A/N: I'm backkkkkk min'na! Aren't you happy? I'm happy too that I'm able to keep my promise.
MoonAngel1: Of course I remember you. Eh, sorry if it's killing you but don't worry the secret will be revealed in this chap finally! So thanks again for reviewing and hope you like this chap.
Lady Imp: and you should see the smile that breaks into mine with your reviews. Arigatou. Yeah, I remember now perfectly what happened in that episode. I wanted to cry when I first saw usa slapped mamochan. Mamochan had looked soooo innocent when he said something like "Christmas is still a long way to go" because Usa wanted him to buy the glass shoes for her. Usa was shocked and Mamochan smiled teasingly(which almost gave me a heart attack! Soooo kawaii!!!) and said he was just joking. Of course, he knows, then he says it was the day they first met! . . . well, we all know what happened next. *sigh* that was one classic episode. Not because usa slapped mamo but partly yes, coz we get to see them like normal couples who gets into fights sometimes. Oh, I just love when mamo was calling rei, asking about usa. *sigh* he was leaning into the telephone booth, holding his cheek. *sigh* soooooooo kawaii!!!!!!!
Eternity's Angel: *bows* domo arigatou gozaimashita.
Steelheartrose: tnx for reviewing! Well, we'll all find that out after this chapter. Thank u for pointing out the mistakes, I edited and found the typos. I had no idea about the tenses though, I'm terrible at it. hehe
Kristi: this is as soon as I can^^
jabba1: I don't really think mamo is. I think you'll like the implication this chap would make in the end. Anyways, tnx for the review.
missaw: I hope this was soon enough for you. Arigatou for reviewing!
kirei*snow*tenshi: ah, my most devoted reader, thank u for greeting me. I remember that last year you did too. You're probably the only one who read through my long boring notes. Guess I would just have to say thank u in my own way. Like before this chap is dedicated to you! Hope you like it!
Jing2: you don't think it was lame? Oh! Arigatou! I'll have to show your review to my best friend! Oh, anyways, the next chap after this one will be the one dedicated to you and tita-kun. Remember what we've talked about ages ago?^^
Dark silhouette: maraming maraming salamat!^^
Serenity Komoshiro: arigatou for reviewing.
tita-kun: arigatou for reviewing again. What I've told you before will be revealed in this chap, so be sure to watch out for the next after this, ok? It'll be dedicated to both you and jing2.
moonangel1: thank u for the review! it made me smile and made me reread it at least 2 times. I really think it had been a stupid chap so I'm very happy you guys like it. I'll be showing your review to my best friend who whines to no end about what happened in the last part. Lol.
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is Naoko Takeuchi-sama's property. Kami-sama, bless her for giving me the chance to obsess about it.
". . . when you fall in love with a person, no matter what happens, the first thing you would think about is him. When you think about him, your heart would beat faster. When you lose him, your heart feels like there's a hole in it. Doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, there will always be a wound that you can't see or touch that would silently hurt." – Dong Shan Cai(Meteor Garden II, episode 10)
"There's a difference between being stupid and being a fool. Stupidity is when you love someone you know you can't have. Being a fool is looking at one's eyes and not see the love there."
Hmm, I wonder whose being stupid? I wonder whose the fool? Well, we'll finally going to know in this chap! btw, this chap is dedicated to my fav reviewer, kirei*snow*tenshi. To my 2 readers over at AI, this is also dedicated to them, Critika and Sailor Angel.
Chapter 15: Silent Souls
"Odango."
"Don't call me that."
Prince Endymion stood there watching the scene unfold before him. His princess, his love, his Usako was cradled in the arms of guy with long black hair tied back in a ponytail.
Endymion knew him of course, he was Kou Seiya. The lead singer of the famous idol group, Three Lights. A classmate of Usagi, Seiya had been always around his Usako during these past few months. The past few months while he was gone.
But wasn't really gone, little did his Usako knew, he had always been around. Always hovering near and watching her. For even in the after life, he could not stand being away from her.
