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Chapter four!!!!
Thanks for the reviews Tina, Dracomine, bloodbunny, Pirate Bitch Nut, and severus's-bane!

Pirate Bitch Nut-heh, I kinda knew someone was going to notice how crappy the last chapter was. I didn't edit it fully and this was an old story, I wrote before my other fics. (stupid edit thing! It won't make me make smiley faces!!!!)

WAAAAAA!!!!! I WAS BANNED UNTIL TODAY!!!!!! that's why I took so long with this chapter.....................it sux to be banned

'Kay I kinda screwed up the schedule for Quidditch games (not to mention the teammates) so it'll be coming in late (me is guessing ;))

Chapter Four: Weak and Suicidal

-

As days passed by into the winter. The meetings with Professor Vector were almost meaningless, Harry never did anything but count the lines on the desk, and now that people were watching him closely it was almost impossible to try and cut himself again.

Quidditch practices went by normally, the first match was getting closer, it would be a few days before the Christmas vacation.

He stopped eating again; Ron was slowly beginning to notice how weak he was getting. "Harry eat," Ron said the day of the Quidditch match.

Harry didn't answer, it seemed so easy to torture himself like this, it was like he couldn't feel the pain in his body.

His plate was empty, he wasn't hungry, he never was hungry these days.

Ron and Hermione watched him worriedly. All they needed was for him to speak, to tell him why he was like this. This was torturing them, probably even more than Harry.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team had some new faces, Ginny, Ron, and Harry were still in the team, Ginny was chaser, Ron was keeper, Harry was seeker, Neville surprisingly made the team and became beater along with Seamus, the other two chasers were Hermione (shockingly), and Dean.

The whole team left the Great Hall a few minutes later and walked on to the locker room where they got dressed for the game.

They made a quick promise not to let anything happen to Harry since he was so weak, he didn't know about the promise though.

Walking out onto the field they noticed the crowd looked half excited and half curious. Apparently Draco was passing rumors again, saying Harry was insane.

The Slytherin team walked on to the field and faced their opponent.

"Alright, captains shake hands," said Madam Hooch. Ron and Draco shook hands quickly, "mount your brooms," Hooch said sharply. They all did, facing their enemy fiercely, except Harry, he was neutral.

"Madam Hooch releases the balls," said Parvati Patil to the crowd, "and the game begins!" she shouted as the players shot up in the air.

Ron and Blaise quickly went to guard the goalposts. Harry and Draco went to search for the snitch. Ginny, Hermione and Dean passed the quaffel to each other as Pansy, Millicent, and Graham blocked them and stole the quaffel away.

Something strange was happening in the game, the crowd noticed.

Every time a bludger came around Crabbe and Goyle's direction they hit it towards Harry, but Neville and Seamus knocked it away to a very far distance. Ginny, Hermione and Dean kept a close watch on Harry as they passed the quaffel to each other, but that only made it easier for the other chasers to take the quaffel away.

Slytherin was getting the upper hand so Hermione, Ginny and Dean had to concentrate harder on what they were doing. They quickly scored fifty points.

Harry spotted the snitch at the bottom of the Slytherin goal posts. He pushed his Firebolt as fast as he could to it; Draco saw it too and went after it as well.

Hermione caught the quaffel that Ginny passed to her and quickly scored on the middle goal gaining ten points.

"Gryffindor scores! Tying with Slytherin, sixty to sixty!" shouted Parvati.

Ron concentrated harder, guarding the goalposts as if it was his life, he managed to save at least ten shots Pansy and Millicent were sending him.

Seamus and Neville did their best to hit the bludgers away from Harry as far as possible and instead hit it to Draco.

Vise versa with Crabbe and Goyle.

Seamus hit the bludger away from the goalpost and tried to hit Draco so he would lose sight of the snitch, Goyle hit the bludger away and tried to hit Harry but he hit the wrong way and nearly hit Crabbe.

Draco was behind Harry, stretching out his hand to grab the end of Harry's broom so he'd slow down.

Crabbe hit the bludger away and aimed it to Harry but soon paled when he realized that the bludger would hit Draco as well.

"DRACO MOVE YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIT!" shouted Blaise when he noticed what was happening.

"What?" Draco looked behind him and gasped when he saw the bludger heading straight his way, Crabbe and Goyle rushing toward it, trying to get it away.

"YOU IDIOTS!" he yelled as he tried to get his broom to go faster to the snitch.

Harry's sight began to go in and out of focus; he reached out to grab the snitch that was so close to him. His hearing became muffled as well; he could faintly hear Draco shouting behind him.

The Slytherin was in line with Harry, both of their arms stretched out towards the snitch.

They each grabbed one wing of the snitch.

