but...I GOT 100 REVIEWS! GO ME! Thanks to everyone who reviewed for helping me get this many! I feel so proud...
hyliansage: APUS was evil. Our DBQ was on the French and Indian War, which we never covered in class .
And as for showing Defiance to my teacher, well...listen to my advice and never show your stories to your teacher. Yes, she liked my story, but having to talk about it with her is really embarrassing.
Lord Slasher: Thanks for your review! But was the description of your muses really necessary?
The Story Master 125: Support A? Well...why don't you read and find out? ;)
FireEdge: Nothing wrong with reviewing twice, after all, it DOES make my review count go up :P. As for support A, read and see.
Kensou freak: The death scene is close at hand now...but I don't know whether that's good or bad. It's so sad...
Jeanie: The lines I used were mostly from Defiance, but I added the lines where Kenneth accused Ninian of causing the "suffering of men." But...I have another Defiance connection in this chapter...and it's something that wasn't in the original story...
On a side note, congratulations on being my hundredth reviewer!
AmbieChan: You think Nintendo should hire me? O.o Wow...I'm flattered. Thanks!
rawn: Well...I'm trying to keep Ninian as in-character as I can, and I don't think she could "lighten up" as you suggest. And keep in mind she doesn't know Eliwood is going to kill Nergal...
Morning Mist: That's two people who want Nintendo to hire me...I didn't think I was really that good...thanks!
darkstarredshadowwolf: Well, while I do dislike lemons, I don't have anything against shonen-ai. It's the same with straight pairings, really: if the pairing makes sense, or it is written and explained well enough if it doesn't, then it's fine by me. Sadly though, many (mostly female) authors seem to love throwing two guys together at random. There's nothing wrong with shonen-ai, it's just that many shonen-ai pairings are not explained well enough in their stories.
Revelations
I never want to see you so sad...
How she wanted to fulfill Eliwood's wish. And yet...
The hours and days following that incident were quite possibly the worst Ninian had ever experienced in her life. Despite the fact that Eliwood now knew she had been deceiving him...he had stayed there with her, tried to calm her, to soothe her. Even as she continued to cry, he had just held her close...
And, despite his efforts, that had just made her feel worse. His sympathy, his caring, his—no, don't think about love—for her...all of it had just caused her respect for him to grow. And even though she knew that he could never love a girl who had caused so much death...she loved him anyway.
She wished that she had never gone through the Gate. Not only did she cause so many deaths...but more importantly, if she had never came to this world...then she would never have met Eliwood, never have fallen in love with him...never have felt this much despair.
Eliwood made several attempts over the following days to talk to Ninian, but she didn't want to see him. Every time she looked at him, she remembered her love for him...and then she remembered the bishop's words.
As the army approached Bern Castle and night began to fall, Eliwood, seeing her emotional distress, had asked Ninian to stay in camp as the rest of the group fought to prevent the prince's assassination. She had answered him with a simple nod...she could feel a sob forming in her throat whenever she looked at him, and she knew that if she spoke a single word she would start crying...
Ninian sat outside of her tent in camp, looking at the ground.
She sniffed. She knew this was best for her. In her emotional state, of course, it was best for her to stay out of battle. But that wasn't why she had agreed to stay behind.
She knew it would be hard. She didn't want to do it. But she had to...
She had to forget about Eliwood.
She loved him so much...but that love would bring her nothing but pain. So she had to forget about him...
A noise suddenly broke her thoughts. She listened...it sounded like a whimper, like a girl crying...
She looked towards the source of the noise, the front of the camp. After a few moments, a horse walked into view. She was rather surprised to see two people riding it...but as the horse got closer it became apparent that that was because one of the riders was unconscious, laying on the horse's back.
As the horse passed, she could see the two riders clearly. The one who was still conscious was an auburn-haired girl Ninian didn't recognize. She had deep green eyes, but they were marred by tears that were still streaming down her face, and they weren't focused on where the horse was going. Instead, they were focused on the unconscious rider—Ninian recognized him as Heath.
The girl let out a whimper again. She bent her head over Heath's body, as if her tears could wake him up.
"Please..." the girl sobbed. "Please don't die...you can't die..." She stared sadly at Heath's body for a few moments before continuing, "I never got to tell you..."
The girl bent down and placed a soft kiss on Heath's lips.