The moment Galaxia took away his Star seed, he had deemed that perhaps it was a blessing in disguise after all. Now he could return to his Usako.
But returning to her side, he finally realized the pains death has caused not only to him but to his love as well. It was such beautiful torture to stand next to her yet never to be able to touch her. And it hurt deeply to see her crying in her sleep, calling out his name and asking for him to return.
If only he could. . . if only he could. . .
But without a body, he can never.
So as painful as it was to him, he continued to stay by her side even if she doesn't know it. Yet there were times, when she would turned her eyes directly at where him, he thought she may be sensing his presence.
But acknowledging a spirit would mean acknowledging a death. And Usagi, he knew, didn't want to even think that he was in fact already dead.
So everyday, he had watched her trying to act normal. Everyday he had watched, trying to believe that one day he will return to her. Everyday, he had watched her with Kou Seiya.
He was not naïve as his love. He knew Kou Seiya's feelings for his princess weren't all friendship. Seiya was never as aggressive as Usagi's other admirers, but Endymion could not help feel a deep aching in his chest every time Seiya was near Usagi.
Seiya was flesh and blood.
Even if he wanted to, Endymion could never protect her from all the fights the way Sailor Star Fighter protect her. Even if he wanted to, he could no longer feel Usagi's hair the way Seiya once dared to touch it. As much as he wished he could, he could no longer tease Usagi with an endearment Seiya now use as his nickname to her.
Endymion was pulled out of his reverie as Usagi, in the form of Princess Serenity, turned away from Seiya and looked directly to his spirit's eyes.
"Only Mamo-chan can call me that," she whispered brokenly. She smiled a soft loving smile towards Endymion's way.
"Mamo-chan," she whispered.
Prince Endymion smiled back at her. The past few months had been hard on him, it had been harder for her but now, finally every thing would all be all right, finally they could be together again.
Prince Endymion of Earth and Princess Serenity of the Moon stared at each other in anticipation of the reunion that would come in their next life. Already, Endymion can feel his princess's ki slowly thinning out. In a few more moments, death would come to take the princess's life.
Her eyes, as beautiful as ever, shining with love that he knew reflected with his own, slowly began to close.
Suddenly a lone tear ran down her perfect cheek. . . she broke her gaze from Endymion and turned to Seiya.
Endymion saw how his princess wanted to comfort Seiya but she no longer had the strength to do so. She had just let Seiya's tears rain down on her face as she peacefully closed her eyes into oblivion.
Seiya stared down at Usagi's lifeless face, his cries became heavier. He clutched Usagi tighter. . .
Mamoru sat up in bed, his heart pounding and his breaths coming in short gaps.
Ever since Usagi decided that Mamoru should just "give up" on her, Mamoru had countless of nights dreaming about their past. All of them when they were happily together.
So his dream just now nagged at him for some reason. Was it a memory of the past too? It surely seems that way to him.
He couldn't have been wrong. The love he saw in her eyes were real. And it was a love all for him.
Until her very last breath, she was thinking about him. . . no moments before she died, she turned away towards Seiya. But no, it wasn't what was bothering him.
After all, destiny couldn't have changed after one look. No it wasn't Usagi last sight was Seiya that nagged at his soul.
Suddenly furrows creased on Mamoru's forehead as he remembered why he suddenly woke up.
Seiya had took Usagi closer to him and. . .
. . . and in his hand, something shone bright and silver. . .
Tomoe Hotaru had lost count of how many times her princess had been in their home. About three times a week for the past two and a half months, Tsukino Usagi would come visit her. But the two of them almost never talk at all. They just sat together for endless hours.
Hotaru thought back to the time she saw her walking down the street. The moment her gaze fell on Usagi, she turned around and stared directly back at her. At first, she thought her princess would turn away and run off. But after a while, Usagi did the exact opposite.
Usagi had run up to her and wrapped her arms around her small form. Suddenly, her princess was crying. Between sobs, she could hear her mumbling something about Chibi-Usa.
Tomoe Hotaru, also known as the Soldier of Destruction, Sailor Saturn regained her memories about a year ago. She was watching TV on her room when suddenly a sight of Tsukino Usagi who was standing next to the Three Lights filled the screen.
