As she opened the door to her apartment, Abby sighed. John watched as her face fell. He had no idea how she was feeling, he knew how he felt but her, she had carried Holly for eight months and to leave her in the hospital must have been really tough. "Do you want me to stay?" He asked cautiously.
She thought for a minute before answering him. "I'd really like to be alone if that's okay." She turned to look at him, a genuine smile on her face.
"That's okay. Call me if you need anything." He gave her a peck on the cheek before leaving the apartment.
Abby looked around her. She had left the apartment a week ago, being in labour. The place was in a bit of a mess. She walked around the sofa, picking bits and pieces off the floor as she went. In her bedroom the bed still lay in the disarray that it always lay in. She remembered back to when Carter had lived with her. The bed was made every morning. He was such a neat freak. She was the exact opposite.
She came back out of her room and turned to go into the spare bedroom that was now Holly's nursery. She couldn't help but smile as she entered it. The walls were a cheerful yellow colour. The handy work of herself and young Alex. Alex, she hadn't thought about him all week. He had been such a help to her throughout her pregnancy. They had become best buddies. She thought about calling Sam and asking her and Alex to come around but she wasn't sure she was up to company. She had just left her baby daughter in hospital. Even though the doctors were very pleased with her she still was underweight and still had a little problem breathing properly sometimes.
Sliding down the wall in Holly's room she began to think of all that could go wrong and all that could go right. Closing her eyes, she began daydreaming of her perfect situation.

The day was warm. Abby, John and Holly were out for a walk along the river. John was pushing the stroller with one hand while holding Abby's hand in the other. The sun shone caught the diamond ring that sat on Abby's finger casting a rainbow over Holly's stroller. They were smiling and laughing. Continuing to walk further along the river they met Susan and Chuck with their baby, a little boy. They were sitting with a picnic, inviting John and Abby to join them. Everyone having such a good time.

If only life was like that. She knew that it could go the other way and John could up and leave again. He could just as easy leave for Africa again. It was nothing for him to do it the first time without telling her so she knew he could do it again. She hoped he didn't. The way they had been together the last few days had been wonderful and she hoped that they could finally work things out.

The phone rang breaking Abby from the trance she was in. She wiped the lone tear that had slipped down her cheek. "Hello." She weakly answered.
"Abby, it's David Neilson, from the NICU. I know you've just left but can you come back?"
Abby panicked. "Why, what's wrong?" A million thoughts began to race through her head.
"I'm afraid Holly has taken a turn for the worse. I'll explain everything when you get here." Doctor Neilson told her.
"I'll be there as quickly as I can." Abby said as she slammed the phone down. She quickly grabbed her keys before running out of the apartment.

When she arrived at the NICU, she wasn't prepared for what she was confronted with. She walked straight to Holly's incubator. Gasping, she stepped back with her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe how her baby girl looked. When she had left that morning, Holly wasn't attached to any machines, her oxygen had been cut right back to night time only. Abby had breast fed her just before leaving, now she was intubated again, had two IV's in her tiny body, a feeding tube in her nose and a heart monitor. Abby couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she took her daughters tiny hand into her own. "Abby."
Doctor Neilson's vice broke through Abby's consciousness. She quickly wiped the tears away as she turned. "Doctor Neilson, what happened?" She choked out, sobs threatening to wrack her body.
"Abby, sit down." Doctor Neilson directed Abby into the chair beside the incubator. He crouched down so he was at her level. "WE received Holly's test results back. It has been discovered that one of her heart valves isn't working properly. It's caused her breathing to become laboured and her heart to slow. We are giving her medication right now but it's apparent that she will need surgery."
Abby's cry became apparent to all in the NICU. She knew of the risks but hearing them from the doctor about her child she couldn't help but cry. "We've contacted Holly's father for you." Doctor Neilson continued as he led her from the NICU to the family room across the hall.
Abby didn't answer. She dropped to the sofa, her head falling into her hands. She wasn't dealing at all with the news she had been given. She began hyperventilating. "I.........Can't..........Breath." She managed to spit out. Doctor Neilson placed his hand on her back, slowly pushing her down so her head was between her knees. Hr breathing soon went back to normal. He sat for a few more minutes with her before heading back across to the NICU. Abby began pacing the floor of the room. Why was this happening to her? Hadn't she been punished enough?

Mean's dream.

Another Chapter, hope you are still enjoying