BLUE WASTELAND

A Kim Possible Fan Fiction Oddity

By Psychedelic Leviathan

(KP is owned by Disney.)

a/n: Goddamit! I re-read the last chapter, so many grammatical errors. I usually catch the worst stuff, but there's always a large amount of smaller things I miss.

"We can't go on the mission just yet KP!"

"Why not?"

"I haven't been to Bueno Nacho today."

"Ron." Kim Possible stated with a collared irritation. "I spend half my day babysitting Drakken, I don't need you to go off and act like an idiot too."

"Is he really that bad?"

"You can have him if you really want." She offered.

"Really? Cause that would be kind of cool. The evil genius down the hall. Yeah. I could dig it. I could you know do a reality series on the life of a villain and then sell it for some money."

"Sure that's a good idea Ron...which super villain would you be using?"

"Drakken...oh wait I get it now. This is you implying that Drakken's a poser."

"Without Shego he is. Why do you think I'm not afraid of keeping him so close to me?"

"Cause he doesn't really want to hurt you." Ron smirked at him. Rufus seemed to agree, the little mole rat laughing a little bit.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I've seen the way he talks to you now. Its almost as if he's starting to like you, despite well you having ruined everything he's ever attempted to do."

"Okay I am so going to avoid the fact that you just said something so gross towards me."

"Ah Kim Kim Kim, this such a typical pattern of denial for you."

"What are you saying? That my arch enemy likes me? Do you know that stupid that sounds?"

"Okay then. Deny the problem you are about to run straight into."

"Lets just go out to the middle of nowhere and try to get some clues on this case. And don't give me anymore of your tabloid thoughts, I'm sure Drakken would be just as revolted as me at...that idea."

Though as Kim prepared for their flight out she felt a strange sensation tingling within her...NO! She pushed the thought out of her mind violently. He was evil, he was demented, he was...BLUE. She wondered briefly if it would different with a blue guy, then shoved that idea out of her head.

Ron wasn't wholly wrong. Since Drakken had come to her house she had started loosing her mind. She had been hopeful that she could turn him but his madness was starting to infect her, at least on some lower level of consciousness.

Mercifully the pilot showed up. "Kim Possible!" The guy shouted at her, as with all of her rides he looked somewhat familiar to her. But which mission had this one been from? She had been up and down the world so many times that it was all starting to blur together somehow.

"Hi." She said in her usual sociality. "So your flying us to North Dakota? Thanks for the ride."

"Its no problem Ms Possible, not after you saved my dog from those mutant cannibals."

"It was no big. They melted as soon as you sprayed them with soda."

Kim and Ron got in the back of the old sytle propeller plane and it began to take off. Kim knew that she had to be absolutely focused for this mission, for nothing less then the absolute fate of the human race and all of its peoples, accomplishments and histories had been laid on the table for this one. Somehow had repeatedly been attempting to steal a nuclear weapon from one of several silos in the upper Midwest. The military had mobilized in full force to attempt to bring down the opposition but had failed repeatedly, everything from tank squads to commando teams coming up empty handed and managing only to protect the weapons. It was only a matter of time before this mysterious group would break through.

Kim Possible of course had been summoned by Global Justice to try to kick some ass. Unfortunately with the holographic camouflage technology they had no one had any idea whose ass it was perpetrating the attempted break ins. They had some kind of highly advanced aircraft though, it seemed to be the base of their operations. Besides that the only thing understood was that they were facing a group effort from a coalition of evil freaks, rather then just one of them.

Middleton was deep within the American heartland (Wyoming to be exact) so it really wasn't that far a ride to the base. Kim could see that the station was on heightened alert right away, a brigade of hulking tanks and infantrymen entrenched out in front. There were muddy trenches and flesh tearing razor wire, sinister gun towers and earth shattering artillery. Anything that could menace this citadel of American might had to be especially horrible in nature. Kim was almost worried for a second. But couldn't she do anything? Or was this going to be the time and place for that to be proven false advertising?

No! Kim knew she had to top this new evil, whatever it was. She would do whatever it took, because failure was death to her. She knew she was the greatest person in the world and she would look towards this as a chance to re-affirm that fundamental truth to humanity.

The plane was brought down upon the soil. A few MPs were lead by an officer up to Kim. "Kim Possible I presume." He was tall, dark haired and broad shouldered and looked more then somewhat like mister Barkin back at the high school.

"You presume right." She said with the contained arrogance that she was known for speaking in. Kim Possible knew she was haughty and arrogant, it was a challenge not to be with her intellect and athleticism and looks and...well one gets the idea. But the red head did care about people, so she tried as hard as she could to stifle her massive ego. "That's me." She added.

