I actually had this part done about a month ago. You would not believe how much self-restraint it took to not post it immediately. Good thing I didn't, though. Even if only one person actually got around to editing it, her edits were invaluable and I'm glad I could add them. In other words, I'm hoping the "slight" delay in getting this up was worth it. So let's find out. The story is below. Enjoy!
See first chapter for disclaimer.
x.x.x.
Part Two: Meetings
Spring had come quickly this year and the weather had, for the most part, been pleasant. Now the weather was shifting. Summer's heat was becoming more apparent. However, the soft breeze twisting through the leaves was enough to neutralize any uncomfortable warmth. This wasn't the only reason to appreciate the breeze, though. The wind also served to conceal the presence of a small figure partially obscured by the braches of the tree she sat in.
By human standards, she appeared to be eleven, but her pointed ears were evidence to the contrary. Unconsciously, the elf pushed a blonde curl that had slipped from her haphazard ponytail behind her ear as her light brown eyes scanned the forest floor for any movement.
The girl remained completely focused on her search for a few minutes before giving up. No one was there. The rumours were wrong. Her eyes slowly drifted closed as she leaned back against the trunk of the tree. She could clearly remember one of the younger elves bursting through the doors to the dining hall and excitedly relating the news he had just heard. Northerners were arriving any minute, according to the boy. Of course he had been wrong. Eager-to-please Nolan always was. Still, she had come out to the forest and climbed a tree to get the perfect view of their likely path. If there was any humour to be found in the situation, it was in those actions.
Oh well, she thought sullenly. I might as well return to the dining hall. Supper will be served soon. The Southerner slowly straightened. She had just begun to work her way down the tree when the faint sound of a voice stopped her. Shifting back to her former position, she patiently gazed through the foliage until a figure appeared. She didn't recognize the newcomer, though his unruly appearance seemed vaguely familiar. At first she dismissed him as a new Southern arrival, but a closer examination changed her mind. In the warm evening sunlight, the blonde could just make out a faint dusting of sparkles across his cheeks. Southerners never developed sparkles. That trait was limited to Northerners.
So Nolan was right after all, she mused as more Northerners followed behind the first. She watched each pass with only mild curiosity. She had seen Northerners before and, though smaller, this group was very similar to the one she had seen so long ago. Most of the children were younger, though some looked roughly the same age as her. It took the Southerner a moment to remember that this meant they were actually older than her. The difference in aging was not something to be forgotten.
Finally, the last of the elves disappeared from sight. The Southerner had counted nine, a significantly smaller number than the other group she had met. Then again, there was a significantly smaller group of Southerners here as well. The blonde elf began to lean back against the trunk again. She would wait until she was sure the Northerners were at the cabins before she ventured down. Her back had just touched the rough bark when a sudden shout caused her to jolt upright. Only the natural reflex of grabbing the branches around her saved her from falling.
Having regained her balance, the Southerner looked down once again. Only a few seconds passed before a girl came jogging into view. She paused for a moment, trying to catch her breath and giving the elf hidden above a chance to get a closer look. The girl looked almost two years younger than the blonde, though it was quickly translated into them being roughly the same age. Her red hair was held up in a neat ponytail, which greatly contrasted the mischievous glint shining from her green eyes. It was obvious this girl enjoyed causing a bit of trouble now and then.
Breathing more evenly, the Northern girl straightened and glanced behind her. Automatically, the blonde followed her gaze. Who she saw caused her to start in surprise for the second time in as many minutes. Standing just behind the girl was a Northern boy of the same age. He stood slightly shorter than his friend and had only a few scattered sparkles beginning to appear on his cheeks. A smile appeared on his face as the girl asked him if he was ready to leave. Absently, he pushed dark brown dreadlocks away from chocolate coloured eyes only to have his hair fall forward again as soon as he lowered his hand. He gave his consent to continuing and the two elves quickly jogged out of view.
Shocked, the Southerner leaned back in her tree. She had never expected to see that boy again. In fact, she had been completely certain their paths would never cross. Yet, she had never managed to forget the Northern boy she had helped after he had been beaten by some of the other Southerners. It would have been difficult to forget that time. Besides that being her first, and until today only, time ever seeing a Northerner, everything seemed to go wrong shortly after.
Sighing, the blonde elf banished the memories the Northern boy had brought to the surface. The sunlight was fading quickly and she was certain the newcomers had reached their cabins by now. There was no reason for her to remain in this tree any longer. With an ease that could only come from practice she climbed from her perch, jumping the last few feet to the ground.
For the first part of her journey, the girl followed the same path the Northerners had taken. Eventually, she veered off that trail, cutting through the undergrowth. She made no effort to hide her passage through the woods, focusing instead on avoiding the many braches that could become snagged on her clothing. It only took a few minutes before she burst from the forest onto a well-worn path. Sighing, she ran her hand over her loose curls while glancing in both directions. Seeing no one else in the area and content her hair was free of twigs and leaves, the elf turned to her right and proceeded down the path.
She had barely gone three metres when the sound of voices reached her ears. There wasn't even time to halt her progress before a boy called out from behind her. "Kendra! Wait up!"
The blonde barely managed to suppress a groan. Of all the elves, she silently lamented, why did it have to be Nolan?
Reluctantly, Kendra turned to face the younger elf who was hurrying towards her position. With him were six other elves. Terrence, one of the youngest elves here, was rapidly following in Nolan's wake, brown curls bouncing over his hazel eyes. Behind him, his older brother, Jeremy, followed at a more casual pace. Patricia, a mousy elf only slightly younger than Kendra, had been deep in conversation with Lenore, an older elf with a reputation for being outspoken and brash. Both girls looked up at Nolan's shout, as did the remaining two elves, Kern and Bryant, the eldest of the elves in the group.
The blonde returned her attention to the boy in front of her. "Where were you?" he asked when he arrived at her side. "I thought that you'd especially want to see Northerners. Weren't you listening when I told everyone about them coming?"
Kendra's eyebrows rose slightly at the pride in Nolan's voice. "Yes, I heard," she said softly.
"Then where were you? Everyone went down to the cabins to see the Northerners' arrival, but I didn't see you there. Didn't you want to see the Northerners?"
There didn't seem to be an acceptable answer to Nolan's question. She couldn't deny her curiosity. Everyone would know she was lying. At the same time, she couldn't bring herself to admit that she had purposely avoided the cabins and opted for sitting in a tree in the middle of the forest because she didn't want to interact with the other Southerners. Luckily, she was saved from answering by Kern's timely arrival into the conversation.
"It doesn't really matter," the dark-haired elf stated, continuing down the path. "I'm sure we'll see plenty of the Northerners in the coming days."
"I guess he's right," Nolan said after a moment's thought. Flashing a brief smile at Kendra, he hurried after the others, Terrence and Jeremy following.
Kendra hesitated for a moment before trailing after them. They were heading towards the dining hall, probably to get supper. There was no point in detouring when she was going in the same direction. No one seemed to notice her presence, which suited her fine.
"How long are the Northerners staying?" asked Patricia timidly, breaking the silence that had descended on the group.
No one answered her question. Finally, Bryant turned to Nolan. "Well, Nolan?"
