Okay, this began as a Tsukimineshrine challenge, again, but it seems to have taken on a life of it's own. DK-kun, I blame you. It's all because of your monster AU; you just want me to have one too, don't you? Well, I now have one. Grrr.

The Stipulations of the challenge went somewhat like this:

Topic: Missing
Genre: Any
Canon: By definition, no.
Rating: G to PG-13
Length: 1000 words or so. (hah! I laugh at your stipulations!)

Special Requirements: Rewrite any part of the canon, minus one main character. This character can never have existed.

Time Limit: Two weeks.

Well, here goes.

Disclaimer: CLAMP=Very, very wealthy and cool. Me=None of the above. Thus, me=not CLAMP. I'm sure they don't mind.

Warnings: Monster AU, this way. Rabid 'shippers of the younger generation, shoo! In fact, no 'ships whatsoever. Nyah.

Back to Before

Kinomoto Touya was seven years old, and the world had ended. His mother was dead, his mother who he had thought would always be there, and with her the tiny life that would have been his baby sister. They had both died that morning. He had hidden behind his father when they went into the hospital, knowing already that something was wrong when he didn't feel the flicker of lavender mother-magic reaching out for him as they entered. He had known his father had known what was wrong, and when they entered the room where his mother had been, and he saw the wax woman lying in the bed, Touya had understood as well. He had clung to his father's trouser leg while Fujitaka talked quietly to the doctors. A few words had slipped into his brain,

"Weak heart…congenital…pregnancy…too much for her…"

With a child's simple belief, Touya had been convinced up until the moment after that that his mother would be all right. Then he had seen his father's face. Fujitaka had been pale and drawn, almost worse than the still figure on the bed, and so very, very lost. Carefully, he had detached Touya from his leg and lifted him up.

"Touya," he had said, "I have to stay here for a while, but I'm going to call someone to take you home. When she arrives, I want you to go with her and be a good boy until I come home. All right?"

"Papa, where's Mama?" Touya had asked, in a desperate grasp for reassurance. "Will she come home with you?" Fujitaka had shaken his head.

"Mama…had to go away, Touya-kun. She's not coming back. I'm sorry."

Touya had nodded in silence. He had known what his father did not want to say, so he had not asked. Nor had he cried when the young woman with brown hair and running mascara had come and screamed at his father until her voice broke. He had gone with her without so much as a backward glance.

Back home in the rooms that were suddenly too empty, she had introduced herself as Sonomi, his mother's cousin. He had stared at her for a long time before asking her to leave him alone, please. She had complied almost eagerly, and so Touya was stumbling down the basement stairs in search of some comfort.

Still, he would not cry. Touya crept into the aisles of bookcases where he had so often before found comfort in the smell of paper and wood. 'The smell of ages', his mother had called it. Mama…the thought drove Touya further into the maze of shelves, seeking to bury himself in that smell she had loved. He looked around him for one book, one sign just for him that she had been there. None was forthcoming. Even so, he seemed to see with one part of his mind a trail of golden sparks leading around the corner, so he followed.

The trail hung like a necklace in the musty air before vanishing between two of the books on a secluded shelf. As Touya approached, one of those books began to glow, gently, with the same gold light as the trail he had been following. As if in a dream, his hand reached out and plucked it from the shelf. He held it loosely before him and ran his fingers slowly over the raised images. A golden lion chained behind a sun, and—he turned it over—on the other side, a pure silver moon. It struck Touya that something was missing, although he could not have said what. Still, the red leather under his fingertips filled him with a feeling of comfort.

The latch fell open with a delicate 'snick', and he jumped. Somehow, he had not expected the book to open. But, since it had…his natural curiosity got the better of him, and he slowly flipped it open.

Inside were no words, no explanation, nothing but an empty hollow that he felt instinctively ought not to be empty at all. No, not quite empty; Touya realized that what he had at first taken for the inside of the back cover was a single card, the exact shape of the hole and patterned in red and gold like the cover. Clumsily, he pried the card out and stared at it. If the back was beautiful, the front was even more so. The border, decorated with sun and moon like everything else, framed a picture of a cloaked woman with a serene smile on her face. In her hands she held a clock, which seemed to leap out of the picture to stare at Touya. Slowly and carefully, he sounded out the English word across the bottom of the card.

"Re…turn?"

The sun was low outside, casting long shadows across the hospital bed. Touya glanced around him in surprise. He knew where he was, but it wasn't where he had been a moment ago. His frightened glance took in the immaculate white walls, the machines with their steady beeps, the two figures by the bed—Touya's breath caught in his throat. No, it couldn't be, it couldn't! She was gone, gone, gone, not lying here looking frail and at the same moment so much more alive for that. It couldn't be, it wasn't possible, there was no way-!

