Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. This story was inspired by the song "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne.
A/N: Wow, it's been so long since I've updated! And that's because my computer is broken and that, sadly, means that I won't be able to update "Hero" for a couple more weeks. But, to make it up to all my wonderful readers, I'll post as many other fics (including the last "What Happens in Mexico..." story) to tide you over. Just another little note, this story is a little "darker" then the other ones I've written but I just felt the need to write this late at night. I hope you guys still like it. Review and let me know what you think.
She won't talk to me anymore.
She just sits and stares out the window with a vacant look on her face, her eyes far away. I wonder what she's seeing, what she wants to see. There's nothing out there and that's what upsets her. She keeps expecting to see something. To see him.
But he's not coming.
"Marissa." I say. "Let's go out." We've been in her room all day, just as we are everyday.
"No." She says back. "I don't need to go out."
She does. She's barely left her room since she moved in her with her mother. Her hair doesn't shine anymore; neither do her eyes. She's pale. She's falling apart.
"How 'bout the beach?" I suggest. She stares only out the window. I want to shut the blinds so she can't see how there's nothing out there.
She doesn't answer. She tugs at the bottom of her jeans with her fingers and I can see her arms when the sleeves of her shirt pull up. She wears long sleeves now, even though it's summer; she tries to hide the marks on her arms. No one notices but me.
"You said you'd stop." I say. She is silent. She can't stop, not until he comes home. It is the same everyday.
There's nothing I can do.
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It's raining today and now she has a real excuse to stay inside.
"What are you thinking?" I ask as she stares out the window, seeing something I'm not. "What's out there?"
"Nothing." She says. "There's nothing."
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No one notices but me. It's hard, but I try; I try to always be there. Today it is too hard.
"I need you." I whisper but she doesn't hear me. Today would be my two month anniversary; today it hurts too bad. Today I need her.
"No one needs me." She says. The window again. Today she sits on the sill and she is wearing a sleeveless top; I can see the marks, there are more.
I watch her. "What happens to you?"
There is no answer. She doesn't know.
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Her dad comes to see her, she says nothing. "Marissa," he says, "What's wrong?"
She doesn't know.
"She's lost." I tell him. "I don't know how to find her again."
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"Why do you do this?" I ask her. "Don't do this."
She stops, she looks at me. "It hurts Sum." She whispers. Today there are tears.
"Stop." I say. "If it hurts."
She stares. "You don't understand. This is much better."
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I tried to tell her mom, there was no help there. I tried to tell Ms. Cohen but she is too hurt and upset over him. Over both of them. I hate them both but mostly Ryan; he's taken everything from me.
I hate him.
But I've never need anyone so much.
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Today was a bad day. There was nothing I could do, no way to help.
When I got home, I cried, I screamed, I broke things. I smashed my mirror and cut my fingers. Looking at the blood, I thought of her. Is this what she wants? I don't know anymore.
When did this happen?
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She's falling apart.
"Go home." I say. "You need to be with your dad."
She looks at me. "There's no one home." She whispers. "No one can help."
"I can." I have tears in my eyes. "Just tell me."
She has tears too. "I feel like I'm dying inside." She cries. "Why do I feel like this? What's happening to me?"
I hug her, I hold her and she doesn't let go. I know her again, I see her beneath the marks and the tears. She's in many pieces, but we can put them together.
I've found her again.