There wasn't much of Sunday left by the time I felt capable of leaving Wu fei's place.
It was a long walk.
I forgot to turn down a couple of streets and somehow ended up out the front of Heero's place.
I wished I had the courage to just go in and talk to him, to tell him I didn't mean it, that I didn't know what I'd said or done, but I didn't mean it anyway.
It was well after dark by the time I made it home.
Howard didn't question my dishevelled state, just thumped me on the shoulder to let me know he was glad I was safe and shook his head at my bruised face. No doubt I'd get an earful from Jan later on.
I stood in the shower for so long I ended up with the indent of the shower drain on my foot and when I hopped out I realised I hadn't done my hair so I had to get back in and wash it.
I accidentally ignored Deathscythe for longer than he could tolerate, he nipped me on the arm so hard it bled.
I put him in his cage for the first time in ages, ignoring his mournful little croaks I climbed into bed and buried my head beneath my pillows.
My head was running 20 million miles an hour around a closed circuit that consisted of Heero, Hilde, Relena, the party, Wu fei, Heero. I kept getting this weird constriction in my throat and my body would overheat, I could feel myself sweating, my head prickling as if my scalp was shrinking. Then I'd cool down till I was shivering before it all washed back into my mind. Starting again.
Questions, too many questions, too many why's, too many what the hell was I going to do, too much, just too much.
I was jolted awake by a bloody loud squawking directly in my ear. I leapt out of bed only to crash into the dresser having somehow ended up with my head at the wrong end of the bed during the night.
Damned bird.
Friggin five thirty in the bloody morning, lucky the blasted thing had the brains to perch itself on top of the friggin wardrobe where I couldn't reach it, how the hell did it get out of it's cage?
I swear to Shinigami I felt like strangling something.
I calmed down when I noticed a couple of black feathers resting on my bed. Damn, I must've actually hit him.
"Hey buddy, I'm sorry" I grabbed his seed tin and noticed I hadn't fed the poor guy either, "I didn't mean to hit ya mate, come down" He just squawked indignantly and continued pacing along the top of the wardrobe.
Sighing I grabbed my desk chair to stand on and grabbed a couple of seeds out of the tin. He reluctantly approached my hand making these funny little croaky sighs he does when I talk to him. Sounds kinda like 'I know, I know', well, if you, sorta don't listen too hard. I dunno. He generally does it when I complain about having too much homework, or that someone's an arsehole or something.
Sounds like he's sympathising.
He basically just crumbled the seeds, letting it all drop onto the wardrobe. Punishment. I'd have to clean that up later.
He hopped onto my hand and sidestepped down my arm till he was perched on my shoulder. He gave my fringe an experimental nibble then began checking out the palatability of my ear.
I spent a couple of hours feeding Deathscythe while lying on my bed and telling him I'd had a bloody awful weekend and I really didn't want to face anyone today.
He muttered agreeably and paced up and down my stomach.
I snorted. He'd somehow picked up on Heero's grunting prompts to continue the conversation.
The clock eventually rolled around to 8:00 and Howard came to take Deathscythe off to work.
I contemplated staying home for the day, but after having sat in the lounge room, got up, sat in the kitchen, got up, eaten a piece of frozen cake, picked up the newspaper, put it down, and stood looking blankly out the dining room window. I decided I was thoroughly bored and would much rather face whatever horrendous music was in store for me sooner rather than later, and rushed up stairs to put on my uniform.
I was late to school. Missed the entire first period.
My initial reluctance had returned after I reached the end of the first block. I wasn't feeling as intensely ashamed as I had yesterday, but my gut still felt like it was consuming itself each time my thoughts completed their rotation, seeming to concentrate more on the half images, flashes, bursts of sound and sensation from the blasted party.
Damn it!
Walking into school just as the second period bell went I noticed my circle of friends making their way towards the basketball courts.
They were more spread out than usual. Trowa and Wu fei were either side of Hilde. Sally was leading Relena at the front who kept looking mournfully over her shoulder at Heero who was looking rather sulky as Quatre patted him on the back, ok scrap that, he looked like he was going to rip someone's vitals out. The way his glare intensified every time Relena turned around kinda indicated she was the lucky little chicken about to receive disembowelment.
Well shit, hey. I'd broken them up.