"What?" All eyes had turned to the boy.
"You seem to have all the information about these Northerners. Don't you know how long they're going to be gracing us with their presence?"
"Of course not! I don't even think they know that."
Bryant ignored Nolan's defensive words, feigning shock as he continued. "You don't know? But I thought you knew all about this and now you're proven as ignorant as the rest of us! How tragic."
A few smirks appeared as Nolan opened and closed his mouth, flustered by Bryant's words. Kendra felt no sympathy for the boy. His new success at providing information had given him an ego and someone needed to bring him back down to earth. She was just glad Bryant had taken care of it before the boy's preening had forced her to.
"Well, I don't know how long these Northerners are staying," Nolan finally managed to say, "but Alexander told me that the last time Northerners stayed with Southerners, they stayed for over a month."
"Over a month?" repeated Terrence, shocked by this length of time. It didn't occur to him that most of his companions had been living here for at least six months and a one-month stay was nothing special.
His brother, on the other hand, latched onto a much more interesting piece of information. "Alexander's seen Northerner's before?"
Nolan nodded, though Kendra couldn't be sure whose question he was answering.
It was Patricia who answered Jeremy directly. "He was at one of the places the Northerners stayed when they last left the North Pole. That's why he seemed so nonchalant. He's already seen all of this."
"Just because someone acts like they don't care doesn't mean they've seen Northerners before," Lenore commented. "Isn't that right Kern?"
Kern shrugged. "They may have been raised in a different culture, but they're still elves in an unfamiliar situation. They're nervous, shy and distinctly out of place. There's nothing special or unusual about that. I don't understand your fascination with them."
Lenore rolled her eyes.
"What about you Kendra?"
Kendra looked up, eyes wide and startled. "What about me?"
"What's your opinion about Northerners?"
Light-brown eyes scanned the seven elves. Realizing there was no way to avoid answering the question, Kendra lowered her gaze. "They're nice enough people," she answered softly.
"Didn't you once say that you'd stayed with Northerners before?"
Inwardly, Kendra winced at Patricia's question. She had hoped the younger elf would have forgotten about that. It had been a mistake to mention it and she had regretted it instantly.
"Is this like Alexander staying with Northerners?" asked Jeremy.
Kendra nodded.
"I didn't think you two had ever stayed together before."
"We haven't. There weren't that many where I was staying, so they must've sent some children to other places."
Jeremy nodded. "Makes sense. Do you think they did that this time too?"
"I don't think it's beyond reasoning."
"Do you recognize any of them?" asked Terrence excitedly.
Kendra thought back to the boy she had helped. Instantly, she decided not to mention him. She was preparing a lie of some sort when she was saved from answering by Nolan.
"How would she know?" he demanded. "She hasn't seen any of them yet."
Terrence looked crestfallen at Nolan's harsh tone.
"I doubt I'd recognize most of them, anyway." Terrence brightened as soon as Kendra answered his question. The others gave Kendra curious looks. "We didn't interact much," she explained.
Lenore frowned. "I thought they were there for over a month."
"They were."
"Then how could you have not interacted?"
A sigh escaped the blonde. This was not a discussion she wanted to have. It could lead to far too many places she didn't wish to visit. Closing her eyes briefly, Kendra carefully worded her next answer.
"They were nervous and shy then as well. Most of them had never even left the North Pole. They tended to stay within their own group and we were–" She hesitated before continuing in a softer voice. "We were Southern."
By now the group had reached their destination. The dining hall stood at the centre of the large clearing they had just entered. The building was a simple design, as were most Southern buildings. Rectangular in shape, it had large double doors leading into an equally large room dominated by a wooden table. Most elves used this entrance, though all knew there was a small door on the other side of the building leading directly into the kitchen.
"Didn't you talk to any of them?"
As soon as the question had been asked, Kendra thought of the boy she had helped. This memory was quickly followed by an image of another, older boy with green eyes and messy brown hair. She couldn't stop the small smile from appearing on her face as she remembered the boy's awkwardness when he realized his mistake in age. Even better had been his sister's exasperation.
"I may have talked to one or two of them, but it was all very one sided."
Lenore merely shook her head as the group approached the entrance to the building. "I still don't see how you could've resisted interacting."
The smile fell from Kendra's face. "It was a long time ago. The place and the company were very different." As she followed the rest inside, the blonde mentally cursed herself for the way her voice had cracked on the word "company".
Luckily, none of the others heard. Despite the presence of fifteen elves, the room she entered seemed incredibly loud after the relatively quiet evening. Most of the light came from candles, but the windows were left open to let in the last vestiges of the sun. Food was laid out on the table with twenty-seven place settings, most of which were occupied. Just like the last time Northerners had stayed with Southerners, a clear divide appeared between the two groups as the Northerners already present sat at the opposite end of the table from the Southerners.
Jeremy glanced back at Kendra. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothing that would seem important."
Kendra's words were soft as she spoke more to herself. Jeremy, who hadn't waited for an answer, didn't hear the girl's words. Shaking her head, the blonde moved to follow Jeremy to the table, but was stopped by a strong grip on her arm. Turning, she found Kern staring at her.
"To whom?" he asked when he saw he had her attention.
"What?"
"To whom would it not seem important? To yourself? Or to us?"
Kern had overheard her last comment, Kendra realized. Blinking rapidly, she struggled for an answer. "It-it shouldn't be important to anyone."
"But it is," he retorted. "It's important to you. Why? If you don't think it should be important, than why is it? Just let whatever it is go. It's as simple as that." Kern finally released her arm. "You'll probably be better off if you take my advice." He brushed past her, heading towards the table.
Kendra couldn't bring herself to move. She wanted to. In the moments after Kern left her, she wanted more than anything to follow after him, acting like what he said hadn't effected her at all. But she couldn't and a part of her hated herself for that.
It wasn't that she had been surprised by Kern's insight. He was always very observant. She didn't doubt that he had seen through any of the lies or half-truths she had told. Neither was it hurt holding her in place. In fact, the feeling that Kern's words created surprised her. She felt angry and insulted. How dare Kern presume to know her thoughts and feelings? Even worse was the advice he had given her. Didn't he understand she was already trying to do exactly as he instructed? She was trying to forget, to move on, but it wasn't as easy as he had made it out to be. How could it be when such an important piece of her life had simply disappeared?
"Are you alright, Kendra?"
The elf jumped slightly, startled by the unexpected question. Turning, she found Nolan offering her a slight smile as he waved her forward towards the table. Kendra took a few steps in his direction. Pleased by her movement, the younger elf turned away, continuing his progress towards the table.
"Don't worry about what Kern said. I don't think he knows what he's talking about. I mean, how hard can it be to let go of something?"
Nolan didn't notice when Kendra stopped walking. The anger she had felt moments before disappeared. In its stead a new pain appeared. She understood that Nolan was trying to comfort her, but to have an elf as young as him telling her that she shouldn't be struggling with these horrible feelings and that her memories should be easy to lock away was almost unbearable. Tears slowly began to form in her eyes. Blinking rapidly against the moisture, Kendra backed away from the room.
By now, Nolan had realized that something was wrong. "Kendra?"
