Got what all wrong?
Blast Relena.
She couldn't wait until Quatre managed to explain himself, could she.
Tearing across the Quad and leaping up the steps, I began dodging the students littering the hallway in an attempt to get as far away from Relena as possible. I could not handle having to deal with her accusations at the moment, even if they were justified. I already knew I'd wrecked her chances with Heero and I admit it would've been nice to know exactly how I did that, but I was having enough problems trying to figure out how to fix my own friendship with him without having to deal with hers as well.
Skidding around the corner, I ducked past Wu Fei and Sally only to come face to face with Heero, almost knocking him to the ground. My stomach jolted as he grabbed my shoulder to steady me and I quickly regained my footing, flashing him a grin. He seemed to freeze for a second, then he nervously pushed me away and turned to continue walking up the hall.
I slowly sank against the cupboard beside me and lowered my eyes so I didn't have to watch him leave, then I carefully opened the door and slipped inside the tiny space, hoping no one would miss me and I could sulk in peace.
I wasn't stupid. I knew it'd never go back to how it was before despite the fact we'd tried damn hard to do so last night. It's just, pretending the problem doesn't exist never made it go any away faster and I was afraid Heero wasn't willing to put in the effort to fix it even though it was entirely my fault. I didn't want him to ignore it. I didn't want him to give up on me. I didn't want him walk away.
I wanted....him.
I just wasn't sure he if he was willing to deal with that.
Images from the night before began parading around my head trying to convince me that he would forgive me eventually. Unfortunately they tried to back up their argument with the part where Heero's weight was pressing me into the floor, his fingers were curled amongst the hair around my ear and his face was mere inches from my nose bearing that slightly baffled expression he'd had seconds before he'd realised his fucking best friend was about to kiss him.
I moaned against the woodwork wondering just how long I'd been ignoring myself for, but my mourning was cut short as a very distinctive pair of shoes broke the silence of the corridor and came to a standstill directly outside my little retreat.
Relena. Damnit.
"Heerooooo, how are you?"
I cursed whoever made the decision to confine sticky tape storage to the classrooms and was about to inform her that Heero wasn't in this cupboard and she might like to try somewhere on the second floor, when the door was suddenly ripped open and someone else was shoved inside, slamming me against the back shelves.
I squawked as a knee hit me in the crotch and the sensation of having my belly button ripped out my spine as my gonads retreated into my abdomen successfully confined my thinking capabilities to that specific area between my legs.
"Right you two." Relena's voice was muffled by the door, "I believe you have something to discuss."
As I attempted to get a hand between us to cradle my poor, abused genitalia, I was vaguely aware of Heero struggling to keep me standing. One hand clutched the shirt beneath my arm, the other held me against his chest as he muttered apologies interchanged with profanities concerning bloody interfering mindless females.
I buried my nose in his neck and groaned loudly, slinging one arm around his waist for support and digging my fingers into his back.
Oh man Relena. You sure know how to make a guy pay for his mistakes. I stifled a whimper and groaned some more.
Heero suddenly turned very still and the muscles of his neck moved against my face as he swallowed and shifted away from me slightly. It took me a few extra seconds to think through pain and figure out what was going on, then the realization hit me.
Without thinking, I shoved myself away from him.
"Sorry Heero, just....sorry....I wasn't...I'm not...." I buried my face in my hands and pressed myself back into the shelves holding my breath. God, I was so stupid. How could I do that to him? Was I trying to drive him off? Was I trying to get the crap beaten out of me? I cringed into the corner just wondering how angry he'd be.
From what I remember of the party, he'd definitely done his nut. All I had from then were images of him yelling, his blue eyes flashing as he shouted and pushed me away. But if last night was anything to go on, maybe he wouldn't take it that bad. I mean, he appeared to have been trying to ignore it a moment ago, maybe if he knew I didn't mean it.....if I just explained....
Effing.....