Some part of me managed to garner happiness from that fact, but it was soon washed away by a flood of guilt, worry, fear? If Heero wanted to hurt Relena, then he probably wanted to kill me.
They were already dressed in their sports uniforms so I headed off to the locker rooms to get changed.
I only had half my clothes on when Quatre suddenly appeared.
"Duo, where have you been? We were worried sick, how come you didn't call me back?"
I sighed and pulled my shirt over my head before turning to face him.
"I've been around, I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd called."
"By Allah, your face" he grabbed my shoulder and turned me towards the light. He sighed. "Don't be angry with him Duo, Heero's really upset, you've got to go and talk to him about what happened at the party." he released my shoulder giving me that horrible pleading look he's so good at.
I looked away.
"Quat, I don't even remember the party." How was I supposed to talk about something I couldn't recall, "I know I did something wrong, I know it must've been bad, but I don't have a bloody clue what it was"
"You don't remember anything?" I swung around to find Heero standing in the locker room doorway. He was looking, more tense than usual.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry Heero"
He looked steadily into my eyes then nodded and took a step into the room. He was going to forgive me?
"Heero!" Quatre admonished. They glared at each other. They'd obviously discussed something, probably what I'd done. Looking between them I saw Heero give a slight shake of his head.
Quatre sighed. "Fine, I can't force you" He brushed past Heero crossly.
I stood there watching him watch me. Was he expecting me to say something? Was he going to tell me what happened?
All of a sudden words came pouring out my mouth, as if someone had attached my mouth directly to my thought stream and chucked away whatever usually filtered out and organised everything into coherent sentences.
"Heero, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I woke up and you weren't there, I didn't know what I'd done, I didn't know what to think, I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't want you to be upset, I'm sorry about Relena, I'm sorry....." I trailed off as he came to stand in front of me and he raised his hand to my face.
"I'm sorry too" he murmured, running his finger lightly over my bruised cheek.
"Heero, what did I do?"
He shook his head slightly. "It doesn't matter" He carefully pushed my face to the side so he could get a better look.
"You really belted me one didn't you" I chuckled.
He suddenly snatched his hand away looking....for a second....he looked....caught.
Then he smirked.
"Idiot" he muttered and led the way out the door.
It was a long walk.
I forgot to turn down a couple of streets and somehow ended up out the front of Heero's place.
I wished I had the courage to just go in and talk to him, to tell him I didn't mean it, that I didn't know what I'd said or done, but I didn't mean it anyway.
It was well after dark by the time I made it home.
Howard didn't question my dishevelled state, just thumped me on the shoulder to let me know he was glad I was safe and shook his head at my bruised face. No doubt I'd get an earful from Jan later on.
I stood in the shower for so long I ended up with the indent of the shower drain on my foot and when I hopped out I realised I hadn't done my hair so I had to get back in and wash it.
I accidentally ignored Deathscythe for longer than he could tolerate, he nipped me on the arm so hard it bled.
I put him in his cage for the first time in ages, ignoring his mournful little croaks I climbed into bed and buried my head beneath my pillows.
My head was running 20 million miles an hour around a closed circuit that consisted of Heero, Hilde, Relena, the party, Wu fei, Heero. I kept getting this weird constriction in my throat and my body would overheat, I could feel myself sweating, my head prickling as if my scalp was shrinking. Then I'd cool down till I was shivering before it all washed back into my mind. Starting again.
Questions, too many questions, too many why's, too many what the hell was I going to do, too much, just too much.
I was jolted awake by a bloody loud squawking directly in my ear. I leapt out of bed only to crash into the dresser having somehow ended up with my head at the wrong end of the bed during the night.
Damned bird.
Friggin five thirty in the bloody morning, lucky the blasted thing had the brains to perch itself on top of the friggin wardrobe where I couldn't reach it, how the hell did it get out of it's cage?
I swear to Shinigami I felt like strangling something.
I calmed down when I noticed a couple of black feathers resting on my bed. Damn, I must've actually hit him.
"Hey buddy, I'm sorry" I grabbed his seed tin and noticed I hadn't fed the poor guy either, "I didn't mean to hit ya mate, come down" He just squawked indignantly and continued pacing along the top of the wardrobe.