Harry fell into darkness as well as Draco after getting hit in the head by the bludger.

---

Harry slowly woke up in the hospital wing, at first he thought he was blind but he realized that it was night.

The bed across from his was also occupied.

There was a long bandage covering the back of his head, it also covered his eyes.

Harry suddenly remembered about the match and wondered who had won. The last he remembered before falling unconscious was that he and Draco had caught the snitch at the same time.

Draco stirred then froze.

"Hm?" he moved his head around then winced at the pain on the back of his head, "HOLY SHIT! I'M BLIND! WHERE AM I!? SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!"

Pomfrey hurried out of her room in her pajamas looking pissed off. "Mr. Malfoy calm down you're not blind."

"Who? What are you talking about? Who's Mr. Malfoy?"

"I believe you are. Go back to sleep you need rest."

"Who are you? Why can't I see anything?" he frantically held his hands out trying to feel around.

Pomfrey blinked then frowned. "Now look here Malfoy, there's nothing wrong with you, you're fine now stop pretending to have amnesia."

"What?" Draco turned to the voice, "amnesia? What's that? And who ARE you?" he looked worried.

It dawned on Harry that Draco wasn't playing around. His memories were gone. Pomfrey realized this too.

"Oh dear," she almost breathed, she suddenly noticed Harry awake and sitting up, "Potter go back to sleep."

"Who's Potter?"

"I'll tell you everything tomorrow, you have to rest now, you're head still needs to heal," Pomfrey gently pushed Draco back; he tried to relax and sleep.

Sighing, Pomfrey went back to her room.

Once the door closed Malfoy quickly sat up. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

Harry didn't answer.

Draco started to panic again; he pushed the covers closer to him. Harry sighed quietly. He got out of bed and walked to the fearful Draco.

Draco let out a yelp when he felt a hand reach his face. Harry slowly lifted the bandage, making sure it wasn't moved at the back.

Draco blinked; he looked up and saw Harry. "Are you Potter?"

Harry nodded and walked back to his own bed, he didn't want to make any connection with Draco, even if he had amnesia his memories would return.

"You look familiar."

Harry didn't reply, he sat on his bed, hugged his knees and stared at the end of his bed, Draco's memories were coming back to him, that was a short time to lose a memory.

"You don't talk?"

Harry shook his head.

"Why?"

He shrugged.

"Well, ok then. You really do look familiar."

Harry didn't look at him; he kept staring at the end of his bed.

"I guess it's because of your eyes."

He looked up at him in surprise, he expected him to say something about his scar like many others have.

Draco stared at his eyes. "Have we met before? I definitely feel we have."

Harry nodded.

"I wish I could remember. Stupid amnesia, whatever the hell that is, can you at least write to me how we met?"

Sighing quietly Harry looked around. He saw a piece of parchment on the desk next him, all he needed was a quill.

He quietly sneaked in Pomfrey's office and took her ink and quill.

He wrote on the parchment how they first met then added that they were enemies.

Draco read and frowned. "Really? Why?"

Harry wrote down about his scar, his popularity, his friends and turning down Draco's friendship the second time they met.

"So why'd you turn it down?"

He wrote down the answer.

"I was a snob? And I hated people who aren't purebloods? What do you mean by that?"

Harry wrote down a small explanation.

"Wow, I'm a rotten person. How come no one's stopped me?"

That was a good question Harry realized. He wrote down the opinions of everyone.

"Oh. Well why didn't YOU stop me?"

Harry answered it.

"When I get my memories back you'd better get me in the right," frowned Draco. Harry blinked. That sounded so strange coming out from Draco, "won't you?"

Harry nodded slowly, but he knew he'd never do it, the Draco Malfoy he knew would never pay attention to him.

"Great!" smiled Draco. Another shock for Harry, after seeing Draco sneer and smirk, he thought a smile would never exist on Draco's face, now it did, and it fit him well, "now tell me about yourself-or write it," he laughed quietly, another thing that shocked Harry.

Figuring it was safe to tell this Draco about himself Harry wrote down a few things, what he liked, what he didn't like, and what he was up against.

"Voldemort? That's a stupid name, it's creepy and stupid. Why does he want to kill you?"

Harry didn't answer.

"Ok then. What else is there about you?"

He didn't want to get too personal; he didn't know what else to write.

"Was there anything good that I've done to you?"

Harry wrote yes.

"What did I do?"

Harry answered almost slowly.

"I saved your life? What did I do?"

Harry wrote the answer, it was funny, Draco seemed to be a better therapist than Professor Vector.

As Draco read the long answer he slowly began to frown. "You, you cut yourself? Why?"

Harry noticed he was losing space in the parchment to he turned it over and wrote the answer.

"Pleasure? You must be crazy, unless you don't even feel pain in your body."

