BLUE WASTELAND

A Kim Possible Oddity

BY PSYCHEDELIC LEVIATHAN



(KP is owned by Disney.)

Doctor Drakken was starting to get nervous.

He had seen fragments of the fight, but the TV camera had been grabbed by one of the henchmen and smashed into the ground in front of the whole world. So he had no idea of what happened to Kim Possible or the Buffoon or even the weird pink animal.

"I'm being a fool." He said up in Ron Stoppable's room. "Kim Possible is fine. She's always survived...despite my best attempts." But then he remembered that he had been the 98 pound weakling of the super villain world and that rationalization crumbled. Kim Possible's success rate against Drakken did not in any way insure success against this army of villains. It would be the same as the very dumb basketball jock thinking that being a big stud in high school would mean that he could go to straight to the L.A. Lakers and be a star there as well, when likely he would be very lucky to even warm the bench in the NBA ranks. Kim was in a whole different level of confrontation, one that no hero had seen since the days of the legendary Captain Freedom all the way back in 1950s. This team up of every major villain on the planet could grow into a horror show the likes of which had only been seen once before. One that even the world's greatest hero could be swamped in. Shego, Dementor, Monkey Fist, DNAmy, mutants, super henchmen, the list went on and on. Drakken hadn't been the greatest, but he knew that the only thing that could unite so many anarchic villains would be a force of unspeakable evil, the class of evil that could easily menace the entire planet.

Drakken saw old grainy reels of past history race through his mind. He saw a man whom once the world had held in adored awe decay and die.

Drakken didn't know why he had thought of that particular piece of world history, but for him it seemed oddly appropriate. Captain Freedom had been the leader of the once near all mighty and now defunct Justice Legion, a coalition of spandex wearing maniacs that had violently enforced truth, justice and the American way back in the 1940s and 1950s. All of the old retired villains still complained about Freedom, as he was one the biggest pains in evils collective ass in the entire history of the world. He was also the very first teen age super hero. Up until the emergence of Kim Possible he had always been regarded as the all time most effective hero, and even now there were a number of old codgers who still vouched for him as the greatest hero of all time. Their reasons ranged from nostalgia about today's kids being no damn good to that fact that Freedom had technological help, the most advanced thing in his equipment being a compass and his fist. Others liked the way he had worn America's colors into combat or that he was a visible Christian for most of his life. They had a whole bunch of reasons for liking Freedom over anyone who had surfaced in the past half century.

The way he went out being one of the biggest.

It had happened in 1955. The Justice Legion had in 1951 finished off Baron Von Chaos who had been the last major super villain in the entire world at that time. There was a four year golden period in regards to villainy with not one evil plan even being attempted, such had been the righteous fury of the Justice Legion that no one even thought of being a villain. The square jawed psychopaths (you gotta be crazy to wear your underwear outside your pants) got so bored that they they would go out and beat up on day to day regular criminals just to release the adrenaline urges they were having.

Their boredom saturated state came to a crashing end on July 15th 1955, known forever more as the day the sun didn't come up.

A huge armada of massive extraterrestrial ships hung in Earth's orbit, the headquarters ship of this fleet being so large that it eclipsed the sun on cities across the Earth for thirty seven hours. Then the mothership changed position and course, then seemed to vanish from the sky. For a few hours all was well on Earth. The warships were still there, but they had done nothing since parking themselves in orbit. The smaller ships had launched no attack of aggression, nor had they tried to communicate any demands to humanity in any way. The giant warship receded from view and seemingly flew directly into the returning sunlight.

For about a day everything was hunky dory, despite the fact that the aliens were still in the sky. But then the nightmare began. Temperatures all across the world began falling as the sun seemingly gasped and wheezed in the sky. The aliens goals soon became frighteningly clear, the monstrous ship was somehow draining the sun of it's very energies! Terror soon gripped the surface of the Earth, fear and apocalyptic thinking gripping every city in the world as the light in the sky grew progressively dimmer and the chill was on.

The halls of power were shaken by the howls of the people to save them. It was the Soviet Union that struck first, flying one of their bombers up over one of the huge hovering ships and then dropping a hydrogen bomb upon it. The world then cheered as they watched the spaceship engulfed in the killer blast.

