The Awakening - Chapter 4
Disclaimer. The characters and situations in this story are owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. I'm only borrowing them to while away an hour or two. No credits are being made or exchanged.
My thanks to Mona, Jackie and Molly for their help and encouragement, especially when I was doubting the direction this story should go. This story is NC-17.
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Luke's apartment - Coruscant
'Desire.'
It sped through Mara faster than liquid metal.
Wanting, yearning, longing - desire. A kaleidoscope of images tumbled through her brain - all because she'd touched him. The Force swirled around her, taunting her with its silent whispers of encouragement. Time stood still as she continued to hold the face of the man she'd once sworn she would kill.
'Desire.'
Luke held himself immobile with the shock of the sensations her touch had invoked in him. He was aching, craving, hungering for the pleasure and the pain her touch brought him. The Force eddied around him, urging him to complete the circle of their meeting. His own body was beseeching him to go ahead and just take what he knew now to be his. But he couldn't do that. Mara had to be as aware of what she was doing as he was, although he was unaware of anything happening outside the circle of his arms. Within them - he held the universe. The galaxy could do without them for a while.
He closed his eyes. His hands had moved to her shoulders, feeling the smooth skin - so soft. Mara moved her hands and entangled her fingers in his hair. Luke sighed as he felt her fingers comb through and finally rest on the nape of his neck. He deliberately breathed in her scent as he reached for her presence in the Force. Carefully keeping his feelings in check, he leant forward and brushed his lips over hers.
'Desire.'
The simple matter of two mouths meeting was not simple at all for the Jedi. Passion flashed bright and strong as Luke gathered Mara Jade into his arms and crushed her against him. The hunger, the craving and the need acted like a bolt from a bowcaster. Mara wound her arms around him and opened her mouth to his kiss. Passion bright, passion strong, greed, need and many years of secretly watching every move the other made added to the conflagration of their desire.
Luke's tongue was determined to taste her thoroughly and hungrily, and all Mara could do was moan her consent.
'Desire,' liquid and hot.
Lost in each other Mara and Luke clung, lip to lip. Only the nearby misfiring of a perilously out of control air taxi disturbed them. As if shot, they jerked apart. "What are we doing?" Mara rubbed her tongue carefully over kiss-swollen lips. To Luke the sight was unbelievably erotic and his feet, without his consent, moved back towards her.
"Mara," he whispered. "Mara, that was like nothing I've…"
She met his stunned blue gaze and wondered if she too looked as if she'd been trampled by a rancor. Her gaze shifted past Luke to where she could see into the bedroom, where the big bed dominated her vision and the Force help her, she could see herself tangled with Luke, skin to skin, woman to man, in it.
"Oh Sith, Skywalker. What do we do now?"
"I don't know - this changes everything."
"Or nothing."
"Or nothing," he agreed the knowledge of something deeper in his eyes. "Perhaps this is why I was called home."
Mara walked to the edge of the balcony and stared into the darkness of the night. Dark, yet Coruscant was ablaze with lights of every colour. Coruscant, the heart of the galaxy; the planet where no one ever slept. The place where billions of people carried on with their own selfish lives and spared little thought for other less fortunate beings. "I don't know if I can do this, Luke."
Luke's head snapped round to where Mara stood. "What do you mean?" his voice was low and dangerous.
"I don't know if I can keep walking away from you and survive."
"I don't understand."
"You're the Jedi Master and I'm the former Emperor's Hand."
"I know that - so?"
"The kiss we shared…" Mara flushed miserably. "It wasn't exactly platonic."
Luke swallowed as he relived the feeling of her in his arms, his mouth on hers -- so soft, so seductive. "You keep walking away? You do, don't you." His eyes held understanding. Why do you have to walk away - that was heaven to me."
"We can't… it wouldn't be right. I don't…."
"Trust me, need me, want me?" He implored her, his hands clenching into fists with desperation. He wanted to touch her so badly. "Mara, I…" He started towards her again and grabbed her by the wrists.
"You're my friend," she persisted in delaying their destiny. "This is too abrupt even for us. Where did this come from – this emotion? Friends don't sleep together." She shook him off, but he clung on.
