Fanfic » Movies » Star Wars » The Awakening font size: (+) : (-) Author: Ash Darklighter 1. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 56. Chapter 67. Chapter 78. Chapter 89. Chapter 910. Chapter 1011. chapter 1112. Chapter 1213. Chapter 1314. Chapter 1415. Chapter 1516. Chapter 16 - ConclusionNC-17 - English - Romance - Reviews: 144 - Publish date: 11-13-00 - Updated: 03-04-01 storyid: 111438
Disclaimer - The characters and situations used in this story are the property of Lucasfilm Ltd. My thanks to Jackie, Mona and Molly. This story would not have happened without them.
Chapter 10
The late afternoon sun filtered through the small windows set high in the prefabricated hospital building. Mara curved herself closer into Luke's side. He was warm and Mara moved her head seeking the bare skin at his neck. The unwillingness to open her eyes stemmed from the fact she was with Luke and while she was lying here, everything was okay. Her eyes snapped open. Something, she amended that, someone was in the room with them. Her hand moved slowly to where her saber hung from her belt. Whatever happened, she must protect Luke.
"Easy, daughter."
Mara's eyes focused on a shimmering figure standing at the foot of the bed. Pushing herself upright she stole a quick glance at Luke, but he was still deep in his healing trance. Mara stared curiously at the figure. The woman was dressed in the garb of a Jedi, but her old-fashioned hairstyle was one popular during the height of the Old Republic. Mara felt caught, strangely defensive and a little embarrassed. Slowly, she swung her legs around and placed them on the floor, and bending down; she retrieved her black knee length boots and pulled them on.
Green eyes met green eyes.
"And you are?" Mara's chin tilted at the defiant attitude with which she faced the world at large.
"You know who I am," the vision said patiently.
"I do?" Mara's tone turned sarcastic. "Then I'm the lucky one."
"Stretch out with your feelings. You know it to be true."
Mara groaned. "Oh, not that old chak root. Sith, you sound like him." She waved an airy hand towards Luke's recumbent figure. "You are saying you're my 'Mother', I take it?" The words came out low and bitter. Mara couldn't help it. She didn't blame her parents for what had happened to her, others had had it far worse. Luke, for instance. Still, part of her resented that the woman in front of her had been unable to stop the Emperor from taking her. Part of her longed to have known a normal childhood.
"I was once what you are becoming. Or should I say that you have become."
"Bitter and twisted?"
Mara caught a slight smile flicker across the spirit's beautiful face. "No - a Jedi Knight of a rare and true calibre."
Mara dropped her head in apology. "I'm sorry." She cursed her vicious tongue. She'd nearly driven Luke away from her with it - or at least she'd tried to. Mara gave him a quick darting glance from the corner of her eye. If he were standing with her, would he still want her?
The woman watched Mara carefully, a look of understanding on her face. "You've had a lot to contend with recently. I do understand. I've suffered many hours of soul searching myself."
Mara's green eyes darkened with remembered pain as again she heard Luke's words. 'I gave you my soul that night.'
"It's been a big step for you to take. Belief is just along the path from imagination and taking that final step along the worn way to the Jedi ideal is not easy. You will doubt and despair, but you are strong. I could never have hoped for you to be as you are. The Force kept your heart pure and true - for that I give many thanks." The spirit's eyes seemed to be full of moisture.
Mara shrugged, her expression non-committal. "I am what my life has made me and yes, it's been hard. I know hearing things is part of a Jedi's existence and I've had my fair share of voices in my head. Including…." her voice darkened, "Palpatine. Couldn't you have picked another way?"
The spirit sighed and held out her hands in appeal. "I didn't have the strength. It was only when you made the connection with the young Master that I was able to return from the void. Only the two of you together have the power to send me back. It's good to finally see you with him. I was doomed to never undertake the journey because I lost you," Her voice grew fainter. "May the Force be with you."
Mara moved towards the woman and watched as the vision faded from her sight.
"But who am I?" Mara asked. "Please tell me that. Who am I?"
Her mother's face grew more transparent. "Anyone you want to be. Forge your own destiny, my daughter. I love you." Finally, she disappeared completely.
"What kind of an answer was that?" Mara snarled into the nothingness, but she was alone, apart from Luke, still motionless in his healing trance. Mara crossed to the bed and sank down into the chair next to it. "I blew it, Luke," she whispered, clutching at his hand like a lifeline. "The voice we heard. It was my Mother's voice, but I snapped at her, drove her away, like I did you. It wasn't long enough to know who she was. When will I learn? I'm not worthy of the Jedi order - I'm not worthy of you." She put her head down on the bed and wept tears of genuine grief for the loss of the Mother she'd never had. The first inkling she had that she'd awakened Luke from his trance was a feather touch on her red-gold head. Fingers tangled in her wild hair, threading through it. With his touch she felt the love and tenderness surround every part of her. Luke hadn't said the actual words, but then again neither had she.
