"Well, Rhiannon, what are you going to do with yourself?" Teddy asked the
question without regard for the answer, not even waiting for it before he
worked a plug of tobacco into his pipe and began puffing away at it.
Beside him, Jonathan was petting the dog – the last dog that they had – that sat upon his lap, wagging its tail with ignorant bliss. "Will you go to see your sister," he asked, also uninterested in whether she answered or not. Forgetting that Rhiannon's sister was his sister as well.
Rhiannon started at her plate, one in a set of a service for eight that she had laid on this table every day for the past sixteen years. She couldn't help but feel as if her life were drawing on into its winter years. Cold as the ground outside that was buried under thousands and thousands of oak leaves that had fallen from the dying trees over the past few months.
Outside, through the window, the boys could see the last team of draught horses being driven away down the lane, their massive hooves making heavy and disorganized clumps on the soft earthen road, their harnesses jingling jovially. 'At least they don't have to know the weight of the situation,' she thought to herself. 'If only I could be so ignorantly blissful.'
Jonathan reached over into the skillet over the fire and pulled out a piece of bacon fat, all that was left of his final breakfast in this home. He fed it to the dog, letting it slide from between his fingers into Penny's yellowed teeth. She wagged her tail again. There seemed no reason for Jonathan to be worried. He would be leaving this afternoon to his new home in Yorkshire, where he would slip on the harness and become a proper working man for his new fiancée's father. A proper broker with all the benefits that go along with being the boss' main boy.
As for Teddy, Rhiannon didn't know, nor did she care, what would happen to him. He had always been a bit of a rogue, coming and going as he pleased and expecting her to welcome him with open arms and doting service upon his every return. He had moved into the den and she could hear him rustling around, packing things that probably never belonged to him, that probably belonged to their father. It wasn't long before he had returned to the kitchen with two canvas bags full. She scoffed inwardly that he had only shown up with one.
"Farewell, sister," he called to her as he slung his overcoat over his shoulders and his cap upon his head. "May I find thee well when next we meet." Rhiannon didn't respond. Teddy didn't seem to care. Not waiting for an answer, a hug, or any recognition of the fact that he was about to saunter out of her life and her home once more, he pushed open the bottom half of the Dutch door and rambled aimlessly down the lane, never looking back and not shutting the door behind him.
"Oy, look who it is coming up the lane." Jonathan watched Rhiannon for a reaction and, receiving none, reached over and pushed her chin up with his forefinger. She allowed her eyes to cast themselves upon the lane and there, just now passing Teddy with a halfhearted nod of the head, was Severus Snape.
"Oy, Sev," Jonathan called, standing up in a rush and effectively dumping Penny to the floor with a disgruntled squeal. He ran out the already open door to catch up with the bloke, clapping him round the shoulders and shaking him in what was meant to be a friendly way.
Rhiannon stood and cleared the dishes from the table, piling everything up together and rushing slightly to deposit them in the basin in the kitchen, one place she was sure that Severus wouldn't be going, not being on quite so friendly of terms with the family to just stroll into their kitchens. Once everything was safely deposited she moistened a rag and wrung it out, then carried it in to the dining room to bus the table. When most women would have been fussing over their hair or straightening their blouse, Rhiannon was more concerned with his impression of her home than of her.
She could hear their chattering escalating in volume, signifying their closeness to the house, before they were completely upon her, standing just there in the doorway. She chanced a quick glance in their direction. Severus wasn't looking, nor was Jon, so she allowed her gaze to rest a while upon them. She had known Severus all her life. He was five years older than her in age, but emotionally he seemed twenty times her superior. In some ways, that is. He had devoted himself to an academic life. She had devoted herself to domesticity.
Neither of them were much different than they had been as children, besides the fact that Rhiannon had settled quite a bit. As a child she had loved to tease and pick on him for always having his nose stuck in some book. That had all changed around the age of ten when she realized how much, and in what way, she really did care for him.