The hesitant question was all the girl needed to jolt her from her thoughts. Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Kendra turned and bolted from the room.
x.x.x.
The forest flew by Kendra in a blur of shadows and golden colours as she sprinted back down the path she had been walking only minutes before. She allowed her instincts to take over as she dodged exposed roots and ducked overhanging branches. It didn't really matter to her if she fell, but she wasn't sure if she would be able to get back up if she did and right now sitting in the middle of the main pathway wasn't an option.
As she ran, Kendra tried to push Nolan's words out of her mind, but they wouldn't leave. All of her life, she had been different. Never had she been able to stay within the limits of Southern emotions. It wasn't unusual for younger elves to feel more strongly, but Kendra hadn't even wanted to be like the normal Southerners. She liked feeling happy. She liked having friends, though no one else seemed open to the idea. Well, almost no one else. Another wave of sorrow overtook the girl at these thoughts. Choking back a sob, she put on another burst of speed.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a cabin half hidden by trees. It was only one of the many buildings scattered throughout the area. Each building contained multiple rooms and each room had its own entrance, ensuring privacy to the occupants of each room. Kendra had never felt more thankful for that fact than she did in this instant. Without slowing, the girl turned left onto a different trail.
She had only gone a short distance before she was halted by a hard impact. Distracted as she was, Kendra was immensely surprised to find herself suddenly on the ground and couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. A male voice answered that particular question.
"Are you alright? I'm sorry. I didn't see you coming." A hand appeared before Kendra. "Let me help you up."
Kendra stared at the hand. Blinking, she followed the hand to the arm it was attached to and continued upward until she found a face to match the voice. The few scatted sparkles marked him as a Northerner and the blonde easily recognized him as the first Northerner she had seen earlier.
A slight smile graced the older elf's lips as he lowered his hand farther, encouraging the Southerner to take it. The smile brought back the feelings of familiarity. Frowning, she struggled to remember. Then it came to her. Everything fit – the voice, the green eyes, the unruly hair and, of course, the smile.
"Carlin," she whispered to herself, testing the name.
The Northerner gave up on Kendra taking his hand and bent down, grabbing her arms and pulling her up. A look of surprise passed over his face at the sound of his name.
"Yeah. Do I know you?"
For the first time since she had run into him, Kendra focused completely on the elf in front of her. Shock passed over her features as she registered the situation. As she pulled herself from Carlin's grasp, his eyes lit with recognition. The look only unnerved Kendra more.
"Excuse me."
Without waiting for any further acknowledgement, Kendra brushed past the startled elf and started her mad sprint once again. This time, she was determined to pay more attention to her surroundings to avoid more confrontations. However, she was quickly overtaken by the thoughts she had tried push away and was barely aware of what she was doing.
The last time she had seen Carlin she hadn't been alone. They had such different reactions to his proposal. Or was it a request? Kendra had never been sure and the only other who might have had an idea about it refused to discuss it. The very thought of it had disgusted her. Kendra easily admitted to being surprised, dumbstruck even, but disgusted seemed to be overreacting. It had been an honest mistake and Carlin was obviously embarrassed.
Swallowing hard, Kendra skidded to a halt in front of one of the doors. Flinging it open she stumbled inside the sparsely decorated room.
The incident was only one of the disagreements the friends had over the Northerners. How could they have reacted so differently? Why had that one-month changed everything about them? Were the problems already there, just ignored, or did the Northerners cause it? If it was because of the Northerners, why did they let such a trivial matter come between them?
The door shut firmly behind the Southerner. Slowly, she fell back on to it and let herself sink down to the floor.
Kendra had tried. She honestly had. Did she not do enough? Was it her fault? Should she have tried harder? Did she try too hard?
Unconsciously she pulled her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around them and gently rocking back and forth.
Or did it have nothing to do with her at all? What if it was her friend? Were they friends? Kendra had thought so, but how could she be sure. After all, Southerners weren't supposed to make friends, only acquaintances. But she was different. She couldn't be content with acquaintances. She thought they were both like that, that she wasn't the only one, but how could she be sure? Maybe she had been wrong. What did she mean to Nicole?
A choked sob escaped her as she thought the name she had avoided for so long. A few tears managed to streak down her face before she brought herself under control again. No! she thought harshly. I will not cry. Another sob welled up within. Frowning, she repeated her former words. I will not cry. More tears filled her eyes. I will not cry. The words sounded more desperate now. Taking a ragged breath, she tightened her grip on her knees and continued her mantra as she slowly rocked back and forth in the darkened room.
x.x.x.
Darkness came quickly. The small room was encased with it. Suffocating was the only word to describe it. Most would have done something, done anything, to lift the deathly atmosphere filling the room. However, the only occupant had felt like she was suffocating long before night had come. She didn't even notice when the eventual moonlight filtered down through the trees, lightening the oppressive feeling.
With such a silence settled over the room, the soft shifting of cloth seemed to echo unnaturally. It had only been a few moments since she had collapsed against the door. Or perhaps it had been a few hours. Yes, the elf was certain it was hours. If the telltale moonlight illuminating the inky black shadows into the familiar shapes of furniture wasn't enough to prove this, then the harsh quiet that only came late at night was. Her stiff muscles added to these conclusions. One didn't stiffen this much in only a few minutes.
A small gasp escaped her as Kendra used the nearby shelves to pull herself from her position on the floor. Without conscious thought, the muscles in her body tensed. Her back arched and her hands stretched outward from her body. A slight sway appeared as her legs tensed. A few joints popped, and the girl winced in pain. Still, it feels better now.
Muscles having finally relaxed, the elf took a few steps forward, moving towards the centre of the room. Unsure, she paused. While a part of her felt utterly exhausted, Kendra was filled with an unusual amount of energy. The thought of sleep was repugnant to her, but she didn't know what else to do. Glancing around the familiar setting, she saw nothing that inspired her to action. There was nothing in here to provide a distraction from…what? What exactly was she scared of? Memories? They couldn't hurt her, could they?
Yes, she answered her own question, they could.
A chill passed through her and she could feel her heart rate increasing along with her breathing. Suddenly, the room that had offered protection and safety before was confining. She couldn't stay here. Gasping, she returned to the door and extended a shaking hand towards the handle. For a moment she froze. What if she was wrong about the time that had passed? What if it was still early? What if she opened her door only to be confronted by other elves? She didn't think she could deal with anyone else right now.
She closed her eyes briefly, pushing away the irrational fears. In one quick movement, she pulled the door open and stepped through. Behind her, the door shut soundly, clearly punctuating her actions. It only took a few seconds to scan the area, revealing nothing besides the night forest bathed in a silvery glow. Kendra relaxed as her pointless fear left her. A breathy laugh escaped. Even to her ears it sounded strained and slightly hysterical. Only a few seconds passed before other thoughts returned to hover near the surface of her mind. Fighting against the relentless emotions, she levered herself forward and started into the woods.
It seemed silly to her now, her worry over meeting someone out here. Still, it had been a real fear. A slight frown creased her brow. All of this was caused by time passing without her knowledge. This greatly disturbed her. She knew it was past midnight. Morning wasn't too far away. Yet a part of her insisted she had only been sitting there for a few minutes. The frown deepened. Had she really been that lost in her own thoughts?