"Luke!" Her head lifted and her tearstained face gazed into the bright blue gaze of the Jedi Master. In all her years of knocking round the galaxy, she'd never seen anyone with eyes that clear colour. It was the sky above the sands of Tatooine, the seas on Chad during high summer, and the colour of the most precious Corusca gem - a pure glistening crystalline blue.
"Don't cry, I can't bear to see you cry." His hand lifted and with a gentle finger traced the path of the tears on her soft cheek. With his thumb he brushed her lips. Mara's mouth hung slightly open, soft and vulnerable like the velvety petals of a flower. As if drawn by some unknown power, Luke's hand curved into her hair and drew her mouth to his. It was like being burned, scorched by sheer passion. His mouth moving firmly on her parted lips. Too many sensations to count rushed through her at the moment of contact as every nerve ending pulsed with awareness. Pleasure rippled through her body at the gentle movement of his mouth upon hers. The kiss went on and on, and Mara felt dizzy by the time she needed to pause for breath.
Reluctantly, Luke pulled his lips from hers and closed his eyes in a prayer to the powers that let him experience so much feeling. Mara's parted lips seemed to draw him to her; they were soft, inviting and wet. He traced her beautiful features with tired eyes. Mara too had dark circles under her eyes. 'Probably worrying over me', he thought. Her glorious hair straggled untidily out of her thick braid, but to him, she'd never looked more beautiful; tearstains smudged over her soft, grimy cheek.
"Why don't you think you're worthy, Mara? Tell me." Luke shifted a little in the bed and pulled her down to lie beside him, curving her head into his shoulder. "Tell me, Mara. But before you start running yourself down, I want you to know that I won't allow you to do that, do you hear? The Force radiates within you; the light is there in your soul. Why the tears, Mara?"
It wasn't an order and somehow Mara found herself talking. "I saw an apparition."
"A person outlined in a blue shimmery light that you could see through - kinda transparent?"
"Yes," Mara blinked in surprise. "How did you know?"
"Obi Wan."
"Obi Wan what?"
Luke grinned and tucked her head firmly under his chin, which was difficult to do as he was under the covers and she was on top of them.
"Obi Wan used to appear to me. It was like a hologram message, but you knew the person was not of this life. Once when I was lost in a Hoth blizzard, another time on Dagobah. The weirdest was when I woke up and found him on the end of my flotation bed."
"Flotation bed! Where?"
"Medicentre on Home One after the battle of Endor." His voice was meek.
Mara twisted her head round to glare at him. "You end up in these places far too often for my peace of mind, Skywalker."
"Hey, what can I say? Now talk, Jade."
"This figure appeared and we talked," Mara said as she made herself comfortable under his chin again.
"Talked?"
"Well, I snapped at her, lost my temper a bit."
"A bit."
Mara twisted her head around again. "Yes, just a bit," her eyes shot laser bolts at him, then fell. "I tried to drive her away," she mumbled. "Like I tried to do to you."
"You'll never get rid of me, Jade. I'm your friend - remember? She'll understand."
"You think so?"
"I did. Didn't I?" Luke's voice turned a little flat and there was a subtle shifting between their Force bond. "Thanks for coming after me, by the way. I owe you one."
Mara sat up, exasperation etched on her features. "Luke." She drew his name out over several syllables in the way she'd perfected over the years. "You don't owe me anything. I told you. I was returning the honour you gave me with your trust and friendship. Genuine friends don't keep score." She picked up his real hand and rubbed it against her cheek. "I came because I wanted to - because I had to."
"Why did you have to come?" Luke sat up, his covers in disarray and stared straight into her eyes.
Mara's tongue moistened suddenly dry lips and Luke's eyes zeroed in on the tell tale movement "I came because…" she whispered. "I came because I lo…"
The door hissed open and Mara leapt off the bed, but Luke refused to let go her hand, so she was in the undignified position of trying to free herself from a very determined, fast recovering Jedi Master. Kam Solusar stood at the door, masking a grin.
"Let go, Skywalker," Mara gritted. "Or you'll need another new hand."
Luke immediately let go and watched with a wicked glint in his eye as Mara fought to control her balance. Kam chuckled, and Mara levelled at him one of her death glares.
