Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything officially to it. I do own this fan fiction, this plot, and any original characters.

Pairings/Couples: Harry x Tristan (OC), Ron x Hermione, Caleb x ?

Warnings: This story will contain SLASH, as in a relationship between to male characters, so if you don't like, don't read. (And no flames please, it's not like I'm not forcing you to read this.) Language and violence.

Spoilers: This story is AU but it still might have spoilers for all five books.

Chapter four: Ollivader's a nut case! The bell over the door made a small jingling sound when they entered.

The inside of the shop was narrow and in not exactly the best condition, dust coated the floor and had collected into little piles in the corners of the windows. Paint was peeling from the rough wooden walls, cobwebs hung in corners, and the air smelled musty, like an old closet.

The over all moving space was tiny, most of the room was taken up by long thin boxes, an old, knot-holed desk that was severely chipped and beaten in places, and a single, spindle chair, which looked like it couldn't even hold the weight of a small child.

"Man, this place gives me Goosebumps." Caleb said as he rubbed his arms as he were cold.

"Yeah, it's really odd." Harry agreed in a voice that sounded like his mind was elsewhere. "Almost as if you can feel the magic." Suddenly he blinked and looked at the others, who were staring at him. Harry blushed and massaged the back of his neck. "It's probably better if you just ignore me."

"Um, yeah, we'll do that."

"Good afternoon," A soft voice said from be hind them. They all jumped slightly and turned around.

An old man was standing in front of them. Harry noticed that there was nothing remarkably strange about this man, until he looked closer and saw the man eyes.

They were wide, pale in color, almost completely white, and seemed to glow in the dimness of the shop. For a moment Harry thought he might be blind, but then the old man walked over to them without hesitating or faltering besides the normal aches and pains of a man his age.

He swept his near colorless eyes over ever one in the group. "You need not wear those disguises here."

"You can see through spells?!" Tristan asked excitedly

Ollivander chuckled, although it sounded more like a dry wheezing cough. "Aye, young mister Black. It can come quiet in handy, you know?"

"Cool." Caleb said with admiration.

Ollivander turned towards Harry and the boy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He swallowed.

"Ah, mister Potter." He spoke so quietly he was almost whispering. "You look so much like you mother, but with your father's coloring." His eyes took in Harry's magically changed hair and eyes, obviously seeing right through to the real color beneath.

Harry continued to stare at Ollivander as the man walked closer to him. "Yes," He nodded to himself. "Very beautiful, like your mother."

Harry inwardly cringed and stepped back. He had never received compliments very well, according to his friends, but hearing those words come out of this creepy, old man mouth was just beyond weird. (A/N: No, Ollivander is not a pedophile, he's just saying Harry resembles his mother and, while not skinny or small by any chance, looks rather feminine.)

"You're a odd one, aren't you? Eh, boy?" Ollivander grinned and his eyes widened even more, Harry swore that if they got any bigger they were going to pop right out of his head, and moved away from the un-nerved teen.

"Excuse me, sir?" Harry questioned, his voice shaking slightly. "What do you mean?"

Ollivander laughed again but did not answer him directly instead he looked at Caleb and Tristan in nearly the same manner. "Hmm, now that is something. All of you have it." He mumbled and walked to the back of the shop shaking his gray head. "Can't believe. No wonder He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named wanted them. If they learn, they'll be practically unstoppable. Living weapon, healing the light, driving back the darkness. Friend or foe, which will it be? Not animal, nor all human. Unbelievable. . ."

He disappeared from sight and the remaining occupants of the room glanced uneasily after him. "Maybe, he lost it while we were gone." Sirius stated.

"Ya think?" Tristan said sarcastically, but his heart wasn't really in it. He was still too freaked out by the old man.

"What was that all about?" Caleb looked over to his father. "He mentioned Voldemort."

Remus was as confused as they all were. "I honestly don't know. Maybe he did lose his sanity."

"Living weapon." Harry muttered under his breath, his brow furrowed in thought.