Unfortunately this provoked the extraterrestrials stationed around the Earth. They hadn't expected that these primates had any weapon of that strength class. They would not be fooled again. It was revealed that the craft not battleships at all, they were in fact carriers. From the starships came a fleet of swift and terrible extraterrestrial fighters. They descended upon the cities of the Earth and began to shoot up everything in sight with a horrible screaming fire. The American and Soviet air force attempted to resist but their machine guns proved ineffective against particle accelerators.

On one of the planes was the Justice Legion itself, led up by Captain Freedom. Drakken wasn't sure how, but they managed to get inside one of the alien warships. Even more incredibly they were able to hijack the interstellar ship and then fly it back to that enormous ship that was larger then Earth's moon. This amazing feat was cited as being one of the reasons of Freedom's greatness and Drakken had to admit he was impressed. Hacking into the systems of a superior race would have been difficult in the present, but in the 1950s it would have been something resembling magic more then science. That a man born in 1938 could figure out to fly an alien spaceship when humans hadn't even flown to moon, it was simply fantastic.

From there the heroics had escalated even further. They were able to dock the ship on the surface of the planetoid death barge and then somehow get pass what had to have been an entire planet's worth of the mysterious aliens. They shut down the ship and then somehow blew it up.

How it all went down no one was really sure, because the only thing that came back was an escape pod with Captain Freedom himself. All of his tights wearing friends had been killed in the process of planting a cluster of hydrogen bombs in the ship's core. And by the time he actually was back upon the surface of the Earth he wasn't in the best of shape. For a hero who was notriously braggy with his motto of "I'm ten feet tall and bullet proof" he wasn't saying much. After some mutterings about weird shaped aliens and unfathomable super sciences he collapsed to the ground and became cationic. The world didn't notice because the destruction of the alien ship had reversed the invaders attempt to siphon off the sun's energies and Earth entered the quick process of getting it's light and heat back. People were overwhelmingly happy just to be alive. So much so that they barely noticed that within a few weeks of the battle on the ship Captain Freedom's famous golden locks were now just withered remnants of hair on the floor, that his magnificent physique had withered away before his eyes until he became too weak to turn a can opener, nor that he lost all speech and became bedridden. Soon he was consigned to his home and couldn't leave his bed. He was not heard from again and assumed to be dead by all. After seeing snow falling in Los Angeles and icebergs forming in Pearl Harbor the world couldn't really focus on the plight of one man, even if it was Captain Freedom.

Drakken shivered at that memory. If Captain Freedom could die then it could be entirely possible that Kim Possible was now swimming with the fishes. Kimmy had always seemed so invincible, a demi-god child superhero...she had to be alrite. Drakken told himself that again for good measure. Kim Possible can't loose! Well okay maybe she could loose but certainly not die! She could do anything!

But then Captain Freedom had been a god amongst mortals once...and he had died too.

Drakken had to know.

He pulled out Ron's Kimmunicator and dialed up Kim's computer buddy for some immediate info.

Kim Possible had been in that hospital bed for a few hours, laying upon her back in helpless self pity and despair.

"...Ron...." She repeated for the fifty fourth time in the past three hours, then broke down into another round of wailing. Her parents had come in to see her, overjoyed that was alrite but unable to lift the gloom from her. For they had said that they both wanted her to quit crime fighting and leave this to the powerhouse weapons of the Pentagon. Because even with the danger to the world their was no way that any parent would let their kid get mauled like that again. No way they both had said, your done with this insanity.

And if she couldn't fight crime anymore then how would she be able to avenge him? And even if she went against her parents...could she do anything at all? These villains may have been inept against her on their lonesome but combined they were a nightmare squadron. She knew that despite vast numerical superiority the Armed Forces would not be able to defeat them, they would lunge about like an enraged elephant and stomp at any sign of movement but they would not be able to target such a small moving group of venomous insects. For the villains were too fast moving and even one sting from that proverbial wasp would be more then deadly enough to kill the entire elephant. For the myriad forces of evil had fissionable material now. And god only knew what they would be able to do with it.

The world was in massive danger. There was no doubt about it now. And in this dark hour the world's most elite hero was a broken shell weeping uncontrollably for her dead best friend. He had been alive just four hours ago.

"RONNNN!"

They had been together so long, from pigtails and nap time to high school and fighting incompetent villains. The memories assailed her like an icy rain that bit into the very core of her being. Ron had always been the center of her world, even if she'd never had the courage to tell him. She had always assumed there would be time. Now she would never tell him how much she had loved him. She cursed herself again. It wasn't really the same love as in a crush, but she had never told him really how much he meant to her. Ron would never know that he had been her support in those rare moments when she didn't have confidence, he had always just thought she was someone a lot better then him who had taken pity upon his poor 'loser' soul because of a guilt complex. She had never taken pity upon him, in fact she had needed him maybe as much as he had needed her.

