BLUE WASTELAND

A Kim Possible Fan Fiction Oddity

By Psychedelic Leviathan

(KP is owned by Disney.)

a/n: Another short chapter. I am so in the lethargy zone.

"It reeks of Middleton." Drakken sneered as Kim pulled him towards the house. He did not resist, he knew that he could not break free of Kim Possible. She was an in shape athletic bitch and he was a sniveling out of shape computer geek. Kim could likely run him down with two feet in cement blocks.

"Oh don't worry, you'll get used to the smell in time."

"How peachy."

The interior of the house was empty. Kim's parents and the tweebs were gone, off to wherever. Drakken was a little relived, Kim's father had been in no small part responsible for breaking his spirit back in college. Drakken figured that age and having kids would have mellowed him out, but he honestly didn't care at all if they had. Drakken like a number of the mentally unstable was into keeping careful score of the injustices real or alleged that were perpetrated upon him by people and society. That bastard Possible could fry for all he cared.

"Um, where are you going to be keeping me in your little suburban jail? I don't think your parents would approve of me being here. I am a villain after all, or I was one. Or I tried to be one...I'm confused now."

"My room. My closet is much bigger then your average bedroom."

"Your parents won't be rooting around in there? Cause I think it would be pretty creepy to find me huddled in your closet."

"I do my own laundry these days, so no. They stay out of my room completely."

"Goodie. At least I won't have to worry about your father finding me. Though if he does I could easily convince him I was trying to do unspeakable things to his precious daughter. From there his fatherly over protective instincts would kick in and he would kill me in a furious rage. Hmmmm. A nearby alternative to the traditional suicide via police option."

"So not gonna happen Drakken. You are not going to die. I'm going to make sure of it."

"Ho bag."

"And I'm not going to let you insult me until I stop trying. No matter how pissed off you make me. I don't give up. Ever."

"Oh yes, the classic hero. You always do the right thing no matter how bad of an idea it might be for you. How caring and decent of you."

"Sarcastic much?"

"Am I supergirl?"

"I am so not a superhero, they wear seriously unfashionable and unnecessarily revealing tights."

Drakken smiled a tiny bit at the idea of Kim in a skintight Shego suit. "Hmmm. Now there's a mental picture that might convince me life is worth living again." He grinned.

"That is so sick and wrong."

"A man can dream can't he?"

"Your like seriously old Drakken. Your totally in your late thirties." She grimaced with visible distaste. "And besides Shego wore some pretty body hugging outfits and that didn't help your world view any."

"Well that's cause Shego thinks I'm a huge loser. It was her way of teasing me with something that I could never in a thousand years have. Not that that's anything new for me. I'm used to girls making fun of me. She was just filling a void that the cheerleaders used to occupy back in high school."

"I though Shego liked you."

"What ever gave you that idea?" Drakken asked in surprise.

"Well, why else would she keep working for you? She was obviously a serious evil type and you weren't exactly the same. I always thought she had some personal loyalty to you that kept her there."

"No. She didn't. What she had was a loyalty towards the things I was able to buy for her. I was the apathetic untalented child of the wealthy, the one thing I always had was a large amount of wealth and treasure. I was able to buy her a lot of things. I paid her quite a bit of money every month. I was never good with economics. I knew I was spending large chunks of money but I figured it was part of that old saying that 'you have to spend money to make money'. The thing was everything I invested in failed in spectacular fashion. I have around five bucks in the bank right now, a fact made even worse by the fact that I started with around three million dollars."

Drakken sat down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling vacantly at that memory. His life had been the opposite of the American dream. He had been given an easy path to the good life and totally blew it. He thought of all of the people who should have been given his chances instead, people who would have surely been capable enough to make something of his life.

"Well that's too bad. But Shego's just one person, eventually..."

"I'm going to find someone who really cares about me. Heard it, lived the reality of trying to do it. If it were true then it would have happened at one point or another."

"You aren't going to give up. I refuse to let you give up."

"Kim Possible...why on Earth do you care? I'm a wretched piece of human waste! Just let me die in peace! I promise I'll go quietly. I'll even put it in writing that you tried your best to save me, that I was wrong and that I now realize you're a hero and that all blah blah blah stuff. Lord knows I don't have it in me to do the whole blaze of glory thing."

"I know you don't."

"Why not?"

"Because deep down, your weak. A huge killing spree, now that's more a Shego thing. Maybe Monkey Fist."

"Yes I know. I can't even be evil. Do you realize how pathetic that is?"

"Well you have to be able to do something."

"That's a dirty lie and you know it. As millions condemned to a life of hamburger engineer wage slavery know there are plenty of people in this world who are disposable."

Drakken looked even more hateful then before. Kim hadn't suffered from depression herself but she had taken some psychology. What she recognized was that Drakken was so low in himself that he had descended into some base level of misanthropy where one feels the need to prove for a solid fact that life is meaningless and one is best aborted. He was so screwed up that he now wanted to show the world that all happiness is a fleeting delusion that can only last so long before the sinister force comes and lays waste to your dreams. Kim was afraid of confronting this, mainly because she was so full of positivism. Fighting villains physically never scared Kim but trying to understand them did. She was afraid they knew something fundamentally wrong about the universe that she was missing. And then that same darkness would swallow her if she learned that horrible secret, maybe even to the point where she would feel the siren call of the dark side herself and raise the black flag.

"People have value Drakken. Even you do."

"Now your just being a hopeless romantic. But what am I to expect from the cheerleader? Okay when your on the side of life where all of the hot shots like you are then I could understand. But I am not over on your side of the world Kim Possible. I'm in with the dregs."

"Who are you talking about? Its just us here."

"I'm not referring to the present. I'm talking about the past."

"Like the other villains? I thought you believed Shego was the greatest thing since sliced bread."