Touya's brain finally got itself under control. Perhaps there was a way. Magic could do a lot of things. Now that he looked properly, he could see the card still in his hand brimming with power. It had brought him back to another time. A time when his mother was there, smiling, not being too still and too silent and too far away to touch. He wanted to run up and hug her the way he had not when he had left the day before, but a second thought told him to wait until she was alone, and he could talk to her without being seen.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Fujitaka was saying.

"Yes, I'm sure," Nadeshiko replied. "The worst danger is that I'll die of boredom before I can leave. Did you know they won't let me do anything except watch television?" Fujitaka smiled.

"Would you like me to bring some books tomorrow?"

"As long as they're not too long. I can't promise to take an entire college course in a month, even for you." They kissed. Touya involuntarily made a face. "Ah!"

"Nadeshiko-san?"

"It's nothing," she said. "Just a twinge." She smiled determinedly at her husband. "Just think, when all this is over, we'll have a beautiful baby girl."

"Mmm." A child's voice called from the hallway, and Touya jumped to hear his own voice. Fujitaka stood. "I should go take Touya home. Good night, Nadeshiko-san. I love you."

"I love you too, Fujitaka."

Once his father and, he knew, himself as well, were gone, Touya slipped out of the shadows. He had intended to wait until his mother was asleep before coming closer, but she saw him first.

"Touya? Why are you still here?" He jumped at her voice, and slowly walked up to her. His mother still looked so full of life; even knowing what was coming, Touya couldn't quite believe it. "Touya?"

"I'm not, Mama," he answered. "I came back from tomorrow. I don't know how…but I wanted to talk to you." Nadeshiko's eyes widened. She looked scared, for the first time since Touya had seen her.

"Why? What happened? Nothing happened to Fujitaka, did it?" Touya almost smiled. His mother was always so quick to worry about others.

"No, Papa's—he's not hurt." He could barely bring himself to speak the next words, in case leaving them unsaid would make them unreal. "It's you, Mama. Mama, you—you died tonight."

Her eyes opened very wide and she stared at him for a moment that seemed to stretch into years. A knife of fear flashed through Touya's mind—what if he'd killed her now, with his words?—but then she relaxed, and the fear subsided. She seemed almost tranquil as she looked at him.

"Oh, honey," she said, "come here." She put out her arms and drew him to her, and Touya hugged his mother as he had not been able to for a month, once they were afraid it might hurt the baby. "And you wanted to come see me again? Oh, baby," she always called him that when she was taking care of him, "I'm so sorry I couldn't stay around. But I can't, not even for you."

"Why, Mama?" he asked.

"Because it's my time," she replied. "My life has run out, and that's all there is to it. You wouldn't want me living a life with nothing left, would you?" Trembling, Touya shook his head. He knew what she was saying, but he still didn't want it to be true. "I'm going to a place called Heaven, I hope. And there everything is beautiful and laughing and there are lots and lots of flowers, and no one will ever tell me I'm too delicate or mustn't strain myself." She laughed. Touya knew she had hated being cooped up in such a small room. "I'll be there, and so will your sister. I'm sorry you won't get to be a big brother, Touya, but you'll be fine. Promise me you will."

"I promise." He almost cried. He didn't want to be fine, he felt as if nothing would ever be fine again, but he would still promise.

"And I promise you something else: I promise that I'll come and visit whenever you really need me, and I'll bring your sister with me so that you can meet her too. Will that do?" He nodded. Nadeshiko smiled. "Now, go on back to tomorrow, Touya, and remember that I love you very much."

Touya stood and moved away from the bed. He could feel the card in his hand pulling him back to the day he had come from. A dark vortex curled open behind him and he fell backwards into it. As the hospital room wavered and vanished before his sight, he could barely hear his mother's voice calling,

"Goodbye, Touya! I love you!"

Touya opened his eyes and stared at the book in his hands. It was back, and so was he. But the book was not the same. Where there had been a thick stack of red and gold card, there were now none at all. The only one left was the one he still held in his hand, and which at that moment was caught in a passing breeze and would have blown away had he not been holding it so tightly. As if in response to his thought, the book, which had blown closed, began once again to glow. A small yellow figure lifted itself out of the front cover. It looked at him. He looked at it.

"Konyanyachiwa!" The creature waved at him. Touya stared. "What, no introduction? Who're you?" Touya finally found his voice, which he had seemed to have lost somewhere on his journey to the day before.

"Kinomoto Touya. And, ah, who are you?" He wanted to ask, 'what are you?', but didn't. The creature gave him what it probably thought was a glare.

"I happen to be the Guardian Beast of the Seal, the one and only Keroberos!"

"…Oh." He continued staring. "Seal of what?"

