Chapter Thirty-Seven - Longings

"Zarine, hurry up! I want to eat!" Tyson's loud complaint came through from the other side of the door.

"Coming," she called. She studied the reflection in the mirror and sighed. She looked terrible, her eyes were still red from all the tears earlier.

"If you don't come out, I'm—"the blue haired boy stopped in mid-sentence when Zarine opened the door. "Finally!" he said.

"You really need to learn to have some patience," the petite girl commented.

He shrugged, "Whatever. Let's go."

Ray looked at Zarine as she came out with Tyson, hoping she'd talk to him or just look at him. She looked up and for a split second, their eyes met, but Zarine quickly averted her eyes. In that fraction of a second, Ray glimpsed all of her sorrow. The fact that he had hurt her so much cut him like a knife. He would give anything to go back in time and change the past.

All through dinner, Zarine tried to act normal, pretending to be getting over what happened in the afternoon, so her friends and her brother wouldn't worry. But in reality, her heart was still crying over it.

When they were eating desert, Max questioned in a serious tone, "Zarine, you're fine right?"

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I be?" she replied, sounding falsely cheerful.

They all looked at her. It wasn't as if they didn't know the reason. Will wondered why she was putting on an act. It was so obvious that she was acting to be okay, at least it was obvious to him. Ray's ears burned with shame, he was the one to blame.

On the way back, Zarine looked pleadingly at her brother and asked, "Will, can I please stay in your room?"

"Sure," he answered.

Zarine breathed out a sigh of relieve. She didn't know how to face Ray right now. She didn't want to face him yet. What happened was still hurt too much.

"I'll go get my stuff," she said to her brother in the hallway just outside his room.

While she was gathering her belongings, Ray came in. He stopped short when he saw her packing her things.

Avoiding his eyes, she told him quietly, "I'm going to stay with Will."

"But...but...why?" he asked. She couldn't be leaving, she couldn't be!

Her gaze turned on him and answered softly, "Because...I know I'm not wanted in here." She stood up and picked up her bag. She walked out, but she turned back to look at him once before closing the door behind her.

To Ray, the sound of the door closing seemed like it meant that she wasn't going to go back to him, ever. Why would she? She has her brother now. He felt despair fill him.

'Don't give up,' Driger told him. 'You haven't even tried to make up with her yet.'

'You're right,' Ray said to his loyal companion. 'I have caused her so much pain. I have to make it up to her and get her back...somehow.'

Zarine went into the room that she was sharing with her brother. Tyson had invited her to play blackjack with him, Max, Kai, Kenny, and Will, but she refused, saying she was too tired. In truth, she just wanted some time to herself to try and figure out what went wrong that day. She got changed into baby pink PJs. Folding her clothes, she felt something in the pocket of her shorts. She reached into the pocket and took out that thing. It was the pendant she was going to give Ray.

Running her fingers over their initials, the silver haired girl sighed. She supposed she would never give him that now. She remembered the shopping trip with Mariam the day before. Who could have known things would turn out like this?

She put it away and took out her locket. It was the most precious things she owned, apart from her beyblade. She opened it and smiled faintly when she saw her parents' happy faces. Zarine wondered why their lives had to be taken away. They were good parents, hard workers, and law abiding citizens. There was no reason for them to die like that. Her life should have been taken, not theirs. It was her fault. She should've listened to Jordan. But then again, if she had she would've never met Ray and the Bladebreakers. She would probably have helped the Dark Force steal their bit-beasts away by now.

Her brother came into the room. "Hey, what are you thinking about?' he asked, looking at her thoughtful face.

"You don't hate me, right?" the question popped out of Zarine's mouth.

His eyes widened at her question. "Of course not! Why would I?"

She cast her eyes down and replied, "Because I got Mommy and Daddy killed."

He went over to her and hugged her. "Don't be silly. It wasn't your fault that those jerks wanted you so badly."

"You'll always be here right?" she asked.

"Always," he promised. Holding his sister at arms length, he asked, "Now what's up with these silly questions?"

"I don't want to lose you too," she said. "Our parents are gone. And...and..." it was difficult to finish her sentence. It hurt too much, but she still forced herself to do it. Might as well as get used to it now. "...Ray hates me..."

They were silent for a while. Then Zarine asked, "Will, do you think things would have been different if I had realized my mistake sooner?'

"What mistake?" Will asked blankly.

"Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much time with you. Maybe I should have talked to him and paid more attention to him. Maybe—" Will covered her mouth, cutting her off.

"It wasn't your fault that all of this happened," he said firmly. "You didn't know."