"As a villain she is. But she's an utterly terrible human being. Do you know of the hatred she has towards her family? I mean her brothers are stupid but they mean well and have tried very hard to connect with her. But she hates them regardless."

"Yeah. That is true." Kim agreed reluctantly. She didn't have a very high opinion of Shego either, but she didn't want to be agreeing with Drakken at all. She was trying to talk him down. Though he was sitting on her couch right in front of her and there was no way he could outrun her to door she was still very worried. Mentally he was still at the edge of the cliffs. And there was no way she could watch him twenty four hours a day.

"Like I said, the dregs."

"Well at least one of them had to care about you. It was one of your henchmen that told you were going to try this kind of stunt."

"Which one? He is so fired."

"I thought you said you were out of money anyways."

"Its the hostile gesture that counts. He messed up my big moment."

"Don't you want your big moment to be something that people will remember?"

"Oh they always remember the suicide. Its a shame I didn't do it earlier, like back in high school. There would have been so many more people who would have remembered me if I had taken the plunge then." He mused with infernal sarcasm. "Do you have any idea what the true heart of darkness looks like Kimmie? Its having great quantities of remorse over the fact that you should have killed yourself along time ago. If I had died when I was fourteen people could have looked at me and said that I had potential and could have made something of myself later on. They would have mourned a young man dead in his supposed prime. Now that I'm a grown failure they will have no sympathy for me. They will regard it as a smart career move on my behalf to do the deed. They will ridicule me and piss on my headstone."

"God that's screwed up." Kim sighed with resignation. Drakken was in much worse shape in she had originally believed him to be. She thought he was reeling from Shego having dumped him.

"I'm so glad I'm not paying for your so called psychological advice."

"Well, go on. The more I know about you the sooner I can fix you."

"I think about that sometimes, what they'll say after its over for me. You know what I think the biggest disappointment in the world is? You'll never get to read your own obituary. You can't go to your own funeral. The one time people are actually going to say what they really feel about you and you'll never know. Its positively fucked up. But I do know that Shego will there, the warped little brat. She'll view it as an improvement in the gene pool or some other elitist snobbery. She'll almost certainly be happy that I never bred."

He was bringing up Shego again. "Is Shego really that important to you?"

"What do you mean? I hate that bitch and I'm sure she feels the same way about me."

"Yes, but you keep bringing her up."

"She's an important person in the ruination of my life. When she was around I thought I'd finally found a friend. Sometimes she acted that way."

"Was it just that she was always making fun of you?"

"No. It was the fear. Now I'm hardly a model of mental health myself, but that girl was scary. I was always afraid when she was around."

"But when we fought you were always condescending to her."

"I was trying to feel like I had some power. You and I know she could have killed me at any time. And that there was always that possibility that would. She always played it so cool, but she's not as stable as she looks from the outside. I think she may be even more screwed up then I am sometimes."

"Understandable."

"Not to you! You always defeated her. And with nothing but your bare hands either. You have no idea what its like to be WEAK."

"You don't have to be weak you know. You can improve yourself."

"Yeah huh. Lived that too. I am weak. I tried doing a pushup in 89' and I was unable to move for like a week afterward."

"You have to believe in yourself."

"Do you really believe that rhetoric that you keep spitting? Its sickening to watch such ugly lies come out of such a pretty girl."

"Yes I do."

"Yeah yeah whatever. Keep telling me all that stuff. The world famous and perfect Kim Possible trying to teach a loser like me all about the value of self esteem is like Joe Montana trying to teach a man with no arms how to throw a football."

Kim was beginning to feel increasingly drained from this conversation. She looked down at her expensive shoes and then up at Drakken again. There was no mistaking the look on his face. He wasn't doing this to try to tweak her or ruin her sunny disposition, he believed everything he said.

"Not so high and condescending now miss Possible?" He asked her.

"I didn't know how sick you were before Drakken. I'm here trying to help you and your making ME feel bad for it." Kim retorted bitterly, her voice almost reduced down a whimper.

Drakken saw Kim Possible's face crumbling. And for a minute he felt a surge of the old villainous emotions. 'Go for it! Finish her off!' For a second some very mean words were on the edge of his lips. And this would be the perfect opportunity for a slam. He had brought one of the most happy people in the world down to his miserable level.

"I didn't HAVE to care about you, you stupid deranged fool." She spat with hurt in her eyes. "I didn't have to come out of a busy school day just to save YOU, a man I was very tempted to just let die."

His heart went cold and stopped him.

"Did you just really say that?"

"Yes Drakken. I did." She sighed with noticeable discontent.

"I'm sorry if, um hurt you with my words." He muttered lowly. "I can't believe I said that. But its true."

There was a moment of wonder in Kim Possible's eyes. "Well I accept your apology."

The Kimmunicator beeped. Drakken knew what that thing was. "Is that your little computer buddy?"

"Yeah. I gotta go. Something must be happening."

"Your just going to leave me here like this?"

"I'll be back in a few hours. What do I need to chain you to the bed."

"Only if you'd like too."

It took Kim's chaste mind a little while to figure out that he had made a perverse joke. "So gross. I'm here to save your soul, not make it even dirtier."

"A pity. Corruption is it's own reward."

"Well, at least your making stupid jokes again."

"What do I do until you get home?"

She handed him an empty composition notebook and some pens. "Write down stuff about your twisted childhood or whatever. Writing can really help keep you grounded. Rant all you want, the paper can't judge you."

"And you know this?"

"From dealing with the stupid on a near continuous level, yes I do."

"You mean the buffoon?"

"Don't call him that. Goodbye Drakken, I have to stop some break in at a military lab somewhere."

"Hey." He said looking up. "Call me Drew."

She nodded slightly and then was gone.