Why couldn't everything just go back to normal? Why couldn't he just forget? Did every single bloody innocent moment from now on need to be treated with suspicion?
Would I have to explain it every single time?
Letting my hands drop away from my face, I suddenly noticed that he was watching me. I looked up, catching only a glimpse of his wide blue eyes staring straight at me, before he quickly turned away, fiddling with the edge of his shirt.
I tried not to let the rejection hurt and summoned a slight wisp of courage to try and say what I wanted to say. If I wanted to keep him as a friend, as a good friend, I couldn't let him think I was trying for something every time I touched him, and since we were forcibly trapped in a cupboard and all, at least he wouldn't be able to get away until I'd finished.
"Heero I...."
"It's ok." I looked at him in surprise. There didn't appear to be anything wrong, but his voice....it sounded like he was....I looked closer, peering at him in the dim light and he twisted his head away further under my scrutiny, causing the light leaking through the gaps around the door to flash brightly off his eyes.
I pulled back in amazement. What on earth was he so upset for?
Reacting instinctively, I reached out to comfort him but I realised my mistake when he drew away from me and I quickly retreated back to my side of the cupboard.
I hated seeing him hurt. It made it particularly heart wrenching this time because he was actually having difficulty hiding it. Heero Yuy does not show pain. Heero Yuy does not allow people to see any form of weakness.
At this very moment Heero Yuy was battling with something. He was obviously in pain, and he was showing it despite his best efforts.
I was his best friend dammit. He had to let me in.
I reached out, only to have my wrist caught in his hand. "Don't fucking touch me!!" he hissed, throwing my arm back at me, an expression of loathing curling across his face. He shuddered and looked for a second as if he was going to be sick. "Open the door Relena!"
I couldn't believe it.
A "No." came from the outside the cupboard.
"Open it!!"
"No."
How could he?
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
It was like everything meant nothing.
"NO!"
He could support Quatre and Trowa. He had no problem with them, but he turns away from his best friend?
"YES!"
What kind of...? Who would...?
There was no way I going to take that. How dare he.
I grabbed his arm to get his attention and make him look at me instead of yelling at Relena only to have him slam his fist into stomach and push me away again.
"What the Hell is your problem, Yuy?" I tried to yell it but all that came out of me was a choked whisper so I punctuated it by shoving him against the cupboard door instead.
The ferocity with which he turned on me nearly made me cower. He grabbed both my shoulders, holding me against the shelves and got right in my face.
"You are!" He hissed furiously. "You say things you don't mean. You do things. You goad me." He shook his head as if he couldn't find the words to say what it was he meant. "What am I to you? Some joke?" His voice actually cracked as he shoved himself away from me, hanging his head as he leant back against the door. He choked suddenly giving a weird sort of sob as he ran his fingers over his face.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, the anger suddenly lost as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. How could this affect him so badly? It wasn't as if I was actually trying to crack onto him. I didn't understand. I thought I was the one who was supposed to be feeling upset and rejected. Yet he was choking up and acting as if he was the one suffering because of it. "I can't help it." I offered quietly.
He lifted one hand to cover his face, rubbing his eyes and moaning slightly. The despair suddenly evident in his voice made my chest constrict and I was horrified to find tears springing into my eyes.
"But you can."
I yelled at him.
"What the Hell do you want me to do Yuy? Not be me? Not be....?" Shit, I couldn't even say the word. "I was fricken drunk for chrissake. I haven't even got a bloody clue what I did. I don't know why you suddenly don't want me near you. I don't know why your so friggen upset. You're worse than a yo yo with your friggen emotions. Can't you just accept facts and get over yourself? You can't really keep blaming me for something without telling me what the hell I did. Can't..."
"You want to know what you did?" He looked up at me with a pained sort of amusement. "You basically tore my heart out. It's not enough that I....I'm..." he shook his head looking up at me incredulously. "You're my best friend Duo, I thought you'd....you'd at least....but you...." He threaded his fingers into his hair and I swear to Shinigami that he let out a small whine.