Sighing I grabbed my desk chair to stand on and grabbed a couple of seeds out of the tin. He reluctantly approached my hand making these funny little croaky sighs he does when I talk to him. Sounds kinda like 'I know, I know', well, if you, sorta don't listen too hard. I dunno. He generally does it when I complain about having too much homework, or that someone's an arsehole or something.
Sounds like he's sympathising.
He basically just crumbled the seeds, letting it all drop onto the wardrobe. Punishment. I'd have to clean that up later.
He hopped onto my hand and sidestepped down my arm till he was perched on my shoulder. He gave my fringe an experimental nibble then began checking out the palatability of my ear.
I spent a couple of hours feeding Deathscythe while lying on my bed and telling him I'd had a bloody awful weekend and I really didn't want to face anyone today.
He muttered agreeably and paced up and down my stomach.
I snorted. He'd somehow picked up on Heero's grunting prompts to continue the conversation.
The clock eventually rolled around to 8:00 and Howard came to take Deathscythe off to work.
I contemplated staying home for the day, but after having sat in the lounge room, got up, sat in the kitchen, got up, eaten a piece of frozen cake, picked up the newspaper, put it down, and stood looking blankly out the dining room window. I decided I was thoroughly bored and would much rather face whatever horrendous music was in store for me sooner rather than later, and rushed up stairs to put on my uniform.
I was late to school. Missed the entire first period.
My initial reluctance had returned after I reached the end of the first block. I wasn't feeling as intensely ashamed as I had yesterday, but my gut still felt like it was consuming itself each time my thoughts completed their rotation, seeming to concentrate more on the half images, flashes, bursts of sound and sensation from the blasted party.
Damn it!
Walking into school just as the second period bell went I noticed my circle of friends making their way towards the basketball courts.
They were more spread out than usual. Trowa and Wu fei were either side of Hilde. Sally was leading Relena at the front who kept looking mournfully over her shoulder at Heero who was looking rather sulky as Quatre patted him on the back, ok scrap that, he looked like he was going to rip someone's vitals out. The way his glare intensified every time Relena turned around kinda indicated she was the lucky little chicken about to receive disembowelment.
Well shit, hey. I'd broken them up.
Some part of me managed to garner happiness from that fact, but it was soon washed away by a flood of guilt, worry, fear? If Heero wanted to hurt Relena, then he probably wanted to kill me.
They were already dressed in their sports uniforms so I headed off to the locker rooms to get changed.
I only had half my clothes on when Quatre suddenly appeared.
"Duo, where have you been? We were worried sick, how come you didn't call me back?"
I sighed and pulled my shirt over my head before turning to face him.
"I've been around, I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd called."
"By Allah, your face" he grabbed my shoulder and turned me towards the light. He sighed. "Don't be angry with him Duo, Heero's really upset, you've got to go and talk to him about what happened at the party." he released my shoulder giving me that horrible pleading look he's so good at.
I looked away.
"Quat, I don't even remember the party." How was I supposed to talk about something I couldn't recall, "I know I did something wrong, I know it must've been bad, but I don't have a bloody clue what it was"
"You don't remember anything?" I swung around to find Heero standing in the locker room doorway. He was looking, more tense than usual.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry Heero"
He looked steadily into my eyes then nodded and took a step into the room. He was going to forgive me?
"Heero!" Quatre admonished. They glared at each other. They'd obviously discussed something, probably what I'd done. Looking between them I saw Heero give a slight shake of his head.
Quatre sighed. "Fine, I can't force you" He brushed past Heero crossly.
I stood there watching him watch me. Was he expecting me to say something? Was he going to tell me what happened?
All of a sudden words came pouring out my mouth, as if someone had attached my mouth directly to my thought stream and chucked away whatever usually filtered out and organised everything into coherent sentences.
"Heero, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I woke up and you weren't there, I didn't know what I'd done, I didn't know what to think, I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't want you to be upset, I'm sorry about Relena, I'm sorry....." I trailed off as he came to stand in front of me and he raised his hand to my face.
"I'm sorry too" he murmured, running his finger lightly over my bruised cheek.
"Heero, what did I do?"
He shook his head slightly. "It doesn't matter" He carefully pushed my face to the side so he could get a better look.
"You really belted me one didn't you" I chuckled.
He suddenly snatched his hand away looking....for a second....he looked....caught.
Then he smirked.
"Idiot" he muttered and led the way out the door.