Disclaimer - The characters and the situations are owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. I have only borrowed them for my own enjoyment. No credit changing or bartering operations took place. My thanks to Mona, Jackie and Molly. Comments would be welcome, but no flames please.

The time is around nine years after the original Zahn Trilogy

The Awakening - Chapter 5

Luke surfaced from one of the best dreams he'd had in his life. It had been so realistic that he'd almost believed he really had held Mara Jade in his arms. He moved languorously and stretched like a basking sun lizard. It was then he noticed the head-shaped indentation in the pillow next to his. Luke's blood froze as his mind grasped the pertinent facts. Oh stars of Alderaan! It hadn't been a dream at all. He propelled himself into a sitting position as his muscles finally obeyed his commands. "Sithspawn!" He dropped his head into his hands and prayed to the Force to guide him. 'This was all one big mess. What the hell had possessed him?'

He'd felt the call of the Force summoning him across the galaxy. And here he was. Perhaps Mara was right, and it was about giving his Jedi apprentices on Yavin the courage to take that final step on their own. He had complete faith in their abilities to take over the running of the Yavin facility. He needed to be back out among the stars where he belonged. What part would Mara play in his new life? To go from enemies to friends was one thing, but to jump into bed together with the apparent speed they'd just done without building a relationship was the height of folly. 'But we do have a relationship,' he told himself. 'We have a ten year relationship.' Was there any hint before that they could tear each other to pieces with their passion? The entire galaxy could have gone belly-up last night and neither of them would have known or cared.

'Sith, what a mess.'

Luke eased from the bed and padded over to where his robe lay over a chair. It was time to see what the lady herself thought. She was still in the apartment – that was something. If she tried to run him through with what used to be his own saber, he wouldn't be at all surprised.

'Tread gently, Luke, lest you tread on her dreams.'

Luke stopped in shock. That voice, it seemed familiar somehow and yet completely strange to him. It was a woman's voice. Older and deeper than Mara's, but had he heard it in reality or had he heard it in his dreams?

"Who are you?" he whispered, but there was nothing. He stretched out with the Force and caught a wisp of a faded presence long gone. But he also caught the churning of a mind far closer and very much alive. Mara - he had to face her.

Luke stood at the open window and watched. Mara sat gazing out towards the spectacular view, but he suspected she wasn't seeing it. She was dressed in one of his old shirts, he realised. Her arms surrounded her knees, which were drawn into her chest, her legs smooth and bare. Pushing the door ajar, he took a step forward and hungrily eyed her slim figure. Even after all they had shared during the night, the sight of her still moved him. Her hair tumbled wildly over the white of his shirt, curling to her waist.

'Living fire,' he mused.

"We shouldn't have done what we did, Skywalker."

He knew she had felt his presence; they were so close in the Force she was bound to.

"So you think we made a mistake?"

"Don't you?"

Luke walked forward and traced the rising sun with his eyes. "No, but you do."

"We were friends, Luke."

'Were,' she'd said.

"We still are."

"It's different. We've taken a step too far."

"In your opinion." Luke countered doggedly.

"In my opinion. I cannot believe you didn't have second thoughts when you awoke?"

His silence confirmed it, and her mouth firmed just a little. "It won't happen again."

"Now wait a minute Mara! We need to talk this out."

"No! You wait." She jumped anxiously to her feet.

Luke put his hand on her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she spat viciously, trying vainly to shrug him off.

"Mara," his voice gentle and somehow - sad. "This is more than you or me. This is the Force at work." He closed his eyes. "I can feel it." His hand started to rub gently on her shoulder. Mara felt it burn through the thin cotton. This feeling between them - it was still there. She had to get away from him.

"I refuse to be in anyone's power ever again, Luke," she said coldly. Stars she didn't feel cold, she felt hot and fevered as his touch awoke the sleeping desire within. "I let the Emperor control me once."

"I'm not the Emperor, "Luke's voice rose, a touch of irritation creeping into it.

Mara dipped her head a little. "I know you're not, but the Force is very powerful in you."

"And also in you."

"I refuse to accept that. I am a Force Adept, yes, but my power is weak in comparison to many others."

"Rubbish! Stop fooling yourself. What we shared last night, was spectacular I agree, but the feeling, the strong emotions between us have always been present. Even Callista…." He paused slightly before carrying on. "Callista always thought there were things unresolved between us. We were never meant to be, Callista and I, but I won't believe you and I cannot have a meaningful relationship. You have the power and the skills to become a great Jedi. You are my equal, not my subordinate. You, Mara Jade, are very strong in the Force. The Emperor kept your powers undeveloped unless they were of use to him. He used you for his own selfish ends. If you'd challenged him in any way, he would have neutralised that threat. In my opinion, he's succeeding long after his death."

