Confused Paths

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1…

Chapter 2 - Dark Summer (Part II)

Unlike its predecessor, July 30th was an uneventful day for Harry. He woke up early, cooked the breakfast for the Dursleys, did his chores, and locked himself at his room. At noon, he left for lunch, then got back to his room, left at night for dinner and for a bath, then locked himself again. Exactly like every other day. He went to sleep due to exhaustion, after repeated reminders of what happened at the Department of Mysteries.

July 31st started the same way. Harry woke up early, once again, to cook the breakfast; he ate his own part and went back to his room. There, he found out that three big eagle owls were waiting for him, carrying two packages and two letters. One of the packages was very long and thin, and Harry has a suspicion about its content. He picked it first, and opened the letter that came with it.

Mr. Potter

I congratulate you on your 16th birthday. I thought that having this back would be a nice enough gift to celebrate the occasion. I hope I'm not wrong. Professor McGonagall also sends her congratulations and asks if you would like to be back at the Gryffindor Quidditch team, as a seeker and as the captain.

Albus Dumbledore (Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft, Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederation of Wizards)

After reading the letter, Harry was sure of the content of the package. He tore apart the paper that covered it to reveal the broom that he had received from Sirius almost three years ago. His Firebolt was there, looking as clean as if it were new. 'Someone must have cleaned it before they sent', he thought, and smiled amused at the thought of Argus Filch having to clean a broom.

Harry kept looking at the broom, and felt a strong urge to leave the room and fly. He loved to fly, as if it was a second nature, and he hadn't had the opportunity to do it in a long time. He fought back his urges, and decided to wait until he had come back to Hogwarts. He thought about being back to team, and the trainings, and then… it struck to his mind. The letter said that McGonagall wanted him to be the captain of the team. He… As the captain? He had never thought about that before. Since he joined the team, there was always someone else older than him, someone that could fill the post. But now he would be the older player of the team, and no one was more fit than him. He smiled inwardly and decided to think about it later.

He opened the second letter then, and, as he expected, it was from Hagrid. He was Harry's oldest friend in the wizarding world, and always would send Harry a birthday present, even if it sometimes was a "little" dangerous. This time it wasn't.

Hey 'Arry, how're ya? Trust you're fine, eh, since I've heard nothing from ya. I just wanted to tell you "Happy Birthday". I'm sendin' yeh some new cakes I've been bakin'. I discovered a new recipe, and Dumbledore told me they're a lot better now. Hope ya like them. I'm eager to see yeh back at Hogwarts.

Hagrid

Harry opened the smaller package and found some of Hagrid's cakes there. Harry touched the surface with his finger; they seemed a lot softer now. 'Maybe I can bite them properly now', Harry laughed to himself.

Harry thought that this year he had got a smaller number of presents than the years before, even if last year he had met a lot of new people. Maybe Ron and Hermione would be sending his gift later, or they wouldn't send it at all, because they were angry at his response two days ago. Harry had been a little bitter when writing the letter, but that was how it was supposed to be; he didn't want people whining about Sirius' death. And, this way other people wouldn't be involved in his fight. The fight against Voldemort.

Harry had thought a little about it, after writing Ron's response. He was worried about his friends getting involved in the process. They didn't know of the prophecy yet; but when they did, Harry would want them out of this. It was bad enough for him than Hermione had almost died, and that Ron was put out the fight by that weird brain, and that his other friends had been badly wounded. How would he have explained to Hermione's parents if she had died too? He didn't want to think about that. Maybe it was better if he kept using Sirius' death as an excuse to keep them away.

Harry was lost in this train of thought, when he heard a commotion down the stairs. There was someone downstairs, and he or she was coming up. He saw someone open his room's door; he expected it to be Aunt Petunia, telling him to distract the guest while she would make him or her a cup of tea, but instead, he saw himself staring at the familiar face of Remus Lupin, his former professor at Hogwarts and his father's last friend alive.

"Hello Harry, Happy Birthday", Lupin said, with a smile.

"Hello, Professor", Harry replied, a little shocked by the sudden visitor.