He had grown quite a bit since last she had seen him. Two summers ago, it had been, when he had come to them for a horse for his niece. Rhiannon herself had a mare that had given birth to a filly the year before, and she had trained the animal herself before selling it to the Snapes. Severus had seemed pleased. But their relationship, since he had gone away to teach at the school, had become all but nonexistent. Interaction had been saved solely for business transactions, of which there were few.
"Afternoon, Rhiannon," he said, noticing her watching him and tipping his cap slightly.
"Good afternoon, Severus," she answered quietly, dropping her gaze back to the table and scrubbing it more furiously than was necessary.
Jonathan, never one to miss a trick, looked between the two of them with a wry and knowing smile. "Severus is back for a semester off," he told her, walking in behind her and fanning the fire. "I told him you wouldn't mind making him a nice welcome home breakfast. It's his first day back, you realize." Rhiannon just looked at Jon with furrowed eyebrows but nodded, finishing up the table and folding the rag into the pocket of her apron.
"It's really not necessary," Severus said, stepping over the threshold and raising a palm, a gesture for her to stop her work. "I've eaten a spot on the train home."
"Nonsense," Jon answered loudly, putting a hand on each of Rhiannon's shoulders and pulling her close to him. "Rhiannon loves to entertain guests. And besides, we've got to be using up what we've got left. Only have until Wednesday, you know."
"Yes, that's what I hear," Severus answered, pulling a chair out from the table and taking a seat, crossing his legs and laying his cap upon his knee. "It really is too bad. That horse you sold us two summers ago has been such a joy for Trinity. She's actually been begging for another, you know. I had aims to ask you if you would be coming across any new fillies before winter. But when I got home mum and da' told me the sad news." Up until this point his attention had been focused on Jon, but now he switched his gaze suddenly to Rhiannon. "I'm so sorry to hear. I know you loved this place with a passion."
"I did," she answered, uncomfortable with revealing her emotions to someone that she now considered a bit of a stranger, and feeling hardly able to contain her tears. "Do you take coffee or tea," she asked, wiping her damp hands on her apron as she turned to flee to the kitchen.
"Tea, please, if you will insist on making something," was all she heard as she nearly ran up the hall away from the men. It was a full half hour before she returned with the tea, but with it she also brought a full tray of breakfast for one containing left over, but fully restored bangers, eggs, back bacon, mushrooms, black pudding, fried potatoes, grilled tomatoes, toast and marmalade. She set the tray down across from him and laid everything out before him as if this were a five star bed and breakfast and he were a prized patron.
Severus was shocked. It never ceased to amaze him the way muggles could put on just as good, if not a better meal than any witch or wizard he had ever met. Take Rhiannon, for example. His own mother, one of the greatest witches in northern England, had told him to grill his own toast and spread some butter on it if he were hungry. And yet, though this was a leftover meal, this muggle had done a bang up job putting it together in a half hour. For his part, he was speechless. He watched silently as she laid everything upon the table and pulled from the pocket of her apron a freshly starched white linen napkin and silver and laid them before him in their proper place.
"Really, Rhiannon, this isn't necessary."
"Nonsense. It must get used up if we don't want it to go to waste."
Severus picked up his napkin and placed it on his lap as Rhiannon poured his tea from her best silver service. "Won't you at least eat with me," he asked.
"I've eaten already, thank you. Do you take cream or sugar?"
"No, thank you. Look, at least sit with me. I shall feel uncomfortable if you leave me alone here in your dining room."
"Where's Jon gone," Rhiannon asked, straightening up and bracing her back with her hands, but still not comfortable enough to trust herself to sit with him through his meal and make interesting conversation.
"He said he had some business in town to take care of before he leaves for Yorkshire this afternoon."
"I see. Just like him to leave me here alone with you." She cursed herself as soon as it came out of her mouth.
Severus looked up from his tea, surprised at her frankness. "Am I so impossible to get along with?"
"No. No, it's not that. Don't mind me," she told him, slipping into a new level of comfort, feeling herself warm up to him slightly. "It's just . . . It's just that –"
"You're missing the place already," Severus answered, picking up his silver and tucking in.
"Most certainly," she answered, tracing the pattern of the wood on the table with one dainty forefinger. "I just can't believe that I am being removed from my home."