The Southerner, who had been too deep in thought to care where she was going, stopped to look around her. Something about this area commanded her attention and she abandoned her former train of thought, though she knew it wouldn't be neglected for long.
She took her time as she peered into the darkened woods. She hadn't gone far. Cabins surrounded her and her feet were still firmly planted on a well-worn trail. To her right, another, slightly overgrown path led to a nearby door. There was only one path, meaning the other doors must be reached by a different route. That or the cabin had been out of use for so long that the paths were no longer visible. Kendra didn't truly care which it was. Her attention was focused on the path before her.
Biting her lip, the elf took a few steps forward, then turned to face the opposite direction. She stood there for a moment. Then it dawned on her. This was the spot where she had met Carlin earlier this afternoon. Looking back with her mind slightly more coherent, the girl realized why she hadn't been able to avoid the boy. Sharp brown eyes shifted to the path. He must've been coming down this path, probably heading for supper.
With a jolt, Kendra realized she had stepped onto the smaller trail. For a moment, she found herself frozen by her unconscious actions. The moment passed and she took another step forward. Then another. And another. Her heart pounded as she continued down the path, finally coming to a stop in front of the wooden door.
What am I doing? This is insane.
Despite her thoughts, Kendra moved closer to the door. She paused as she stood before the entryway. She didn't want to think about why she was doing this. She preferred the unreal feeling that surrounded her, like living in a dream. Slowly, she extended her hand, rapping sharply against the wood.
Sounds of movement echoed from within. Breath caught in the blonde elf's throat as soft footsteps approached the door. A new thought raced through the girl's mind. What if this wasn't Carlin's door? What if she was wrong? She slowly stepped backwards, retreating into the night.
She didn't get far before the door opened. Tired green eyes, slightly unfocused, swept across the woods, coming to rest on the Southerner. Quietly, she let out a sigh of relief. It was Carlin's cabin. The relief was banished when the older boy's mind began to comprehend the situation.
"What are you doing here?"
Every instinct Kendra had was screaming for her to bolt, but she found her feet taking her forward, not back. As she moved, she desperately looked for a suitable answer for Carlin's question, but nothing came to mind.
A frown appeared on the Northerner's face as he watched the girl's slow movements. "Are you alright? You seemed a bit distracted earlier."
"I'm fine."
Carlin's frown deepened. The blond was now standing directly in front of him. He straightened slightly, gently laying his hands on her shoulders to stop her movement. Her progress impeded, Kendra finally focused, staring deep into the Northerner's eyes. In a flurry of movement, the Southerner surged upwards, pressing her lips against Carlin's. The older elf tensed, but didn't pull away. This was Kendra's first kiss, though, and her inexperience showed. After it became apparent she was going to do nothing else, the Northerner tightened his grip on her shoulders, pushing her back.
Kendra opened eyes she had closed to see a perplexed look on Carlin's handsome features. "What are you doing?"
"I–" She hesitated. What had she been doing? Scared of the answer her mind might offer, she quickly blurted, "I was kissing you."
"Yes." Carlin dragged out the word slightly. An amused light appeared in his eyes. "I realized that much. Why were you kissing me?"
"Can't you figure that out for yourself?"
The amusement disappeared. "Hmm." His eyes gazed intently into Kendra's and the blonde couldn't help but look away. The boy finally stepped backwards, pushing Kendra away to arms length. He began to close the door. "Go back to bed, kid,"
His movement was halted by the Southerner's hand impacting with the wood. "You once offered me a bed for the night. At the time I was just a kid, but I'm not any more. Now that I'm finally old enough to accept your offer will you truly turn me away?"
Her words caused the Northerner to pause. He stood, looking at the girl in front of him, his face unreadable. Finally, he sighed, pulling open the door and stepping forward again.
"I know what you're doing and I know why you're here, but I don't think you do. You're right. I won't turn you away. But I need to know you're sure this is what you want."
Kendra looked away again, hiding the inner turmoil she felt at Carlin's simple question. A part of her screamed that, no, she didn't want this. She wanted to turn and walk away from this door but she couldn't. What she felt now wasn't want, but need. She needed this. If she left, there was nowhere for her to go. Here she could find something. Here she wouldn't be alone and she needed that. She needed to have someone there with her, even if it was only for one night.
Meeting Carlin's eyes once again, Kendra found herself standing slightly straighter as she tried to wipe any signs of fear from her face. She knew if Carlin detected anything besides certainty, he would close his door to her.
"Yes," she answered, her voice sounding more confident than she had imagined it could. "I'm sure."
A sad smile traced Carlin's lips. "Alright. If you're certain."
"I am."
The Northerner stepped back to allow the younger elf entrance. Knowing she wouldn't be able to bring herself to turn back once she crossed the threshold, Kendra stepped boldly into the room, the door swinging shut behind her.
x.x.x.
The animal sounds often taken for granted in the day slowly returned to the woods, lifting the heavy silence of night. The sun had yet to peek over the horizon, though the blackness of night had already lightened into a dull grey. Morning had arrived.
It didn't take long for Kendra to decide she detested waking up. The room in which she found herself wasn't hers and the bed wasn't familiar. Even worse was the warmth of another body curled against her back. Carefully untangling herself from blankets and limbs, Kendra slid towards the edge of the bed before turning to confirm her fears. Lying next to her was Carlin, still sleeping soundly.
"Shit."
For a moment, the Southerner stayed frozen on the edge of the bed. It had been real. All of it. Of course she already knew this, even before she was faced with the undeniable truth before her. Still, she had hoped, prayed even, for it all to have been a dream.
Fighting back the emotions threatening to overwhelm her, Kendra finally pushed herself the rest of the way out of bed. She didn't allow her thoughts to truly manifest, focusing on finding all of her clothing in the half-lit gloom. It wasn't actually all that hard, but her fear of having to face Carlin made her cautious.
After she found all of her clothing, Kendra wasted no time in dressing. As she pulled her loose shirt over her head, she took a final glance around the cabin to make sure she left nothing behind. The last thing she wanted was to come back here later. Satisfied, she moved quickly towards the door, easily navigating the shadowy objects around her. Having reached the door without a problem, Kendra prepared to go out, leaving behind this waking nightmare, but she found herself hesitating.
She knew that she shouldn't be sneaking off like this. It was rude and showed very little respect to the Northerner asleep behind her. Carlin had always treated her kindly and he deserved better than to wake up alone. But I can't handle this right now. Tears welled up in Kendra's eyes. I just can't! The muscles in her arms tensed, ready to fling the door open.
"Leaving already?"
Kendra jumped at the sound of a voice behind her. A startled cry tried to escape her lips at the same time she gasped, the result being a highly undignified squeak.
When did he wake up? she mentally cried. The Northerner looked fully aware under the mussed brown hair, indicating that he had probably been awake for quite awhile.
"I…I…"
Carlin didn't say anything as he climbed out of bed and walked to the door. Kendra, realizing that her stammering wasn't helping her at all, snapped her mouth shut and waited for the older elf to say something. If Carlin noticed Kendra's obvious fear, he ignored it. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, merely looking at the girl in front of him. A slight smile crossed his features, though it fell short of his eyes. Shifting his position, he pressed one of his hands against the door near Kendra's head. Although the position was meant to look casual, Kendra recognized that it was to keep her from bolting.
