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Chapter Ten: Infection
Rave'n'claw was pining. She had nestled herself under Slytherin's chin and refused to move for all of Filch's cajoling or le Puff's threats. Riddle hadn't helped; he'd conjured up a box of peanuts and threw some at her every few minutes. She'd become quite adept at catching them before they hit the ground.
Huff le Puff got up from her chair and walked over to 'Claw for another try.
"Come on, Rave, time to go hunting," she said. She prodded at her partner with one booted foot.
Rave'n'claw ignored her. She continued to stare at her wriggling toes, as she'd been doing for the past hour when not catching peanuts.
Huff le Puff bent down, meaning to drag her out by the hair, and that was why the bird sped over her head instead of raking her scalp with its claws. She threw herself to the side as she felt the breeze of its passage. When nothing attacked her again, she poked her head up from where she'd landed half-under a table.
A hawk stared back at her. It wasn't just any hawk. Its eyes were a deep midnight blue and sparkled with intelligence. Its feathers were a glossy midnight hue, and if one looked at them carefully it seemed as though one could see stars sparkling in them, entire constellations and galaxies. Tied to its silvery leg was a roll of light lavender parchment.
Huff le Puff smiled, revealing what looked like far too many teeth.
"Nice birdie," she purred, sliding forward on her stomach. "Pretty birdie."
The bird cocked its head to the side and let out a melodic chirp.
One hand shot out and seized the bird by the neck before it could fly off. It squawked and slashed at her, but le Puff's grip didn't loosen. She swung it around her head like a discus thrower, then brought it down on the tabletop. The bird ceased struggling, its head lolling on its neck. It let out a weak cheep as le Puff shook it again.
"Oy, Filch!" she called through the door. "I caught dinner."
Le Puff toyed with her piece of meat as Filch read through the letter a third time.
"I don't understand it either," he said. He put it down beside his plate and cast her a stern look.
"Don't play with your food, le Puff."
"Oh, she's already done that," Riddle muttered. He took another bite.
"It tastes too sweet," she whined. "Maybe if we let it rot under a log for a few weeks, let lots of plump little maggots get into it..."
Riddle shoved back his plate with a grimace.
"Thank you for that appetizing image," he said.
Le Puff tipped her meal over the side of the table, where the badger pounced on it. She reached down and patted the creature as it ate.
"Whatever it means, it can't be good," Filch said. He picked it up again.
"'We agree. Meet us at the Chamber of Secrets.' Why would anyone send us this?"
"Sues," le Puff said. She didn't look up from the badger.
"No, subtlety was never their strong point. Someone else, then."
Now le Puff looked up.
"That Quirke brat…"
"No, le Puff. You may not kill the students. I don't care what it is she's done to you, or you think she's done to you."
They glared at each other across the table. Riddle ignored them both and occupied himself with feeding tidbits to Nevermore. When he looked up and found them still glowering, he smacked his palm down on the table sharply. Their gazes swiveled to his; Filch's stern, le Puff's murderous.
"If you're quite finished trying to stare each other down, I'd like to get home," he said. He didn't try and keep the venom out of his voice.
"I've helped you with your little crusade, now it's time for you to help me," he said.
Filch shook his head.
"Mr. Riddle, it's not quite as simple as you seem to think. We have no way of finding out which Sue brought you here. As you've seen, there are quite a lot of them."
"Then you obviously haven't been trying hard enough." He stood and drew his wand. "Perhaps all you need is the proper incentive."
Huff le Puff shoved herself to her feet so violently that her chair was sent flying back. It landed with a clatter, ignored. The badger crouched by her feet, snarling.
Of the three, Filch alone remained calm. He pushed his chair back from the table and folded his arms, not moving his gaze from Riddle's.
"That won't do you any good, Mr. Riddle," he said. The boy's only reply was a sneer.
Le Puff growled and inched closer, letting her hands drop down to her pockets to grasp her needles.
Both Filch and Riddle turned to her.
"Sit down, le Puff," Filch snapped.
Chastened, le Puff sank to her haunches on the ground. She rested one hand lightly on the badger's raised hackles.