"Why has it happened this way," Severus asked, delving into a new level of conversation. "This was always such a profitable business. People came from miles around for your horses. What happened?"
"Sybil," was Rhiannon's sincere and dejected reply. "She's spent everything, Severus. Every last penny." At the mention of her name the dog looked up from the floor, wagging her tale with vigor and hoping for a handout. "Not you," Rhiannon told her, and she returned to her nap on the hearth.
"She always seemed like such a good woman," Severus told her, murdering his banger and moving along to the mushrooms.
"Of course she did. Everyone thought she was. Except for those who lived with her."
"Your father didn't love her?"
"He loved her. But I don't think he realized what he had gotten himself into until it was too late." Silence came between them and Severus focused on his breakfast, not knowing just what to say.
"She used to nag him horribly. Every day she had a new request. He was able to restrain her, a bit, in her spending, but when he died –"her voice cracked here and she returned her gaze to the table.
"Rhiannon I never took the time to tell you how truly sorry I was to hear the news."
"It's fine –"
"No. No, it isn't. You and I have been friends for all our lives and I should have taken a week to be here for you."
"Severus, I never expected –"
"I know you didn't. I know. That's what makes it so awful. You should have expected it from me. You ought to have been heartbroken and confused when I didn't turn up, even for the funeral."
"I don't need others that way. I do fine on my own."
"But you shouldn't have to. I know, and I knew then, that you had no one else. I thought that Sybil would have been a source of comfort for you. I didn't know her truly. But I did know that you would be playing mother to the whole family. Taking care of your brothers and Sybil as well. Hosting gatherings. Receiving mourners. How did you do it, all on your own? How do you?"
"Some people are just naturally inclined toward a life of solitude."
"Yes, I suppose you're right." Severus went back to picking at his potatoes. "But that doesn't make it all right."
"No, I suppose it doesn't. It just is what it is. It's life."
"Thank you for breakfast."
For the first time Rhiannon's face lit up with a smile that could have stopped the earth. "You're welcome, Severus." And then, as an afterthought, as she stared at the flames in the fire she added, "It's my pleasure."
Beside him, Jonathan was petting the dog – the last dog that they had – that sat upon his lap, wagging its tail with ignorant bliss. "Will you go to see your sister," he asked, also uninterested in whether she answered or not. Forgetting that Rhiannon's sister was his sister as well.
Rhiannon started at her plate, one in a set of a service for eight that she had laid on this table every day for the past sixteen years. She couldn't help but feel as if her life were drawing on into its winter years. Cold as the ground outside that was buried under thousands and thousands of oak leaves that had fallen from the dying trees over the past few months.
Outside, through the window, the boys could see the last team of draught horses being driven away down the lane, their massive hooves making heavy and disorganized clumps on the soft earthen road, their harnesses jingling jovially. 'At least they don't have to know the weight of the situation,' she thought to herself. 'If only I could be so ignorantly blissful.'
Jonathan reached over into the skillet over the fire and pulled out a piece of bacon fat, all that was left of his final breakfast in this home. He fed it to the dog, letting it slide from between his fingers into Penny's yellowed teeth. She wagged her tail again. There seemed no reason for Jonathan to be worried. He would be leaving this afternoon to his new home in Yorkshire, where he would slip on the harness and become a proper working man for his new fiancée's father. A proper broker with all the benefits that go along with being the boss' main boy.
As for Teddy, Rhiannon didn't know, nor did she care, what would happen to him. He had always been a bit of a rogue, coming and going as he pleased and expecting her to welcome him with open arms and doting service upon his every return. He had moved into the den and she could hear him rustling around, packing things that probably never belonged to him, that probably belonged to their father. It wasn't long before he had returned to the kitchen with two canvas bags full. She scoffed inwardly that he had only shown up with one.
"Farewell, sister," he called to her as he slung his overcoat over his shoulders and his cap upon his head. "May I find thee well when next we meet." Rhiannon didn't respond. Teddy didn't seem to care. Not waiting for an answer, a hug, or any recognition of the fact that he was about to saunter out of her life and her home once more, he pushed open the bottom half of the Dutch door and rambled aimlessly down the lane, never looking back and not shutting the door behind him.
