOT put that there just so you could
SIT on it?!"
"Macky, I know this is a big shock to you, but the cat litter box is not one of the four
food groups."
(to Wertzel) I don't CARE if he looked at you! You have no right to bite him! **my dog takes
after us**
(to the puppy after he takes a dump) I don't know who told you that, but it is NOT going to
jump up and bite you if you don't get away from it right away. [I swear this is true]
And the one that comepletely takes the taco....and proves that I have some really stupid
cats....I open the door to the small balcony/fire escape, and it is raining out. So the cats
get ticked off as this means they can't go out...so what do they do? They run to the office,
where the silding door leads to the upstairs porch....and get told...."I'm pretty sure it's
raining over there too!" But they're not convinced until I open the door so they can see for
themselves that yes, it is raining on both sides of the house.
I worry about my cats sometimes.......True, this is Kansas, but REALLY! My cats have seen
too much Marx Brothers...."Animal Crackers" Rain on one side of the house, sunshine on
the other. We now return to the story in progress.......
*********************************************************************
End section [checks which chapter this is] um...five.
Now don't yell at me, but all this has been typed for over a month now. I just never got the
chance to finish it until now. Finish being everything after "We now return you to the
story in progress." Sorry...but in my defense....I HAVE been sick for a week.
Give your reviews and I'll try to get the next section uploaded when I finish typing it.
AND NOW....Reviewer Responses.....
tv-crazy: I am SOOOO happy to get a review from you....that way I can say....Where's the
next chap of "Why Me?" You left off in a rather unpleasant spot....MUST HAVE MORE!!!!
Right, anyways--glad to hear you're enjoying murder and chaos. It's rather fun. Much more
to come, and next chap.....we learn what Romano & Corday were discussing in the Ambulance
Bay. ^_~
Goddess of Snark: I know you, don't I? Are you in the Rocket Sanctuary? You should read
some of my other work. "Forbidden: The Chase" and Jurassic III also have Freddy and
Romano....and they're both Assistants to the Author.....and still killing people. ^_^
Becca! When are you going to make up your mind about your Author name? You're
confusing people. Right, anyhow, you got to land on CAPTAIN Jack and then you got
to quote him. Happy? [pause] Oh wait, the quoting thing is in the next chapter. Never mind.
(grins) Also, thanx for the funnies...we used them for the insanity breaks in the next chap!
Janainlane4u: Sven says you can kill Pratt after we put him back together again. (grins) It's
in the next chap which is finished and will be out sooner than this one.
Amanda! You get to kill Sam. In any way you so wish. It'll be in the chap that comes after the
chap that comes after this one. And I'll have the beginning of the Zorro spoof sent to you as
soon as I can for your comments.
I think that's all.....THANK YOU all for your reviews, and I promise I'll get the next chap up
sooner than this one.
migrane for the past week, due to some cramps in my neck acc. to the chiropractor. Anyhow
I am currently on some good drugs and outfitted in my black scrubs and sunglasses.....with
a nice black bathrobe over this because it's cold in here. The corridor was put in here to
connect this room with the new section of the house, and it's not all the way insulated yet.
Let's see.....where were we? [looks it up] What? I have a migraine! You expect me to
remember typing something? Besides, drugs kicked in and I'm in Happy Land right now.
Right....Freddy went after that annoying brat of Sam's...the only time we're letting him kill
someone under the age of 17, so he'd better enjoy it while it lasts. That's only because we
all know in real life, that kid would NOT have free run in an ER. I would assume that real
doctors and nurses are a bit more serious, and don't need some kid running around making
cracks about the patients. So in our defense in killing him, he has no right to be there
anyhow.
Also, I would like to take this time to thank my dear friend, Jaclyn for reading this...and
admitting it. I got your letter, and will answer it as soon as I can.....I've actually gotten
caught up with the mail recently, so I'm hoping to get a few more answered as soon as I
can think clearly. For those confused, Jaclyn is one of my closest friends, who happens
to live in England at the moment, and we've been writting for a couple years now. Jaclyn,
Love you lots, hope you're doing well and thanx for being such an understanding friend.
Oh yeah, for those interested, I have a new puppy as well now. He's small enough to fit
in my pocket, [although he's still upstairs] is black and white and is a breed like a Toy
Poodle, called a "Boston Noodle"......I assume this is a real breed, no matter how weird it
sounds.....anyways, taking the name under careful consideration, I named him "Macaroni."
Stop it, I can hear you laughing. For those who think I'm being cruel, his nickname is
"Macky", and he's the sweetest little thing....now if he'd just quit eating my socks.....
Okay, right, this is a story, not an email. Now that all that is out of the way, Back to the
tantrum........[cassi pauses to sing with "Fading like a Flower" by Roxette....also on your
tape, Becca]--For those curious, who don't know me, my fav. group is Roxette, and I have
all their solo work from the 80's all in swedish...and the first album that never came out
here. --As of April, the box is sealed and in my mom's room.....if and when my dad gets
around to mailing it. We'll nag him more. Later..
********************************************************************
CHAPTER FIVE: "ONE TWO....FREDDY'S COMING FOR YOU..."