"Only enemies do - is that what you're saying - enemies or mere acquaintances? Yes, we're friends, Mara. Can't friends be lovers too?" Luke turned away, his shoulders hunching, letting her hands drop to her sides.
"No… yes… I… can't always have what I want."
"Why not?" He swung on his heel to face her. "Why can't we?" His face tight with desire and frustration. "Why can't we have what we want? We deserve it." His fists clenched. "Or do we have to suffer some more - alone?" He was trying to understand this complex woman and failing miserably. Yoda could have prattled on about trying and doing until Luke reached nine hundred years old too. It wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference. His hand brushed the weapon which hung proudly at his waist.
"Palpatine's Fortress!" he yelled suddenly, as his level of frustration with himself and Mara reached its limit and he pulled out his saber. "Okay, so we don't make love, what do we do instead?"
Advancing on Mara, he held it in the first classical position and waited. Mara looked confused as she eyed the shimmering green blade and its simmering owner. Luke lifted the saber and attacked. Immobile for only a second, Mara came to life and her own saber flew to her hand, igniting immediately. Just in time as Luke's saber crashed down narrowly missing her head.
"Luke! What the hell's going on?"
She parried his attack successfully and began to move around the balcony. "Sith!" She swore as she lopped off the top of one of the flowering shrubs, in a vain attempt to counteract one of Luke's moves. "Luke, you sith-spawned, underhanded excuse for a man. If you wanted your plant life to follow the art of topiary, you could have said. What's got into you?" Tripping over her feet, she dodged another attack. Fighting in a long flowing gown was not easy.
'Adapt,' she heard in her head.
Mara narrowed her green eyes and began to attack back. Luke was not suffering from an attack of the dark side; he was out to prove a point. What point it was, she didn't know. But she had an excess of hormones to get rid of herself. Kissing Luke, becoming lost in his arms… She slowed a little, her breathing laboured. The Jedi Master's blue gaze sharpened for a moment, she was becoming a little distracted - good. This was a fight he aimed to win. He knew this was what the Force had in store for him. Luke, perhaps a little unfairly, sent her an image of them melded together and Mara slowed down even further. He had to act fast because she would be on to him. With an angry hiss, Mara moved to intercept his thrust and found her dress neatly slashed to above her knees.
Luke stopped this time, as the sight of her long slim legs appearing through filmy layers of material was doing things to his already shaky equilibrium. They shut down their sabers and stood breathing heavily at opposite ends of the balcony.
"What the hell was that all about, because I sure don't know?"
Luke gave her an intense assessing stare and began to remove his tunic and shirt. Then he moved towards her again. "Okay, that should solve the problem. Your dress was too constricting around your legs and it hampered your movement," he said calmly.
'Too calmly', Mara thought suspiciously. Luke was up to something. But taking off his shirt - 'come on!' Did he think that stripping off would reduce her to a quivering mess? She wasn't the kind of girl impressed by the latest galactic nerfcake photos. It took more than a handsome face and a superb body to knock Mara Jade off balance. 'It's just Luke,' she told herself. 'Skywalker, Farmboy, Jedi...'
Mara didn't guess, but Luke was desperately fighting for his composure. He lifted his saber and squeezed the comfort of his handgrip. 'Control, control - you must learn control.' He heard Yoda's wheezy voice in his mind and found new purpose. This was part of him, the lightsaber, who and what he was. He took a deep breath. "If we're going to indulge in a little sparring, I don't want to ruin my new suit. Begin. "
Mara stared at his naked chest and her temperature began to rise again. The well formed pecs lightly sprinkled with hair, the flat stomach - no one could deny that the Jedi Master was very much a man and Mara didn't want to do that. No - she wasn't a girl to be swayed by the superfluous details of a mere man. But again the perfidious voice inside her urged and tempted. 'This isn't just any man. This is Luke, and he's special.' Her saber flickered into life and she waited for Luke to make another attack. But he didn't; he stood waiting for her to do something.
'Special,' the little voice taunted her. 'Special… Special.'
Half-heartedly, she edged a little closer. "I don't want to fight with you, Luke," she whispered as the overload of emotions began to take effect. She dropped the saber and it cut out, rolling away under one of the flower tubs. Luke moved closer still and attached his own to his belt.