Sailor Saturn had always been standoffish to senshi business. She wasn't an inner senshi, nor exactly part of the outers, for she had always had a different mission herself. While, the inner senshis are sworn to protect their Moon princess, and the outer senshi to keep the peace in the Outer Solar System, Sailor Saturn had always been meant to destroy.
Her ultimate power of destruction could devastate a planet into ruins. That was destiny, she had told herself. She didn't need bother with what was happening to other senshi's lives, even on what was happening on her princess's life. She'd show herself to the others when there'll be a threat to the world and they would need her power. Until then, she'll continue to enjoy her life.
But after being engulfed in the arms of her crying princess, Hotaru had felt remorse for not rejoining the other senshi before.
Hotaru, as Sailor Saturn had an idea to the conflict within their princess, but as a child of eleven years, she had no idea on what Usagi must be feeling. She was too young to know the pain searing in Usagi's heart, that is why she never pried.
And watching Tsukino Usagi sitting quietly next to her, Hotaru knew why Usagi always came to her even if she never had something to say.
"It's because you never ask any questions that I do not know how to answer, Hotaru-chan," Usagi said suddenly as if she heard Hotaru's thoughts. "Questions that the other senshis insist on posing on me."
Hotaru didn't know how to reply. In the months, Usagi had been visiting, she never really spoke more than a greeting. How could she answer her without seeming to betray the other senshis?
Suddenly, they were interrupted when a figure appeared in the doorway of the living room.
"Otousan."
Tomoe Souichi, still looking handsome even in his fifties, strode into the room and gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead. He then turned to Usagi and smiled. "Kon'nichi wa, Usagi-chan."
Usagi smiled back. Her smile was rare these past few months. "Kon'nich wa, Tomoe-sensei."
Dr. Tomoe nodded and excused himself so the two could go back to their talk. Even after he was gone, Hotaru continued to stare at the doorway where her dad had disappeared into.
"My first life in this planet, I was not able to have happiness. Okaasan died when I was little. Otousan was never there for me when I was growing up either because he was possessed by the Death Busters. Until Chibi-Usa came along, I never knew how to smile."
Hotaru turned back to Usagi who was silently but intently listening to her. "Demo it's different now. I'm happy to have been given a chance to be with my otousan again. I want to be able to keep this happiness for a long long time that was why I didn't want to get involve before to what was happening. I didn't want to take Sailor Saturn's responsibility just yet. I didn't want to be a senshi for the time being."
Even if her life is different now, even if she's happy now, Hoatru is still after all the indifferent Sailor Saturn. Smiling was something reserved to her family but she couldn't help but smile at Usagi.
"Yet I'm still Sailor Saturn," she continued. "No matter what form I take I'm still her. Just like the others, they even with hew names and identities, they're still the sailor senshis who live to protect you. Please don't misunderstand them, hime-sama, they desire only for your happiness."
"What makes them sure that I'm not happy?"
"Are you? Are you truly and completely happy?"
Usagi didn't answer.
"They're not sure. . . I'm not sure. It's just that even if you deny it, you're still Serenity, our Moon princess."
Hotaru thought she saw a wavering feeling in her eyes but Usagi had closed her eyes before she can read more to it. Usagi leaned back on the couch. Obviously, she didn't want to hear more.
Serenity-hime-sama, why do you keep on shutting us out? Hotaru asked her silently.
"Hotaru-chan."
Hotaru's eyes widened in anticipation. Had her princess read her mind again?
Slowly, Usagi opened her eyes and stared back at Hotaru. They shone with genuine warmth.
"Arigatou."
There was a girl who was as naïve as she was beautiful.
She had big bright blue eyes that haunted Seiya anywhere he went. Big blue eyes that would stare back at his with so much innocence that it never ceases to amaze him how she could never read through his yearning gazes.
He'd always known it was an unrequited love with her. She loved another man, she'd said so many times. But Seiya had found it impossible not to love her.
