Author's note: As I've been doing for the past two chapters, I'll skip the usual disclaimers and other notes. After this week's heartening reviews, and due to the fact that summer vacation's almost over in my part of the world, I have decided to release the remaining chapters (this one included) sooner than June 15. (Worry not about quality-I've already made up my mind about the conclusions.)
Rugrats Midlife: Reunion
Chapter Twelve: Along The Way
The following week that passed was the most miserable in my entire life-no, there was also the weeks prior to my botched resignation in the Marine Corps. The old cycle of interest, high point, disillusionment and break-off, which doomed my filmmaking and active service careers, was apparently going to doom my fledgling consultancy service as well. The only twist this time is that I lost someone who I loved the most. That person, as you've known, was Kimi Watanabe-Finster.
It was my fault. That rapport I had with Trish Harland, whom I discovered took an interest in me three weeks ago, and who I discovered had broken up with her husband for an affair which was of her doing, doomed the growing love between Kimi and me. Worse was to come, though. The evening I broke up with Trish, I went to a bar to drown out my sorrows-something I would usually not do, but then, I wasn't feeling myself anymore. I should have noticed that there was a green Camaro parked upfront, because no sooner had I gulped down two shots of whiskey than Chuckie and I crossed paths.
"YOU GODDAMN BASTARD I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" he screeched as he lunged and tackled me to the floor. "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THE &$#ING HELL YOU DID TO MY SISTER?!"
"W-wait, you don't understand..." I tried to reason, but try doing that to a broken-hearted girl's infuriated brother with murder on his mind.
"WHAT IN #$&ING BLAZES I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHY YOU DID THIS TO US! We helped you with your consultancy practice, Mom considered you and Dil as sons, and if that wasn't enough, we entrusted you with Kimi. AND THIS IS WHAT WE-oomph!" I took the time to push him off me and punch him in the chest.
"Fine, so it its my damn fault," I said, standing up. "So what do you want me to do-go back to your damned stepsister-" I was angry at her too, but that's beside the point. The mere mention of the word stepsister angered Chuckie even more. So much for his being a family man.
"NO ONE CALLS KIMI MY STEPSISTER, NOR ANY MEMBER OF MY OTHER FAMILY!" were all the words he needed before he lunged at me and the whole thing went worse. In short order, a quarrel erupted, and Charles' anger and my lack of sobriety-I wasn't fully drunk yet, but the alcohol had now clouded part of my judgment-had us trying to strangle one another.
Fortunately, Phil, who was just passing by on his way to a mass, saw the fiasco and stepped in. When he couldn't drive us apart by simple pushing he elbowed us right in our abdomens.
"Please for the love of God STOP THIS!" he shouted to both of us, then had two other patrons wrest us apart. "You there, Chuck, the fight's between Tommy and Kimi, not you and Tommy. And as for you, jarhead, stop making a jackass of yourself by drowning your sorrows, OK?" Chuck had calmed down and left, obviously still angry as the bar's door slammed hard. Meanwhile I was slumped on the floor, crying yet again, this time for breaking up a good friendship.
Chuckie was my first friend. I got involved with his half-hearted pranks directed at Vice-Principal Pangborn in 5th grade. I was the one who kept his secrets for him all his life. I was his best man at the wedding. Now I had just succeeded in destroying thirty-five years of friendship. Shame on me. Phil just helped me up and let me cry at his shoulder, another of my first friends helping, but that just wasn't enough. A week later and it still felt the same way.
The Finsters aren't talking to me, still bitter about what I've done. So have the Joneses. Only Fred has been with me, and even then he's just there to work-Lilian's avoiding me as well, angry at me for betraying her best friend. The old folks are mostly giving me the silent treatment, and Dil? He's in San Diego with Dad to supervise the construction of a new attraction there. The only difference between Dad and Dil was that the latter was more slick, unorthodox and successful, thanks to Phil and Lil DeVille, who both dropped him on his head as a baby. And don't get me started on Angelica.
I was regularly telling Fred to cover for me. When I did come for work I would usually bury myself in it, but as in the Corps it felt empty. It looked like I would have to give this consultancy up too, and return to active service. Not a bad idea: you have nothing to lose in going back, Pickles. Maybe your miserable life.