Mara's face didn't change at all, but Luke felt the turbulence in her mind and the resentment at his words. Carefully, he turned her to face him and brought her into the circle of his embrace. Resting his chin on her hair, he sent as much reassurance through the Force as he could. For he loved her, he knew that, but she wasn't ready to hear it - not yet.

He felt her relax but not relent, so he tipped her face up to his and lowered his mouth onto hers. Mara didn't resist as he parted her lips, letting his tongue enter her mouth and caress her own. The kiss grew in intensity and Luke's hands began to roam over her body, finally sliding the shirt over her shoulders, where it pooled in a puddle of white at their feet.

Mara couldn't help but respond, her hands clutching at his robe, seeking the warm skin beneath. 'Weak,' her mind screamed at her. But its pitiful attempts to reassert its independence fell under the assault of Luke's mouth and hands. Lifting Mara into his arms he carried her back to the bed and lost himself in her warmth. When he woke up, he was alone. Mara had gone.

Solo Apartment

The face of the woman on Leia's holo-imager was white, but composed. Mara Jade at her most imperious.

"I have to leave on urgent business. I won't be able to meet you tomorrow for a workout."

Leia felt the shift in the emotions. Something wasn't quite right. Mara's face held a remote expression, but her eyes glittered as if her mind was fighting with itself.

"That's a pity; I was looking forward to it. Oh, and by the way, how did you get on with my brother last night?"

If it was possible, Mara's face went whiter. "We talked."

"And?"

"We argued."

'I think more than that happened, especially the way you are acting.' Leia sighed. Honestly, Mara was worse than her brother when he got all closemouthed. "Shame, because you and Luke have so much in common and you work well together." 'Do I tell her they're beginning to look like two halves of a single whole?'

"Our ideas differ in certain areas."

"Like what?"

"I can't talk about it," Mara snapped furiously, her eyes shooting green laser bolts at Leia.

"Can't or won't?" Leia persisted, determined not to be cowed by Mara. She had a feeling her brother's future might depend upon it.

A flicker of pain crossed her face. "Trust me, I can't. Goodbye, Leia - may the Force be with you."

Leia watched dumbly as the image disappeared and Mara Jade vanished. "Luke!" She muttered. If Mara was leaving, then what kind of a state was Luke in?

"Han, I'm going round to Luke's. That was Mara; she's heading off planet."

"Now?"

His wife nodded.

"Oh boy, this is not good. You get to Luke's and bring him back for supper if you can."

Leia grinned at her husband, despite her anxiety, grabbed her cloak and left the apartment.

Luke's Apartment

Moving like an old man, Luke dressed himself slowly in his traditional Jedi blacks. Last night had been wonderful, but he should have known it wouldn't last. Nothing ever did in his life. His competence to serve the New Republic through his Force ability was the one constant; the love of his sister another. In spite of everything he still tried to dream. He had made a major decision. He was not going back to Yavin - yet. He'd checked in with them only an hour ago and informed them he was going to mediate in some disputes for the New Republic. He did not tell them where - he didn't know where.

The door com chimed and he recognised the signature in the Force of his expected visitor. Leia knew that Mara had gone. How much else she knew - that was another question.

He slid open the door and watched her as she stared at him, looking for signs that he was hurting. Luke sighed deeply to himself. Of course he was hurting, but he was used to that by now. He had never expected anyone as beautiful as Mara Jade would come to love him. He was Luke, the Farmboy turned Jedi. He was okay to have as a friend, but not suitable material as a lover. Something always got lost in the transition of his hopes to reality.

"Luke!" was all Leia said and held out her arms. The Jedi Master felt a strange prickling in his eyes and was astonished to find tears blurring his view. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried – not even when Beru and Owen Lars had been murdered leaving him alone in a frighteningly large galaxy had he cried. He crossed to his sister and buried himself in her warm embrace.

"Oh Luke," Leia comforted. "What happened? I'm here to listen if you are ready to tell me. If not, I'll wait until you are."

Luke clung, thankful that his twin was a woman of great heart and compassion and not the soulless politician her enemies made her out to be. He lifted his head and smiled at her, but it was a tired grimace rather than his usual grin of sunny optimism. Leia stifled a feeling of disquiet. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen that grin. Mara had been right. Her brother was unhappy and she'd been too caught up in her own life to see it. Luke being Luke hadn't wanted to bother her and had kept his unhappiness to himself. Most of the time he was neither one nor the other. Neither happy or sad - he just existed and went through his life doing what he had to do.