"You're looking better, Master Skywalker."
Luke grinned, "Feeling better too, but forget the Master Skywalker stuff. Just call me Luke, for Sith's sake. It's great what twenty-two hours in a healing trance can do for you."
Mara snorted. "Try forty-four hours in a healing trance, farmboy."
Luke lay back, his arms behind his head. "So I lost a day."
Kam turned to Mara. "There's a message for you from Coruscant and Luke, you still need to rest."
"I've been resting for forty-four hours," he protested.
"Maybe so, but according to those in the know, you didn't sleep at all, or rest, for an entire week. Our chief Jedi Medical Officer, Cilghal, insists on it. Have you ever seen a Mon Calamari mad?"
Mara shook her head and sighed. "No, I don't think he has, but he's seen me really mad, and I'm more frightening."
"Okay," Luke gave in with surprising swiftness and Mara raised an eyebrow in Kam's direction. What was the wily Jedi Master up to? She watched as he obediently closed his eyes and within minutes, Luke was fast asleep.
"Well," she muttered.
"He's a lot better," Kam commented thoughtfully.
"Yeah, nearly well enough to argue," she mumbled irritably. "But it shows how unwell he's really been. Nothing would keep Luke Skywalker in that bed if he were all right."
'Not even you?', thought Kam to himself.
"My message?"
"In the temporary Comm Centre. It's this way. It's from Councillor Organa Solo."
"Checking up on him."
"We kept the holo-reporters out of this. They think Luke is resting, not hurt. He's not seriously hurt after all."
Mara stopped and faced Kam in the narrow corridor. "He could have been. Luke was very lucky. He collapsed because he had no strength left. He went without sleep and often without food while helping here. He'd nothing left to fight with. The man was completely exhausted. All right, he wasn't hurt in a saber fight or battling a dark Jedi, but he was still killing himself."
"It's good he has you to look out for him, Jade. He needs a friend," Kam told her succinctly.
Mara gave him a hunted look from wary green eyes and vanished into the Comm centre.
The place was deserted as Mara tapped into the codes to return the call. She didn't have to wait long before Leia's worried face appeared on the screen. "Mara, is he okay?"
"Sure, a bang on the head, a sprained ankle, no sleep for a week and not enough rations. Yeah, he's fine. All situations normal."
"You being ironic, Mara?"
Mara's face softened and the worry lines smoothed from her brow. "He's fine. Exactly as I told you. In fact, he's sleeping this very minute. He has a hard head - shouldn't addle his wits more than they're currently addled."
"What did you do - knock him out?"
"No, I just threatened him and he gave in."
"That bad, huh?"
"He's your brother and Skywalker stubbornness seems to go more with the male gene pool."
Han's face peered over his wife's shoulder. "I heard that. If you want stubborn, have you met the female Skywalker twin?"
"I believe I have. Listen, he's fine. I'll keep a close eye on him and see he doesn't do anything stupid."
Han put one hand on Leia's shoulder and leaned in as close to the monitor as he could get. "Don't you do anything stupid either, Jade." His eyes for once were serious.
"Was he pleased to see you?" Leia asked.
Mara's eyes darted nervously away for a moment before returning to face Luke's sister. "I think so. Thought he was seeing things for a while."
"Don't run out on him this time, Jade," Han warned. "Look what a mess he got himself into."
"Han, shush!" Leia murmured. "Just tell him I love him, and I want to see him home as soon as he's fit to travel. Oh, and Mara… Look after him."
Mara returned to the Skipray to check on the emergency medpac in the small craft. She might have a bacta wrap there. It would help with Luke's ankle. Most of his burns had healed, but she still had some synth-flesh to spare. Might as well donate it to the hospital. Moving into the tiny cabin, Mara collapsed tiredly on the bunk. Sifting through her memories, she tried to build a picture of her mother. They hadn't shared much in appearance, just her eyes had been the same. That clear strong green and perhaps something in the curve of her face and the copper glint in her hair. Her mother's hair had been more brown than red.
Perhaps Luke would help her search. She'd thought that she didn't need her background, but perhaps she did after all. Her mother had, after all, been a Jedi and there was comfort in that. Maybe Luke was right, and she had the strength necessary to complete her training.
Sitting up, she surveyed her person. A shower and a change of clothes would be a good idea before she returned to check on farmboy. He was down at the moment, but Mara held no illusions about him. That deceptively innocent expression was hatching plots and when he was well enough, he would spring them on her.