"Well thank God. The perpetrators will likely be appearing shortly. In all previous raids they have come at night. We've tried to shoot them but that holographic projection device they possess makes it impossible to draw a clear shot. At least with anything big enough to kill them for sure."

"Wait...kill them? I wasn't informed of this."

"Kim Possible what is you major malfunction?"

"I do not believe in the killing of human beings."

The colonel was taken a back. "Miss Possible they are enemies of the state, terrorists to be exact. They are attempting to steal thermonuclear weapons with which they will wreak much havoc upon the world. What they get they deserve."

"I'm not killing anyone."

"We didn't say it would be YOU that would have to do it. You just have to pin these bastards down. Then we'll do the rest of the work." The Barkin semi look a like grinned evilly at the thought of using some of those huge artillery batteries upon the enemies of Uncle Sam.

"I think me and Ron will work on this case alone." Kim retorted.

Ron disagreed immediately. "Um, Kim wouldn't that a bad idea? I mean shouldn't we at least ask for whatever information that they have first? So we can least start narrowing down the list of villains that we could possibly be facing."

"Well okay. Do you know anything...sir?" Kim asked.

"Well we know that its a woman, a couple men and some kinds of animals that no one has so far been able to identify as of yet. Our MPs haven't given us much better information then that."

"This woman...did she have glowing hands or anything like that?"

"Now that you mention that one of our MPs said she glowed green, but we all assumed he was drunk and consigned him to the brig for it."

Kim then understood why so many people have made fun of the term 'military intelligence.' Didn't these fools know who Shego was? She had been on TV a number of times before. "I see. Can I talk to him?"

"If you wish."

The officer and several MPs led her into the dankness of the brig, where a number of soldiers had been consigned for drunkenness, breaking beer bottles over the heads of bartenders, fighting each other, driving tanks onto the lawns of a rich civilian who gave one of them lip and various other unwholesome activities. As with any large organization the military had its sub group of fucktards and most of them were before her. Some of these men were more then run of the mill fucktards, they were in the brig for things such as assault with the famous deadly weapon, raping civilian girls on leave and one instance of gunning down a superior officer. The military didn't always catch the ex-cons who lied about their pre enlistment status and here you could tell.

"Here he is. Charlie...you got some visitors!" The colonel stated.

The skinny blonde man stirred slowly, he staggered over towards them on a visible limp. A number of bandages were seen wrapped one arm. "Yes?" Charlie asked.

"They want to know about the supposed green girl. And the others."

"There's no SUPPOSED. How do you think I got cut up like this?"

"Like official record says, you were drunk. Really drunk. And feel onto some knives." The Colonel then walked out but left a couple of military police around.

"I can't believe that." Kim said.

"Believe it. These people don't like admitting they made mistakes."

"What happened?"

"I stopped that bitch, but not before she cut me. She gladly would have killed me if not for the fact that I shot her in the leg. It was pretty dark, otherwise I would have aimed a lot higher. And probably had much better success. I wounded her, but I doubt if she's dead from the strength she exhibited. She was real strong."

"Cut you? How?"

"Her hands. They had claws somehow. Real sharp claws."

"Shego." Ron said.

"Well, obviously." Kim yawned at him. "Who was with her?"

"No one. The main fight was taking place elsewhere on the base, this killer girl was trying to sneak around in back where I was. The distraction was pretty effective, I was the only one back on that side of the perimeter."

"Its Shego." Kim said simply. "But when will she be back?"

"Hopefully soon." Ron said. "I'm way behind in school right now."

"You should go back home then. You won't be particularly useful in fighting Shego anyways. Even if she did recently get capped."

"Capped? Is that a Drakken-ism?"

"Its a bizarre kind of reverse Stockholm's syndrome. The captors begin to think like the prisoners. You go home Ron, I'll wait awhile for Shego to show up. If she doesn't then I'll go home too."

Ron understood. "Hey is it alrite if I bring Drakken over to my house? Cause I'm still interested in hanging with the D dawg."

"Sure. Knock yourself out."

Ron left, going off to look for the pilot to go home to Middleton.

"Are you sure this is okay?" The blue man asked.

"Yeah its cool. My parents probably don't even know who you are. They don't watch much TV." Ron said. Ron and Drakken were standing outside of Ron's house, Drakken carrying his notebook under one arm. Drakken looked quite tired. All of Kim Possible's self defense lessons were grinding him down to nothing. His ribs still ached from the death hug he endured battling the arch bully Carlos Gordo. And his right cheek still whined from where the profane beast had brought one monstrous man breast down upon his head.