"You know, I don't even know your name."
The Southerner made herself meet Carlin's gaze. "Kendra."
"Kendra." He nodded thoughtfully, looking away. "A lovely name."
"Th-thank you."
Silence fell over the room again. Kendra let her gaze wander. She found herself staring at the wall in front of her. Slowly, her eyes slid down until they rested at the junction of the wall and floor. There was nothing interesting there. It was an average floor meeting an average wall. Nothing was there to hold her attention. Light brown eyes never wavered from the spot. As she continued to stare, Kendra found it easier to forget the boy beside her and the awkwardness of the situation. The girl had almost stopped all thoughts about her surroundings when Carlin's voice brought her back to the room.
"I lied earlier."
Confused by this sudden and rather succinct confession, Kendra once again looked at the Northerner, a slight frown creasing her brow. She waited impatiently for him to explain his words, but he kept staring at the other side of the cabin.
At last, she gave up and asked, "Lied about what?"
A slight smile played across his features. "About knowing why you were at my door in the middle of the night."
"Oh." Her eyes shifted to the floor. She hadn't truly wanted to be reminded of that.
"Don't misunderstand this, Kendra."
His tone was so harsh and so unlike him that Kendra couldn't help but look back up. When she did, she found that he was finally looking at her again. Instantly, she wished that he weren't. The way he was looking at her was unnerving. It felt as though he knew all of her secrets, though he had only just learned her name.
"I may not know exactly why you came here, but I still know what it was you were doing." He leaned in towards the Southerner, lowering his voice as he spoke. "Even if forgetting was the answer to your problems, this isn't the way to go about it."
Kendra's eyes widened at the words. Whatever she had expected Carlin to say, it wasn't anything like this. Feeling trapped, the blonde started forward. A firm grip on her upper arm stopped her from moving. Desperately she tried to control her trembling as she once again met Carlin's intense gaze.
"Running away isn't the answer either."
An anger rose within her. "Then what is?" Her own vehemence surprised her. "You seem to know everything, so what is the answer to my problems?"
"I don't know. Like I said, I don't know why you're here. Actually, I'm surprised you are. A Southerner is the last person I expected to act like this. I didn't think you were supposed to feel this strongly about anything."
"We're not." The anger drained out of the elf. A single tear managed to slip down Kendra's face before she could stop it. Quickly, she wiped it off her cheek, turning her head so Carlin couldn't see. Damn, she thought as she struggled to get herself under control.
"There's one of your problems. You shouldn't stop yourself from crying."
"It doesn't help anything."
"You're wrong. It does help. It may not feel like it, but crying helps."
Kendra said nothing, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with his words. Sighing in frustration, Carlin grabbed the girl's shoulders, moving both of their bodies so they were looking at each other.
"You're grieving. I don't know who or what for, but it's obvious that you are. I can't tell you exactly what to do or how to respond. I can't fix all of your problems. That's your job. What I can do is tell you what I know.
"I know that it hurts. It hurts more than anything ever should. It feels like you're slowly getting torn to shreds from the inside out. I know it feels like the pain and the hurt and the sorrow are too much to bear. The thought of getting lost in that whirlwind of emotion, of losing control terrifies you and that's why you keep running.
"The thing about running is eventually there's no where else to go. It's better to just face it now. It will take over and you will lose control. There will be lots of pain and tears and it's alright to be afraid of that. You need realize that, no matter how horrible it gets, you can work through it. It goes away, Kendra. The lack of control, feeling like you're going to shatter at any moment, the fear and the uncertainty – it all goes away, if you let your grief run its course."
Carlin straightened, his stream of words suddenly ended. He let his hands drop from Kendra's shoulders and moved away from the shocked Southerner.
"I can't make you take my advice, Kendra. You could walk out of that door and pretend this whole thing never happened, but I hope that you'll at least think about what I've said."
Kendra could find nothing to say in response to this. Knowing some sort of answer was needed, she nodded, already turning towards the door. Once again, she hesitated with her hand on the handle. She felt like she should say something more, but nothing came to mind. Realizing there was nothing she could do, she finally pulled the door open, letting in the first golden rays of morning.
The Southerner was going to step outside when Carlin called to her. "Kendra?" The girl turned so she could view the older elf. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"No."
"The last time I stayed with Southerners, something happened that I've always wondered about. A younger elf named Bernard managed to get himself beaten. I never knew who did it." Kendra opened her mouth to speak. "And I never want to. However, someone did fix him up and bring him back to our cabin. He never said who it was. Claimed to be unconscious through the entire thing, in fact. Still, he let slip that someone, a 'she', was responsible." He smiled slightly. "It was you, wasn't it?"
Kendra found that she could only blink at this unexpected question. After her surprise had passed, she felt the corners of her mouth lift into a self-conscious smile. Embarrassed, she ducked her head. "Yes," she answered softly. "Yes, it was me."
A hand came to rest gently on her shoulder. When Kendra looked up, she saw Carlin softly smiling at her. "You're a good kid, Kendra," he insisted, leaving no room for disagreement. "Don't let yourself forget that."
A blush crept onto her cheeks as Kendra nodded in response to Carlin's words. No, I don't think I'll ever forget this.
x.x.x
Despite the arrival of morning, very few elves were awake. It wasn't unusual to see the residents sleeping in well after sunrise. As Kendra hurried through the woods, she briefly let relief flood through her when it became apparent that it was a normal morning.
At least for everyone else.
Blinking against the tears, she tightened her grip across her stomach. Summer may be in the air, but the mornings still held a distinct chill. Not that she was foolish enough to believe this was why she couldn't stop shivering.
It seemed like it took an eternity to reach her cabin from Carlin's. When she did finally arrive, she wasted no time in bursting through the door. Once inside, she paused, unsure of where she was going. Eventually, she took a tentative step forward, moving towards the stool standing near a small table. Another step followed the first, more confident this time. As she moved through the darkened room, Kendra forced herself to bring her hands to her sides and assume a more casual position. She could relax. There was no one in here to see her.
Yes, she thought. There isn't anyone else here. Why do I care how I appear? Before she finished the thought, her arms had found their way back to her midsection.
In truth, the closed off body language didn't truly appear that different from her normal body language. The difference was completely internal. Never before had Kendra felt so out of control. Thoughts whirled through her mind so fast she couldn't make any materialize. Only her emotions seemed to be running clearly, but even they were constantly shifting.
Sinking onto the stool, she closed her eyes tiredly. She didn't know what it was that Carlin had stirred up in her. She didn't want to know. The fear of touching whatever was lurking beneath the surface of all this turmoil was overpowering and the elf shied away.
Maybe that's one of the problems.
The thought came unbidden. Kendra straightened, blinking into the darkness. She had never had a thought like that before. Always she had trusted her instincts and trusted that if she was afraid of something it was for a good reason.
"Eventually there's nowhere else to go," she whispered, not truly realizing she spoke aloud.