"Please don't die..." she repeated as the horse neared her tent. "I love you..."
As the girl strained to get Heath off the horse and into her tent, Ninian could see that the girl's fears were obviously unfounded—although Heath was unconscious, there were no injuries that Ninian could see, and his breathing was deep and normal. If the girl hadn't been so distressed, Ninian could easily have assumed that Heath was asleep.
Even as she thought that, however, and as much as she didn't want to...she felt a sudden surge of jealousy.
That girl was so lucky, and she didn't even know it, Ninian thought despairingly. She was in love with a man who actually could love her, not like herself and Eliwood...
She felt tears forming in her eyes.
It wasn't right...it wasn't fair...
Then she realized she was thinking about Eliwood.
More tears welled in her eyes, threatening to fall.
She wished she could forget about him...but she knew that she would never be able to.
She buried her face in her hands.
She stayed that way even as she heard the army returning. She heard a few muffled voices, footsteps...and then she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.
She was about to look up to see who it was when the person spoke.
"Ninian..."
It was Eliwood.
She kept her head down. No...she couldn't look at him...she would just start crying harder...
"Ninian..." Eliwood repeated. "Please, answer me..."
Ninian hesitated. She didn't want to see him...but part of her also didn't want to leave Eliwood as he was, without any answers at all...
She looked up. Although her tears blurred her vision, she could still make out Eliwood's face clearly. She sniffed and wiped her eyes, trying to hold her tears back.
Eliwood stooped so that his face was level with hers, pushing stray strands of her hair out of her face. "Ninian..." he repeated again. "Please, tell me what is bothering you..."
Eliwood had asked her to do so many times over the past few days...but she knew she couldn't tell him. She shook her head sadly. "I-I am sorry...I cannot..."
Eliwood nodded somberly, and Ninian felt his hand squeeze her shoulder comfortingly. "Well...Ninian..." he said, sounding like he could almost cry himself, "I do not know what is bothering you, but...I sincerely hope...that you will feel better soon..."
She nodded, her tears threatening to burst forth at any second. "Th-thank y-you," she replied, her voice breaking.
Eliwood kept his hand on her shoulder a moment longer before standing up and slowly, sadly walking away. She stared at his retreating figure until he disappeared into his tent. Then she buried her face in her hands once again.
She didn't stay that way for long, however. It had only been a few minutes before she heard another voice above her.
"Ninian." Florina.
Ninian had seen Florina giving her sympathetic looks over the past few days, but she had never approached her directly.
Ninian looked up.
"Ninian..." she asked, "what's the matter?"
She remained silent, trying to think of a way to respond. She couldn't tell Florina about this either...
"Ninian," Florina repeated after she received no response. "I've seen what has happened with you and Lord Eliwood...that you couldn't tell him what was bothering you."
Ninian thought Florina was going to continue, but when she did not, Ninian asked, "W-what of it?"
"Well..." She hesitated for a moment. "I was hoping that maybe if you can't tell him, you could tell me..."
Ninian knew that she could not. She shook her head.
"Ninian, please," Florina said with the tiniest bit of exasperation in her voice. "Telling someone will make you feel better...please, I can't stand to see you like this..."
Ninian shook her head again. "I-I apologize, Florina...I...I-I cannot tell...anyone..."
Florina placed her hand on Ninian's shoulder. "Yes you can, Ninian...I won't tell anyone..."
"No..." Ninian shook her head again, more vigorously this time. "Florina, I—"
Florina suddenly cut her off. "Ninian," she said, more forcefully. "Please. You have to tell someone." Her voice, normally light and airy, was now filled with a determination Ninian had never heard before. "I can't stand to see you like this...and I'm not leaving your side until I find out what's wrong. If you want to tell me privately, that's okay, but..." The determination in her voice suddenly vanished, and she suddenly looked rather unsure of herself. "Ninian, please..."
Ninian didn't want to tell her, but she could tell that Florina wasn't going to leave anytime soon.
"Will you at least talk to me?" Florina pleaded. She grabbed Ninian's arm, pulling her up. "We can talk about something else, if you like...it will get your mind off of whatever is troubling you..." She started to walk out of the camp, taking Ninian with her. "Come on..."
Ninian didn't resist, in fact, she welcomed the thought of talking with Florina. Anything to get her mind off of Eliwood...
