Author's note: I'll just skip the usual gibberish and tell you that some lines may have been taken from movies, television shows, cartoons (Rugrats and All Grown Up references have been and will be dotting the entire fic), other fanfics, and actual quotations from famous people. Otherwise, this story is original.
Rugrats Midlife: Reunion
Chapter Ten: So Tell Us About It
Lunchtime on Tuesdays was, more often than not, at the Finster's old house, most often because it gave me the opportunity to talk to Mrs. Finster about certain things I'm confronted with, like work problems, emotional situations, the things that a bachelor like me often confronts. But this Tuesday was different. I just fetched Kimi from work at downtown-she has her own office as well, just downtown, and as I was driving my Cresta to the "old house", as she and Chuckie would call it, doubts were forming in my mind as to whether I should actually show up.
"Can we tell them?" I asked. Can, not should. We knew that it will come out one way or another, and if it does it should come from us. I just didn't know if I had the mental and emotional constitution to tell the entire gang (who we invited to the house for lunch) to admit what some of them already know.
"Don't worry Tom, it'll work out fine," Kimi replied. "Remember, my mom knows about this already, and she won't tell anyone about it if she promised not to. I'm sure we can." At this point, we approached the Spanish-style house and stopped at the carpark. The Camaro(Chuckie's), two Aztecs (Phil's and Angelica's), a station wagon (Malcolm's), a Ford Explorer (Fred's) and a Skoda (Dil's) were parked neatly outside, making me wonder what the local neighborhood traffic cops will make of this build-up.
The first thing I heard as soon as I opened the door was a "Ten hut!" courtesy of Phil (ever the gang jester) and 6 people standing up at attention. For me, it ain't funny.
"Cut that out, Philip, this is serious," I replied dourly. The folks all acknowledged and took their seats, Lillian doing so after elbowing her twin in his ample gut.
Now to business. Kimi had also entered the house and stared at the rest of the crew (Madie, Suze and Dil helping the old lady take care of lunch) like an astronaut staring blankly into space. That meant the initiative for beginning the announcement fell on me.
"Well, fellas," I began, "nice to be here and all, I just want to tell...to tell you...uhmm..." The last time I lost myself in my lines was when I got the Fleur d'Or at the Junior Directors award, 2nd. Year Jr. High, for "Local Color: My Neighborhood in Black and White". Fortunately, I was able to recover enough to stammer a few words of acknowledgment then. No such luck now.
"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Angelica shouted, only to be met by a "Will you please let them be, Angelica" from the kitchen courtesy of both Susie and Mrs. Finster. The former reprimand got both of us talking.
"KIMI AND I ARE A COUPLE!" I said on my part, with Kimi of course saying the same thing, with only my name on it. Silence met our announcement. Now Chuck was the one staring blankly into space.
After a few minutes, Philip broke the ice by asking, "Can you please repeat that?"
"I'll handle this, Tom," Kimi said to me as she cleared her throat and repeated what she had said earlier. "Tommy and I are a couple." Silence permeated the ground floor yet again.
"Did I hear that right, Kira?" I heard Madie ask from the kitchen.
"Indeed you have," Mrs. Finster replied rather calmly. "Tommy and Kimi are a couple."
"Oh," Dil responded. That set the stage for one-liners in the crowd, mostly made up of knew it's and what the's as the replies of the day. Chuckie was still as stone-faced as Fifi (the purple poodle was sent to the taxidermist after she died) on the fireplace, while Lil felt vindicated at her speculation ("I told you they had something with each other," she said, to be rebutted with a "Did not, Lilian Cruz" from Phil, and the rest is history).
"Fellas, the curry's ready!" Dil shouted as he entered the living room, followed by Mrs. Finster, the latter approaching Chuckie.
"Ma, a full pitcher of cold water please," Chuckie said, dry and slurring.
"No glass to go with it?" his stepmother asked.
"It's not for my throat, it's for my face. And please make sure it's ice cold."
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"Well, the lamb curry's very good," Malcolm commented after wiping his mouth with a towel. "Not spicy enough though-Susie's meanwhile is a bit on the wild side-"
"So you want to make an issue about that, Malcolm?" Susie replied, her eyes slit and threatening.
"No, ehm, n-n-no, sugarbabe, heck no, ahh, uhhm, I'd better be eating right now," he stammered, then changing the subject. "Is Chuckie actually going to eat his food or stare at it like crazy?"
"I'm eating, I'm eating, not to worry, I'm eating," he replied as he stuffed five spoonfuls of curry and rice into his mouth. I could tell he was still shivering, though.
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After lunch, I asked for time alone at the yard, while the rest were talking about old times. All of a sudden I heard footprints crunch into the ground.
"Charles," I said, acknowledging his arrival.
Yes, it's Chuckie alright. A little shaken from the shock of hearing that Kimi and I were lovers (and, I assume, the ice-cold water Mrs. Finster doused on him), he appeared in his plaid long-sleeved polo shirt and white pants (he was in his suit and tie awhile back) and he had combed his hair ala Max Weinberg (the drummer in the old Late Night talk show). Only silence greeted me, but I began anyway.
"Y'know, Chuck, I can't believe it either," I said, not certain if this unpredictable person named Chuck Finster will understand. "Just happened so fast, actually. Loveless for one day, head over heels the next."
Charles just looked at me, reassured. Reassured?
"Welcome to my world, Pickles. High School, remember? Sweating-brow, stuttering me? I was always nervous, thinking about Madie. And not only that-Remember Nicole? Junior High? Now that I look at it, I should have bought that colloquial Russian audiotape years back. Could have made 'Chongo' more, erm, credible." He laughed. I found myself joining him, a little more confident.
"So it's okay, Chuckie?" I asked.
"You kidding? Kidding-it's all right, Tommy, it's all right. It's just that you're dealing with Kimi, and you know how I am about that, what with a sister who broke up with nine men for the past seven years she was in San Fran. Now my best friend falls in love with-God forgive me for calling her this-my stepsister, and all..." He paused for a while, then managed to smile again. "But then, what could be better? At least I do know you." At that moment, Kimi appeared from nowhere and joined us.
"Glad to hear my brother trusting me," she said. "And after the fling with Z, I thought you were still paranoid."
"Stuff it punk!" was all that we could both say before Kimi chased us around the garden, crying bloody murder (albeit in jest, in both our cases).
"Hey!" Mrs. Finster yelled out from the door to the yard. "Am I missing something here?"
"Nothing, okasama," Kimi just replied as she held our back collars.
"Let them go for once, Kimi-chan," her mother then said. "Oh, and make up your mind as to what sort of nomenclature you will address me with, okay?"
"Sure thing, Mommy-sama," she replied as she let the two of us go.
"Guess one out of two ain't that bad," Mrs. Finster sighed in surrender as she went back inside, with the three of us following.
The first hurdles have been cleared, but there's more along the way. Guess as to what they are on Chapter Eleven: Sand Bar Ahead!
P.S. What do you want to happen? Send in suggestions to ceig13yahoo.com!