"If you want to get home, then I would suggest we start looking more closely at this letter," Filch said. Riddle hesitated for a moment before lowering his wand.
"I'll give you one minute before we go back to my way of doing things." he said.
"You have been intimately involved in the Chamber of Secrets, I understand. This might be a letter to you rather than us. Some secret message or rendez-vous with whoever brought you here."
Riddle sat back down slowly and sheathed his wand.
"If that's the case, then shouldn't I know what it's about?" he asked. He grimaced slightly and shifted in his seat. "We can't just send a reply back asking for more information, thanks to that menace." He dipped his head in le Puff's direction.
"It's possible that…" Filch began, then stopped. "Is something wrong?"
A muscle in Riddle's cheek twitched. He stood up abruptly, placing one hand on the table to steady himself.
"I think that eating that hawk might not have been the best idea," he said. "I don't –" He stopped and pressed one hand to his stomach.
Le Puff watched with growing delight as Riddle's features seemed to blur for a moment, and then reform.
But… they were different. So subtly that it was impossible to put a finger on exactly what was changed. Perhaps it was that the cruel lift to one corner of his mouth had disappeared, and his eyes had lost their perpetual look of narrowed suspicion. When he spoke, his voice sounded like the kind of voice that belonged to someone you could really, really depend on. Depend on to do something other than twist you into new and interesting shapes, that is.
"Where is my Love? Where is my Selene?" He looked around as if expecting to see Selene, whoever she was, sitting in one of the much-mended chairs. All he saw was a number of le Puff's teeth bared in his direction in what was either a grimace or a grin. If there was any difference between the two on le Puff.
"I told you he wasn't Canon," le Puff said. She spoke to Filch but kept her eyes fastened on Riddle.
Tom ignored them. He continued peering around the room anxiously, his eyes glazed.
"Where is my Selene?" he repeated. He took a step towards Filch. "Excuse me, but have you seen a lovely young lady with silver hair and purple eyes? She had extraordinary powers and can sing beautifully."
Filch had opened his mouth to reply when he saw le Puff tense. He leapt at her and caught hold of her arms as she sprang. Her foot made contact with his knee and she started shrieking at him to let her go and let her go now dammit, she was going to do her job.
He just concentrated on keeping her away from Riddle, who stood in the middle of the room looking as if he'd been shot by a tranquilizer meant for an elephant.
"Le Puff don't!" he panted. "He's infected, not a—"
She drove an elbow into his gut, which shut him up effectively and loosened his grip enough for her to dart away. He launched himself after her and caught her around the waist. Riddle didn't move, even when le Puff's fingers scrabbled at his feet.
"Rave'n'claw," Filch grunted, trying to avoid le Puff's thrashing boots. He gathered enough breath to bellow.
"Rave'n'claw, you get out here this instant!"
Rave'n'claw appeared at the door, mouth open to protest. She didn't seem at all surprised by the scene she found.
"Hold le Puff," he said.
"Hold?" 'Claw asked, picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. She wandered over to Riddle and poked at his sleeve, leaving holes where her fingernails touched it. Huff le Puff surged forward and grabbed at Riddle's ankle. Filch tried desperately to both hang onto le Puff and translate 'hold' into 'Claw-ese.
"Hug her!" he said.
Rave'n'claw's face lit up.
"Oooh! Hug her. All right."
She fell down on le Puff and wrapped her arms around her.
"Huffy! Huffy Puffy! We haven't had any quality time lately," she said.
Filch released le Puff and got to his feet with a hiss. He felt as his ribs, grimacing when his fingers hit the tender place where le Puff's elbow had struck.
"This is bad, le Puff, very bad," he told her. He scowled down. She writhed in 'Claw's grasp, her face lifted up to stare at him with her teeth bared. There wasn't anything in her eyes besides an animalistic fury.
"If I can't count on you to control yourself, then you can't be trusted to hunt. Riddle's no use, either."
He paused, his lips compressing as he looked down at her. She stared back up, eyes devoid of reason.
"Damn you." It wasn't clear to whom he directed his comment. "I shouldn't have to do this. I'm old. I have no magic."
Again, he paused.