"I'm fine, Leia. Mara has made her choice. I won't give up hope, but neither do I expect her to change her mind. She's very special, Leia, with a strength in the Force that's truly remarkable. She's been used and lied to for so long that she's unable to trust."

"Mara trusts you," Leia said with certainty.

"As much as she trusts anyone," Luke answered quietly.

"No, Luke. Mara trusts you. She said to me that you'd saved her soul."

Luke's face shuttered and he turned away from Leia. He paused in front of the window and placed his hands on the sill. It was only then that Leia noticed that his knuckles were white and his shoulders shook.

"Luke…."

"When I gave her my soul to save, Leia, she gave me it back."

'Have patience, young Jedi.' The voice came out of nowhere, a mere whisper of sound like a breath on the breeze. Luke's head jerked up and his eyes darted about the room.

"Who are you? Where are you?" he called urgently into the air.

"Luke?" Leia eyed her brother.

"Didn't you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"The voice. I heard a voice. I heard it earlier this morning."

Leia shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't hear anything. I felt a puff of wind, but the window is open. Was it a Force user?"

"I think so." He liked the fact that his sister didn't assume he was madder than Joruus C'baoth had been. Having the occasional dead friend or relative appear to you helped the perspective the Jedi had about life. Even when you lost it, you weren't necessarily dead. "It's very faint, as if it's someone who's been gone a long time. Obi Wan could only visit me in my dreams at the end. He had to make the journey. I get the feeling this individual hasn't made the journey."

"Is it someone connected to us or to Mara?"

Luke's face lit up. "I hadn't thought about that. I have a feeling…" He looked at his sister. "I have a feeling… it has more to do with Mara," he mused slowly. Then his face fell. "But she's gone and I have no way of contacting her."

"Send a message to Karrde. He'll see she gets it."

"Good idea. I just don't know what I'll say to her."

"Trust in the Force and the right words will come, Luke."

"I have and they haven't come so far. Otherwise, Mara might still be here."

"What did happen between you and Mara, Luke?"

"More than I ever hoped and less than I'd dreamed about. I love her, I need her like a moisture farm needs rain to make things grow, but she's not ready and I'm not sure she ever will be."

"You slept together."

Luke coloured a little, but kept his chin up and his blue eyes fixed on his sister's steadfast brown ones. "That's my business and Mara's."

'Men!' Luke was being noble and discreet. He forgot she could read him like a holobook. They'd slept together. Leia wondered why she was so exasperated with her brother, after all she'd been wishing some action for him and Mara was an ideal candidate. She'd just decided to temporarily forget about the amount of emotional baggage the pair of them carried around with them constantly. 'I should have known.'

The Jade's Fire

The squat box-like astro-droid kept up his monotonous beeping until Mara flipped a switch and the machine went silent. Artoo Detoo was much better company, than this boxy monstrosity. Then a thought occurred to her. Someone was trying to contact her. "Blast!" She fumbled to flip the switch back on. She'd nearly missed an incoming message from Karrde. The droid blatted a pithy beep and Mara running out of patience, activated his off button again. She swivelled to face her communication console and faced the screen.

"Karrde?"

"Mara - this transmission just came for you. I'm sending it on."

"Thanks Karrde. Transmission accepted and received."

"You okay? I thought the Coruscant trip might have taken a little longer."

"It didn't," she replied brusquely. "I sent all the data resulting from the trip to the Wild Karrde."

"I received it. You did a professional job as always, Mara. What did Skywalker think of his delivery?"

Mara's face stiffened. "I gave that job to Faughan to deal with when I loaded the goods onto the Starry Ice. I wasn't able to run around after the Jedi Master." Her tone was cold.

Karrde picked a pad off his console and checked the data. "I didn't notice you'd passed that job on. I thought you preferred to deal with the Jedi Master yourself. Ah, so that's why he's coming to collect it tomorrow. It's top of the range too."

"Fine," she muttered, wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Talking about the Jedi Master was something she didn't want to do at that moment. "I'll be in touch…. Wait a minute. What do you mean top of the range?"

"He's bought himself a ship."

"One of the new Incom X-wings, I suppose."

"No, this one is quite a vehicle. It will carry a couple of X-Wings easily. I'll send you the data. "

"No, I…."

Her screen filled with the holo of a silver ship - sleek polished lines with a classic beauty. There were no ugly angles on this ship. Yet from it's specs she noticed it could withstand quite a pounding and contained a strong weapons complement.

"Quite something, eh?"

"So he isn't going back to Yavin," she murmured in surprise. "He's made a wise decision, for once."