A strange feeling spread through her. At the time, Kendra hadn't really believed what Carlin was saying. What could he know? Now, as she rethought his advice, his words made sense. Maybe, just maybe, he did know what he was talking about. But that means…
A sharp shake of her head dispelled the thought. No, she mentally hissed. I won't lose control. Despite the firmness of her resolve, the tears were already welling up in her eyes and she could feel the sorrow pushing to the front of her mind with all the memories she had tried to forget.
A choked sob echoed through the room. Kendra brought her hand up to cover her mouth as if to hold back the tears, but it was too late. A ragged breath was followed by another sob as tears began to spill down her cheeks. There was no possibility of stopping the overwhelming flood of emotion and Kendra was finding that a large part of her didn't want to. Closing her eyes, the blonde reluctantly let go of her emotions, allowing the tears to slip from under her eyelids unchallenged.
x.x.x.
Time did not pass quickly for Kendra. Every minute seemed to creep by. Yet hours slid away without her knowledge. It was a strange feeling not knowing how many days had come and gone. It was an even stranger feeling to realize that she didn't care. There were only a few instances in her life where she had lost track of time. Rarely had she willingly given herself over to these periods and the experiences had been wholly unpleasant. It wasn't exactly enjoyable this time, but it had felt refreshing to review her memories of Nicole, even if all of them were tainted by the bitterness of their friendship's final years.
At least four days.
It had been at least four days. Four days alone in her cabin. Four days of memories and tears. Of course she could be wrong. The only way to find out would be to go outside and ask someone. The blonde frowned at her hand resting against the door. She needed to go outside if for no other reason than her hunger, but she wasn't sure if she was ready. Kendra doubted she could confidently face the others yet. It was this uncertainty that led to her hesitation at the door.
A humourless smile replaced her frown. This is becoming a bad habit. She tightened her grip on the handle as she tried to force her doubts to the back of her mind. Since when did I become afraid of opening a door? Rolling her eyes at her own foolishness, Kendra stepped out into the late afternoon sun. Nervously, she waited for someone to see her, to call out to her, but it quickly became apparent that no one was there. The blonde released the breath she'd been holding, slumping against the door. See? Foolishness.
Kendra slowly straightened and began walking towards the main path. Halfway there, she paused for a moment. While it had been foolish to be afraid to go outside, she still felt too emotionally raw to safely deal with people, especially the Southerners. Biting her lip, the blonde glanced towards the woods. She knew her way around, even in the less travelled portions of the forest. It wouldn't be difficult to find her way to the dining hall.
Before she could decide the sound of voices reached Kendra's ears. Without further thought, she ducked into the brush along the path. Two Northern elves soon came into view. Kendra held as still as possible, not wanting to risk discovery. After they had passed, she slowly stood.
No, I'm not going to try the main path.
Having made the decision, the blonde moved deeper into the woods.
x.x.x.
Traversing the woods took longer than Kendra thought it would. As predicted, she didn't get lost, but a few elves had been wandering off the trail and she had to circumvent a small picnic three Northerners were having. The stealth quickly wore on Kendra's patience and the dining hall was a welcomed sight. Still, Kendra once again hesitated. Often the building was occupied by bored elves. Kendra had retreated to the cool interior of the large building on more than one occasion. After a moment's thought, the blonde decided that it would be easier to go directly to the kitchen.
This choice resulted in more time spent in the forest. With most of the windows open, Kendra felt safer walking the circumference of the clearing instead of going across it. By the time she reached the opposite side, Kendra was questioning her decisions. It might have been easier to deal with the other elves.
A relieved sigh passed the elf's lips when she finally entered the kitchen. Her relief was quickly replaced with confusion. What she could see of the room was empty. Usually, someone was in here preparing for the next meal. Wandering forward, she called out. She was relieved when another voice answered.
"Hello?" A petite elf leaned out from behind a large cabinet. The woman's brown hair was pulled back firmly into a braid and her plain clothing was covered by an apron. Brown eyes regarded Kendra for a moment before she went back to what she had been doing. "Do you need something?"
"I was just looking for something to eat."
The older elf stopped her work, turning back to Kendra. "Did you miss lunch?"
"Yes."
Again the woman looked Kendra over. Sighing, she stepped back from the counter where she was working. "Alright. Go sit over there." She gestured behind her with a flour-covered hand.
"Thank you," Kendra said as she hurried past to a small stool next to a counter. A grunt was her only reply as the woman hurried away, presumably to look for food.
The cook was only gone for a few minutes before she returned carrying a bowl. She carefully set the bowl before the younger elf, and then returned to work on what Kendra guessed was some sort of bread.
Kendra stared into the soup for a moment before she picked up the spoon inside. The soup was not hot, though it wasn't exactly cold either. It was probably the leftovers from lunch and seemed unappealing to the girl. However, after the first bite, she quickly changed her mind. The soup may have cooled off some and was definitely over-spiced, but it was better than nothing and she was hungry. It took all her self-restraint not to bolt the food in front of her.
A loud bang reminded Kendra of the other elf's presence. Looking up, she saw the woman carefully wiping her hands on a towel. Their brown eyes met and the cook smiled for the first time since Kendra had entered. Putting the towel aside, the older elf grabbed another stool and approached the counter.
"How is it?" she asked as she sat down.
"It's good."
"Huh. I always thought Maggie over-spiced it."
Kendra chuckled, but didn't say anything.
Silence fell between the two as Kendra returned to her meal. Finally, the woman broke the silence again. "Anna," she introduced herself.
"Kendra."
"You seem fairly hungry, Kendra."
Kendra made a neutral sound, not wanting to admit too much to this elf.
Anna smiled. "Wait here." Kendra sat straighter and Anna laughed. "Don't worry. Finish your soup and I'll be right back."
The blonde frowned slightly, but did as she was told while Anna removed her dish from the oven to cool, then hurried away. By the time she had finished, Anna had returned with something wrapped in a napkin. Smiling, she picked up Kendra's bowl and pushed the package towards her.
"Thank you," said Kendra, standing. She glanced at the napkin, debating on whether to take it or not. Eventually, she decided it would be impolite if she didn't. Gingerly she picked up the package.
"Oh wait!"
Kendra paused, watching curiously as Anna rushed to where she had placed her dish to cool. She returned seconds later with a biscuit in her hand. Still smiling, she took the package from the confused girl and unwrapped it, revealing an assortment of vegetables, some meat and a piece of cheese. Kendra's eyes widened in surprise. Anna ignored the shocked expression, wrapping the biscuit in with the rest of the food before handing it back to the blonde.
"Thank you very much," murmured Kendra, still shocked by Anna's kindness.
"You're welcome. Next time, don't miss so many meals." The older elf gave Kendra a quick wink as she shut the door.
x.x.x.
Overall, the meal had been a small one and served mainly to whet the blonde elf's appetite. Although she disliked the thought of attending supper, she knew it was necessary. It was unlikely she'd be able to receive another meal directly from the kitchen. Besides, she desired something more substantial than the leftovers. Maybe, if she arrived early enough, she could avoid the majority of the elves who would attend the meal. Kendra pondered the idea as she nibbled on what was left of the vegetables. With a small sigh, she gave up deciding right now.
