"But we can't go tomorrow, Professor," Hermione complained. "You said yourself that no quest is complete without a stupid little tag-along. Malfoy killed ours; where are we going to find another one?"

"Are you blind, Mudblood? The school's infested with tag-alongs. We can simply close our eyes and randomly pick a student out and they'll be perfect for the position." said the Slytherin helpfully.

"...Hey! He called me a Mudblood!" Hermione really was quite dim. The smart Hermione is really her evil twin.

"A bit slow-witted, aren't we?"

"Too bad, Herm. If your blood's that dirty just go get a blood transfusion," Harry said nonchalantly.

"But," Draco said cheerfully. "We don't need to go pick a random stupid tag- along to go with us. We've got you, Granger."

"Thank you," Hermione said, oblivious of the insult thrown in her face.

"Well, Dumbledore said. "Now that we have that issue settled, you should really start on your costumes. I was thinking maybe a pink and purple polka-dotted spandex suit with a utility shower cap. It is sure to strike fear in the hearts of your adversaries. How's that sound?"

"Ah..." Ron said, edging towards the door. Harmione and Harry followed his lead (shows how dull they are). "We'll be leaving, Professor."

"All right," agreed Dumbledore.

Draco, meanwhile, had slid over towards Fawkes' perch. He grabbed the bird and stuffed it down his shirt. He then attempted to sneak down the stairs, but the phoenix squawked.

Dumbledore's head shot up. "Mister Malfoy? What was that sound?"

Draco's back was turned towards the headmaster. "What? Oh, you mean that squawking noise that wasn't made by your phoenix stuffed down my shirt? It's Weasley's pet goose. He's been looking for it, and I found her in here. Being a VERY GOOD FRIEND of the Weasel's, I'm bringing her to him."

"Really? I had no idea you and Mr. Weasley were on such good terms. For that, I will take back the zillion points I awarded you for knocking him out." Dumbledore said evilly.

"NOOOO!" shouted Draco, his back still turned.

"Why is your back turned to me?" Dumbledore asked.

"It's not. You just have bad eyesight. May I suggest a new pair of glasses?"

"Oh...all right..." Suddenly his voice became urgent. "You are aware of your task, correct? They must all die. All three of them."

"Yes, Headmaster. Now, I must be returning the chicken to Weasel King." With that, he left. After he descended the cool staircase, he used his amazing powers and shrunk it and stuck it in his pocket. He walked whistling to his common room, Fawkes' golden head sticking out of one of his sleeves.

"And here I thought it was a goose. And I can't see...I must be going senile." Dumbledore mused. "Such a nice boy, that Draco, eh, Fawkes?" No reply. "Fawkes? Fawkes? WHERE ARE YOU, FAWKES MY BELOVED?!?!?!?!?!" He ran to his staircase, except it wasn't there anymore. He plummeted down, and fell, laying in a quivering heap. A single feather fell on his back. It (his back) broke.

Thus passed the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchraft and Wizardry.

Snape's voice came across the speakers (that appeared just for this scene). "Attention students of Hogwarts. I REGRET to inform you that our Headmaster has passed away. According to my sources, hs back was broken by a...am I reading this right? Are you sure it doesn't say 'fat sumo wrestler'? No? All right...erm...his back was broken by a...feather."

The school was silent with shock. A feather?

"I'm sure you are all terribly grieved," Snape said with thinly veiled glee, watching the students put up celebratory decorations in the Great Hall. "As I CERTAINLY am." The DJ appeared, dragging his equipment with him. "But we must continue with out daily lives, even in the absence of this great leader. So, I will become Headmaster."

The school went silent with shock again. This time, pandemonium ensued. Students began screaming and running into tables. The Patil twins drowned themselves in the punch. Others jumped out windows. The DJ ran away and hid in a corner.

"NO!" came the heroic voice of Minerva McGonagall. A white spotlight (literally) shone upon her. "I will take the late headmaster's place. He said so in his will." The students began cheering and dancing around wildly. Several continued to run into tables. Severus noted with amusement that Potter and his friends were among them. Then he had a mood swing (he was bipolar).

"Let me see that!" the potions master growled. "This is in your handwriting!" he spat.

"No it's not," McGonagall countered. "You're just jealous because I have power and YOU don't. So there!" She blew a raspberry.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Whatever," She must be PMSing, he thought.

A/N: Sorry; random randomness stuck in. I swear the next chapter will be better! Please R&R, and flame if you wish.