Why in the hell had it been him anyways? He was almost totally pure, save for the occasional lusting after Shego. He had been almost child-like in his innocence sometimes, able to somehow think despite all of the abuse he received that life was somehow good, to believe in television wrestling even. To smile when he really had nothing going for him.

And it had been him. What the hell kind of cosmic joke was that? That's all was to her now, it was a cruel mean sadistic prank played on her by some force a lot bigger and stronger then she was. She decided firmly that she was going to become an atheist if she ever regained the will to live. After all of the multitude of good deeds she done hadn't she accumulated enough good karma or whatever ran those things to save the life of her best friend?

A nurse entered. "Miss Possible, there is a gentleman who wants to see you."

"Go away."

"He says he knows you. He looks pretty blue himself and by that I don't mean sad, I mean he really is BLUE. And he has flowers."

"Oh." Kim realized quickly. "Bring him in."

Drakken came in and sat down. He put the bouquet of roses next to her bed.

"Thanks." Kim said.

"Well there pretty cheap flowers, I'm pretty broke right now..."

"No. The gesture I mean. It means something to me that you came."

They sat there in silence.

"I can't believe what happened to Ron. Its horrible. If I had just one piece of evidence to use to prove the non existence of God this would be it."

Drakken looked at Kim Possible's purple bruised face, her eyes were completely red. This was not a whimper, she had cried torrents. Kim herself had never believed that it was possible to cry so much, but knew now that it was. She wondered if eventually she would dehydrate to death.

"Drakken." Kim said.

He put his blue hand on her shoulder, she said nothing. But then she looked up at him. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry...Drew..." She said after realizing she'd used his villain name. "...Drew my parents aren't going to let me do this anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"They won't let me fight crime anymore. Not after this and not after what happened to Ron."

"But they don't realize your our only weapon against these psychos?"

"Its an emotional issue. They don't want their Kimmy to get hurt."

"Well you have to do it anyways. Who else is going to stop them?"

"Even if I could, I don't think I can anymore."

Drakken scratched his greasy blach hair. "I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?"

"Your Kim Possible! You can do anything! You think your all that...and you are!"

Kim didn't smile or laugh or anything.

"Why can't you fight crime again?"

"Even if I wanted too I'm way too screwed up. Shego and Monkey Fist and all those other freaks put a serious hurt on me. I've gotten bones broken that I didn't even know I had in the first place."

"You'll get better. Your Kim Possible!"

"Drew quit your stupid fantasizing."

"What fantasy?"

"You see me as this god like super hero since I've beaten you so many times. Maybe this is because you don't want to admit that you got beaten by a kid. I don't know what your deal is. What I'm saying is...I'm just a kid! I'm sixteen years old! I'm not Superman with curves, I'm just a teenage girl!" Kim told him, she seemed on the verge of further collapse. "Do know how hard it was for me to actually beat you? You did a lot of things wrong but you came close, so much at times that only your own love of ranting allowed me to live to fight again. So did a bunch of other villains. Drew what I mean to say is that my luck has run out. I had it along time, but I know now that if I get captured by the villain and put in some trap...I will not escape."

"Are you sure your really Kim Possible?" He asked in confusion.

"It must be hard for you. But I'm sorry, I'm not as great as you thought. That was the fantasy, the one everyone has of me. But I am really just a frail human, one who's beaten and crushed and miserable."

Drakken knew what she was saying. He extended a hand. "Well I want you to heal. You'll never get revenge on my wicked ex-sidekick and company crying. Would Ron like that?"

"Whatever." She said in very non heroic fashion.

"Tomorrow morning after they release you...lets get out of this pit and go to my place."

"Wasn't it repo'ed by the IRS?"

"Well the original one on the island." Drakken sneered with malice. "But I have a low budget back up lair out in the desert."

"Why?"

"Do you want to go back home to your parents? After this they'll be thinking of you like your six years old all over again. It'll be total overprotective mode. You'll never be able to do anything or go anywhere until you turn 18 and are legal. That could be a LONG time to be treated like a child."

"Will you treat me any better?"

"Okay I'm now insulted." He said with a small degree of annoyance. But he didn't want to lash out, it would make her start crying again.