"At least what Heero?" My anger was waning again at seeing him so distraught. "I'm not about to chase you like Relena. What do you want me to do?"
"Oh fuck it Duo. I just want you to understand."
"Understand WHAT?" Bloody hell. "What it's like for you to have your gay best friend crack onto you?" That's real rich.
I turned away as my eyes began prickling and I blinked furiously to prevent any of the excess water building up in my eyes from dribbling down my cheeks. So that was it. Life was all about him.
"You kissed Hilde." What was that supposed to be? Some sort of last ditch effort to convince me not to be gay.
"I was drunk as. You've got to expect mistakes like that when you consume excess amounts of alcohol." I could feel the liquid running down the inside of my nose and I tipped my head back a little, looking up at the ceiling so I didn't have to sniffle. That was the last thing I needed. To let Heero Yuy know I was about to cry. "Look man, if you can't stand the fact that I'm gay and in love with you, if you don't want to bother with me, I'll get over it, ok. Maybe I'd just better leave until I do."
That did it. The thought of not having Heero there at all was worse than the way I'd felt having him with Relena. My eyes ached from trying to hold the tears back, but my efforts turned out to be in vain as they escaped anyway, trickling down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes and decided sniffling was better than wiping my nose across my sleeve. I wished there was enough room for my to squat down and curl into a ball so I didn't have to break down with Heero watching me, but he wasn't going anywhere so I'd just have to deal with it and suppress it as much as possible.
Bloody Heero.
I jerked backwards, attempting to push him away as I felt him grip the front of my shirt with one hand, but he wrapped his other arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his chest, resting his chin against my neck.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
I struggled to get away but he slid his hand round my waist and held me tighter, not loosening his grip until I stopped moving and made some semblance of hugging him back.
Why did he have to go and do that?
I didn't want him to hold me. I didn't want him to comfort me. I just wanted him to....disappear. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so bad.
"I told you last night Duo," his low voice vibrated through my chest and I turned my head trying to see his face. "You mean a lot to me and...."
I sighed, letting my eyes trail down the back of his neck as I finally decided I may as well relax and embrace him while he tried to actually say what he wanted to say. It felt so good to be so close to him. To have his warm arms wrapped around me and feel him breathing. To have his smell surrounding me even if that particular perquisite was slightly marred by the smell of old glue. I could at least take advantage of the situation while it was available even if it was going to make it twice as hard to get him out of my mind in the long run.
"I don't want you to go away because...I...Duo I..."
"Yeah, well, situations change. Look at the way you're treating Relena at the moment, yet on Saturday you were shagging her."
I suddenly realised it might be a bad idea to broach that topic whilst in close quarters, very close quarters, with Heero, as I felt his arms stiffen around me and his head jerk up. I didn't get much of a chance to think about it though as there was a scramble outside the cupboard, an incredulously shouted "Onna!" then the door was ripped open and we were falling for all of two seconds before it was slammed shut again, the harsh light having imprinted the image of a very incredulous and bright red Relena onto my retinas.
"I did NOT have sex with Heero!!" She yelled indignantly, her voice slightly muffled because of the wood re-separating us. "I've been trying, for a whole blasted week, to...." She trailed off to furiously mutter something to whoever else was out there with her and I took the moment to lean back and look at Heero in confusion.
"You didn't?"
He looked at me as if I were batty. "No!"
Lost for words, I blurted out the first thing that traipsed across my mind. "Are you sure?" How dumb. The only way he wouldn't be sure would be if he were drunk and he definitely wasn't that far gone when Relena dragged him off down the hall. It takes more than a couple of bears to shake Heero's perfect memory askew.
He frowned at me for a second before his face fell into an evil smirk and he pulled me close again looking me directly in the eyes. "Very." He whispered, his intense gaze traveling down my nose, over my cheeks, and across my lips before his eyes rose to meet mine again. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he glanced away and rested his mouth against my shoulder instead.