The two of them didn't walk far from the camp, as it was pitch black. They simply stood in the field outside the camp until Florina sat down on the grass. She motioned for Ninian to sit with her, and she did so.
"So..." Florina said, "is there anything you want to talk about?"
Ninian couldn't think of anything. "Not really..." she replied. "What about you?"
"Well..." She looked up at the night sky in thought. "Come to think of it, you never told me...where in Ilia where you born? I was born in Edessa."
Ninian wasn't sure how to reply. She hadn't lived near any city...
"I...I am not sure," she replied.
Florina was confused. "Not sure? How can you not be sure of where you were born?"
"I...did not live there long," she replied, thankful that she was able to think of an excuse so quickly. "But I do know...it was near the tallest mountain in Ilia." That was one detail she could not forget about her old home.
"Oh," Florina replied, "you mean the mountain of the Ice Dragon, right?"
The name of the mountain hit Ninian like a brick wall. "I-...Ice Dragon?" she said, feeling a little dazed. She hoped Florina wouldn't notice.
She didn't, but she was somewhat confused. "Don't you know the story?" she asked.
Ninian shook her head.
"Oh," Florina replied. "Well, the stories say that a long time ago, there was an ice dragon that lived on the peak of that mountain."
Ninian tried her hardest to contain her surprise. An ice dragon that lived there a long time ago...could she be talking about her mother?
"The dragon was very kind," Florina went on, "and it helped the people of Ilia who had trouble living in the snow year-round. But a war broke out between dragons and humans all over the world, and since the kind ice dragon did not want to harm the humans, it left to a faraway place."
The Scouring, Ninian thought. She couldn't remember clearly that far back, but she remembered that she had been unable to understand why she was leaving her home. Maybe Florina was talking about her mother...
Florina chuckled to herself, reminiscing. "My sister first told me that story when I was a child to help me go to sleep," she explained wistfully. "I remember, when I was little, I wanted to meet the ice dragon so badly that I waited all night at the foot of the mountain. But it never came...then I caught a cold and my sister was so upset with me..." She laughed at the memory.
Ninian didn't understand. "But, Florina...weren't you afraid at all?" she asked.
Florina apparently didn't get what she was referring to. "Afraid of what?"
"The dragon," Ninian replied.
Florina shrugged. "Why should I be afraid of it?"
"Don't people think that dragons are terrifying beasts?" Ninian asked, remembering how Eliwood was fighting to keep dragons out of this world. "I mean, you know about the Scouring..." she went on. "How could the two species ever get along?"
She looked at the ground sadly, thinking of Eliwood. Yes, how could they...
"Why should being a different species matter?" Florina asked softly. "Look at me...my pegasus and I are different species, and we're the best of friends."
"Well, that's true..." Ninian responded.
"Pegasi are usually very shy around humans," Florina explained. "But I was kind of that way, too. At first, my pegasus and I were so afraid of each other, and it didn't go too well...but we began to play together, to understand each other...and that's how we became friends." She smiled at Ninian. "Even if two beings are shaped a little differently, that doesn't mean they can't get along..."
"I see..." She smiled, feeling newfound hope about Eliwood. "Yes, you must be right!" she said a little too enthusiastically. "I mean...we get along, don't we?"
Almost instantly, she recognized her slip. Despite what Florina had told her, she still hadn't really been planning to tell anyone about her identity...
She resisted the urge to cover her mouth with her hands and prayed that Florina wouldn't be able to recognize what she was.
But it was too easy, Ninian thought...the evidence was right in front of her. She had the power to open the Dragon's Gate, she was born near the mountain of the Ice Dragon, and after what she had just said...
"Well, yes..." Florina replied, looking at the ground in confusion. "But...you're not—" She stopped suddenly and looked up at Ninian, her eyes as wide as saucers. She pointed a finger at Ninian, her breath coming in short gasps.
"Ninian...y-...you're a...?" Florina stammered.
No...this wasn't right at all. Florina had just said that two species could get along, yet here she was, pointing at Ninian as if she expected her to turn into an ice dragon and freeze her on the spot.
Ninian realized sadly that what she had thought before had been right. Nobody could accept what she was, not even Florina...and if this was any indication, certainly not Eliwood...
