Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, everyone! Sorry it took me so long to post…I've been busy with work. -.- ucky.

That next morning, Miroku was confused. He glanced to his left, where a girl with long brown hair lay moaning softly into a towel.

"I have a hangover…" she muttered to a girl in a schoolgirl uniform. Why had she allowed herself to become so drunk? And with no one else around, it seemed convenient, almost planned.

He found the whole situation remotely provocative in a way that both amused him and worried him. Had she remembered a single thing she'd said or done last night?

Unfortunately for her, she had. Sango was thankful for the hangover, because it gave her the excuse to lay in the dark and hide her utter humiliation. And-dare she even think this?- plot her next move? She had to hand it to herself. This took guts. She began to feel the faintest sprouting of admiration for Kagome.

But Sango was completely out of ideas. She'd tried it when hewas unconscious, she'd tried it when he was conscious and she was full of spirits, and it hadn't worked. Flat-out kissing the boy was something that never crossed her mind, but it certainly had crossed his.

They were off again, encamped at a river, and no more was said about anything that had happened. Kagome and Inuyasha were no less platonic with one another than they ever had been, but there was the occasional sweeping glance, the occasional linked hands, the occasional blush, that made Sango feel a deep something stirring inside of her. It was as if that one kiss had unlocked all those emotions wrapped up inside of them. It made her wonder if, after she accomplished her goal, anything would change between her and Miroku.

Kagome was cooking the fish Inuyasha had just caught, and Miroku and Inuyasha were running around like little boys and drenching one another with water.

Kagome smiled ruefully and rolled her eyes at them. "Ah, those silly boys. They never learn, do they?"

Sango, who had been watching Miroku very closely, started when she heard Kagome's voice. "What?"

Sango didn't miss the coy expression on her friend's face. "You were watching him, Sango chan. I saw you."

There was no denying it. "So-so what if I was? Is that a crime?" She spat through her blush.

"Indeed not. But it certainly is if you haven't…" She let her sentence trail off, meeting Sango's eyes. Quickly Sango averted her own.

"No, I…I haven't." She felt like such a fool. She could beat up all the boys in her village as a little girl, she could exterminate any youkai that was thrown at her, but she couldn't even get one wimpy little kiss.

"Inuyasha! Miroku! Watch out! Those rocks are sharp!" Kagome yelled, diverting her attention away from the subject at hand.

"Keh!" Said Inuyasha scornfully, "Rocks! You worry too much, woman!" Kagome shrugged and turned back to her fish. She was about to open her mouth again when a two sharp cries pierced the happy mood of the campground.

"Miroku fell in!" came Shippou's piercing cry through the air. In an instant the girls were at their feet and running towards the spot where Inuyasha stood alone, stupidly staring at the bubbling surface of the river.

"Inuyasha! Don't just stand there! Go in after him!" Kagome demanded, while Sango's heart pounded frenetically in her ears. Every second of rushing water was a thousand years of torture to her as she waited anxiously for him to surface. The rocks below were sharp…a blow to the head could potentially kill.

It had been at least five seconds since Miroku had fallen in, and there was still no sign of him. The bottom was indistinguishable, but it looked deep. And then Sango remembered something that almost made her heart stop.

He couldn't swim. He'd lived near the little pool all his life, but never a big river, and certainly not near the ocean, so there had been no need. Mentally Sango cursed him, wishing he'd taken the time to learn.

"Fine. I'm going," Inuyasha said irritably, tossing his haori at Kagome and climbing over the rocks to dive into the rushing currents. For a moment, both Inuyasha and Miroku were nowhere in sight, but in the next instant Inuyasha's ears appeared and Miroku's dark hair proceeded it.

"He's alive…" Sango felt her knees go weak with relief as the seriousness of the situation hit her head-on. Had Inuyasha been a second later, or had he been alone, or had the current been stronger…she might have lost him to the water. Lost him, and never seen him again.

Inuyasha dragged Miroku onto the surface and not-so-gently laid him down. Blood flowed from a slight wound on his head, but what terrified her was his chest. It was perfectly still.

"He's not breathing!" She yelled, realizing as she said it that Kagome had already left to retrieve a bandage for his head. Her voice bounced back to greet her, and Kagome halted in her tracks.

"Use CPR!" She called back, then paused, realizing Sango would have no idea what that meant. "Breathe into his mouth! Put your lips on his and breathe into his mouth! Quick! Hurry!"

In barely a heartbeat of thought, Sango bent down , took his face into hers, and leaned down towards his lips.

But before she had a chance to perform the life-saving CPR, a pair of arms suddenly slipped around her body, making her entirely rigid. She knew those arms. She knew that touch...it could only be…

"What the hell?" She muttered right before she was guided down by the supposed invalid and her lips were on his.