But it hurt, oh did it hurt to see her longing for no one but a man who didn't seemed to care for her feelings at all.
He had honestly tried to convince himself that the other man didn't deserve her. And that one day, he would be able to make her look at him and really see him.
But when he saw how her eyes lit up with the thought of being reunited with her love, he knew he had lost.
But the love he felt was stubborn and refused to give up. So without thinking, he impulsively grabbed his last chance.
He had not been wrong in his decision. Years after, he met her again and this time, he won.
He knew he won when a nine-year old gleeful Tsukino Usagi threw her arms around him and gave his cheek a kiss.
He knew no one could ever take her away when at twelve, she agreed on going out with him.
He knew they were meant to be together the night Usagi raced home, crying. She didn't have to tell him, he knew that she had decided to choose him over Chiba Mamoru.
Now weeks after that fateful New Year's day, Kou Seiya began to doubt it all.
Only now did he realize that at nine, after kissing him, Usagi had turned to Taiki and Yaten to give them each a kiss too. Only now did he consider that at twelve, Usagi had first said they should just be friends. Only now did he acknowledge that even after deciding to be with him, Usagi was still not completely happy.
He loved her, loved her more than anything in this planet, so why can't he give her happiness?
Seiya fell back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Even if he wanted to, he could no longer suppress the nagging emotions in him.
A memory so distant that it seemed not real came back to haunt him.
"I'm serious about yesterday. After this concert, I'll sweep you away. I like you that much. I wanted to let you know this much. Now I can go all out for the final concert. I hope you can meet your boyfriend soon."
"Seiya, I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. But I wish I could have met you much sooner."
And that wish, instead for her happiness was what he grabbed as his last chance.
"So how is Usako?"
"The princess is fine," Hotaru answered quietly.
Hotaru watched as Mamoru nodded and tried to smile. "That's great, I hope she's enjoying high school."
Hotaru shrugged, she didn't know how to answer that. Usagi never talked when she's visiting anyway. This afternoon was the first time she spoke more than three sentences.
A long silence followed.
Finally, Hotaru decided to break the silence to tell her prince the reason of her visit.
"I saw Chibi-Usa in a vision."
Mamoru froze.
"Today. I saw it. A vision of her, running around the halls of Crystal Palace." Hotaru closed her eyes and tried to remember every detail of her vision.
"Just as ōjo-sama was leaving, she reached over to touch my hand. That was when I saw Chibi-Usa. She's so grown up, about fourteen or so. She was running down the halls, seemingly in a hurry to meet someone. When she reached the gardens, she had stopped to catch her breath. Then as if someone called out to her, she looked up and her eyes brightened with delight. She smiled happily and then-"
"And then what?"
"And then ōjo-sama pulled her hand away." Hotaru opened her eyes and turned to see her prince's disappointed look. "Gomen nasai, demo, I think ōjo-sama saw the vision too."
"So she pulled away because she didn't like what she saw?" Mamoru asked dully.
"Iie. Ōjo-sama pulled away because she knew I was seeing the vision too. She was afraid for me to see it because it wasn't really a vision, it was a dream. Her dream, a dream suppressed and buried in the deepest corner of her heart."
For the second time that day, Tomoe Hotaru smiled. But this smile was not tinted with bitter sweetness, this smile was painted with hope. Hope that she wished to shower her prince. Maybe then he won't be faking his smiles after.
"Ōjo-sama is beginning to understand. It won't be long before she realizes what she really wants. It won't be long before she knows what would make her truly happy."
He had the most vivid dream last night. It was as if it had been a memory from before. And after he woke up, Tsukino Shringgo realized that it was indeed a memory.
A memory that it seemed he was never suppose to remember. Yet he did, probably because he was suppose to right the mistakes of the past.
So with a determined heart, he took out a precious gift from his locked bureau.
It was a gift that represented a promise of happiness to Usagi.
But he thought Usagi found a new happiness. And he had selfishly let her because this newfound happiness was more much simpler. This new happiness would never take her away from him again.
But the blank look in Usagi's eyes, the pitiful attempts of smiles in her face made him realize that there was only one happiness Usagi wanted and needed.