"Mara, you can use a saber better than that." His voice emotionless. "Suppose I had been a real threat?"
"I know, but…"
"You knew I wasn't - why?"
He carefully moved into her personal space and placed careful hands on her smooth, bare arms. Gently, in case she would flee, he tipped her chin up and gazed into her eyes. In them was a storm of doubts and seething emotions, but she would not cry. Not in front of him.
"I'm not your enemy. Why continue to treat me as such? You said you'd forgiven me for times past long ago, yet you still keep part of yourself locked away. We are alike you and I, but I trust you. I would trust you with everything I have."
Mara tried to keep her gaze away from his strongly muscled chest and found herself looking into his blue eyes instead. The look in them made her knees buckle. His eyes were the window to his soul, wise and true, but she could see hurt at her apparent mistrust of him - the one person she'd said had saved her soul. Luke sensed her weakening and tightened his grasp in support but it brought him close and she could feel the imprint of his body on her own. The Jedi Master felt his own control waning and decided to give in. Luke had had enough and placed his lips over hers.
"Mara," his well-shaped mouth sipped at hers. "You don't want to walk away from me, surely. Do you?" He placed his arms around her and drew her closer. Bending his fair head, he nibbled at her neck and Mara closed her eyes. The sensation of his lips on her skin sent her pulse skyrocketing upwards.
Mara struggled a little, but she didn't want to get away. Because if she had wanted to, she would have. "Luke, is this fair?"
"It's what we both want."
"We can't always have what we want, Skywalker." Mara exerted enough will power on her crumbling defences to move Luke to arms' length.
"This is our destiny - we both know it. I should have done something about it a long time ago, but I was foolish and misguided. I thought my destiny, my future, was to be alone, and I hugged my self-pity to myself with a twisted kind of pride."
Mara stretched out her hand and her saber returned to her. "We can create our own destiny, Skywalker. Who said I would have let you create mine?"
"If the Force wills it. It called us both, Mara. We can create our own destiny, and I'm creating mine right now with you," and once more his head descended and his lips covered hers.
'Desire.'
This time Luke was in total control and Mara's defences crumpled. Her mouth opened, allowing his tongue to mimic the act they both wanted so much to happen. Luke kissed her eyelids closed, lifted her off her feet and carried her into the bedroom. The bedroom was again decorated in the dark russet tones Luke favoured, with the bed dominating both their thoughts. They knew that was their intended place, tangled together, their bodies rising and falling with passion. Woman to man, skin to skin - heartbeat to soul.
Shutting the doors with the Force, he slid Mara down his body and began removing clothes, never letting go of her. His lips continued to kiss and caress her, his hands finding the concealed fasteners on her clothing and sliding it off her, piece by piece. His hands stroking her woman's shape learning her hollows and curves - pulling the pins from her tightly coiled hair until it surrounded him with its fiery splendour.
Mara roused herself from her passive lethargy as streaks of fire began to course through her body. Trembling she groped blindly for the catch on Luke's belt, and belt and saber dropped to the floor forgotten.
The sound of his gasp, interspersed with soft kisses and gentle murmurs, acted like fuel on a slow burning fire. It exploded hot and bright. Words were forgotten, kisses no longer soft, but hard and bruising, encouraging the furnace. Desperately, Luke and Mara divested each other of their final pieces of clothing and, naked, joined each other on the bed - finally skin met skin. As his lips covered hers once more, opening so that their tongues could taste and stroke, Luke's hands found her breasts and brought them to aching life. Mara searched with the Force for Luke's presence and they joined as one in their minds creating a bond like no other.
The Force shimmered, adding nuances of indescribable feeling to their loving as they danced as one. As they reached fulfilment together, the wave crested and finally doused the flame. Luke pulled Mara to him and kissed her damp brow. She was his as he was hers, and they both knew it now.
Knowing was one thing, accepting it another.