"Oh, great, it's contagious." Tristan rolled his eyes, but everybody (except Harry) could tell he was both slightly curious and worried for Harry. Maybe the old weirdo had traumatized him? Tristan knew he had not enjoyed the man's scrutiny and Harry was always rather skittish, like a nervous colt, so he was probably even more scared.

Before anyone could say anything else, Ollivander re-entered the room, carrying some of the long thin boxes that were stacked sky everywhere.

"Ok, now, would one of you please step forward?" He said and sat his burden on the spindle chair. Straightening up, he clapped his hands together once. "Well? You want wands don't you?"

He seemed more lucid than he had before. Caleb went over to the chair; a lot of his previous doubt of the old man was pushed aside in favor of excitement at the prospect of finally having a wand.

"Good, lad. Stand still and which is your wand arm? Hold it out, good, good." He pulled out a long measuring tape with silver markings on it out of his pocket.

He measured Caleb from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to foot, knee to armpit, and around his head.

As he measured, he spoke, "Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Lupin. We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you'll never get such good results with another wizard's wand."

Ollivander ceased his measuring and went back to the rear of the store. They waited in silence and soon the wand maker was back with more boxes. He sat the new load with old and picked out one box. He opened it and pulled out a smooth, glossy looking strip of wood. "Here you go." Ollivander handed the wand to Caleb. "Willow and dragon heartstrings."

Caleb took the wand and waved it slightly. Nothing happened and Ollivander took it back. He gave Caleb another wand, this one birch, nine inches, and a phoenix tail feather.
Once again nothing happened.

What seemed like a hundred tries later (it was only really about five); Ollivander chose one of the boxes from his first trip to the back of the store.

"Try this one. Mahogany, ten inches, with a hair from a unicorns tail."

Caleb sighed and shifted on his feet, feeling restless, before grabbing the wand. The moment his fingers curled around the handle, the wand glowed a pale blue and shot out silver sparks.

His friends clapped and his father looked like he was about to cry.

"Finally." Tristan said took his turn. (A/N: I'm too lazy to write everything down again, besides it would be rather boring if you ask me.)

A pile of cast aside wands lay on the floor and everybody had sat down on the dusty floor, except for Tristan and Ollivander, as the teen tried his ninth wand.

"Well, you know what they say 'tenth times the charm'." Ollivander said after that one failed. He was the only one who didn't look like he was about to fall asleep.

Tristan held back a groan and, feeling rather dubious, took the wand.

Nothing.

"Damn it!" Tristan cursed and threw the stick of wood to the floor. Then jumped on it. Several times.

"Hey, don't do that!" Ollivander cried, looking shocked, and bent down swiftly to retrieve the wand from Tristan's harsh treatment. "Just because it's not your match, doesn't mean it's not some one else's. It's not the wand's fault that you're so incompatible."

Shadow simmered silently.

"Calm down, Tristan." Harry tried to sooth him. "Just be patient, okay?"

Taking a deep breath, Tristan nodded. "You're right, of course. All right, old man, let's have another wand."

Half An Hour Later

"Ahh! I'm getting tired of this!"

Another Hour Pass

"You said that that would be the one!"

"Even the best can make mistakes, young man!"

Two Hours Later

"Stupid wand! You suck!"

Two and a Half Hours, a lot of swearing, some crying, and sixteen repairing spells later

"Well, you know what they say 'One- hundred and forty-sixth is the charm.' "

"You know what else, old codger? I don't believe you anymore."

"Come on, come on, just one more left in the stack. Ebony, twelve inches, and dragon heartstring." Ollivander handed him the last one and as he took it, Tristan had to force down the desire to hit the man with it.

At first it looked like another mismatch, but just as Tristan was about to start shouting again, the wand's tip burst in to the flames.

Shocked, he almost dropped it. His friends jumped up, knocked out of their stupors, and his father rushed over to him.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked grabbing his son's arm to check for damage. "I've never seen anything like that happen when testing for a wand."

"I'm fine, dad, stop worrying. And can I have my hand back? My fingers are numb."

"Well, finally. I never thought we find you a wand." Ollivander wiped sweat off his brow. "Now I can rest."

"Um, sir?" A quiet voice said. "But I'm still here."

"Oh, god!"

THUD.

Silence.