Ninian stood up, her eyes welling with tears. "You can tell no one about this!" she commanded softly, her voice breaking.
Florina nodded ever so slightly, but she continued to stare at Ninian in openmouthed shock. It was hard to make out her face with only the light from the camp, but Ninian could tell it was filled with fear.
She burst out crying and ran back to camp and into her tent, leaving behind an unmoving Florina. She threw herself on her bed and began sobbing uncontrollably.
Florina...her best friend, the person she trusted the most...was now terrified of her because she knew she was a half-dragon.
It wasn't fair...
She lay on her bed for only a few moments, however, before she heard someone come into the tent. She didn't want to look up, so she wondered who it was...
The person placed a hand on Ninian's shoulder and spoke.
"Ninian..." It was Eliwood.
But after what had just happened, Ninian definitely didn't want to speak with Eliwood now...
She buried her head deeper into her pillow, trying to block out Eliwood's voice.
Eliwood, however, placed his hand under her shoulder and lifted her up until she was looking at him. She stared at him despairingly for a moment, then threw her arms around him, sobbing into his chest.
"L-Lord E-Eliwood..."
Eliwood placed his head against hers and put his arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly.
"Ninian..." he said after a few moments. "I can't take it any longer...I need to know what is bothering you..."
Ninian looked up, releasing Eliwood from her embrace. She shook her head. "I-I have b-been deceiving y-you..." she replied.
Eliwood nodded somberly. "Yes, you told me before. Ninian...you have been keeping a secret from us?"
She nodded. "Y-yes..."
"But you can't tell me what it is?"
"...Y-yes."
His next question was unexpected. "Why not?"
Because there's no way you could love me if you knew...
It took her several seconds to get herself under control. "I...I-I cannot..." she replied. "I-If y-you knew..."
Eliwood placed his hand on her shoulder. "Ninian..." he said softly. "Are you afraid that I...that all of us will look down upon you because of this...secret?"
She wasn't afraid...she knew. But she nodded anyway.
Eliwood nodded in acceptance, looking at the ground. "Very well," he said.
"W-what?" Ninian asked. She had expected him to at least ask her about her secret...
Eliwood looked up at her. "Ninian...I can see that this is something very hard for you to talk about. But if...if you ever feel able, please tell me."
She shook her head, the tears falling harder now. "B-but I cannot..." she sobbed. "I-if you knew..."
Eliwood squeezed her shoulder in reassurance. "Ninian," he said. "I don't care what your secret is."
"No..." He would care...she knew he would care. "Y-you would i-if..."
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Florina poke her head in the tent, with an urgent look on her face. When she saw Eliwood there with her, however, she gasped silently and quickly left.
Eliwood shook his head. "No, Ninian," he replied. "Your secret is unimportant to me. All I know is that it is causing you pain...and I can't stand to see that happen." When he received no response, he went on, sounding suddenly unsure of himself, "Do you know why?"
She shook her head.
"Ninian..." he said, placing his hand under her chin and lifting her face up so that she was looking directly at him.
"I...I love you."
Ninian couldn't think of anything to say. A whirl of emotions were flowing in her head.
Part of her was flooded with joy. Eliwood loved her...Eliwood loved her! She had known that for some time, but hearing him say it was completely different...it made it complete.
At the same time, however, this just made everything worse. After Florina's reaction to what she was...she knew that there was no way Eliwood could accept her identity.
"Ninian," Eliwood went on, "I don't care what your secret is...I will still feel the same. But anything that is troubling you...please, let me sweep it away. I would do anything to see you smile again..."
"Lord E-Eliwood..." she finally managed to choke out. "I...I..."
I love you too...
She wanted to tell him. Her mind screamed at her to tell him. But she couldn't. If he found out what she was, it would hurt him so much more...
"Ninian," Eliwood repeated, embracing her. "You are the first woman that has ever made me feel this way. Please...stay by my side forever."
He loved her...and yet he couldn't.
She loved him...and yet there was no way he would love her back...
"L-Lord Eliwood...I don't know what..." She returned the embrace and began to cry into his shoulder. "L-Lord Eliwood...Lord Eliwood..."
He stayed with her until morning.
So romantic...yet so sad...
On a completely unrelated note, is it just me, or are my chapters getting longer?
Please review!!!
-TheOneAndOnlyT