---------------------------
"If
you should stop for a while,
You will find me standing by,
Over here at the side of your life.
I'd like to hold you still,
Remind you of all you've
missed,
If you have a little time,
If you have a little time that is." - Do you have a little time? - Dido.
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MAC'S APARTMENT0830 HRS
Mac opened her eyes as the sweltering morning sun pushed it's way through her bedroom blinds and engulfed the room. Her hair stuck to the back of her neck and the doona and flannelette pyjamas that she was rapt in suddenly became unbearable. Hearing the faint crackle of bacon sizzling in a pan, she lifted her tired and limp body up into a sitting position and cursed herself for waking so late on a Saturday morning. Usual she would wake a 0500, head out for a run, return home at 0630 and start the day with a piece of toast, a coffee and the newspaper. Today was different, very different, and as she took a look around the room, she realised that the imprint of where Harm had slept the night before, was still fresh and warm from his body. Mac felt a sudden rise of colour in her cheeks as she remembered what had happened the night before. It had started off as an innocent night, where two extremely good friends and work buddies had blown off the week's steam with a night of takeaway and friendly banter. The way it ended – well that was a different story. Harm and Mac would either welcome last nights activities as a given or as a very significant mistake that would most probably change not only their personal lives, but professional ones as well. Taking it as a good sign that Harm was puddling around in her kitchen, Mac plastered a smile on her face, heaved her body from the bed and puddled bare foot into the kitchen to meet her partner.
Harm stood with his back to the hallway, flipping sizzling bacon and eggs and watching Mac's television at the same time. She felt a small wave of pride overcome her when she realised just how at ease Harm was in her kitchen. Feeling himself being watched, he smiled and flicked the TV off with the remote on the bench.
"Morning." He said happily, drawing all his attention to Mac. "How did you sleep?"
Mac arched a brow and grinned. She walked towards the fridge and pulled out a flask of orange juice. Harm knew full well of the answer, Mac didn't sleep at all.
"Fine I guess. I had this vivid dream that I was snuggled up next a JAG Commander for most of the night."
Harm grinned in reply and turned back to his sizzling breakfast.
"JAG Commander?" he asked pulling a plate from the drainer and lifting 2 rashes of cooked bacon on to it. "Don't tell me you've been having dreams about Sturgis again?"
Mac chuckled as she poured to glasses of orange juice.
"Again?" she replied returning the flask to the fridge. "When was the first time I had a dream about being snuggled up to Sturgis?"
Harm sighed contently and breathed in the smell of the breakfast. He had made bacon and eggs for Mac and toast for himself. He finished dishing up the two plates, put the pan in the sink and then pushed them across the other side of the bench top, where two placemats and two sets of knives and forks were waiting.
"Dunno." He whispered thoughtfully. "But whenever it was, spare me the details."
Mac shook her head in disbelief as she made her way around the bench and towards the plate of bacon and eggs.
"I'd like to spare myself the detail if you don't mind." She added sitting down.
Harm smiled thoughtfully and watched as Mac began eating or rather demolishing her breakfast. He loved how she would eat as much as she could and then fight with him over being obsessed with food. Harm realised, even though it was clear obvious before now, that Mac was the exact opposite of Renee. This cheered him up somewhat as the thought of his and Renee's failed relationship was not something he often could think about without a heavy layer of guilt setting in his gut.
As Mac concentrated on filling her grumbling stomach, she became away of Harm eyes on her. She looked up hastily, through her fifth mouthful, and stopped.
"What?" she asked childishly, replacing her knife and fork on her plate and looking slightly embarrassed towards Harm's untouched food.
Harm smiled.
"I was thinking about how beautiful you are." He said gently, his eyes shining.
Mac swallowed the last mouthful of food and looked away, biting down on her lip.
"Is last night going to change things?" she asked slowly. "I mean really change things? Are we going to end up like one of those couples that tear their lives apart because they can't distinguish between what's personal and what's professional? I mean let's face it – we compete with each other all the time. Who's going to win what case – who's going to win over the other? If that's going escalate even further – well – I don't know if I could handle that. " She looked up and met his eyes, which were now extinguished and full of hurt. "I don't think I can handle it turning out like it did after Australia. I gave you my heart Harm, and you flew your big stupid aircraft through it. I don't want that to happen again."
Not sure how to reply, Harm grabbed the glass of orange juice that Mac had poured for him and took a sip. He then took a deep breath and looked away himself, contemplating Mac's words. Feeling the pressure of silence, Mac pushed her plate away and got up off the stool she had been perched on. She decided his silence meant that he had no answer. Mac decided to get out as fast as humanly possible.
"I think I'll go and have a shower." She said. "Thank you for breakfast."
Mac waited a few moments, watching Harm apologetically, waiting for him to look at her - but he didn't. Tucking a stray stand of hair behind her ear Mac bowed her head and walked out of the kitchen. Becoming angered with himself for letting Mac walk out again without knowing his true feelings, Harm replaced the glass on the bench and followed Mac into her bedroom.
"I don't want things to turn out like they did before either." He began as he leaned a shoulder on the doorframe. "And I don't think that they will. I know that we've hurt each other before – but why do you think that it's going to happen again? Isn't seven, nearly eight years of dancing around each other enough to see Mac?"
Mac kept her back to him, as she gathered a pair of jeans and a white tank top from her cupboard. She ignored him momentarily, wishing that the romance of last night didn't have to coming crashing down so fast. Slightly angered and hurt at Mac's lack of reply, Harm stepped quietly into the room and moved towards her.