"Sorry I didn't warn you I was coming, but it had to be a little surprise for you", he said, chuckling. "Sorry I haven't brought your gift with me, but I guess I'll have time to give it to you later. By the way, I brought Ron and Hermione's gifts. They asked me to deliver them when I met you", he completed, and handed Harry two packages of different sizes.

Harry went for the largest one first, and found it was from Ron. 'Ron would never give me something that had the shape of a book', he thought. 'I already have the one from Chudley Cannons'. He opened it, and found it to be a rectangular box of Bettie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. It was Harry's favorite food on the Wizarding world, and Ron knew that. There was a quick note from Ron wishing Harry a happy birthday and saying that he couldn't give Harry a Chudley Cannons T-shirt because he had only one. Harry gave a half-hearted laugh at that remark.

Harry then proceeded to open Hermione's present. Her presents were always somewhat more useful than everybody else's, so he wondered what had she given him this year, since the package was so small. He opened it and found it to be a pendant, with a green jewel on it. . It wasn't the kind of "Hermione gift", he thought, and looked at Lupin as if looking for an exclamation. Lupin let out a small chuckle at Harry's confused face and said, "Read the card".

Dear Harry

First of all, Happy Birthday Now you are only one year of being an adult in our world. Hope you don't think you should be having fun every time you can. You've got to study to make sure you'll be a successful adult later! Let my ramblings aside (Harry chuckled at her confession), I thought of giving this to you because it really goes well with your eyes. I don't know if you like jewelry though, and I'll understand if you don't want to wear it. I think you should because girls would swoon at your feet if you did.

Love,

Hermione

'When did Hermione begin to notice my eyes?', Harry thought. 'And well, I'll be sure to wear it, but it's not that I want any girls to notice me right now…', he completed to himself. Then, he opened he pendant's clasp and fastened it to his neck. Lupin gave a smile of approval and Harry said, "I'll be sure to thank them for the gifts".

"You can do that later Harry, now I have something to talk to you…". Lupin was interrupted by another loud sound downstairs. Seeing Harry's worried face, he quickly said, "Don't worry, Moody's down there and I'm sure that was one of his lovely conversations with your uncle". Harry smirked at that remark and expected Lupin to continue. "As I was saying, I have something to tell you. I decided that this could wait until you were past mourning over Sirius", his voice weakened a bit there, "but I received a letter from Hermione yesterday and she said that she was worried about you. She said you were still mourning for Sirius death, and then I decided I should talk to you".

Harry didn't want to talk about that, but he couldn't avoid that now. He knew he wouldn't be able to avoid that for long; so, maybe it was time to do it now. He nodded, as a signal for Lupin to continue.

"Harry, Sirius was the last one of my friends. His death hit me as forcefully as it hit you, I think." Harry had forgotten about what Sirius meant to Lupin. It was the first time he ever considered that someone was feeling as bad as he was, and decided to listen to Lupin carefully. The professor continued, "But I'm sure he didn't want you to lose your life mourning over him. He would want you to go on, to be happy, and to joke with your friends, that kind of thing. I'm sure you know, as well as I do, that there was nothing he would enjoy more than a good prank". Harry nodded again. Lupin was right; Sirius was a happy person, even if he hadn't been much of it last year. But then, he was locked at Grimmauld Place; it wasn't like he could have any fun. He even tried to have some fun, "living through Harry", as Mrs. Weasley had said. He sure would want to Harry to be happy, to make up for the twelve years at Azkaban, or for the year at Grimmauld Place.

But, even if Harry wanted to be happy, there were two things against that. One, he had lost everything he could call a family; and two, there was the prophecy. The damned prophecy that condemned Harry and everyone he loved to me constantly in deathly danger. He raised his head and his gaze met Lupin's. Lupin seemed to understand.

"Harry… I know I'm not him, but I'm sure that if you want someone to be your family, I would be glad to." He looked away, as if in expectancy of Harry's response. The boy remained silent. Lupin continued, "I'm not doing it because I'm the last of your father's friends. I'm doing this because I really care for you, you know." Harry nodded in concordance. Lupin would be the most obvious choice for that. "I'm sure you can be a great godfather, Professor. It'll take me some time for the change, but I'm sure we can work it out." He smiled at Lupin. Lupin walked to him and said, "Well, you could begin the change with that "Professor" thing. I'm not your professor anymore, so it would be better if you called me Remus then". Lupin then pushed Harry into a fatherly hug, surprising the boy. Harry returned it, a little unsure of what to do.