Refolding the napkin around the few remaining vegetables and the half-eaten biscuit, Kendra glanced at her surroundings. After leaving the kitchen, the girl had headed back into the woods, wandering in deeper with no particular destination in mind. She wasn't lost yet, but she had gone further than she meant to. The fact didn't actually disturb her much. There was no reason to return to her cabin and she was enjoying her walk.
Suddenly, the girl remembered the area more clearly. If she wasn't mistaken, a small stream ran through here just a short distance away. A slight smile appeared at the thought of relaxing in the pleasant area. Kendra carefully tucked the napkin into a pocket, and then started towards the general direction of the stream. Soon a soft murmur of running water reached her ears and it wasn't long before she pushed through the last of the brush.
The tranquil spot was almost exactly as she remembered it. A small stream bubbled through the area surrounded by soft grass and tall trees. The undergrowth was thick, but not unpleasant. In fact, it gave the scene more seclusion. It seemed to be a timeless place sometimes. The only thing that had changed from Kendra's last visit was the child-like figure sitting to her left. The figure, obviously an elf, was facing away from Kendra and hadn't noticed her presence yet. At first she was surprised to see another, then Kendra began to wonder why this elf was here.
She moved closer. "Hello?"
The figure turned, revealing tear-streaked cheeks and distraught eyes. Kendra barely stopped a gasp from escaping her lips as she realized whom she had stumbled upon. Looking up at her with a closed expression was the Northerner she had helped. Bernard, according to Carlin.
Kendra could think of nothing to say. The boy shifted uncomfortably as she continued to stare. Crossing his arms defensively, he eventually turned back to the stream. "Did you want something?"
The question brought Kendra out of her shock. "No," she answered quietly. "I'm–I'm sorry if I intruded."
The Northerner made no response. Unsure of what to do, Kendra waited a few seconds. Realizing Bernard wasn't going to respond, she forced herself to turn back to the forest, intent on leaving the distressed boy alone. A soft sound from behind her made her stop. Slowly she returned her gaze to the boy. He didn't repeat the sound, which had sounded suspiciously like a choked sob. Kendra took a small step forward.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
Kendra gently bit her lower lip. Warily, she watched the other elf. She wasn't sure if she should stay. It was quite probable that the boy wanted to be by himself, but she was worried about him and didn't want to leave him alone. She toyed with the idea of going to find one of his friends to come and talk to him. The thought was quickly discarded. The Southerner had no way of knowing if one of his friends wasn't the reason he was out here. In the end, she was the only one she could be certain of. Taking a deep breath in hopes of calming herself, the girl knelt slightly behind the Northerner.
"Did you miss lunch?" she asked softly. Her only answer was a shrug. Removing the napkin from her pocket, she held it out to the boy. "Here."
Bernard turned slightly, allowing his gaze to slide over the offered food before raising annoyed eyes to the blonde. "No thank you."
Kendra understood the message. Leave. Ignoring the animosity being directed toward her, she set the package on the ground beside the Northerner. "Take it. You may want it later."
The other elf said nothing as he turned his back on the girl once again, ignoring the food beside him.
Returning to chewing her lip, Kendra tried to think of something more to say. Nothing came to mind. Bernard had made his feelings clear to her. He wanted her gone and unless he changed his mind there wasn't anything more she could do. Sighing, she pushed herself to her feet. After a few steps towards the forest, she turned back.
"I am sorry for intruding." With that said, she continued on her way.
"Do I–" Kendra whirled to find Bernard looking at her. With a shake of his head, the Northerner looked away. "Never mind."
"What is it?"
"Nothing." He paused. "It's just that–" He slowly turned to look up at the blonde. "Do I know you?"
Shrugging, Kendra knelt down again, bringing them to a more equal height. "I suppose it's possible."
The Northerner frowned. "You seem so familiar."
"There are a lot of Southerners. Maybe you're confusing me with someone else."
"No," he said confidently. A few more seconds passed as he stared at Kendra, trying to place her. Abruptly he said, "It's you."
"Is it?"
"Yes, it is. You're one of the girls who helped me."
"I–" Kendra looked down, rolling a blade of grass between her fingers.
Bernard, who had been watching her reaction closely, looked back at the stream. "I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely. "I shouldn't have mentioned that. You didn't want me to–"
"It's alright," Kendra reassured him, cutting him off. "It was a long time ago. It doesn't matter any more."
"Are you sure?" Bernard met the Southerner's confused gaze. "I know you were afraid of others knowing you helped me."
Kendra attempted a reassuring smile. "It's fine."
Silence descended on the pair as Bernard turned back to the stream. Kendra noted his hands playing nervously with the grass under them. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I was surprised to see you as well."
He turned back once again. "I haven't seen you at all before today. When did you see me?"
"I saw you and the others arrive. Since then I've been…" Kendra paused to find an acceptably neutral word. "Preoccupied."
Another silence fell. It felt more awkward than before. Kendra was certain Bernard knew she was purposefully understating her reasons for not being around the past few days. Still, the blonde wasn't inclined to tell him the truth. She especially hoped to avoid mentioning certain details, such as her time spent with Carlin. As enjoyable as it had been, she wasn't proud of her decision that night. Hopefully, she would never have to explain it to anyone, much less the boy in front of her.
"Thank you."
Kendra started, surprised by the unexpected words. "For what?"
"For helping me despite your misgivings."
"It wasn't a problem." She paused before adding a self-conscious, "You're welcome."
Neither of the elves spoke for a moment. Kendra let her mind wander back to the time she had helped Bernard. He seemed so different now. Back then he had been curious and so very young. Even when she had seen him a few days ago, there had been a love of life evident in his eyes. Frowning, she wondered what could have caused this change in his manner.
A shifting of Bernard's position brought Kendra back to the present. "What happened to the other place?"
The Southerner gave the Northerner a confused look. "Nothing happened to it as far as I know."
"Then why are you here instead of there?"
Kendra's eyes widened at the question. Of all the topics she thought Bernard might bring up, her home situation hadn't crossed her mind. Hoping her answer would be suitable, she quietly explained, "I went home. After a while, my mother decided it'd be best if I left again for a while. I just happened to end up here instead of there."
"Did she think you'd be in the way?" Bernard had turned to face the stream again.
"What?"
"Your mother. Did she think you'd be in the way?"
"You could put it that way." Kendra hoped Bernard wouldn't ask anything else. Her mother was not a topic the Southerner was eager to discuss.
"My mother thought the same thing."
"Oh. Is that why you're here?"
"That's why we're all here."
Not sure how to respond, the girl nodded sagely, though she knew the boy wouldn't be able to see her. Several moments passed. The only sounds that broke the silence were the distant singing of summer birds, the stream and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. Kendra shifted nervously as she waited for the Northerner to say something.
"I should've been there." The words were so soft they were barely audible.
"Been where?"
"Home."
"Wh–" Kendra cut herself off before she could ask why. She had a feeling this was part of the reason Bernard was out here. Somehow it didn't seem right demanding to know what he was just beginning to reveal to her. Covering her error in judgement with a cough, Kendra continued with a different question. "What would you do if you were there?"
The answer seemed strained, as if Bernard was barely keeping control. "I don't know."
"Well, are you going back soon?"
The boy shrugged.
"You do want to go home, right?"