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Mara's eyes blinked open on an unfamiliar ceiling. The heavy crimson comforter was warm and she almost gave into the temptation to close her eyes and sleep. Something shifted next to her, and Mara's eyes widened at the thought that she was not alone. Tentatively she faced the source of her indiscretion and winced as her gaze fell on the form of the Jedi Master. Wide-awake, the memories crashed in upon her mind. 'Emperor's spawn!' Luke Skywalker had made moves on her last night, and she'd gone for it like a sex-starved harlot. But he'd been good. He'd been better than good. If that was what living a relatively celibate lifestyle did for you, she was all for it. When the Jedi Master had woken up from his emotional deep freeze, who would have guessed that the waters ran so hot? Her body tightened as she remembered the things they'd done during the night. The things they had shared over and over and enjoyed them. Oh yes, she'd enjoyed them. She slammed shut the lid on some of the images, for they were too disturbing to remain loose in her head.
Mara eyed his sleeping face curiously. She'd seen him asleep before on Myrkr, Yavin and Wayland, but she'd never viewed him with the eyes of a lover. Luke lay sleeping, his face calm and untroubled, freed from the worry that was beginning to wear down his spirit. Even Leia hadn't seen his unhappiness, his loneliness - but Mara had. Was that the reason she'd given in to his body's demands? 'Unfair,' her mind screamed at her. 'You've wanted him for years. As soon as you saw his face on file you wondered what he'd be like in the bedroll. Admit it, Mara Jade. Admit it to your self.'
"When did you think he was special, Mara?" The echo of Leia's voice wound itself insidiously into her mind.
'Given in! She had given in!' The hell had she. She pushed a tired hand through her untidy red-gold hair and relaxed against the pillow. Who was she fooling? It certainly wasn't Luke Skywalker, and it wasn't anyone else in his family either. The only one doing the fooling was Mara Jade. Something had awoken her from her emotional numbness and she wasn't sure if she liked it. In the end, Mara had begged for it. She'd welcomed him into her body, as he'd possessed her. It had been a true meeting of equals. Woman to man, skin to skin, Jedi Knight to Jedi…
Luke shifted closely against her, muttering something in his sleep, his leg brushing against her own, his hand unconsciously caressing her hip, moving closer to the centre of her woman's need. A spark of awareness lit in her body, and her breasts tingled. Mara shifted a little, trying to move away from him.
"Mara?"
Reluctantly, she turned in the direction of the quiet compelling voice and found the sleepy blue eyes fastened on her with an intensity that scared her. The bed creaked, a strangely intimate sound in the stillness. He rose up a little and loomed over her, pushing her back into the soft mattress. He let his hand move down her body, smoothing his path, but leaving a trail of fire as he traversed her slim form. He traced over gently curving breasts and over the sweet skin of her stomach. Something inside her clenched. She arched and a tortured moan rose unbidden from her throat. Every nerve ending in Luke's body fired like the engines on the Millennium Falcon.
Mara couldn't believe it, she was ready for him. As soon as he'd touched her, he'd awoken sensation after sensation. She stiffened as he continued to feel, stroke and caress every inch of smooth soft skin.
Before too long, they were beyond coherent thought, beyond rational deliberation. Nature had them in her strong grip and wasn't going to free them until they had satiated themselves with each other. Together, they rode the wild tempest of light and stars. Every sensation seemed more intense and more real and finally Mara's scream triggered his own release.
With a soft satisfied sigh, he parted her lips with his own and drank deeply of her sweetness. Pulling her firmly against him, Luke cupped a soft round breast and joined his lover in sleep.
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Mara left the bed, her mind in a whirl.
She must have slept for several hours and then awakened, her mind confused. Mara pulled a shirt of Luke's around her nude body. It smelt comfortingly of him. Pushing aside the door to the balcony she moved as if in a trance and subsided onto a bench outside. Now the pale streaks of an uneasy dawn were creeping past the spires, columns and turrets of the Coruscant skyline.
'Sith, this was all one big mess. What the hell had possessed her?'
She'd been in the colonies delivering goods when the call came. Something had brushed her Force sense. With it she'd seen a picture in her mind. It was a balcony on Coruscant. She was there sleepily surveying the Coruscant skyline.