"Well, now that we've had that cleared", Lupin smiled again, "I have something else to talk. It's about Sirius' will". He then made a clearly sad face. "He left you almost everything he owned, see. And that includes Grimmauld Place and a third of the money in his vault".

Harry was shocked. "Grimmauld Place… Belongs to me now?" Lupin nodded. "And well, since it's a magical house, no one can enter it without the consent of its master, who happens to be you. You must go there to open the house, then people will be able to enter it again."

"No one can go inside?" Lupin nodded again. "So where's the Order's meeting by now?" Harry asked. "That's the point. We're meeting at Hogwarts, but it's tiresome for the members to keep going from Hogwarts to London constantly. Sirius suggested, at his final will, that you let the Order continue to use it as the headquarters, but that's up to you. Dumbledore also asked you the same thing."

Dumbledore. Harry was still mad at the headmaster, about the prophecy thing. He should have known of it ages ago; but instead, the headmaster had waited until Sirius' death to reveal it. It would be a nice revenge for Harry, forbidding them to use the house as headquarters. Harry then thought again, 'What will I win, hampering the Order's movements? They are working against Voldemort, and so am I. They will probably be my only help at the final battle.' Harry turned to face Lupin and said, "You can use the house, of course". He smiled at Lupin, who smiled back. "Good enough, then. Pack your things because we're leaving there now."

"Now?", Harry exclaimed. "Yes, now. Moody's down there waiting, and Tonks is outside on her car." Lupin said, matter-of-factly. "Car?", Harry asked again. "Yes, a car", Lupin explained patiently. "You know Tonks' father was a muggle, right? She knows how to drive a muggle car, and her father left her one when he died. You can't apparate; your uncle and aunt have their fireplace blocked; and traveling by broomsticks would draw much attention, we decided to come by muggle means."

"But didn't you pick me up by flying last year?", Harry asked, while packing his trunk. "Yes, we did, but there was night and we had a lot of people to make your guard. I'm afraid we don't have that many now, since Voldemort's return was made public. The people we have are working on other things by now." Harry nodded in understanding, and finished packing. He closed Hedwig on her cage and then turned to Lupin to ask one last thing.

"You came here to fetch me, right?" The adult wizard nodded. "So, if I had refused to give Grimmauld Place to the Order, what would you have done?" Lupin seemed a little shocked by the question. He sighed, then answered, "We didn't thought of that possibility". Harry laughed.

Lupin levitated Harry's trunk and they proceeded to go downstairs. Harry saw Moody saying something to his uncle Vernon that made the fat man flinch. Moody then saw Harry coming down.

"Hello boy", the old auror said, with a smile (or, at least, Harry thought it was a smile).

"Hello, Professor Moody", Harry answered. "I've told you already, Potter, quit the "Professor" thing. I never really taught you anything", Moody replied. Then he turned to the Dursleys and said, "I was just asking your relatives if they treated you well… Seems they've done quite good, at least you didn't lose any weight. Then I started telling your uncle how did I get this eye", he said, raising the hat he was using to cover his magical eye, "and the scars. He was very interested", Moody said. When Lupin arrived with the trunk, Moody said, "Time to go then. See you later, Dursley. I look forward for the end of our… conversation." Moody smiled sarcastically, and then left the house.

Harry turned to Lupin to ask when he was returning Privet Drive. Lupin, as if sensing his question, said, "You won't be coming back until next year, Harry. Say goodbye to your relatives". Harry knew it was useless saying goodbye to the Dursleys, but didn't complain. He turned to his relatives and said sheepishly, "Er… Goodbye then", then left the house, Lupin following him with his trunk.

Tonks' car, unlike what Harry expected, was as normal as it could be. Harry couldn't say which model it was, but he definitely had seen one before, and the silver color was also very common. At the sight of the car, Harry thought, 'If you don't take Tonks and Moody's appearances in consideration, we could almost look like muggles…' His train of thought was interrupted when he first saw Tonks. Her hair was black and long, and her features were somewhat familiar… She was looking like… Sirius.