Tsukino Shringgo opened his palm and for the first time in almost three decades, he stared down at the glittering object in his hand.
An object that held all memories of love. . . an object that symbolizes a promise of happiness. . . those memories and promise may have been forgotten. . . but it never disappeared. . . it had always been with him, waiting for the day he was to return it to Usagi.
And today, that day has come.
Tsukino Usagi stared absentmindedly on the book before her. She had been trying to read the same paragraph for the last thirty minutes but her mind kept wandering to other things.
Here she was, almost sixteen, a high school student for almost a month now and yet she still doesn't know what she wanted for herself.
It was stupid to equally want something and yet not want it at the same time.
For if she tries to be honest to herself, she does find herself wishing to be with her friends again sometimes. She misses them all. Ami. . . Makoto. . . Minako. . . even Rei gave up TA school to enter Juuban High School just to be near her even if all she ever does was to avoid them.
She knew they were hurt with her attitude. And they've been many a time, she wanted to run up to Rei, hug her and apologize for everything but she never did.
But Haruka and Michiru have their own ways, they are more forceful. There been countless of times when the two would corner her and make her understand. She was Serenity, always have been, always will be. . .
How many times did she wished her lips could move and tell them that she does want to understand. Yet her lips did.
And there have been days all she wanted was to run to Setsuna and ask her to open the gates of time so she can find the answers to her endless questions. But she was scared so instead she'll run to Hotaru's home where a little eleven year old never questioned her thoughts.
But after seeing Chibi-Usa yesterday in her dream, her vision, she couldn't erase that picture in her mind.
Before in her last life, her dream was to marry Mamoru. Now her dream is to see Chibi-Usa all grown up and happy? Didn't that entail marrying Mamoru as well?
Closing her eyes, Usagi let her heart speak honestly for once. She does miss Mamoru. In her secret and put-away heart was a steadfast image of him.
The image wasn't of Endymion. . . it wasn't Tuxedo Mask either. . . it was just him. . . Chiba Mamoru, the man who still causes her sleepless nights and endless pain. . .
A soft knock on her door suddenly pulled Usagi out of her reverie.
"Uagi-chan?" Her father called from the other side of the door.
Taking a deep breath, Usagi tried to compose herself. Lately, her father had been noticing her strange behavior. She didn't want him to worry more as he is now.
"Come in, otousan. It's open," Usagi said as cheerfully as she could.
The door opened and Tsukino Shringgo appeared. From the moment he stepped inside, Usagi could feel something different in his aura.
Usagi sat up straighter in her bed. "Nani yo, otousan?"
Her father smiled mysteriously. He sat next to her on the bed.
"Usagi-chan," he began after a long while. "How come the other girls haven't been visiting you lately?"
Usagi averted her gaze from her father. "Nande monai, otousan." Usagi bit her lip, "They're just all busy, you know? Ami-chan's into the computer club, Mako-chan's in the cooking club. . . High school is quite tiresome."
"How about you, have you joined any club?"
"Iie. Accompanying the Three Lights takes up most of my time already."
"Wakatta." There was a pause before Tsukio Shringgo added, "Are you happy?"
Usagi quickly turned back to her father, her eyes widening. "Nani?"
Tsukino Shringgo smiled in understanding. He turned away to stare at the wall in front of him. "It's just that you remind me of a girl who was always around this idol group. She enjoys their company but I know deep in her heart, she longed for something more. . . yearned for someone else. . ."
Usagi's breath became heavier and faster. Could it be possible that her dad was talking about. . .
". . . it was my oneechan."
Usagi was sure that time stopped when her father said that. It was a long while before she found her voice again.
"You never had a sister, otousan."
Tsukino Shringgo turned back to Usagi. "No, I had a one. And even if I used to annoy her, she had been a very special girl to me, and not only to me and my parents but to certain young man too." Mr. Tsukino then suddenly changes the subject, "Give me your hand."
Usagi had no choice but to give her father her hand.
He didn't say a word as he pushed her hand back, he only told her to open her palm.