"Do you think he's alright?" Caleb asked looking at the prone form on the ground.

"He just fainted." Remus replied, checking Ollivander's pulse. "We should wake him up. It's getting late and Harry needs a wand."

"Why don't we just do it are selves?" Tristan yawned. "I mean, how hard could it be? All Ollivander did was measure us then hand us different wands."

"He measured you then chose wands that he thought would suit those measurements. We don't know how to do that."

"Please. He was guessing. Making stuff up as he went along. Any idiot could do that." Pause. "You know, you would be great at it, dad."

"Shut up, you little punk!" Sirius yelled and bonked Tristan up side the head.

"Ow! Hey, man, that's child abuse. I could have you arrested."

""Ha! Even if that tiny slap was grounds for getting me sent to trial, any jury would take pity on me for having you as a son."

Before it could turn into a full-scale war, Remus whistled loudly and the two stopped arguing.

"Ahem. Would you please stop acting like five years olds? Thank you. Now." He waved his wand over Ollivander. "Enervate." (sp?)

The old man groaned and blinked. "Ugh. I was having the worst nightmare."

Tristan leaned over him and grinned evilly. "It was no nightmare. Mwhahahah!"

Black and purple lightning flashed in the sky outside the window. SMACK. "OW! You could of just told me to stop, you know! Ya didn't have to hit me."

"Yeah, I know, but it was fun."

Harry, Caleb, and Remus sighed before helping Ollivander, who looked like he was about to pass out again, off the floor.

"Sorry we're causing you so much trouble." Harry apologized and sent Sirius and Tristan a glare. Both shrank back. It was rare to see Harry angry, but the boy did have a nasty temper and tongue when he was. "But just help me find a wand and we'll leave."

"Alright, give me a minute." He went to get more wands and Harry frowned at the abased father and son. "Behave this time."

"We'll be good." They promised.

Presently Ollivander came back, arms loaded.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road!"

Everybody else: " . . . "

"Haha." Harry laughed weakly and stood next to him, waiting for the measuring to begin. (A/N: Once again I'm skipping ahead slightly.) Thirty minutes later and Harry still didn't have a match. "Hey, dad." Tristan whispered and leaned closer to Sirius. "Does it always take this long?"

"No, I've never seen it take this long." He replied and shifted; trying to get more comfortable against the wall he was leaning on. "And I've never even heard of it taking this long." He made a face. "You kids have always been impossible to please, now is no different."

"It's your fault. You raised us."

"Bite me."

While this little (and completely meaningless, only filler for the authoress) conversation was going on, Harry was on his fifteenth wand.

"Try this. Holly, eleven inches with a phoenix tail feather core."

When the wand was in his hand, Harry felt his entire body tingle and get warm. The wand itself was glowing pure white and was making an odd humming noise.

"Wow." Tristan said even as he put his hand up to shield his eyes from the bright light.

"Ditto." Caleb nodded.

"That's everybody right." Ollivander demanded, looking around his store as if expected another costumer to pop out from behind something.

"Don't worry. That's everybody." Harry reassured the panicked man. Ollivander relaxed.

"Congratulations on being the recipients of such great and powerful wands." He sighed and ran his hand over his head. "Now get the hell out! I don't care what animals you are, just get away from me!"

As the door slammed shut behind them, so hard in fact that they were sure the little bell nearly fell off, Caleb frowned. "Animals? What was he talking about that time?"

Tristan sighed, "Caleb, it didn't mean anything. Ollivander is a nut case."

All where slightly startled when the door they had just exited was yanked open and Ollivander stood there, glaring at them. "You forgot to pay!"

A/N: Was it good? Answer: Hell no! But it was the best I could do at the moment. Bad case of writer's block.

The ending sucked, I know. Pause Come to think of it, the beginning and the middle sucked as well.

Oh, well. Please excuse my lousy writing, poor storylines, and lateness in updating.

Read and review.

Thanks to Reviewers for chapters Two and Three:

ANON

ATHENAKITTY INSANECHILDFIC

ALEXIS-LEE

LOR

Thanks again for reviewing and keep reading!

Guten Tag - Reine