"Oy, look who it is coming up the lane." Jonathan watched Rhiannon for a reaction and, receiving none, reached over and pushed her chin up with his forefinger. She allowed her eyes to cast themselves upon the lane and there, just now passing Teddy with a halfhearted nod of the head, was Severus Snape.
"Oy, Sev," Jonathan called, standing up in a rush and effectively dumping Penny to the floor with a disgruntled squeal. He ran out the already open door to catch up with the bloke, clapping him round the shoulders and shaking him in what was meant to be a friendly way.
Rhiannon stood and cleared the dishes from the table, piling everything up together and rushing slightly to deposit them in the basin in the kitchen, one place she was sure that Severus wouldn't be going, not being on quite so friendly of terms with the family to just stroll into their kitchens. Once everything was safely deposited she moistened a rag and wrung it out, then carried it in to the dining room to bus the table. When most women would have been fussing over their hair or straightening their blouse, Rhiannon was more concerned with his impression of her home than of her.
She could hear their chattering escalating in volume, signifying their closeness to the house, before they were completely upon her, standing just there in the doorway. She chanced a quick glance in their direction. Severus wasn't looking, nor was Jon, so she allowed her gaze to rest a while upon them. She had known Severus all her life. He was five years older than her in age, but emotionally he seemed twenty times her superior. In some ways, that is. He had devoted himself to an academic life. She had devoted herself to domesticity.
Neither of them were much different than they had been as children, besides the fact that Rhiannon had settled quite a bit. As a child she had loved to tease and pick on him for always having his nose stuck in some book. That had all changed around the age of ten when she realized how much, and in what way, she really did care for him.
He had grown quite a bit since last she had seen him. Two summers ago, it had been, when he had come to them for a horse for his niece. Rhiannon herself had a mare that had given birth to a filly the year before, and she had trained the animal herself before selling it to the Snapes. Severus had seemed pleased. But their relationship, since he had gone away to teach at the school, had become all but nonexistent. Interaction had been saved solely for business transactions, of which there were few.
"Afternoon, Rhiannon," he said, noticing her watching him and tipping his cap slightly.
"Good afternoon, Severus," she answered quietly, dropping her gaze back to the table and scrubbing it more furiously than was necessary.
Jonathan, never one to miss a trick, looked between the two of them with a wry and knowing smile. "Severus is back for a semester off," he told her, walking in behind her and fanning the fire. "I told him you wouldn't mind making him a nice welcome home breakfast. It's his first day back, you realize." Rhiannon just looked at Jon with furrowed eyebrows but nodded, finishing up the table and folding the rag into the pocket of her apron.
"It's really not necessary," Severus said, stepping over the threshold and raising a palm, a gesture for her to stop her work. "I've eaten a spot on the train home."
"Nonsense," Jon answered loudly, putting a hand on each of Rhiannon's shoulders and pulling her close to him. "Rhiannon loves to entertain guests. And besides, we've got to be using up what we've got left. Only have until Wednesday, you know."
"Yes, that's what I hear," Severus answered, pulling a chair out from the table and taking a seat, crossing his legs and laying his cap upon his knee. "It really is too bad. That horse you sold us two summers ago has been such a joy for Trinity. She's actually been begging for another, you know. I had aims to ask you if you would be coming across any new fillies before winter. But when I got home mum and da' told me the sad news." Up until this point his attention had been focused on Jon, but now he switched his gaze suddenly to Rhiannon. "I'm so sorry to hear. I know you loved this place with a passion."
"I did," she answered, uncomfortable with revealing her emotions to someone that she now considered a bit of a stranger, and feeling hardly able to contain her tears. "Do you take coffee or tea," she asked, wiping her damp hands on her apron as she turned to flee to the kitchen.