Harry nodded.

"And you want to do it again?"

Harry nodded.

"Why? Aren't your friends worried about you?"

He nodded.

"Then why won't you stop? Are you addicted?"

He nodded again.

"I'm sorry, are you getting help?"

Another nod.

"I hope you get cured, I mean if my old self saved you then he's probably hoping for the same thing."

Harry went back to his own bed, his tired body feeling weak already.

"You look really skinny, do you ever eat?"

Harry shrugged and shook his head.

"That's horrible. Why do you torture yourself so much?

Harry didn't answer. Just thinking about the answer made his eyes water.

"I'm sorry if it's someone you knew who's dead, but hurting yourself won't bring them back, you'll just worry your friends even more, plus there's that Voldy guy who wants to take over the world."

Harry didn't answer.

"So, how is it that you escaped this Voldemort when you were a baby while you say so many others have died by him? How did you escape with just a scar?."

Harry snapped up. Those words sounded so similar to what the memory of Voldemort's sixteen year old self had said.

Draco's grey eyes were now a menacing blood red, a grin spread through his face.

His scar seared with pain. He could feel Voldemort walk closer to him, transforming from Draco to himself............

---

Harry shot up panting, cold sweat running down his face. Looking around, he realized he was in the hospital wing, a bunch of get well presents were on his night table beside him.

"Nightmare, Potter?"

Harry looked up and saw Draco standing by the end of his bed, his wand pointed at him, there was a bandage at the back of his head but Harry couldn't really see it.

He looked at Draco straight in the eye. If he was serious about killing him, then he couldn't wait to be in the other side with the people he desired to be with.

"You're not afraid?"

Harry didn't answer; he wanted his death so badly.

"Just like you, always facing things like a brave idiot," sneered Draco.

Harry didn't react, he suddenly realized how much Draco looked like his father, cold, smug, snotty and murderous.

Then Draco saw it. The wanting of death in Harry's eyes, there was no fear, just emptiness, an endless pit of emptiness.

"You really are insane," whispered Draco, his grip on his wand loosening in his shock.

Harry didn't care anymore, all he wanted now was death.

Draco frowned. "Are you trying to trick me?"

Harry didn't answer, he saw a pair of scissors lying on the night table beside the bed behind Draco, he suddenly felt the need to cut himself with its sharp tip, to bleed and feel complete again.

He stood up and walked past Draco, grabbed the scissors and dragged the tip deep into the skin on his arm, he felt good again, he was in a different world, a world of bliss.

Draco felt like throwing up, the sight of seeing Harry cutting himself was disgusting.

He quickly grabbed the scissors away from him. "Stop it! You're gonna make me vomit!"

Harry looked up at him with the same empty eyes. Draco turned away and threw the scissors in the trash can.

He felt weak again, exhausted and weaker than he ever was. He lay back in the bed he was sitting on, staring off into space.

"Forget it, why the hell should I try to kill you when you're already doing the job for me," muttered Draco as he watched Harry's weak form, "look at you, you're weak, you cut yourself, you don't eat, Voldemort might as well take over already."

He meant to get Harry angry but it didn't work, Harry didn't do anything, his arm was bleeding so freely that the blood dripped to the floor making a very tiny puddle.

Draco made a disgusted face and turned away, he ran to the bathroom and threw up.

"What on earth is going on?" Madam Pomfrey hurried inside and gasped when she saw the bleeding Harry and quickly healed his arm.

Draco walked out of the bathroom wiping his mouth a few minutes after she started healing Harry.

"Oh of course, Scarhead always gets help whenever he's in trouble," he said nastily.

"Mr. Malfoy! Go back to bed, you shouldn't be up."

"I was busy throwing up," Draco sneered, "besides, can't you see Potter's trying to kill himself? Why are you healing him he'll just do it again."

"It's my job.................since you know so much about this why don't you keep an eye on him."

"ME!? No way, I'm not gonna watch over Potter, he's got enough 'guardians' as it is."

"Mr. Malfoy if you hadn't brought him here that night before Halloween Potter would be dead, as far as I see it, he's in dept to you."

"I don't care it still won't make me watch over Harry Bloody Potter!"

"How did he cut himself?"

"He used a pair of scissors."

"Where are they?"

"I threw them in the trash," he suddenly realized what he did and paled.

"See? You DO care about Potter, even though you don't show it."

"Listen, I don't know why I keep doing these things but I still won't watch over Potter, I'm not a babysitter."

"We'll discuss this in the morning, right now you need rest, you stay awake and you'll get amnesia."

She left him alone.

Draco glared at Harry but realized he was asleep.

"Fucking idiot," he muttered before he went to sleep.

If there's any mistakes or anything on this chappy, soz --;

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