"Well, if only I hadn't gotten mad at him. If only I realized my feelings for him sooner. If only..." she trailed off. There were so many 'maybes' and 'ifs'. The more she thought about it, the more she's convinced that she was responsible for all of it.

Will ordered, "Stop thinking about it. You're being irrational. Go to sleep, we'll talk more about it in the morning."

His sister nodded, but doubts still filled her heart. She climbed into bed, and closed her eyes. Will was worried. Zarine had never been like this. She was always ready to smile for him. Looking at her, he sighed. She had changed. One look at her eyes had told him that. They used to sparkle with happiness and mischief. Now he could only see worry and doubt. He wanted to do something about it.

The argument was played over and over again in Zarine's mind. She couldn't get the images out of her head. She could see Ray's angry face so clearly. She felt her brother getting into the bed beside her. It reminded her o the times she had slept with Ray's arms around her. It had made her feel so...safe... She wished she was in his arms, but deep down, she knew it would never happen again.

Suddenly, she felt Xeora's presence, embracing her, comforting her.

'Everything will work out in time,' Xeora's soothing voice said. 'Now go to sleep, you need it.'

'Okay,' Zarine said obediently, feeling a bit better.

Ray's POV

I tossed and turned. I scowled in the dark. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall asleep. I missed Zarine a lot, even though she was only two rooms away. I missed listening to her even breathing. I longed for her presence, the sweet scent of her hair. I yearned to hold her, kiss her, or even just be with her. It was driving me crazy! I had never wanted anyone or anything so much.

The next morning, I woke up early and left. I made my way to the subway. I got a compartment all to myself since it was so early. When the recorded voice announced my stop, I got off. Blinking in the bright sunlight, I looked for street signs that would tell me exactly where I was. I found the right street and walked along it until I turned off to an alley that led to the unattractive side of town.

I reached at a seedy looking house. At first I thought I had came to the wrong place. That house looked half abandoned. It needed to be repainted and vines were crawling their way up. Obviously, this house had seen better days. There was a sign on the front door. It read, "Han's Hand-made Jewelry Factory."

I knocked on the door several times and waited for someone to answer. The door opened and a man in his middle years appeared. He was a tall, heavy set man with black hair.

"Hey, Han!" I greeted.

"Hi, Ray," Han said gruffly before pulling me into a bear hug. "Come on in, Rosaline will be happy to see you."

I followed Han into the house. The inside looked the complete opposite of the outside. It was beautifully furnished with paintings, tapestries and sculptures. He led me upstairs to the kitchen.

"Rosaline! Guess who showed up out of the blue?" Han called to his wife.

A plump woman, who was busy by the stove asked, "Who?" Her attention was still on the pot she was stirring. She had a black apron on, and her hair was in a bun to keep it away from her face.

"It's me," I said.

She turned around with a cry. "Ray!" she exclaimed and gave me a warm hug.

"You've grown so much," she gushed. "Did you had breakfast yet?"

"No," I replied.

"You must be hungry," Rosaline said. She went and got porridge for her guest.

"Thanks," I said, gratefully accepting the porridge.

"So how is the village doing?" Han asked.

"They're fine, last time I was there that is. If anything went wrong, Lee would have told me," I answered. "How are you doing?"

"We're fine. Business is blooming. The workers are barely able to satisfy the demands. What brought you here so early in the morning?" the man asked curiously. "You want to buy one of our products?"

"Not quite," I replied. "Actually, I was wondering if you would let me make something here. I would pay for the things that I use."

"Nonsense," Rosaline said. "You can use anything you like here. We did come from the same village."

The workers hardly glanced at me when he went downstairs. I wondered what color it should be. I knew Zarine's favorite color is blue, but she already had so many things that are blue. Talk about obsessions! That girl carried it to the extreme. Sometimes I thought that her main purposes in life is to own everything blue and to eat as much ice cream as she can while she's still alive. It was a wonder she is still so slim with all the ice cream she consumes.

Back to what's important. I looked at all the colors on the table. Should I make it red? I looked thoughtfully at the different shades of red. I half made up my mind to make it red when I spotted a color that looked horribly like blood. Zarine probably wouldn't like something that would constantly remind her of blood. What about pink? That would go well with her hair and clothes. Now what shade of pink? I groaned as my eyes landed onto the many shades of pink that were laid before my very eyes.
I know I took a long time with this, considering it not very long. Forgive me! I was reading a book. I was reading The Fires of Heaven, fifth book of the Wheel of Time. I leave it at school so it would take me longer to read it. I'm crazy about those books, so I can finish them in about a week if I read it at home. It's kind of scary considering they are about 1000 pages long.

Thanks people, for not biting my head off when you reviewed my last chapter!