It was in that week that I decided to go to Mass. Heck, I'm Methodist, as are Dad, my uncle, aunt, and cousin, while Mom and Dil are Jewish in orientation. But I just went to the St. Francis Xavier Parish Church downtown (close to where Phil lives and teaches) to see him and try to talk to him. He had remained incommunicado for the past week. Until then.
Couldn't believe my good luck-he was there, distributing communion in the nave. God Will Make A Way by Don Moen was sung by the choir in the loft to the left of the altar.The pews were not very crowded, but only due to the fact that their occupants were on the aisles. That meant I'll just have to stand up. The Mass was almost over anyway.
Soon, the final blessings were said, the Mass was over and I learned he was hearing some confessions that day. Soon, he entered a confessional box and some six people lined up. I joined the last, wondering why there were only a few to my front and no one to my back.
Soon, it was my turn. I entered the box and kneeled, but before I said a word he uttered, "Bless you, my son, for you have sinned."
"How did you know I was here?" I inquired. The place was packed with people, for the love of God!
Phil just grinned from where I saw him in the screen and pointed out a thing or two. "Uno, I can notice churchgoing passivists (a term for non-active church participants he uses), moreso a Methodist going into a Catholic church service. Second, I saw seven folks in line. I have reservations saying I'm supposed to have only six." From what I can see on the rattan screen he loosened his white collar and removed his stole, and then he turned to me. "This ain't the place for us-let's go to the cloister. It can get stuffy in here." So saying, we immediately left the confessional and went to the south door of the church, opening to a courtyard garden.
For the first two minutes, we did nothing but to stare blankly as we walked, me at the tiles of the pathwalk, Phil at the sky. The silence between us was broken by Phil.
"So how's life, T?" he asked.
"Miserable. It's just a miracle I can wake up everyday. I always wished that He could just snuff out my life there and then. At least Kimi won't have one more person to worry about."
"So you still love her, Tommy?"
"I guess so."
"Think she still loves you?"
"What little love she has for me crashed with that silver locket, Phil."
"Or did it?" Same idea here. "I kinda noticed you've stayed away from Kimi and her family ever since the Harland incident. You sure you're sorry for what you've done?"
"Of course I am." Who wouldn't?
"Have you forgiven yourself for this?"
"I am trying." And failing miserably. Until now.
"Have you considered asking Kimi for forgiveness?" I knew he was going to say this.
"I...I...I can't seem to bring myself to go to her and tell that. I-I-I'm..."
"Scared you'll be rejected? Scared that it's too late?" Phil looked at me in a way I had never seen him before. Until then he only was the King of Disgusting who became a member of the Society of Jesus by luck. Now I saw that skill also had a role. "I suggest you muster what is left of your courage and honor to tell her you're sorry. Try to make her understand that you can't bear to see her angry. Tell her you want all this insanity to be over with. Most of all, tell her that if both of you have to say goodbye, you say goodbye as people who aren't angry anymore. That's the least you'll have to do." He went silent.
"So you're suggesting I go there and try to say sorry, and that's it?" I asked. "How the hell will that help?"
"Sooner or later the resentment must end. Let the rest take care of itself. Whether she comes back to you or you go your separate ways is not yours to decide-it's Kimi's. As for you, a repentant lover's gotta do what a repentant lover's gotta do." Those words finally rallied whatever remained of my faltering hopes. I hugged Philip like a long lost son, a la Chuckie when I met him again after 6 years, thanking Phil for helping me.
"Nah, it's in my resumé," he replied, patting my back before we released each other. "Oh, and before you go, let me remind you, sincerity is everything. The rest is up to you. Gotta go now!" He threw a quick salute at me.
"Sure thing, Padre," I replied as I saluted back at him, knowing he got me along the way back to Kimi.
The stage is set. Now come the actors. How will Kimi respond to Tommy's asking forgiveness from her? Find out on Chapter Thirteen: Back at the Riverfront, coming soon!
P.S. Thanks for the encouraging reviews! Pls. send more of these constructive reviews to me, and suggestions to .