Her mind swirled…he was unconscious, wasn't he? Had he revived before she'd even done a thing? Why was he…what was he? She could barely form a cogent thought, though, above the sudden weakness of her body. Her limbs were rendered useless, powerless to do anything but lay on top of the drenched monk and return the kiss he was bestowing upon her with such reverence, such passion, such…

She knew that touch, all right. She especially knew it when his hand was crawling down to places it shouldn't be touching. "Damn you!" She screamed, breaking the kiss, and slapped him as hard as she could.

When Sango looked up Kagome was standing above her, an incredulous expression on her face. "What the…? What's going on, Sango?"

Infuriated, Sango opened her mouth. "This guy…" she could barely speak over her fury, "He must think he's smart. What in the world were you thinking, Miroku? Pretending you were drowned, worrying me so much! What the heck is wrong with you? Just so you could steal a kiss and a grope and a…" she trailed off, realized what she'd just said. It was true. Was this whole act merely a ploy, then?

Miroku sat up, gingerly touching the wound on his forehead. "You shouldn't strike the injured, Sango. It's not good manners."

"Manners my foot!" She shrieked, "I want you to explain to me what you think you're doing!"

Kagome had already began to clean off his forehead, and he flinched a bit.

"I fell in and hit my head on a rock," he stated calmly, "But it didn't knock me out. I was under there, struggling to get to the surface, when Inuyasha here came and rescued me. When we surfaced, I was exhausted. All I could do was breathe. When you guys brought me ashore, I was fine, but I was feeling extremely dizzy. I was taking shallow breaths so I wouldn't cough-I think I might have swallowed some water. But then I heard what Kagome said to you, Sango, and I decided to wait until you were about to do it, and then…" He grinned, rubbing the slap print on his face.

She was speechless for an instant, but finally the words all clamored to her mouth again. "You…you're…you're despicable! You know how worried I was? I thought you were…I thought you were dead, I thought you had stopped breathing, I thought…" She stopped. "Damn it." She shook her head and stopped talking, so embarrassed that she could barely see straight.

His smile only grew wider. "You were worried about me?"

"Well, of course I was! I mean, if it had been Inuyasha or Kagome or Shippou I would have been just as worried. But that wasn't funny. Pretending to drown, that is." She paused and tried to breathe. Kagome discreetly chose to exit at that moment, and mentally Sango thanked her friend.

But Miroku only shrugged. "It's a better plan than trying to kiss someone while they're supposedly asleep. Or to intoxicate oneself and thereby remove all self-dignity."

She froze.

"What…? What did you say?"

Miroku enjoyed her embarrassment. She looked so cute, with her entire face bright pink from the roots of her hair down to her neck. He drew out the pause as long as possible.

"I said….I knew….what you were trying….to do…."

No. It wasn't possible. How could he know? Her plans had been so foolproof! She'd planned them so carefully, put the precision of a militant officer into them. And here he was saying he knew all along?

"What are you talking about?" She asked, trying to feign innocence even though she was undoubtedly foiled.

"Kagome told me about her little dare," he continued, as if she had not spoken, "and Inuyasha was awake that entire time you were trying to kiss me when I was asleep. He told me what you had done."

If anyone had told her it was possible to be this humiliated, she wouldn't have believed them. She couldn't look at him at all.

Neither of them spoke for several paradoxical minutes that seemed both agonizing and pleasing, short-lived and eons long.

"Why don't we just stop pretending?" Miroku said finally, so softly that she could barely hear. "We're both so used to acting contrary to what we believe- you, pretending that you're fine all the time when I know how worried sick you are about your brother; and me, pretending that I'm not cursed and that everything is just great, even though my death is always before me. And we both pretend that we feel nothing for one another."

Sango sneaked a glance at him and saw that he was staring at the grass intently. He was being serious. "I-," her voice cracked, and she tried again. "I- I think you're right. That one time, you know, I wanted to pretend it didn't happen." Listening to herself, she sounded like a babbling idiot. But Miroku understood her perfectly.

"I just thought it would be better not to complicate everything," he said, "But there is no avoiding it. I do care about you, Sango, and I'm going to stop pretending that I don't."

She knew he was waiting for a reply. She barely thought about what she would say-the words just sprang out of her mouth on instinct. "All right," she said, "I'll stop, too. Pretending, that is."

"Let's go back to camp. I'm hungry," he said and helped her up.

"Want to try that kiss again?" He asked, and without really waiting for permission, he swept her into his arms and kissed her soundly in plain view of everyone. This time, Sango really kissed him back, but halted the minute she heard clapping and shouting from the camp.

"Remind me to kill them later," she muttered. But she had to smile a little bit when she heard Shippou's innocent "Kagome? What are they doing?"

Yep, tis over. Not my best story, but whatever, I'm satisfied with it. The truth is, I had a dream like this, where the whole thing happened with Miroku falling into the lake and kissing Sango. That's why I wrote this Sango's Retaliation in the first place, because I thought it would be a funny, if rather ironic, ending. Poor Sango just can't win. -.-

xAurora