"Mom, dad...I'm back." Ron said as he opened the door. His parents looked at Drakken.

"He looks kind of familiar." Ron's father said.

"Oh yeah he's an old friend of mine, from uh...summer camp."

"I thought you hated everyone there."

"Well so did he. So we're commiserating about the smoldering hell pits of Wannaweep."

"Well, okay. You kids have fun."

They walked up to Ron's room. Drakken approved immediately, the buffoon like himself was a disciple of Steel Toe and the greatness of professional wrestling. Maybe this could work. "I've got an extra bed, let me just bring it in here."

Ron pulled in another bed. Drakken nodded at him tiredly and gave out an uninspired 'thanks'. Drakken lay down upon the bed, exhausted from training against someone whom he had absolutely no chance at being able to defeat. In a month of full contact martial arts training he hadn't so much as landed a single blow upon Kim Possible. But it was his dream now, even though she was no longer an enemy in his mind. He wanted to knock some of the perfect out of that super girl with those hands that had so often been critized for being so small and weak. Well he would show them all!

He cracked a grin at the far off idea of laying a smack down on the preppie brat. That would make his life complete. Even if Kim Possible were to beat him in a hundred re-matches, he would have his shining moment where he would have proven, proven scientifically even that Kim Possible...was not all that. How many times had he said that tired catch phrase in his missions to enslave the Earth? And how often had he been proven wrong.

Drakken felt a sudden tinge of a largely foreign emotion. It was certainly disorientating and painful. What the hell was wrong with him anyways? All he knew that he felt bad for wishing the humiliation of Kim Possible despite her saving his life and taking him into her house. (Her closet anyways.) What was this horrible thing called? He searched through the computer banks of his memory and came up with the word guilt. Yes that was what this was. And to think he'd though himself completely cured of such weaknesses years ago. He reasoned he was not getting stronger in Kim Possible's care after all, he was in fact growing weaker.

And the fact that he now possessed a trace amount of guilt lead to an even more concerning idea in his mind. Was the continued presence of the pristine and pure Kim Possible in some way causing him to mutate? Was he in fact becoming...GOOD?

Drakken shuddered in terror. 'Me bad...me bad..." He thought repeatedly in his mind, focusing intently on his past evil deeds like a kind of Hindu mantra. He was fearful of loosing his evil essence. He intensified his mantra 'ME BAD...ME BAD...' and for a second he had a mental image of himself as a towering evil presence that held the world in his iron grip. He WAS bad...despite the extensive evidence to the contrary.

Then he saw Kim Possible's cute smiling face, she shook a finger at him accusingly. His imaginary world conquest exploded into obliterated pieces.

Drakken went limp in defeat. He now couldn't even conquer the world in his daydreams. Kim Possible had him so whipped that even his imagination was under her control.



Kim was beginning to get seriously bored. She had been walking around the perimeter of this army encampment over and over without any sign of evil. She saw no evil, heard no evil and was spoken to by no evil. This was rapidly degenerating into a state of absolute boredom for her.

"Where the hell is green girl anyways?" Kim asked.

A brutal kick broke her advanced state of lethargy in two. Kim's vision dizzied and spun around her as she fought to stay standing up straight.

"Right here Kimmie." The so called green girl stated. She was flanked with a number of lumbering giants that Kim recognized vaguely as former henchmen of Drakken, only all of them now wore green and black. "And don't call me that again."

"Oh yeah...and whose going to make me stop? You? Bring it on Shego."

"Your wish is granted cheerleader."

Shego and the goons charged Kim. Kim was kicked by Shego at the same time at she was tackled by several of the overgrown green henchmen. The other henchmen behind Shego then jumped onto them, adding more sheer weight to the pile of bodies that Kim now squirmed helplessly beneath.

Shego pulled herself out of the mass of humanity and ordered her henchmen around with her sharp voice. "GRAB HER AND STAND UP!"

The henchmen separated with Kim Possible in their tree trunk arms. Normally she could break her way out with a judo flip or some other move but there were ten of the henchmen holding her at once. And they were much more impressive physically then they had been in the past. Kim didn't know what Shego had done to pump up the ranks of evil minions so much but it had worked. There once had stood red clad lumps of flab who huffed and puffed trying to follow Shego up a mountain. There were now green and black monsters who could have at the least made second string in the national football league. There was no way Kim could struggle her way out of all of that concentrated strength. She was held as if in a cast iron vise, her bones hurting as she felt them clamp down upon her arms and legs.

"This is going to be fun." Shego made punching motions in Kim's direction. She then put on a vicious smile. She was going to enjoy this.