I didn't know what was up with him. First he'd been trying to keep me as far away as was humanely possible whilst in a tiny school supply cupboard. Now he was holding me as if there was no bloody way in hell he was going to let me go.
It was getting to be too much for my poor little brain, but most of the information I needed to sort this entire thing out seemed to be contained in that short space of time occupied by that thrice damned party.
He said he didn't want me to leave, but he'd left me. I needed to know why. Did I somehow come to the same conclusion that had so completely floored me last night and decide telling him was a good idea? Did I tell him in a way that wasn't quite appropriate, like...I don't know, groping him or kissing him? If I did, bugger, I missed it.
Why dammit?
"Why didn't you take me home on Saturday night?" I cleared my throat, trying to get my voice back to normal and gain some semblance of control over myself.
I could feel his hand begin tracing small circles over my lower back as he took a deep breath and drew back a little to look at me. "I thought you hated me."
How in the bloody blazes....
"Why on Earth would you think that?!" I asked incredulously.
He gave a short snort and glanced at me out the corner of his eye. "You told me to go fuck Relena. I thought that was pretty plain speaking after...."
I waited for him to say something more, but he looked away again biting his lip and looking for all the world as if he were trying not to grin. "What's the deal, I've told you that before." Maybe not quite so directly, but still.
I gave him a small nudge and his features settled into a frown before he looked at me again his eyes glittering mischievously. "Yes, but it's not everyday that you confess your love for someone in the middle of a crowded lounge room."
"What?" I gripped his shirt in my hands and stared at him, startled. What was he saying? He didn't mean....? Did he? He wasn't saying...
The corner of his mouth twitched in a tiny smirk as he drew closer, resting his lips lightly against my cheek before dragging them across the side of my face until his warm, moist breath was rushing against the side of my neck and playing with my hair.
I shivered as he whispered the words directly into my ear. "I'm gay, Duo, and I love you."
Blast Relena.
She couldn't wait until Quatre managed to explain himself, could she.
Tearing across the Quad and leaping up the steps, I began dodging the students littering the hallway in an attempt to get as far away from Relena as possible. I could not handle having to deal with her accusations at the moment, even if they were justified. I already knew I'd wrecked her chances with Heero and I admit it would've been nice to know exactly how I did that, but I was having enough problems trying to figure out how to fix my own friendship with him without having to deal with hers as well.
Skidding around the corner, I ducked past Wu Fei and Sally only to come face to face with Heero, almost knocking him to the ground. My stomach jolted as he grabbed my shoulder to steady me and I quickly regained my footing, flashing him a grin. He seemed to freeze for a second, then he nervously pushed me away and turned to continue walking up the hall.
I slowly sank against the cupboard beside me and lowered my eyes so I didn't have to watch him leave, then I carefully opened the door and slipped inside the tiny space, hoping no one would miss me and I could sulk in peace.
I wasn't stupid. I knew it'd never go back to how it was before despite the fact we'd tried damn hard to do so last night. It's just, pretending the problem doesn't exist never made it go any away faster and I was afraid Heero wasn't willing to put in the effort to fix it even though it was entirely my fault. I didn't want him to ignore it. I didn't want him to give up on me. I didn't want him walk away.
I wanted....him.
I just wasn't sure he if he was willing to deal with that.
Images from the night before began parading around my head trying to convince me that he would forgive me eventually. Unfortunately they tried to back up their argument with the part where Heero's weight was pressing me into the floor, his fingers were curled amongst the hair around my ear and his face was mere inches from my nose bearing that slightly baffled expression he'd had seconds before he'd realised his fucking best friend was about to kiss him.
I moaned against the woodwork wondering just how long I'd been ignoring myself for, but my mourning was cut short as a very distinctive pair of shoes broke the silence of the corridor and came to a standstill directly outside my little retreat.
Relena. Damnit.
"Heerooooo, how are you?"