"You were my enemy so long. You might want to take this opportunity to...torture me."

"Please. Even in that stretcher you'd find a way. I always loose to you when we compete. ALWAYS."

She had the tiniest of smiles. "Okay Drakken. I don't need to go through humiliation nation."

That made Drakken a little happy. She hadn't completely stopped caring about herself. Or maybe it wasn't a sign of that, maybe she was just hoping for a minimalization of pain.

"You know, tomorrow morning your parents will come back. Can you walk?"

"Do I look like I can walk? I can barely pick up that remote control."

"Okay, I'll take you out to the car."

"You have a car?"

"I permanently borrowed one from your friend Bonnie in order to get here in the first place. Don't worry Kim, she has insurance. So those bloodsuckers will have to pay for it, not her."

"Oh okay."

"Well lets go."

"Did you forget the can't walk part? The one I mentioned five seconds ago?"

Drakken rubbed his chin. "Oh yeah. Well don't worry, I've got a back up plan." Drakken rolled his sleeves with an exaggerated effort and then picked Kim up. He then carried her out into the hall, dodging nurses and hiding in closets and empty rooms in order to avoid detection. He got her out, though it took almost forty minutes. He then put Kim in the back of his car. He had brought the bed sheets and a pillow down with them so Kim wouldn't get cold.

"I'll go real slow so you can lay down in back."

"Thanks." She smiled weakly. "That...must have been pretty hard for you."

"Naw its all good. I got homeboy ghetto strength now." Drakken smirked stupidly. He wasn't even sure what that meant other then that it was a lie. Kim only weighed a hundred twenty but Drakken's blue arms were swollen and now pumped up from the effort. As he bent his arm he felt his atrophied arms explode with raw, pained muscle. It felt quite nasty and very pleasant at the same time. This he reasoned was what 'feeling the burn' must be all about.

"Yeah. From training I gave you or whatever."

"Don't worry about a thing, just go to sleep. We'll start sorting business out in the desert. Trust me you'll back here soon and so covered in glory that everyone will more then forgive you for leaving."

"I hope."

"What do you mean do hope? Your Kim Possible!"

"And back in the day Captain Freedom...was Captain Freedom."

"So?"

"He was supposed to be all that too. But he wasn't."

"What do mean? He saved the whole world from the Sun Drinkers! And without any computer know how either, I can't imagine how he did all of it."

"Nor will you ever know. Since only he lived and he lost the ability to speak quickly afterward."

"Why dwell on that tragedy?"

"Because Drakken...among heroes he was a giant. No one was as good as he was. Like you said he hijacked a super tech alien ship with nothing except his raw intelligence. He kicked an entire alien civilization in the groin. I could never do that."

"Don't be a pessimist."

"Don't you remember what he said when he left Earth?"

"I'm ten feet tall and bulletproof...punk?"

"He said everyone would be fine."

"What does that matter?"

"If the greatest hero who ever lived can die fighting evil...then I can too."

"That's old stuff. Back when everything in the world was in black and white."

"Drew I hate to make you look stupid...but only the movies were in black and white."

"Really?" He asked bewildered.

"Yes." She said sadly.

"Does that matter at all? Captain Freedom died...so what? He's not the first hero to have died, nor the last."

"Yeah. But he was like me. We were both teen heroes, we both had martial arts skills, we both came from well to do families in the suburbs. I am a cheerleader, he was a quarterback. I had a goofy but wonderful sidekick, he had the stupid but well meaning Justice Legionnaires. We were both of intelligence levels far greater then normal."

"So?"

"Don't you see the parallel lives here?"

"I don't get it. Besides your worrying about nothing. Your the greatest hero of all time, not Freedom."

"I can see it now. I'm going to be out going against the whole evil army and everybody's gonna think that I've got it and that their gonna be safe...but I won't be able to win. Shego will cut my head clean off that time instead of just beating me up."

"Is that what your worried about? Failing again?"

They turned onto the freeway, as it was night there was very little traffic and Drakken was able to floor the stolen vehicle.

"Do you really need to break me down? Drew...I'm SCARED. I'm going to be out there against a whole world of evil and I won't have a chance. Drew I'm terrified. I don't want to die."

Kim Possible whimpered.

Drakken decided to turn the radio for a break from this desolation. He wasn't rewarded for this efforts.

"I'M ON A HIGHWAY TO HELLLLLL...HIGHWAY TO HELLLLLLL..." The Radio blared.