"Sarah, look at me." He pleaded, gently touching her on the upper arm. "Please."
Mac stopped and turned to look at him. She stared at the black T-shirt hugging his defined chest and then nervously looked up and into his eyes. She was determined not to make this too emotional but that plan was crashing and burning fast.
"I'm not going to push you away this time." He said softly. "I admit, it won't be easy as a start – trying to stop myself from dragging you into my office and kissing you senselessly in the middle of a fight - but," he added smiling, "We're both adults not hormone induced teenagers. I love you and I know you feel the same. I don't want to make this cliché but why can't we give this relationship a go? There have been times where it was too complicated for us to get our act together, but this time there is nothing standing in the way. I'm ready to give it a go what about you?"
Mac's cool composure was broken with a smile as she breathed in the scent of Harm's aftershave that was still present from the night before.
"You want to do this then?" she repeated, more for her sake then Harm's. She was finding it Harm to believe that Harm was actually admitting that he wanted to be with her. They had come to the point so many times but had both continued to back down. This time it was for real and this time things were different. They had no excuses and both were quietly thankful for that.
Harm nodded slowly. He thought he'd just poured out the corniest speech in his life and Mac was asking his to clarify it. "Isn't that what I just said?"
Mac rolled her eyes. "We'll let's give it a go then." She said stepping into his embrace and hugging him tightly around the waist. It felt good to be back in his arms.
Harm kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I though you were reconsidering for a moment."
"I wouldn't never reconsider but we do need to lay down some ground rules." She looked up at him seriously. "What happens after hours stays out of work conversation. Alternatively we can't bring our work home with us either. We need to act professionally." She stopped. "I'm nagging aren't I?"
Harm smiled and nodded. "Mac, where have you been for the past couple of years? We haven't even acted professional when the duty called for it how the hell do you expect us to all of a sudden become so professional that we turn JAG upside down? Surely people will begin to suspect when we don't have our weekly war about cases, evidence and whatnot." Harm lowered his voice. "Surely Harriet will suspect." He added with a smile. "No to mention the Admiral doesn't miss a thing."
Mac nodded and leant forward, engaging Harm in a kiss. His hands moved to the small of her back as he pulled her closer. Mac groaned as he deepened the kiss and as quickly as it had all started, Harm pulled away. He smiled somewhat teasingly as he slowly backed out of the room, his eyes fixed on her.
"My breakfast of toast awaits." He said light heartedly. "And you said that you were going to have a shower."
Mac sighed, slightly put off that Harm had back away. She gathered her clothes from the floor, that she had managed to drop during Harm's passionate kiss, and she adjusted her pyjamas with the last strands of dignity she had.
"Yeah." She mumbled, as he reached the door. "And now it's going to have to be a cold one."
Harm grinned flyboy style.
"You said it, not me." He said cheerfully walking out of the room.
* * * * *
0930 HRS
Mac rinsed the last of the shampoo from her hair and turned the tap off grudgingly. The cold shower had soothed the mornings heat and settled her from wanting to repeat all actions of last night with Harm. She stepped out of the shower and pulled her fluffy blue bath towel from the towel rack beside the shower. Wrapping it around her skilfully, she walked towards the basin and grabbed her toothpaste and toothbrush. Mac had just applied a small strip of toothpaste to the brush and placed it in her mouth when the bathroom door swung open. Gathering the towel around her and pulling the nearly swallowed toothbrush from her mouth, Mac narrowed her eyes at Harm as he poked his head in the door.
"Sorry to interrupt," he said cheerfully indicating the complete opposite to what he was saying, "but Bud is on the phone." He looked Mac up and down in the towel and smiled roguishly. "He said that he'd like a word about the dinner you're supposed to be attending tonight."
Mac stared at Harm indignantly and waved the toothbrush as him. Men! She thought angrily. One-track mind.
"What dinner?" she asked ignoring Harm's smile.
Harm smiled again, this time for a different reason. He arched an eyebrow at Mac.
"You seriously don't remember what I'm talking about do you?" He asked slightly dissatisfied.
Mac frowned as a wave of worry fanning across her face.
"No." she replied slowly, wracking her brain for any dinner plans involving the Robert's. "No I don't."
"Bud and Harriet's wedding anniversary." Harm replied expertly. "Dinner at Bud and Harriet's celebrating their wedding anniversary."
Mac sighed, have remembered instantly that Harriet had asked her about it two weeks ago.
"Now I remember. But why didn't you tell Bud that I was in the shower and that I would call him back later." Mac asked, raising her brow.
Harm smiled.
"I did." He replied grabbing hold of the door handle. "I just wanted –"
Mac reached for the box of tissue sitting on the basin and threw them in Harm's direction. On reflex, Harm pulled the door closed, letting the tissue bounce off the door and land feebly on the ground. He opened it again slightly and stuck his head through the gap.
"I like to reply 'is that all you've got?' but I know you've got a pretty mean right hook that I wouldn't want to be on the end off."
And with a last grin at Mac's attire, Harm slammed the door closed. Mac rolled her eyes and studied herself in the mirror above the basin.
"Men." She muttered staring at her own reflection. "You really can pick them."
To Be Continued…
BTW – Any mistakes – please ignore. I feel like a bit of impulse posting this arvo and there is nothing that spells out mistakes like impulse posting.