"Keep in touch, Mara, I'll see you when you return from the corporate sector run. Oh, and read the transmission." His image flickered out and Mara was alone. Only the silent astro-droid got in the way of her thoughts. Switching it on, the droid whistled reproachfully at his mistress. "Make the suitable calculations for our jump to hyperspace." The droid set to and finally when Mara pulled the lever and the starlines disappeared did she finally let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

'Listen to him,'

Mara jumped in shock. She'd just heard a voice and it sounded like the one she had heard before. She stretched out with the Force and searched the ship. There was no one on board. Feeling distinctly rattled Mara transferred the transmission to her quarters and settled down to hear from whomever it was that had wanted to talk to her.

Luke's calm face appeared on the screen in front of her and her breath caught in her throat. A fresh wave of pain washed over her. She missed him. Stars, how she missed him! Her green eyes traced every aspect of his appearance - the cleft in his chin, the rebellious curl in his hair and his eyes… By the Force, those eyes. They were beautiful but they were old, she realised. Luke had seen more than he ever wanted to. They were also sad. He missed her too.

"Mara, my friend…"

'Friend! He still referred to her as a friend?

"I'm not sorry about what happened between us. This is not an apology, I don't consider myself to have anything to be sorry about." His pupils dilated and his eyes darkened to a storm tossed sea blue.

'Gamorrean! You made me want you. You made my body, my very bones ache for you. We crossed the line. You made me feel.'

"I would experience it all again if I had the choice and I give you fair warning. I'm not giving up on us. I can't lose you. Your friendship means too much to me. You understand me like no one else does. You can tell me the truth when all others are flattering to deceive. You give me the gift of your open-hearted clarity. I still mean to train you to the status of a full Jedi Knight someday. It is your heritage. The Emperor denied you what is rightfully yours. And Mara, I don't regret our lovemaking…."

"Sex," Mara screamed at the screen, the tears racing down her cheeks. "It was meaningless sex. A need to alleviate our frustrations, a basic human desire to…"

Almost as if he had known what her reaction would be, Luke tilted his head to one side and gave her the wry look she knew so well. "I know what you will say, Mara Jade. You will spout off a load of drivel about it being meaningless sex. If that was meaningless, I don't think I would survive sex with you that meant something. To me, it was lovemaking of the truest kind. I gave you my soul that night." He flushed a little. Talking about such things was not normally Luke's way. It was the farmboy in front of her eyes rather than the aloof, imperturbable Jedi Master.

Mara bowed her head and her shoulders slumped. Finally she gave into her pain. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why was walking away from the one man she loved in the galaxy, so hard?

Luke's voice continued to talk to her, but it was only a recording it wasn't him. "What I do regret is the strain it has placed on our relationship - the distance it has wedged between us. I miss you, Mara, so much."

Mara paused the recording, her grief and unhappiness plain to see on her ravaged face. She couldn't take any more. Why did he have to sound so damn sincere? Why did he make her think that the happy ending could happen for her too, when she knew that it all would turn out to be a lie?

'Listen to him, my daughter, listen to him.'

Mara's storm of weeping continued and it was as if someone was with her in her quarters, smoothing her hair and comforting her as if she was a small child. When she lifted her head, she was surprised to find she was on her own.

Lifting a trembling hand to restart the message, Mara assessed the face of the man on the screen. Luke's eyes were red and the expression on his face was one of complete desolation. Something precious had been taken from him.

She had to hear it all, everything he had to say to her.

"Mara…" he hesitated, "I've been hearing voices, specifically a woman's voice. I think it is somehow connected to you."

The voice and the feeling someone was with her. Luke had sensed it too.

"I think it…" he stopped and corrected himself. "I think she wants us to be together, Mara. Together we are stronger than we are apart. If you ever change your mind, I'll be waiting for you. Just call through the Force and I'll come, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. If you need me - I'll be there."

The holo-screen flickered and went black, leaving Mara with her eyes wide and her hand pressed to her mouth. She gave an admiring laugh, which changed midway into a sob. "Damn you, Jedi. Why did I know you would be so obstinate?"

'And you are tractable, my daughter?"

Mara's eyes narrowed. There it was again - that voice. This time she caught the tail end of a very faint tremor in the Force.

'My daughter.' The words loomed large in Mara's mind. She was no one's daughter. How could she be when she couldn't even remember her mother? Mara was not so naïve that she would assume she was suddenly being contacted by a voice from beyond the grave. More likely it was some form of affection from a dead Jedi. Why they would want her and Skywalker to continue with a liaison which could only end in disaster was beyond her?