Again he shrugged.
Sensing the need for a change in topic, Kendra halted her questioning. She paused for a moment. "I don't think I want to go home." Instantly she regretted her words as Bernard turned to look at her curiously. She hadn't truly thought about how quickly this admission could lead to a discussion she didn't want to have. Smiling slightly to cover her mistake, Kendra quickly added, "I'd rather go to London. I always liked it there."
The Northerner gave the girl a perplexed look. "What would you do there?"
"I don't know. Maybe I could do something with numbers, like accounting or some such. I'm pretty good with my sums."
The boy merely nodded, loosing interest in the topic. Kendra could sense the boy drifting back into his own thoughts. Some time to think would probably be good for him, but Kendra didn't want the conversation to end yet. After so much time alone, the Southerner was enjoying her chance to interact with another. Besides, she was still worried about the boy. He hadn't actually told her what was wrong and Kendra was uncomfortable just leaving him now. Perhaps I should just ask. It might be easier to talk about if I bring up the subject. A frown appeared on her face. She couldn't be certain that was the correct course of action, but she didn't know what else to do.
Still unsure, the blonde leaned forward to touch the Northerner's shoulders. Surprised by the contact he turned, meeting her intense gaze. "Bernard, I–"
"Please, Nicole," he pleaded. "Leave it alone."
Kendra reeled backwards in surprise. "Wh-What did you call me?"
Bernard frowned at the question. "Is something wrong?" The blonde could only stare at the Northerner incredulously. Now concerned, Bernard moved closer to the shocked elf. "Nicole, what's wrong?"
The girl shook her head slowly. "Bernard," she managed to choke out, "I'm not–"
"Bernard!"
The Northern boy instantly looked up at the sound of his name. "Alicia," he whispered. Hurried steps carried him away from the stunned Southerner. "Alicia!"
"Bernard?" Alicia cried again, much closer this time.
He took a few more steps before stopping. "Over here, Alicia!"
The sound of brush rustling heralded Alicia's appearance near the stream. Kendra watched as the red haired girl she'd viewed from the tree rushed to Bernard, tears sliding down her cheeks. Without hesitation the girl embraced her friend in a comforting hug. Slowly, Bernard returned the hug, his own tears beginning to flow.
As Kendra watched the scene, she realized tears were also trickling down from her eyes. Brushing away the moisture, she carefully stood then stumbled toward the seclusion of the forest. Neither of the Northerners noticed her movement.
"I'm so sorry, Bernard," Alicia was saying. The boy didn't respond verbally and Kendra didn't look back to see what he did.
Reaching the relative safety of the trees, Kendra allowed herself to sink to the ground, her back resting against a tree. As touching as the scene by the stream was, the girl knew it wasn't the cause for her tears. He thinks I'm Nicole, she mentally cried as silent sobs wracked her body. All along he thought I was Nicole!
"Theon's here."
"He is? Why?"
"You know how close he is–" Alicia paused. "How close he was to your parents. He wants to help, Bernard."
Kendra didn't hear any of the words drifting from the two friends. Mentally, she was rethinking her conversation with Bernard. Certain parts made more sense now that she was looking at them in a new light. His worry over letting her know that he was conscious when she and Nicole had helped him seemed clearer. A bitter smile played across her features. And I thought that he was worried about my relationship with the other elves. All he was really concerned with was alienating me. The smile disappeared, replaced with a fresh bout of tears.
"How can he help? There's nothing he can do now."
"Not for them, no. Bernard, he wants to help you. He wants to take care of you until you're ready to take care of yourself."
"I don't need him to take care for me."
"Are you sure? He's offering you a home, a place to stay."
The one thing Kendra wasn't quite sure of was the implications of Bernard's mistake. She couldn't understand what this meant or why she had such a powerful reaction to it. Granted, she had only recently come to terms with Nicole no longer being there, but this went beyond mere surprise or grief. When Bernard had called her Nicole, she had actually been hurt. It had almost felt like a betrayal. It was as if his mistake had left a personal mark.
"I could stay with your family if I had to. I don't need him."
"Maybe not. Maybe you'll be fine without him. But maybe he needs you. Did you think of that, Bernard? He's lost two very dear friends. You're all he has left."
Throughout the entire conversation, Bernard had never suspected that he was wrong. Maybe that was the problem. For so long, Kendra had been confronted with how different she and Nicole were, yet this boy she had helped, this boy who had remembered her and even thanked her, couldn't tell the difference. He had remembered their names. Couldn't he remember how contrasting their personalities had been?
"You want me to stay with him."
"I think it's worth considering."
"I don't think it's a good idea, Alicia."
But maybe the problem wasn't that Bernard couldn't see how contrasting her and Nicole's personalities were. No, the problem was that she had been thought of as Nicole. With a jolt, Kendra re-examined this thought. The more she looked at it, the truer it became. The truth was she didn't want to be confused with Nicole. More than anything, she wanted to be a separate entity from her friend.
"Perhaps you should go and talk with him before you decide, alright?"
"Alright. I'll talk to him."
Kendra sniffed against the tears that were slowly abating. Wiping away the remaining moisture on her cheeks, the girl considered her next action. Now that she had calmed down some after her shock, the elf felt foolish for what sherealized was an overreaction. She could fix this problem easily. All she had to do was tell Bernard who she actually was. It was simple.
Breaking through the foliage, she opened her mouth to call out to the boy only to have the words die on her tongue. The area was deserted. There was no sign of the two Northerners. Kendra sat down in the soft grass. It felt strangely empty here now that the boy was gone. The girl slowly reached out to pick up the napkin, still sitting neatly wrapped where she had placed it earlier. Absently, she spun it around in her hands.
It had been a mistake and a simple one at that. Kendra hoped to correct it quickly. She didn't want Bernard to spend the rest of his life thinking of her as Nicole. As she sat idly beside the stream, Kendra had a feeling that she had missed her opportunity. It had been luck that brought them together a second time and, as much as she wanted to believe otherwise, she doubted they would ever have another chance meeting such as this.
The Southerner brought her knees up to her chest and rested her cheek atop them as she contemplated all that had happened recently, staring at the water beside her, alone in the quiet woods.
x.x.x.
Response to Reviews
Gypsy-Fire: You're right. Bernard is OOC, but, like you pointed out, he is still young. Don't worry. I still have lots more things to throw at him before we reach the movie. I'm glad you liked the Southerners and my characters. It's kinda scary introducing original concepts/characters. I wasn't sure how they'd be received. And also, thank you for being the first to review! It was much appreciated (especially since I wasn't expecting a review until this part!).
Icepatch: Bernard is so difficult not to love. Don't know why. It's just the way he is. Anyway, enjoy hugging him. Just don't smother him before I get my story done, please. He's kinda the main character and, therefore, important. Thank you for reviewing and I hope this part wasn't too short on Bernard for you!
I'd also like thank anyone who read my story but didn't review. Just the fact that you read is pretty amazing and flattering to me, so thank you any lurkers who may have gathered!
So that was Part Two. I hope that it was worth the wait. Feel free to tell me if it was by moving your cursor down to that little review button. If nothing else, it will help encourage me as I work on Part Three: Threes. Until then!