Disclaimer: Drow not mine…

Alhana: I feel almost sorry for Giciel, because I let him succumb so easily, but his seduction is a necessary part of the story. Anyway, how about some chocolate cake for a change:-)? I love chocolate cake!

Nariel: Ja , wieso sind sie nicht alle schwul… hab ich mich auch schon gefragt. Wäre nachvollziehbar! Willst du auch was vom Kuchen?

C

Dinner

C

Once I feel sufficiently clean and relaxed I climb out of the tub to find some clothes already prepared for me on a bench. They fit surprisingly well and I like the light lavender hue of the robe, even though it feels a bit strange to wear something that covers so much skin after six months spent for the most part in a far more revealing attire. Hopefully I will not do something embarrassing like stumble over the hem for example, which is just slightly too long. But with nothing else available I decide to leave them on and start to braid my hair. Some time later, after a critical look in the mirror I'm satisfied that my appearance is suitably alluring without being too obvious about it and I slowly make my way back to the room I woke up in to watch the sun slowly sink below the horizon in all her red and golden glory.

I have only been there for about half an hour when I can hear a polite knock from the door. It is Giciel, who has come to fetch me personally. The slight, nearly imperceptible intake of breath I can detect as he lays eyes on me, tells me that I have indeed done well in my efforts to look innocent but tempting and for good measure I add a quick seemingly insecure smile before looking away.

"Dinner is ready if you'd like it now." He says in a neutral tone.

"Wonderful." I reply with a grin, walking over to join him. "What are we going to have?"

"I made some vegetables with rice. I'm afraid though that my cooking is not without fault, but since your cousin has survived it you should too."

Almost against my will I start to feel a bit more sympathetic towards him after that admission. I can't really cook either and all attempts to produce anything more complicated than potatoes have been a disastrous failure. Even pancakes are simply beyond me.

"Ah well I've survived a lot." I say wryly. "My own cooking for example and you can't be worse than me."

"That remains to be seen then."

Good he's smiling. If he can just get over is self-conscious pity I'll have him exactly where I want him. That'll take some work though. Or maybe I could even convince him that I need his compassion, acted out in a certain way after the cruel touches of those Drow, to relieve my memories…we'll see. For now I smile back and follow him to the dining room. For a second I start to fear that Ayren will be there as well, which would make my task a lot harder, because she knows me and would probably see through at least parts of my act, but when he opens the door a table with only two settings is revealed. Nearly dizzy with relief I slump down on one of the chairs.

Only when I feel strange at seeing him gracefully take his seat on the opposite side, it occurs to me that I have not eaten while actually sitting at a table for quite some time and I think I'll savor the experience of being treated as an equal as long as it lasts.

"I hope that everything has been to your satisfaction so far?" He asks in an attempt to make light conversation. It's also been a long time since anybody has earnestly wanted to know how I feel about something and I can only stare at him for a few seconds in surprise before answering: "Yes thank you very much."

After this exhausting response we proceed to eat silently for a few minutes. He has of course greatly exaggerated when telling me that he couldn't cook and I have to admit that the meal tastes quite good in its simplicity. When he offers me some wine though, I automatically decline saying: "No thank you, but I'm not allowed…" I break off realizing how that must sound. But it is true, my Master has forbidden us to take an offered drink from anybody but him, as it could be laced with drugs, a somewhat common practice amongst his kin.

"Not allowed?"

Argh this is embarrassing, but on the other hand, maybe I can get him to make a promise concerning the removal of the outward sign of my existence as a slave and so I say pointedly: "Yes. Not allowed. I'm still wearing the collar am I not? And thus I'm officially still considered His slave, bound to obey his orders."

"Yes." He sounds sad. "I'm sorry, but it withstood all my attempts to remove it. I still have some options left. Those will take time though, as I'll have to prepare and look up some things."

"Don't worry." I actually manage to smile saying this, but of course he worries anyway.

"I just hope the wards will be strong enough, so he doesn't locate you before we have managed to remove that…thing."

