Author's note: I'll skip the usual disclaimers and remind you that this may be the most intense chapter I will come up with by far. (Appeal made due to lack of intensity on my part-I'm new to this.) Here goes...

Rugrats Midlife: Reunion

Chapter Eleven: Sand Bar Ahead

You will be so amazed at the way the ship sails smoothly, the skipper of the carrier Ronald Reagan told me, that you will fail to notice the sand bars scattered ahead-until it's too late. That is why he says ship captains make good wedding ministers-they don't get too emotional, they try to stay focused instead of living the moment. Somehow his first sentence got me thinking when my relationship with Kimi hit rock bottom.

Three months after we told the others we were a couple, a call from a certain Patricia Harland about installing a CCTV system in her property came to my attention. As Fred had run some errands in his house (he promised Lil he would take care of the kids that day), and we were the only ones in the business (it's just a three-month-old consultancy firm, for Pete's sake!), I decided to stop over and check this myself, a consequence of not foreseeing the need for a waiting room outside our offices. As I went down the stairs to the basement parking, I had a foreboding this may get ugly, something I shrugged off when I got to my parked Cresta.

Did I say ugly? The property was a beautiful Victorian house perched on a hill overlooking the town and river. The owner of the house, a gorgeous young woman in her early thirties, answered the door.

"Good afternoon ma'am, Tommy Pickles, security consultant at your service," I stated, looking at the woman I just met. "You must be Patricia Harland."

"Oh, yes, I am. Do come in, do come in." I wondered why she would need a CCTV system for an average-sized house.

"I looked around the property, it's kinda small for a CCTV system. Why would you need seven cameras for an area which could do with four?"

"Oh, so I could only do with four cameras?" she asked. She was obviously new on this type of arrangement, I thought to myself.

"Fortunately, yes. And there are cameras in the market which can be linked to just one TV screen, just like this one over here." I then took four small black orbs made by the family company (Not meant to promote Pickles Technologies, it's just that these were the ones I had at home), an adaptor, a remote control and some cables. In short order, I installed the cameras on four places, connected their plugs to the adaptor, which I then connected in turn to a television set.

"There are models like these in stores, not necessarily Pickles Tech, but if you're buying, choose the one with the best range of vision," I lectured as the cameras were being demonstrated. "Place them where you can see them but where others can't. And make sure they're on 24/7." After disassembling the kit, I turned round only to face a woman with a seductive grin on her face. Fortunately, she, well, "behaved" herself when I caught her eye.

"So how much would I pay?" she asked me.

"Forty thousand dollars," I replied, all the meanwhile shuddering. Sure, she's beautiful, but first, I'm taken already, and second, so is she (her husband is out of town, I inferred from the pictures in the hallway, assuming she wasn't divorced or a widow). That second inference was cast into doubt when she went up to me and sauntered, "Uhhm, Mr. Pickles..."

"You may call me Tommy, ma'am."

"Oh, okay. Umm, Tommy, if it's not bothering you, can you please, uhh, accompany me for tonight..."

Good Lord! I had to tell her something that would not break her heart yet not put down my love for Kimi. But how in heavens do you do that? "Y-you-you s-s-ee-see m-m-ma'am, uh, umm, er..." I think it was her eyes, with a mixture of seduction and plea for compassion in them, that kept me speechless. "I'm taken already."

"But just for tonight..."

I cut the woman off. "Please, no. I am flatterred by your offer, but I don't want to sabotage my three-month-old relationship with my girlfriend, and that is a risk I'm not willing to take." So saying, I rushed up, picked my money and belongings, and rushed out of the house, before second thoughts got me inside again. Fortunately, I wasn't too late, and I went home wiping lipstick from my mouth, fortunate that I persuaded her never to take this to the next level, and guilty that I was two-timing Kimi (she lost a relationship to this, just for the record). Tommy Pickles, I told myself, what did you get yourself into.