'Maybe that's her real face. She was Sirius' cousin, wasn't she? It's normal that she looks like him… It's weird that I've never thought of that before'. He then opened the car's door, while Lupin was storing his trunk on the luggage compartment. Tonks turned to him and said, "Wotcher Harry!"

"Hey Tonks", the boy answered, with a smile. "You look… very normal today", he added. The female auror smiled. "Well… That's the real me. It's the first time you're seeing me like this, isn't it? Don't worry, I won't be using it much", she laughed. Harry got a little embarrassed and tried to correct himself. "I think it looks good on you", the boy said. "Oh, isn't he the little gentleman? Thank you, Harry", she said, and smiled at him. Lupin then entered the car, sitting at the passenger seat. Moody entered last, and sat at the backseat with Harry. "Let's go then", he snarled.

Harry thought the trip was very quick. The four of them were talking almost all the time, telling Harry the latest news about the war. Voldemort hadn't made any move during the last month, and that was quite suspicious. But now that the Ministry finally admitted Voldemort's return, the Order's business was quite easier, at least. They had more aurors on the order now, and most of them were standing guard in chosen positions, in case of any Death Eater attacks. 'That's good', Harry thought, 'but if Voldemort shows up, I'm the only one who can kill him'. He wondered if Lupin, Tonks and Moody knew about the prophecy. He decided he could ask Lupin later.

When they arrived at Grimmauld Place, Harry suddenly felt depressed. He tried to concentrate on Lupin's words, 'Sirius would've wanted you to go on with your life'. It was quite hard to do. The three adult were standing by his side, waiting for him to unlock the house's door. Harry grabbed the door's handle, and finally opened the door. 'Sirius would've wanted the Order to have it', he thought, 'I must do it for him, if not for me'.

The four of them entered the house. Regardless that someone had been there two months ago, the housed seemed abandoned for years. They were walking slowly, not wanting to wake up Mrs. Black's portrait, but got quite the surprise when they passed by her. The portrait was destroyed, and Kreacher, the house elf, was lying on the floor, beheaded.

"Mrs. Black must have ordered it", Lupin explained. "As she was a part of the house now, she must have known when the master was changed. Obviously, she would hate to see her house in the hands of a "non-pureblood" wizard", Lupin carefully avoided the term "half-blood", and ordered Kreacher to destroy the portrait, then to behead himself". Harry nodded in understanding, as he knew the explanation was directed to him. "I'll take care of this later. Let's move on".

When they reached the kitchen, Harry remembered the other resident of the house. "What happened to Buckbeak?", he asked. Lupin turned to him and answered, "Maybe it's still on Sirius' room", Lupin answered, "You should check there, while we take care of some things here". Harry noticed that everyone lowered their heads when Sirius was mentioned, which meant he wasn't the only one who missed him. He nodded, and went upstairs to Sirius' room, thinking, 'Of course, he was Lupin's last friends, Tonks' cousin, and I believe Moody liked him too'.

When Harry arrived at Sirius' room, he saw that Buckbeak was still there. The hippogriff looked really bad, though, and walked slowly to Harry, who petted him. "You look quite bad, friend", he said. "What have you been eating? Rats?", the boy asked, looking at some small bones scattered by the floor. "I'll get you something better to eat. Just wait". Harry petted the hippogriff one last time and went back to the kitchen.

"He's there, and still alive, and seems like he has been eating rats to survive", he said, when he arrived there. Everyone was still looking quite gloom, but Lupin smiled and said, "I'll bring him something to eat later. Why don't you take your trunk to your room and wait until we call you for the lunch?" Harry nodded, and was almost leaving the room, when he turned back and said, "I'll be with Buckbeak". Then he finally left.

Lupin had showed up some minutes later, with some meat for Buckbeak, and telling Harry to go downstairs. They had lunch that day, then the adults kept themselves busy using some cleaning spells around the house. Harry soon adopted the same routine of Privet Drive, and spent almost all the time on Sirius' old room, with Buckbeak. Lupin and Tonks were permanently there with him; Moody spent almost all of the time away, and he had received some visits from Kingsley and Mundungus. Then, one week later, he received some visitors he knew he couldn't avoid.