****************************************************
When Becca and Mid reached the ER the first people they ran into were Lucy and CAPTAIN
Jack [just for you, Becca].....literally. The two of them ran smack into the pair, knocking them
over, with Becca landing on top of CAPTAIN Jack. "Hey!" Mid exclaimed. "We were
just looking for you guys!"
Becca grinned down at the pirate. "Nice to bump into you." She drawled out.
"Hey, he's with me!" Lucy argued.
"Not anymore." Becca went on, still staring dreamily down at CAPTAIN Jack.
CAPTAIN Jack, finally managing to get himself out from under her, picked up the frying
pan she'd dropped. "And wha' were ye plannin' to do wi' this, luv?" He asked, handing
it back.
"With what?" Becca asked, still staring dreamily at him.
Mid rolled her eyes and elbowed her. "We were hitting people with them...remember?"
She asked, pointedly. "That's why we came down here."
"I thought we were coming down to find Captain Jack." Becca remarked. "And to get
away from the chainsaw massacre going on upstairs."
"Who's massacring what?" Lucy asked, staring.
"Cassi, Freddy and Romano are playing with Anspaugh.....and Murdoc gave them a
chainsaw." Mid informed her.
"Ouch." Julian spoke up from behind them. "I wondered what Cassi had in mind."
"So who are you killing?" Becca asked.
Julian yawned. "Nobody yet." He replied, sounding bored. "That gets a bit stale after
a while for me. My realitives are a bunch of life sucking wraiths, remember? They maime
people all the time."
"Forget I asked." Becca murmured. "Where's the rest of the fun?"
"Sven's after Pratt the Rat, who is running around frantically trying to get away from her,
the Med students got torched by Dr. Corday, who left, I assume....and a few of the other
doctors and nurses have left the building to pack."
"Pack?" Mid questioned. "Why?"
"They're all leaving." Lucy answered, as if it should have been obvious. "They said
something about not wanting to be the next victim for the writers to kill off. After all,
look what they did to me. I would have thought it would have been obvious back then
that anyone could be next."
"Yeah, but Cassi and Sven weren't around here then." Julian pointed out. "That was
before they started the spoof-world."
"Seems like so long ago." Lucy remarked. "And I haven't even been on the set that
long."
"Talk to the Cats." Julian told her. "They've been there since the very beginning." He
paused. "In fact, I heard Cassi and Sven discussing an award for Misto, Bob, Mungo,
and Teazer. They're the only ones who have been part of every spoof ever written."
Lucy nodded. "That's right." She admitted. "Mungo and Teazer have been the Medical
people since the Princess Bride, and that was the second spoof.....how many are we at now?"
"Almost thirty." Julian answered.
CAPTAIN Jack gave an impressed look, and whistled. "Interestin'." He commented.
Before they could reflect on this anymore, they were interruped by Freddy, who came
dancing down the stairs. "One Two Freddy's coming for you....." He sang out, gleefully.
Becca frowned. "I thought you were helping Cassi and Rob." She put in, drawing Freddy's
attention.
Freddy grinned wider. "I was, but Romano wanted to do most of the work and Cassi said
I could kill a child down here." He told them, happily. "You wouldn't know where I can
find this 'Son of Sam', would you?"
Sven, who had been chasing after Pratt again, skidded to a stop as she heard this. "He was
put to death." She informed him. "I have the book 'A to Z of Serial Killers'. Trust me, he's
dead."
"Not THAT one!" Freddy snapped. "The kid! There's a Son of Sam down here. Cassi and
Rob said so....I get to kill him."
"Oh, him. He's with his mom, I think they're hiding somewheres after Romano tried to kill
Sam." Sven informed him. "Just look around, I don't think they got out. Our security is
hard to get past." With this, she went on, continuing her chase.
*********************************************************************
THIS SPACE FOR RENT.....
*********************************************************************
WARNING: Cassi is drinking a bottle of Pepsi, with a Lortab high. BEWARE!!!!
*********************************************************************
Down in the ER, where Becca and Mid had run off with Lucy and Jack, and Freddy is
currently looking for "Son of Sam".....who should enter the main doors, but another
Evil Author. This one was carrying a bag in one hand and a large mounted and stuffed
Energizer Bunny.
"So, is this the party?" Amanda asked, looking around.
Freddy skidded to a stop as soon as he heard her. "Hey! I know you!" He cried. "You're
the one with the purple smoke!"
Amanda grinned and held up a bag. "Yep, and I brought some more!" She told him, proudly.
"Where's Cassi, and when are we going to start Titanic?"
"Cassi's upstairs with Rob, and a chainsaw, currently hacking up ol' Fat Butt." Freddy
informed her. "I'm down here looking for that little brat that runs around the ER, they
call the Son of Sam. He's the brat-kid of one of the nurses. Wanna help me kill him? We
can play with the smoke some more!"
Amanda smiled. "Sounds like fun." She replied. "Where can I put Mr. Bunny here? I
was bringing him to Cassi for a present."
"Aww, how cute." Freddy stated, appreciativly. "First you shoot him to death, then you
stuff him. Wait until Anya sees that."