#####

The first signs of friction occured at a party at Susie's place for her son's third birthday. A text message from Trish, as I now called her, was sent to me, asking if I could go over to her place sometime for some coffee (maybe more). My absent-minded self, a consequence of my work and the two-week tinge of guilt for the love triangle, left my cellphone somewhere. I never gave it another thought until later, when I noticed my cellphone wasn't in my pocket.

"Hey Malcolm," I inquired, "seen my cellphone?"

"Afraid not, Tom," he replied as he was videotaping Jamal opening his birthday presents.

The reply was the same in Angelica's, Lil and Fred's, Jave's, Susie's, Madie's and Buster's (one of Jamal's uncles) cases. When I got to Chuckie, he was nonchalant.

"Well, Kimi found it. Must be a message there that got her angry." Angry? Sweet Lord of Hosts!

"Where is she?" I asked.

"Out front in the street." His eyes leered at me as he turned his back for a second serving of tenderloin tips.

Angry was an understatement if you looked at her eyes-it was sheer fury waiting to surge forth. I decided to do something, and fast, but first I decided to let her talk-the rest of herself was trying to be calm as she gave back my cellphone.

"Who's Trish?" she asked coldly. I managed to utter a few words.

"Uhmm, err, a client. Patricia Harland."

"A client. So what did she want you for?"

"Cameras for her house." Forestall the "What else would she want when she meant that there will be more than coffee?" part, Pickles, I told myself. "She kissed me on the lips. Six times these past two weeks. Hope you're not very angry..."

"Me? Angry? No I'm not angry. Maybe INFURIATED will be a better word, you goddamned bastard!" I saw that incident at the park months before. Welcome to doomsday, Thomas. And looks like it's hell you've been condemned to. Compared to this, the time she, with the other Rugrats, confronted me with the tapes I would later enter to a film competition showed her mild-mannered side.

"Look, Kim, I can explain, I CAN EXPLAIN IF YOU ALLOW ME TO!" The second time cut her off as I continued. "Look, I admit, I'm having an illicit affair here, endangering a budding three-month-old relationship and what not, but I'm in the same boat as you! I'm really confused with all of this, OK?"

Kimi wasn't sold. "Well, looks like you'll have to choose now, right, Thomas? Let me make this easier for you." She tossed the silver locket I gave her on our third date onto the macadamized pavement of the road. It contained a picture of both of us taken at the photo-taking booths seen in the malls. She then marched to her awaiting car, tears in her eyes, saying "See you when you make up your two-timing mind." The price you pay for honesty is very, very steep indeed.

I tried to follow her, stammering "But Kimi..." only to be met by a "Leave me alone you son of a bitch!" at every point. The fifth time I angrily yelled, "Fine! Be that way! You don't have the monopoly of anger here." I then stormed to my car, headed home.

The next morning, I tried to call up Harland, to tell her that it was over for the both of us. The only thing I could count on was the fact I had no sex with either lady, meaning I was slightly free of guilt-but only slightly.

What have you done, Tommy, I asked myself beforehand. You have sent a woman bleeding yet again, and because you felt you could control the situation. You thought that you could dally with this and get away with it, huh? At least you had the guts to admit it-what the heck will she do to you when she sees you actually with Trish.

"Oh, hello, Tommy, what's news?" came a familiar voice on the phone.

"Let's get this whole thing over with."

"You called me just to tell me that?"

"Just because Kimi blew her stack at me yesterday, maybe. I figured that, look, though you, aagh, you may have things and qualities she doesn't, I, I feel more for her than for you. I hope you understand." Silence was heard on the other end. "Do I take that as an agreement?"

"Maybe so," Trish replied. "That's why Stan left me. I get flirtatious with others, and...sorry I got you and your-"

"SORRY? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY? I'M SORRY TOO, FOR HAVING BEEN THE UMPTEENTH GUY TO FALL OUT FROM A LOVE TRIANGLE YOU KEEP MAKING!" I yelled before I slammed the phone down. And then I sobbed.

I was the skipper of that sailboat of love I rode with Kimi. And on my shift, until it was too late, I failed to notice the sand bar ahead.

Uh-oh. Watch what happens on Chapter Twelve: Along The Way, coming out soon!