Standing under the shower, she ran her fingers down her body, her breasts growing heavy as she remembered the care Luke had given them, until they had sprung proud and throbbing. She moved restlessly as an ache began to throb between her thighs. "Luke!" she moaned, her eyes shut. The sensations began to build - they were so powerful. That one night had ruined her for any other man for ever. 'But you enjoyed it every moment of it,' her own taunting little voice crowed jubilantly. 'Who would have thought the saintly Jedi was so good in the bedroll?' Mara grabbed a handful of cleaning solution and tried to rub his touch from her body. 'You knew what it would be like with him, deep down you always knew.'
Enough of this, she told herself and flicked the switch to cold and the water jerked her back to reality.
Pulling out a long dark green tunic, she dressed quickly, all the time trying to forget Luke making love to her. But the longer she spent near him, the more she thought about it. The tunic hugged her curves faithfully, a tight upper bodice and a wide skirt over her sturdy knee length boots. Brushing out her hair, she left it loose to dry and it rippled down her back in a sea of red-gold waves. She could feel Luke's restlessness return as he turned and agitated in his sleep.
"It's okay, I'm still here," she soothed, reaching him through their force link.
"Mara!" The comlink she'd pinned to her throat went off and Kam's voice was heard clearly.
"Yes," she answered.
"Luke's calling for you. He's still sleeping, but seems to be very restless."
"I know. I can feel it. I'm coming to check on him and I've found a spare bacta wrap."
"Good."
Mara left her ministrations and made her way quickly back to the hospital. She could feel Luke's presence with her and hurried towards the warmth she felt.
"Mara," Kam's voice called from the office he shared with Cilghal. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Biting down a sharp retort, Mara stalked gracefully into the small room. "What?"
"You know my career as a Jedi has covered a lot of ground, shall we say."
"You were trained by your father, had a brush with the darkside and I know Luke brought you back to the light. So?"
"Luke was brought up in isolation on Tatooine and you belonged to Palpatine. Why would Mirahn appear to you and Luke?"
Mara's heart froze in shock. Opening her mouth she tried to say something, anything to hide the fact that that one word had knocked the stuffing from her. Her mouth opened and closed, her pulse sounded loud in her ears and all the colour drained from her face. Kam leapt to his feet and guided her to a chair.
"Mirahn." She managed to stutter out the word. "Mirahn." She looked up into Kam's proud face. "That's her name?" She wet her dry lips.
Kam peered worriedly at Mara; he'd never seen her hit this hard by anything.
"Can I have a drink of water, please?" Mara asked shakily.
Kam poured a generous amount into a tumbler. "Wouldn't you like something stronger?"
"No, " she whispered. "Water's fine."
She looked up urgently. "Are you sure that was her name?"
"Pretty much. I only saw her a few times. And I was only a boy at the time, but she had a unique signature in the Force - all the Jedi do. She was kind to me, that's all I remember. She was someone who fed me sweet things if I attended the temple with my father. He was a Master. His name was Ranik." Kam kept his voice low and even, hoping it would prove to be calming.
Mara reached for the centre of her focus. "Mirahn," she repeated wildly and tried to peel away the twisted layers in her brain. But nothing came - no visions, no memories - nothing. "Why can't I remember her? Why?"
Kam shook his grey head regretfully. Mara had curled into herself, her shoulders heaving, in an effort to regain her control.
"Ssh." The arms surrounding her were safe and strong. "Ssh, it's going to be okay." Mara realised with a shock that Luke was there in the small room and had bundled her into his embrace. He lifted cold hard eyes towards Kam. "What did you say to her? What made her react like this?"
"I asked her why Mirahn should appear to you both?" Kam's eyes were grey and bewildered.
Luke turned to the shaking woman in his arms. "What's this, sweetheart?" He kissed her brow, uncaring that Kam should see him and possibly draw conclusions about the nature of their liaison. "Who's Mirahn?"
Mara took a deep shuddering breath and raised stricken eyes to Luke's face. "I think that's my mother's name, Luke. But I tried to remember her," she cried brokenly. "I searched my memories and I found nothing. I thought I would be satisfied with that, but I'm not. That monster who raised me took away my memories of my family and now I have no one."
"You have me, Mara. You'll always have me."
Submit Review Report Possible Abuse Add Story to Favorites Add Author to Favorites Add Author to Author Alert 1. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 56. Chapter 67. Chapter 78. Chapter 89. Chapter 910. Chapter 1011. chapter 1112. Chapter 1213. Chapter 1314. Chapter 1415. Chapter 1516. Chapter 16 - Conclusion