"So your going to beat a helpless prisoner? That's pretty low Shego, even for you."

"Kimmie Kimmie Kimmie." She repeated slowly, as if talking to a small child. A small child with severe mental retardation. "Have you learned nothing about me at all? I am...EVIL!"

Shego's fist struck Kim in the stomach. The villain smiled happily. Kim was kicked in the kneecaps. Shego's leg lashed out and hit Kim in the chest, a blow which hurt horribly. Shego was enjoying this little exercise greatly. She hated Kim Possible as much as Drakken did, maybe a little more even because she was always given the miserable grunt job of having to deal with her.

"LET ME GOOOOO!" Kim screamed as loud as she could. "LET ME GO DAMN YOU!"

"Fat chance of that preppie."

Shego's knuckles found Kim's head again. She practiced her a few of her kicks. Kim was yelling at her as loud as she could and struggling uselessly against three thousand pounds of henchman.

"LEAVE THE GIRL ALONE!" The voice of that domineering colonel growled through a megaphone. Apparently the noise generated by Kim's yelling had gotten the army's attention. "OPEN FIRE MEN!" Phalanxes of armed soldiers and a number of tanks backed the overbearing man.

Shego got the idea. This raid was a bust. "We shall advance in the opposite direction." She stated. "FALL BACK BOYS!" Shego and the henchmen retreated into the darkness, the army gunning down three of the beast like men in the process and grazing Shego's shoulder to the sound of a loud and pained yelping.

Kim lay on the ground for a few seconds as she watched Shego run away. While it pleased her to see Shego run that didn't change the fact that she was beaten up. Kim stifled a whimper. "I...lost." She said almost inaudibly. She exerted her self control, she wasn't going to cry in front of that jackass colonel. She didn't feel the need to be condescended too.

The officer approached her with a look of concern. "Are you okay Possible?"

"Yes. I just was surprised is all."

"Why so?"

"I didn't expect that Drakken's incompetent henchmen would suddenly become world beaters. But I'll adjust."

"Do you require medical attention?"

"No. I feel okay."

"Your bleeding from the nose. And you've got quite a bit of other purple spots."

"I said I'm fine." She said with irritation.

"You sure? Cause you can have head trauma from a fight and not be wholly aware of it. A person can think their fine and then wake up dead from a concussion the next day."

"Kim Possible does not do injury!" She snapped.

The colonel seemed only mildly phased, but the intensity with which the supposedly perfect Kim Possible had snapped at him had been startling at the least and a little bit frightening at the most. But he was a high ranking officer in the United States Army and he to project strength at all times. "Alrite Miss Possible. Just concerned about your personal welfare."

"Touching." She said with no minor quantity of sardonicism. "Now I have to go home. I have a math test. Just remember, your enemy is Shego. Don't try to engage her, she has near superhuman strength and claws that can cut through the armour in a tank. If you see her then just shoot her down like the dog she is."

"Will do."

Kim pumped up her jetpack and took off. As she did she thought she saw the three henchmen the army had shoot getting up and walking around. She decidedly immediately she must have been more hurt then she realized. It simply was not possible to be shoot four dozen times and then get up like nothing had happened. That was something that only occurred in TV's Itchy and Scratchy cartoons where the cat despite horrible mutilation would always come back for the next scene as if nothing had happened at all.

Kim's jetpack had some serious range upon it. She flew for several hours, until she arrived in Middleton. The teen hero touched down upon the front lawn and then stripped herself of the jetpack. She walked inside and ignored her family members, they didn't see her come in as they were busy watching TV in the living room. Kim went up to the bathroom and locked the door, then examined her abused face in the mirror. She wondered what in the hell her parents would say. They had been against her crime fighting in the beginning but she had gotten permission because she had proven that she could always win against anyone.

Well that was no longer true. Shego and the new improved minions had taken her to school. She had been defeated. She tried to consul herself with the fact that supposedly no one was perfect, that even the strongest could falter at times and that she was just human not invincible. She thought of the religious beliefs that she had never really absorbed when she had to go to Sunday school, wasn't that bearded guy the only perfect one? She thought about how even the Los Angeles Lakers and New York Yankees had lost in world championship games. That she had been hopelessly ambushed.

But none of this was even the slightest help. Her lengthy winning streak was shattered. She felt one tear coming and then another. It was the sobbing of a teenager whose great belief in their youthful invulnerability had been punctured irreparably. She tried to tell herself that she was being stupid, that of course in real life things didn't always work out and that only weaklings whine about the nature life being oh so unfair. But none of that helped either.

Kim Possible wept.