I cursed whoever made the decision to confine sticky tape storage to the classrooms and was about to inform her that Heero wasn't in this cupboard and she might like to try somewhere on the second floor, when the door was suddenly ripped open and someone else was shoved inside, slamming me against the back shelves.
I squawked as a knee hit me in the crotch and the sensation of having my belly button ripped out my spine as my gonads retreated into my abdomen successfully confined my thinking capabilities to that specific area between my legs.
"Right you two." Relena's voice was muffled by the door, "I believe you have something to discuss."
As I attempted to get a hand between us to cradle my poor, abused genitalia, I was vaguely aware of Heero struggling to keep me standing. One hand clutched the shirt beneath my arm, the other held me against his chest as he muttered apologies interchanged with profanities concerning bloody interfering mindless females.
I buried my nose in his neck and groaned loudly, slinging one arm around his waist for support and digging my fingers into his back.
Oh man Relena. You sure know how to make a guy pay for his mistakes. I stifled a whimper and groaned some more.
Heero suddenly turned very still and the muscles of his neck moved against my face as he swallowed and shifted away from me slightly. It took me a few extra seconds to think through pain and figure out what was going on, then the realization hit me.
Without thinking, I shoved myself away from him.
"Sorry Heero, just....sorry....I wasn't...I'm not...." I buried my face in my hands and pressed myself back into the shelves holding my breath. God, I was so stupid. How could I do that to him? Was I trying to drive him off? Was I trying to get the crap beaten out of me? I cringed into the corner just wondering how angry he'd be.
From what I remember of the party, he'd definitely done his nut. All I had from then were images of him yelling, his blue eyes flashing as he shouted and pushed me away. But if last night was anything to go on, maybe he wouldn't take it that bad. I mean, he appeared to have been trying to ignore it a moment ago, maybe if he knew I didn't mean it.....if I just explained....
Effing.....
Why couldn't everything just go back to normal? Why couldn't he just forget? Did every single bloody innocent moment from now on need to be treated with suspicion?
Would I have to explain it every single time?
Letting my hands drop away from my face, I suddenly noticed that he was watching me. I looked up, catching only a glimpse of his wide blue eyes staring straight at me, before he quickly turned away, fiddling with the edge of his shirt.
I tried not to let the rejection hurt and summoned a slight wisp of courage to try and say what I wanted to say. If I wanted to keep him as a friend, as a good friend, I couldn't let him think I was trying for something every time I touched him, and since we were forcibly trapped in a cupboard and all, at least he wouldn't be able to get away until I'd finished.
"Heero I...."
"It's ok." I looked at him in surprise. There didn't appear to be anything wrong, but his voice....it sounded like he was....I looked closer, peering at him in the dim light and he twisted his head away further under my scrutiny, causing the light leaking through the gaps around the door to flash brightly off his eyes.
I pulled back in amazement. What on earth was he so upset for?
Reacting instinctively, I reached out to comfort him but I realised my mistake when he drew away from me and I quickly retreated back to my side of the cupboard.
I hated seeing him hurt. It made it particularly heart wrenching this time because he was actually having difficulty hiding it. Heero Yuy does not show pain. Heero Yuy does not allow people to see any form of weakness.
At this very moment Heero Yuy was battling with something. He was obviously in pain, and he was showing it despite his best efforts.
I was his best friend dammit. He had to let me in.
I reached out, only to have my wrist caught in his hand. "Don't fucking touch me!!" he hissed, throwing my arm back at me, an expression of loathing curling across his face. He shuddered and looked for a second as if he was going to be sick. "Open the door Relena!"
I couldn't believe it.
A "No." came from the outside the cupboard.
"Open it!!"
"No."
How could he?
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
It was like everything meant nothing.
"NO!"
He could support Quatre and Trowa. He had no problem with them, but he turns away from his best friend?
"YES!"
What kind of...? Who would...?
There was no way I going to take that. How dare he.