"Tea, please, if you will insist on making something," was all she heard as she nearly ran up the hall away from the men. It was a full half hour before she returned with the tea, but with it she also brought a full tray of breakfast for one containing left over, but fully restored bangers, eggs, back bacon, mushrooms, black pudding, fried potatoes, grilled tomatoes, toast and marmalade. She set the tray down across from him and laid everything out before him as if this were a five star bed and breakfast and he were a prized patron.
Severus was shocked. It never ceased to amaze him the way muggles could put on just as good, if not a better meal than any witch or wizard he had ever met. Take Rhiannon, for example. His own mother, one of the greatest witches in northern England, had told him to grill his own toast and spread some butter on it if he were hungry. And yet, though this was a leftover meal, this muggle had done a bang up job putting it together in a half hour. For his part, he was speechless. He watched silently as she laid everything upon the table and pulled from the pocket of her apron a freshly starched white linen napkin and silver and laid them before him in their proper place.
"Really, Rhiannon, this isn't necessary."
"Nonsense. It must get used up if we don't want it to go to waste."
Severus picked up his napkin and placed it on his lap as Rhiannon poured his tea from her best silver service. "Won't you at least eat with me," he asked.
"I've eaten already, thank you. Do you take cream or sugar?"
"No, thank you. Look, at least sit with me. I shall feel uncomfortable if you leave me alone here in your dining room."
"Where's Jon gone," Rhiannon asked, straightening up and bracing her back with her hands, but still not comfortable enough to trust herself to sit with him through his meal and make interesting conversation.
"He said he had some business in town to take care of before he leaves for Yorkshire this afternoon."
"I see. Just like him to leave me here alone with you." She cursed herself as soon as it came out of her mouth.
Severus looked up from his tea, surprised at her frankness. "Am I so impossible to get along with?"
"No. No, it's not that. Don't mind me," she told him, slipping into a new level of comfort, feeling herself warm up to him slightly. "It's just . . . It's just that –"
"You're missing the place already," Severus answered, picking up his silver and tucking in.
"Most certainly," she answered, tracing the pattern of the wood on the table with one dainty forefinger. "I just can't believe that I am being removed from my home."
"Why has it happened this way," Severus asked, delving into a new level of conversation. "This was always such a profitable business. People came from miles around for your horses. What happened?"
"Sybil," was Rhiannon's sincere and dejected reply. "She's spent everything, Severus. Every last penny." At the mention of her name the dog looked up from the floor, wagging her tale with vigor and hoping for a handout. "Not you," Rhiannon told her, and she returned to her nap on the hearth.
"She always seemed like such a good woman," Severus told her, murdering his banger and moving along to the mushrooms.
"Of course she did. Everyone thought she was. Except for those who lived with her."
"Your father didn't love her?"
"He loved her. But I don't think he realized what he had gotten himself into until it was too late." Silence came between them and Severus focused on his breakfast, not knowing just what to say.
"She used to nag him horribly. Every day she had a new request. He was able to restrain her, a bit, in her spending, but when he died –"her voice cracked here and she returned her gaze to the table.
"Rhiannon I never took the time to tell you how truly sorry I was to hear the news."
"It's fine –"
"No. No, it isn't. You and I have been friends for all our lives and I should have taken a week to be here for you."
"Severus, I never expected –"
"I know you didn't. I know. That's what makes it so awful. You should have expected it from me. You ought to have been heartbroken and confused when I didn't turn up, even for the funeral."
"I don't need others that way. I do fine on my own."
"But you shouldn't have to. I know, and I knew then, that you had no one else. I thought that Sybil would have been a source of comfort for you. I didn't know her truly. But I did know that you would be playing mother to the whole family. Taking care of your brothers and Sybil as well. Hosting gatherings. Receiving mourners. How did you do it, all on your own? How do you?"
"Some people are just naturally inclined toward a life of solitude."
"Yes, I suppose you're right." Severus went back to picking at his potatoes. "But that doesn't make it all right."
"No, I suppose it doesn't. It just is what it is. It's life."
"Thank you for breakfast."
For the first time Rhiannon's face lit up with a smile that could have stopped the earth. "You're welcome, Severus." And then, as an afterthought, as she stared at the flames in the fire she added, "It's my pleasure."