When she did, she gasped.
Nestled in her palm was a golden ring designed with a heart-shaped gem. The way it glittered, it was probably a diamond that complimented the little ones that surrounded the heart.
It was the ring that Mamoru placed on her fourth finger the day he left for America.
Usagi didn't realize she was crying until she felt the salty taste of tears on her lips. She looked up to her father who was close to tears himself.
"Many many years ago, a young man gave that ring to my sister. I don't know if she realized the extent of what the ring meant but I know at very least that she knew it symbolizes a promise happiness that one day he would come."
A single tear coursed down Mr. Tsukino's cheek. "I think I've always known that my sister had always meant for greater things. You'll it know at once for she radiates a light that is not human. Her heart was even bigger than this planet. But her love was always been reserved to only one man."
"I never knew what happened, all I knew was one day, I was walking down the hall of our house when her room suddenly emitted in silver light. I couldn't help myself, I peeked into her room and saw as her dresses and stuffed animals disappear one by one. Each and every framed picture vanished in silver light. Everything in the room evaporated. And for some reason, my memories of her were erased too. It was as if she never existed at all. And if I had turned around and walked away a second earlier, I might never have seen another light flashed. But I saw it and curious as I was, I went to it and picked the source of light."
Mr. Tsukino smiled through his tears. "It was that ring. And the moment I had touched it, a flood of distant memories flowed into my mind. Even if I couldn't remember her perfectly, I knew I had a sister. And that day, I promised myself that someday I would return her ring."
Usagi's sobs became harsher; she couldn't stop herself from trembling. Her dad pulled her to him, soothing her cries.
"Watching you grow up, I could almost picture my sister as you. But I didn't want to lose her again, so I kept that ring to myself. What I didn't realize was that you need your happiness too."
Mr. Tsukino pulled Usagi away so he can stare down at her. "The decision is still up to you. But promise me, whatever you choose you'll be happy."
Usagi bit her lip.
"Promise me, onegai. . . oneechan," Tsukino Shringgo begged.
Usagi threw her arms around her dad. . .
"I promise, Shringgo."
It has been an hour since Uagi's father had left her room. After he left, she cried to herself until there were no more tears left in her eyes.
Opening her palm, she stared once more at the ring Mamoru gave her so many years ago.
She may be a naïve girl then, but she no longer was. Before she didn't know what was so exciting about the ring. But now, she knew exactly what Mamoru's intentions meant.
Letting her heart decide for once, Usagi slipped the ring into her left fourth ringer.
Even if she was still confused about lots of things, her heart was made up. Even if there was no one to witness her decision-
"I haven't seen that ring for a long long time."
Usagi jerked her head towards the door where Seiya was standing. He had a small sad smile.
"Seiya, watashi-"
"Twenty seven years if I calculated it correctly. It has been twenty seven years since I last saw that ring on you."
He stepped into the room and sat on the foot of her bed. "I never showed interest in your ring before, you'd think I was blind. But the truth was, I've always noticed it. You didn't have to tell me who it was from, I knew it was from Mamoru."
"Seiya?"
"What surprises me is to see that ring again after all these years after all didn't you wished that all trace of your existence to disappear?"
"Seiya, what are you talking about? You're scaring me."
In front of Usagi's very eyes, Seiya pulled from his subspace pocket the last thing she thought she would see right now.
Its pure silver light made Usagi realize she wasn't imagining things.
"Ginzuishou."
A/N: don't you just hate cliffhangers? I know I do! But this is my first story, and I want to write one. For the other chaps, I wouldn't call them cliffhangers exactly, after all they were left there for you readers to speculate. But in this chap, the last scene was intended to leave you. . . *grins sheepishly* hanging. anyways, do review min'na and lash out your complains to me.
Nani yo - What is it?
Nande monai - It's nothing
Wakatta - I see.
So watch out for more revelations in chap 16, A Crystal Clear Destiny. Hope the NA dub wouldn't mind if I borrow the title. Anyways, Happy Valentines Day min'na. Love you all! Ja ne!