"Of the Clow Cards, of course! The most powerful magical objects in the world, made by the great Clow Reed! It's my job to make sure they don't go missing, and it's…very…" about that time, the creature noticed that the book it was sitting on was empty. "…Where are the Clow Cards?!"

"You mean this?" Touya took advantage of the alleged guardian's distraction to poke him with the card, and smirked ever so slightly when it pounced on it like a long lost lover.

"Yeah! These! There were a lot more of them, too. Where are they?"

"I read the name on the card," Touya began, "and then there was this…light, sort of, only not, and then I was—I was in yesterday. Mama was there." Despite his best efforts, his voice faltered at the words. The creature fluttered up to hover in his face.

"Why? Did something happen to your mom?" Touya nodded.

"Yeah. This morning, she—she died." The creature seemed less surprised than sympathetic. It patted Touya gently on the head with one yellow paw.

"I'm sorry, kid."

"Mm. So, anyway, when I came back, the book was empty. That's all."

"WHAAAAT??!!!" The self-styled guardian beast flew around in a frantic circle. It was all Touya could do to keep a straight face as it narrowly missed cannoning into bookshelves more than once. Finally, it got itself under control. "Okay, kid-"

"Touya."

"-Touya, you opened the Book and let the Cards out, so you're going to have to help me get them back!" Touya regarded the guardian for a moment.

"Okay." It flipped itself over in surprise.

"Okay? You aren't completely freaked out or anything?"

"No," Touya said curiously, "why would I be?"

"You're weird, kid. I like you. Now, do you have a pen or something?" Shrugging, Touya went to the corner of the shelves and picked up a ballpoint pen of his father's. There was always at least one in any given place in the house except the desks. "Okay, write your name on the Card you've got. Quick now, before it activates!" He did so, feeling mildly reluctant to write on something that wasn't his. His mother had always told him never to put marks on other people's things. Still, as soon as his name was on, it the feel of the piece of cardboard changed. It was as if the act of writing on it had made it his, really his. The creature—Keroberos, he reminded himself—seemed pleased.

"Right. Now, go stand over there. Leave the Book, 'kay?" Touya did so. Keroberos hovered over the cover, and began to glow with the same gold light that had drawn him to the book in the first place. "Key of the Seal." Touya's eyes widened. A small key had appeared out of the center of the clasp, and was floating placidly in the air before him. The guardian continued, "There is one who wishes a contract with you. A boy. His name is Touya. O Key, grant him the power! Release!" To Touya's continuing surprise, the key metamorphosed before his eyes into a staff as long as his arm. He could sense the magic all around him, and knew that whatever was going on was important; more important, possibly, than anything he'd done before in his life. "Grab the staff, Touya! Quickly!" Hesitantly, Touya reached out. As soon as his hands closed around the staff, the magic dispersed. "All right!" yelled Keroberos. "A Cardcaptor is born!"

Touya stared at the staff in his hands. It was a beautiful thing, blue as the summer sky with a swept silver head like some metal bird of prey. It was, he thought, entirely too magnificent a thing for a seven-year-old boy who had broken his last pair of roller skates by trying to do a flip on them. Despite his hesitance, however, a part of him knew that this staff was meant for him, only for him, or else for no one. It was that part which said nothing, only turned the staff over and over in his hands. Keroberos grinned.

"Guess it likes you, huh? Anywho, we'd better get going if we wanna capture all the Cards!"

"Not now," Touya mumbled, suddenly exhausted, "too tired…" Without further ado, he fell asleep on the floor, the wand he held reverting back to a key which settled itself around his neck.

Keroberos gazed at him for a while.

"Return's a strong card," he said. "Must've tired him out. So young, and in the state he's in…poor kid. Still, he made Return obey him, and that doesn't happen often. This kid's something special, I can tell. Maybe he'll be the one…"

The yellow animal fluttered down to rest in Touya's arms, where Fujitaka found them two hours later, a dark-haired child fast asleep with a stuffed toy in his arms. He didn't notice the toy snoring slightly when he bent to pick Touya up, nor the muffled grunts when their movement up the stairs jostled him. Fujitaka didn't feel like noticing much at all.

Still, both guardian and guarded slept, and dreamt…

End Chapter 1

See, I'm very fixated on Touya, and not the younger kids, so they're not going to be a part of this, inasmuch as they're not born yet. I know I killed more than one character, but only one never existed. I honestly think this might have happened if Nadeshiko had died before Sakura was born. Plus, it was fun to write.

If I ever do create any future chapters, look out for chibi characters and far too many OCs. Fear it.

Feedback would be quite nice, particularly on how you think I did with my characterization of Touya. Too mature? Not mature enough? Not cute enough? Please do tell!

Bai now! ;}