It was nine in the morning, and Harry just had breakfast, and was lost on his "talks" with Buckbeak, when Lupin showed up at the door and said there was someone there. He didn't say who it was though. Harry thought that it should be Moody, or Kingsley, so he would just go down and say "Hello". When he was leaving the room, he was surprised to see his best friend Hermione coming in his direction. She threw herself on him on a crushing hug.

"Harry!", she said smiling. "I've missed you so much! I'm so happy you're well, I was so worried and…" Harry interrupted her and walked back to Sirius' room. "Let's talk inside", he told her with a smile. She nodded.

Harry was really happy to see Hermione. When she hugged him, he felt really better than he had been feeling lately, but he was sure she would want to talk about his silence during the last month. And he didn't really want to talk about that in the middle of a corridor. He sat on Sirius' bed (his bed, actually, since he was sleeping there for a week now), and she sat by his side. He spoke first.

"I didn't have the chance to thank you for the gift. I really like it, thank you", he smiled at her and showed that he was wearing the pendant. Harry was sure she saw her blush a little before answering, "I'm glad you liked it, I thought you wouldn't want to use". He shook his head negatively and she smiled again.

"Are all the Weasleys here?", he asked. Harry was dreading seeing them, since he refused going to the Burrow at his birthday. "Yes, they are.", Hermione answered. "Well, not all of them. Percy, Bill and Charlie aren't, and the twins are at their store by now, but they will show up at night." Harry nodded and then turned away from her, looking around the room. He was expecting Hermione to talk about Sirius, since Lupin said she was worried about him. They wouldn't ask each other, "How was your summer?", because they knew what it had been like; Harry's was a big gloom; and Hermione's was a stay at the Burrow, from which Harry didn't want any details. An awkward silence stayed between them for a while, until Hermione softly asked, "How are you feeling, Harry?"

Harry turned to her again, and saw she was staring at him with concerned eyes. It was a lot easier talking about the Sirius subject now, since the talk to Lupin. He knew that Lupin would do his best to be a good godfather, and he was thankful about that. The main reason Harry kept himself distant now was the prophecy. The damned prophecy that stated everyone he loved had to be in constant danger. He looked into Hermione's eyes again; he knew he couldn't lie to her, but he didn't want to involve her, nor Ron, into this. He finally answered.

"I'm fine". His voice was unsure. She made an expression of disbelief. "So why's that you've been avoiding everyone?", she asked. Harry knew that was the time to tell her everything about the prophecy, but he didn't really want to involve her. So, he sighed, and decided against telling her. "It's Sirius, you know. I feel like… It's my fault. I led him into his death, and now I really miss him". He looked away. He couldn't lie to her and keep staring, he felt bad. She was the one that always comforted him, and now he was lying to her. She said softly, "I thought you were a little more comfortable about that subject. Professor Lupin told me you two talked about it, and that you talked about Sirius normally now… Maybe you just need some more time to think about it." She gave him a quick hug that surprised him. When she backed away, someone opened the door. It was Ron.

"Hey mate", Ron said. Harry looked at him. He was some inches taller. "Hey Ron", he said. "Won't you stop growing? Soon you'll be using Hagrid as a table". Ron smiled and said, "What about you? Even sitting, I can see you've grown a bit too". Harry gave him a half-smile. Ron then caught Hermione's hand and said, "Mom and Ginny want your help with something. Let's go down there". Hermione nodded. When they were leaving, Harry said, "Hey Ron". Ron turned to him. "Thanks for the gift. That was a really big box, I couldn't even finish it yet." Ron smiled, and said, "I knew you would like it", then left with Hermione. She shot him a last concerned look before leaving. Harry realized Hermione had matured a bit too, but didn't wonder much about that. There was something else in his mind.

'Why do I feel this bad when I see them together?', he kept asking himself. When Ron had touched Hermione's hand, he felt awful. Like something was burn within him. He tried to name that feeling. He couldn't tell it. He had never been good with emotional subjects. He gave up trying.

Deep inside his mind, he knew it was called jealousy.