I grabbed his arm to get his attention and make him look at me instead of yelling at Relena only to have him slam his fist into stomach and push me away again.
"What the Hell is your problem, Yuy?" I tried to yell it but all that came out of me was a choked whisper so I punctuated it by shoving him against the cupboard door instead.
The ferocity with which he turned on me nearly made me cower. He grabbed both my shoulders, holding me against the shelves and got right in my face.
"You are!" He hissed furiously. "You say things you don't mean. You do things. You goad me." He shook his head as if he couldn't find the words to say what it was he meant. "What am I to you? Some joke?" His voice actually cracked as he shoved himself away from me, hanging his head as he leant back against the door. He choked suddenly giving a weird sort of sob as he ran his fingers over his face.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, the anger suddenly lost as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. How could this affect him so badly? It wasn't as if I was actually trying to crack onto him. I didn't understand. I thought I was the one who was supposed to be feeling upset and rejected. Yet he was choking up and acting as if he was the one suffering because of it. "I can't help it." I offered quietly.
He lifted one hand to cover his face, rubbing his eyes and moaning slightly. The despair suddenly evident in his voice made my chest constrict and I was horrified to find tears springing into my eyes.
"But you can."
I yelled at him.
"What the Hell do you want me to do Yuy? Not be me? Not be....?" Shit, I couldn't even say the word. "I was fricken drunk for chrissake. I haven't even got a bloody clue what I did. I don't know why you suddenly don't want me near you. I don't know why your so friggen upset. You're worse than a yo yo with your friggen emotions. Can't you just accept facts and get over yourself? You can't really keep blaming me for something without telling me what the hell I did. Can't..."
"You want to know what you did?" He looked up at me with a pained sort of amusement. "You basically tore my heart out. It's not enough that I....I'm..." he shook his head looking up at me incredulously. "You're my best friend Duo, I thought you'd....you'd at least....but you...." He threaded his fingers into his hair and I swear to Shinigami that he let out a small whine.
"At least what Heero?" My anger was waning again at seeing him so distraught. "I'm not about to chase you like Relena. What do you want me to do?"
"Oh fuck it Duo. I just want you to understand."
"Understand WHAT?" Bloody hell. "What it's like for you to have your gay best friend crack onto you?" That's real rich.
I turned away as my eyes began prickling and I blinked furiously to prevent any of the excess water building up in my eyes from dribbling down my cheeks. So that was it. Life was all about him.
"You kissed Hilde." What was that supposed to be? Some sort of last ditch effort to convince me not to be gay.
"I was drunk as. You've got to expect mistakes like that when you consume excess amounts of alcohol." I could feel the liquid running down the inside of my nose and I tipped my head back a little, looking up at the ceiling so I didn't have to sniffle. That was the last thing I needed. To let Heero Yuy know I was about to cry. "Look man, if you can't stand the fact that I'm gay and in love with you, if you don't want to bother with me, I'll get over it, ok. Maybe I'd just better leave until I do."
That did it. The thought of not having Heero there at all was worse than the way I'd felt having him with Relena. My eyes ached from trying to hold the tears back, but my efforts turned out to be in vain as they escaped anyway, trickling down my cheeks.
I closed my eyes and decided sniffling was better than wiping my nose across my sleeve. I wished there was enough room for my to squat down and curl into a ball so I didn't have to break down with Heero watching me, but he wasn't going anywhere so I'd just have to deal with it and suppress it as much as possible.
Bloody Heero.
I jerked backwards, attempting to push him away as I felt him grip the front of my shirt with one hand, but he wrapped his other arm around my shoulder and pulled me against his chest, resting his chin against my neck.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
I struggled to get away but he slid his hand round my waist and held me tighter, not loosening his grip until I stopped moving and made some semblance of hugging him back.
Why did he have to go and do that?
I didn't want him to hold me. I didn't want him to comfort me. I just wanted him to....disappear. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so bad.