'Luke!' Had been her first thought, but the message had not come from him. He was still on Yavin according to her information sources. But she would swear on the death of Vader that the view had been connected to Luke somehow. It looked like the view from his apartment. This had been coupled with the strange restlessness that had gripped her at every turn. Karrde and the other smugglers had watched her with a curious kind of concern. She'd even gone on a date with someone she'd met on one of the colony worlds, but somehow she'd felt she was betraying someone. Which was completely stupid, as she was as free as the birds on Alderaan had once been.
'Once you were, but you're not free now, Mara Jade.' The voice was low and unfamiliar - older.
"I am free, I am dependent on no one. I'm in charge of my own destiny. I can be what and who I want to be. I am content…" The words trailed off into silence. "Am I content?" she asked herself in a hushed whisper. This time she hadn't been able to use a snappy retort. For the first few days she'd chosen to ignore the strange need to go home, but eventually she'd gone to Karrde.
"I have to go to Coruscant."
"Fine." He gave her a curious stare from eyes paler than Luke Skywalker's eyes of bright blue.
Something must have changed in her expression because Karrde leaned forward. "Is everything all right, Mara. I can't shake the feeling that there is something bothering you." He ran an idle finger over his goatee beard. "Skywalker in trouble?"
Her head jerked back. "Skywalker!" She managed a careless laugh. "I haven't heard from him in months. He's too busy on his jungle moon pontificating on matters of the Force."
"You're strong in the Force too, Mara Jade."
"I'm not Jedi material."
"Skywalker seems to think so."
"Ignore him - I do." She got to her feet, the movement drawing attention to the lightsaber at her waist. Luke's lightsaber, the one he'd given her all those years ago.
"Yet you wear his father's lightsaber," Karrde mused aloud.
"He gave it to me." Now she sounded defensive.
Karrde shook his head. When would Mara wake up and realise she and Skywalker were linked in some way? Karrde wasn't sure if it was romantically or not, but there were strong feelings between them. There always had been, even before they had met.
He turned to a shelf behind him and lifted several data cards from a box. "If you're going to Coruscant, you can do some business for me. Save me going there myself." He held out the cards, and she took them reluctantly.
"Sure, I'll cover those deals. I take it the buyer knows what he wants?"
"He does." Karrde's eyes fastened on Mara, with the shrewd expression in them, that made her think he was stripping away her layers and getting at exactly what she was thinking. "Oh and Jade..."
Mara turned her head, her hand poised on the door controls.
"Say hello to Skywalker. One of the things you're delivering is for him."
"Karrde, he's on Yavin. He was yesterday and still is."
Karrde's eyebrows raised a fraction. "You're keeping close tabs on the Jedi Master, but your information is flawed. Luke Skywalker left Yavin late last night and will probably be on Coruscant within the week."
Mara sighed as she finished her reminiscences. She'd then turned and asked Karrde the question. "When did you know that Skywalker was special?"
He hadn't demanded an explanation from Mara. Karrde had looked her straight in the eye. "Myrkr."
"Myrkr?"
"He survived a trek through the forest with you, and you were not exactly feeling friendly towards him at that point. He'd ruined your life - remember?"
Mara glanced down at her hands, a sulky expression on her face. The Emperor had used her. She didn't like to be reminded of it too often.
"Then he brought down a squad of Thrawn's men. Single-handedly, without the Force. He saved my life when he got me off the Chimaera. He saved your life on several occasions, so I still have my second in command."
There was an awkward silence. Was he asking her a question? Mara had chosen to take it as one. "I don't know, Karrde."
"Mara, it's your decision. Tell Skywalker I said so."
And what a decision she'd made. Mara rubbed her weary face, the morning light beginning to pour onto the balcony. She had sex with the Jedi Master. Sith knows what would happen now. He wasn't the type to leave well alone. Luke would keep pushing until one of them did something. Force knows she was in love with him and had been for years.
Mara wrapped Luke's shirt securely round her body and watched the hawk-bats circling over something far below.
Love? With Luke? No, it wasn't possible. "It's not possible. I can't be?"
Reluctantly, she turned and gazed at her sleeping lover through the open door and a rare expression resembling vulnerability mixed with tenderness crossed her beautiful features. It was true, she was in love with him, but he must not know. For it would give him power over her, and she had no desire to be in that situation ever again.