"Rave'n'claw, go and tie le Puff up. There should be a pair of manacles in the chest by my desk." At least those would come in handy, even if the Headmaster refused to allow him to use them on those miscreants that called themselves students.
"Tie her up? But why?" 'Claw asked. She wrinkled her forehead in consternation.
"Do it," Filch snapped. He spared a glance for 'Claw and his features softened slightly. "It's just for a little while," he reassured her. "Until we get all of this mess sorted out."
Rave'n'claw dragged her struggling partner out, and Filch turned his attention to the dormant Riddle.
"You have caused us a great deal of trouble, Mr. Riddle," he said, taking hold of the boy's forearm. "I suppose I could lock you in a closet somewhere, but…"
Riddle jerked to life, his lips twisting into an idiotic grin.
"Hello, old man," he said. "Please don't run away screaming because I'm going to be a Dark Lord and slaughter and torture mounds of helpless Mudbloods and Muggles. I'm good now. Really! My love Selene has redeemed me, and we're going to end hunger, war, and poverty! Oh yeah, and don't believe Harry; he's a wanker and is going to take my place as Dark Lord!"
Filch jerked his arm away and stepped back, as if Riddle was some dangerous strain of a highly infectious disease.
"I suppose I should be glad I'm not important enough to merit that kind of reaction to ingesting pure Sue," he muttered.
Riddle looked around. That is, his head moved from side to side; he didn't appear to be taking anything in.
"Where is my Love?" he asked.
Rave'n'claw came skipping back in.
"Is that all he says now?" she asked Filch. "I liked him much better when he pointed his wand at people and made them leak." She grinned and wriggled her claws.
Filch patted her on the shoulder.
"We'll get him back to normal soon enough," he said. "All we need to do is find whoever owned that hawk." He reconsidered what he'd said. "All," he repeated with a snort.
"I don't suppose you know where your love, er… Love might be?" he asked, turning back to Riddle.
Riddle nodded, still smiling. Filch was starting to find his never-changing expression mildly disturbing.
"Yes, of course I do. My Love and I are connected through the strongest bonds of the heart and soul. I have felt her pull over the decades between us, and—"
"Yes, yes," Filch interrupted. "Then why did you keep asking us…? Never mind, I made the tragic mistake of expecting logic. The closet it is." He rubbed at his ribs while he considered his next move. Le Puff was useless, and Rave'n'claw nearly so. Riddle wouldn't be a help, especially if he knew what they planned to do with his Love. He walked over to find his old, much-abused mop. It couldn't clean floors anymore, not after making contact with le Puff's head twice, but it would serve its purpose.
Behind him, Rave'n'claw and Riddle engaged in a disjointed conversation. Riddle babbled on about the Perfection and Beauty of his Love. 'Claw discussed the possibility of helping the avocados in their search for equal rights. Neither seemed to be listening to the other.
Filch ended one side of the conversation by bringing the mop's haft down on Riddle's head. Riddle collapsed in a heap. Rave'n'claw peered down at him with interest and continued to blather happily.
"Come on, 'Claw, pick up his feet" Filch said. He knelt down at grabbed Riddle under his arms with a grunt, wincing when the knee le Puff had kicked protested.
Obediently, Rave'n'claw picked up Riddle's feet and began to swing him back and forth.
"No, 'Claw," Filch said calmly. "Help me get him to the closet."
They half-dragged half-carried him over to the closet where Filch kept his cleaning supplies. After a bit of bending and scrunching, they managed to wedge him in between a tub of Malveta's Magical Mess Remover and Filch's spare brooms. He hoped the brooms didn't nibble on Riddle too much; they could get playful when bored, and he hadn't fed them in a week.
He fought his way out of the closet and slammed the door firmly behind him. Rave'n'claw bounced on her toes looking far too eager and happy for Filch's comfort.
"What do we do now, Mr. Filch?" she asked. Her fingers crooked into claws. "Do we go a-hunting?"
Filch let his eyes close for a heartbeat, then forced them open. There was no way to avoid what was coming; certainly not by hiding in his rooms and pretending it wasn't there. He cracked his knuckles and felt a small, grim smile twist his lips.
"Why yes, 'Claw. I believe that's exactly what we're going to do."