"That should defintely be something." Amanda agreed. "Where can I park him?"
Freddy looked around. "You can always leave him with Jerry at the desk." He suggested.
"Most of the others have left to pack."
-----------
A few minutes later, with Jerry keeping an eye on the bunny, Freddy and Amanda took off
to find the little brat, who's name I can't remember for the life of me, but don't really care, as
he's getting killed anyway.
"By the way!" Amanda remarked as they headed down the hall. "You never said when
Titanic was starting."
Freddy nodded. "Um.....I think after this mess is done." He answered, frowning. "It's
supposed to be the one starting after "Spoofed Towers," isn't it?" **This mess is taking
place just after Spoofed Towers started.....so we're a bit ahead of ourselves here**
"As far as I know." Amanda replied. "Cassi's already sent me the cast sheet." She paused.
"This is going to be one REALLY big farce." **Features anything from Animaniacs in star
roles to Gremlin lookouts, to cell phones, insane cameos, a 2003 dime, and sign-up sheets
posted to reserve places on the life boats...and of course a few people going overboard at
any time during the spoof...including star roles.**Let's just say Isabelle Corday is Ruth
Dewitt Bukater.....and a few people suggested we push her off a few times**
"Yes well if Cassi and Sven, along with you, Becca, and anyone else who wishes to make
suggestions, planning it, I can figure it will be as far from serious as one can possibly get."
Freddy reminded her, then looked around, sniffing the air. "I smell a child around here!"
He crowed, triumphantly.
"Wow, are you the REAL Freddy Krueger?!" The young brat in question suddenly asked,
stepping out from a corner. "I LOVE your movies!"
Freddy grinned widely. "Like taking candy from a baby." He muttered to Amanda, looking
the boy over while unsheathing the claws on his glove. "Why don't you come over here and
find out?"
Before the stupid kid could approach the Nightmare demon, his mother reached out and
grabbed him. "You get away from him!" Sam warned in a low tone.
"Oh, but I have permission to kill him!" Freddy told her with a snicker. "And if I have to
kill you to get to him, that just makes the party more FUN!"
Amanda grinned as she pulled out a Really Big Gun. "Oooh, yes, let's have a big party!"
She cried, also holding a handful of purple smoke.
*********************************************************************
INSANITY BREAK# 14,678,439 Common phrases used by Cassi in a single day--
(to the cat) "Did it ever occur to you that I did NOT put that there just so you could
SIT on it?!"
"Macky, I know this is a big shock to you, but the cat litter box is not one of the four
food groups."
(to Wertzel) I don't CARE if he looked at you! You have no right to bite him! **my dog takes
after us**
(to the puppy after he takes a dump) I don't know who told you that, but it is NOT going to
jump up and bite you if you don't get away from it right away. [I swear this is true]
And the one that comepletely takes the taco....and proves that I have some really stupid
cats....I open the door to the small balcony/fire escape, and it is raining out. So the cats
get ticked off as this means they can't go out...so what do they do? They run to the office,
where the silding door leads to the upstairs porch....and get told...."I'm pretty sure it's
raining over there too!" But they're not convinced until I open the door so they can see for
themselves that yes, it is raining on both sides of the house.
I worry about my cats sometimes.......True, this is Kansas, but REALLY! My cats have seen
too much Marx Brothers...."Animal Crackers" Rain on one side of the house, sunshine on
the other. We now return to the story in progress.......
*********************************************************************
End section [checks which chapter this is] um...five.
Now don't yell at me, but all this has been typed for over a month now. I just never got the
chance to finish it until now. Finish being everything after "We now return you to the
story in progress." Sorry...but in my defense....I HAVE been sick for a week.
Give your reviews and I'll try to get the next section uploaded when I finish typing it.
AND NOW....Reviewer Responses.....
tv-crazy: I am SOOOO happy to get a review from you....that way I can say....Where's the
next chap of "Why Me?" You left off in a rather unpleasant spot....MUST HAVE MORE!!!!
Right, anyways--glad to hear you're enjoying murder and chaos. It's rather fun. Much more
to come, and next chap.....we learn what Romano & Corday were discussing in the Ambulance
Bay. ^_~
Goddess of Snark: I know you, don't I? Are you in the Rocket Sanctuary? You should read
some of my other work. "Forbidden: The Chase" and Jurassic III also have Freddy and
Romano....and they're both Assistants to the Author.....and still killing people. ^_^
Becca! When are you going to make up your mind about your Author name? You're
confusing people. Right, anyhow, you got to land on CAPTAIN Jack and then you got
to quote him. Happy? [pause] Oh wait, the quoting thing is in the next chapter. Never mind.
(grins) Also, thanx for the funnies...we used them for the insanity breaks in the next chap!
Janainlane4u: Sven says you can kill Pratt after we put him back together again. (grins) It's
in the next chap which is finished and will be out sooner than this one.
Amanda! You get to kill Sam. In any way you so wish. It'll be in the chap that comes after the
chap that comes after this one. And I'll have the beginning of the Zorro spoof sent to you as
soon as I can for your comments.
I think that's all.....THANK YOU all for your reviews, and I promise I'll get the next chap up
sooner than this one.