"I told you last night Duo," his low voice vibrated through my chest and I turned my head trying to see his face. "You mean a lot to me and...."
I sighed, letting my eyes trail down the back of his neck as I finally decided I may as well relax and embrace him while he tried to actually say what he wanted to say. It felt so good to be so close to him. To have his warm arms wrapped around me and feel him breathing. To have his smell surrounding me even if that particular perquisite was slightly marred by the smell of old glue. I could at least take advantage of the situation while it was available even if it was going to make it twice as hard to get him out of my mind in the long run.
"I don't want you to go away because...I...Duo I..."
"Yeah, well, situations change. Look at the way you're treating Relena at the moment, yet on Saturday you were shagging her."
I suddenly realised it might be a bad idea to broach that topic whilst in close quarters, very close quarters, with Heero, as I felt his arms stiffen around me and his head jerk up. I didn't get much of a chance to think about it though as there was a scramble outside the cupboard, an incredulously shouted "Onna!" then the door was ripped open and we were falling for all of two seconds before it was slammed shut again, the harsh light having imprinted the image of a very incredulous and bright red Relena onto my retinas.
"I did NOT have sex with Heero!!" She yelled indignantly, her voice slightly muffled because of the wood re-separating us. "I've been trying, for a whole blasted week, to...." She trailed off to furiously mutter something to whoever else was out there with her and I took the moment to lean back and look at Heero in confusion.
"You didn't?"
He looked at me as if I were batty. "No!"
Lost for words, I blurted out the first thing that traipsed across my mind. "Are you sure?" How dumb. The only way he wouldn't be sure would be if he were drunk and he definitely wasn't that far gone when Relena dragged him off down the hall. It takes more than a couple of bears to shake Heero's perfect memory askew.
He frowned at me for a second before his face fell into an evil smirk and he pulled me close again looking me directly in the eyes. "Very." He whispered, his intense gaze traveling down my nose, over my cheeks, and across my lips before his eyes rose to meet mine again. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he glanced away and rested his mouth against my shoulder instead.
I didn't know what was up with him. First he'd been trying to keep me as far away as was humanely possible whilst in a tiny school supply cupboard. Now he was holding me as if there was no bloody way in hell he was going to let me go.
It was getting to be too much for my poor little brain, but most of the information I needed to sort this entire thing out seemed to be contained in that short space of time occupied by that thrice damned party.
He said he didn't want me to leave, but he'd left me. I needed to know why. Did I somehow come to the same conclusion that had so completely floored me last night and decide telling him was a good idea? Did I tell him in a way that wasn't quite appropriate, like...I don't know, groping him or kissing him? If I did, bugger, I missed it.
Why dammit?
"Why didn't you take me home on Saturday night?" I cleared my throat, trying to get my voice back to normal and gain some semblance of control over myself.
I could feel his hand begin tracing small circles over my lower back as he took a deep breath and drew back a little to look at me. "I thought you hated me."
How in the bloody blazes....
"Why on Earth would you think that?!" I asked incredulously.
He gave a short snort and glanced at me out the corner of his eye. "You told me to go fuck Relena. I thought that was pretty plain speaking after...."
I waited for him to say something more, but he looked away again biting his lip and looking for all the world as if he were trying not to grin. "What's the deal, I've told you that before." Maybe not quite so directly, but still.
I gave him a small nudge and his features settled into a frown before he looked at me again his eyes glittering mischievously. "Yes, but it's not everyday that you confess your love for someone in the middle of a crowded lounge room."
"What?" I gripped his shirt in my hands and stared at him, startled. What was he saying? He didn't mean....? Did he? He wasn't saying...
The corner of his mouth twitched in a tiny smirk as he drew closer, resting his lips lightly against my cheek before dragging them across the side of my face until his warm, moist breath was rushing against the side of my neck and playing with my hair.
I shivered as he whispered the words directly into my ear. "I'm gay, Duo, and I love you."