I'm tempted to laugh. He can't even bring himself to say the word, dislike written clearly all over his expressive gold skinned face. As for my Master finding me, well there isn't much I can say to him about that affair seeing that it has already come to pass despite all assurances on the contrary. I wonder what He will do with Giciel, kill him, make him a slave like me, another one to pass around and mark? What would be his weakness? In this moment I feel that it'd be a mercy if he was killed quickly and I wouldn't have to see this open, caring face vanish under a mask of false pleasure as did mine.

"Don't worry." I repeat. "I'm used to it by now. It's the things that come with it which are far worse and won't leave me with the simple removal of a piece of silver."

"I will help you." He says and seems very convinced that I'll let him, which brings me to another question I must ask, because for someone in my circumstances it would be suspicious if I did not and I truly want to know too.

"I appreciate that of course, but why would you do this for one like me? I'm a cast out, worthless, a slave, certainly no one who warrants such attention and I have nothing to give in return."

He is clearly shocked that I would speak of myself in such low terms and cries: "No! Please, I wouldn't expect anything from you. Not after…after…"

"After I was made the bitch of almost every higher ranking member in my Masters house." I cut in sharply, angered for some reason by his inability to say the words, my voice coated in only half faked self loathing and also having decided that pretending to have some kind of nervous breakdown will help my cause.

"But you couldn't have…"

"I'm just a toy, fit to be used." I continue more softly, ignoring his protest, before covering my face with my hands, sobbing all the while. My new ability to cry at will can be quite convenient at times. Suddenly I can feel him touching me lightly on the shoulder, but I won't give in yet, that would be too easy. Abruptly I jerk away from the contact, purposely letting the chair hit the ground in the process and stumble backwards until I can feel the cool stones of the wall at my back. Only then I stop, slowly sliding down to the floor, where I roll my body into a tight ball of barely contained misery.

I have to put some serious effort into fighting down a fit of hysterical laughter at his rather helpless attempts to comfort me with soothing words. It takes some time before he can gather up enough courage to touch me again, but this time I let him.

After what I feel is an appropriate amount of time I unwind from my present position and in a sudden startling movement cling to him, arms tightly around the neck, face buried between head and shoulder, still crying with abandon, sobbing out half sentences like "They're so cold…so cruel…" or just "I'm sorry…" Whatever comes to ones mind when thinking of Drow. I daresay that even the highly critical Vergir would be more than satisfied with my current performance of "the hurt innocent". Only he would never think to do something compassionate like stroking my back or whisper soothing words in my ear like Giciel is doing now.

For a second I feel sorry that this is only a charade and not real, but I know that such thoughts are dangerous and therefore I quickly push them down to the deepest recesses of my mind. Better not to let hopes grow that in the end will inevitably be shattered and leave me weak with sorrow.

"I'm sorry." I mumble, finally disentangling myself from the mage. "I apologize for my inconvenient outburst."

"It's okay." He says looking at my still tear streaked face. "Do you need anything?"

This is it, the moment I've been waiting for.

"I…n-no thank you." I say and look away knowing that after this display he'll ask again.

"Really? Nothing?"

"No…yes, maybe, but you don't have to… if you…" I say pretending to feel uncomfortable.

"What is it?" He is looking at me now all concerned and caring, which reminds me of Andy and sends a sharp sting of loneliness through my insides. I hope he's ok. He should be. He's even better than me at worming his way through dangerous situations.

"C-can I stay with you tonight? Please? I know you said that the wards will… and I don't mean to… but I'm afraid he'll come for me anyway! C-could you hold me, p-please?"

I don't need to pretend to let him hear the fear in my voice. My Master is one of the most frightening people I've ever known and I don't even want to imagine what he'd do if I were to fail in this! Giciel seems surprised at first by my request for nearness, but nods eventually.

"If that is your wish you may come with me."

"Thank you."

The gratitude is genuine, for even if he can't do anything to save me, his undemanding presence will be comforting. I know that from experience.