Here goes:
The Gryffindor Oracle 2003
By: Seamus Finnagin
One fine day in Muggle Studies, I came across a very intresting subject: Muggle Music. Muggle Music mostly consists of what is commonly reffered to as 'pop', 'rock and role', 'country', and 'wrap. Muggle music is very intruging, as it is much different from that of wizard's. Muggles use no means of magic to help them, and can still belt a wonderful toon. Here are some of the best examples:
The Backstreet Boys- Great voice and tight butts. ;)
Avril Lavinge- So many people say that she's pop, so she must be good. M&M- I can barley understand him he's so good!
You can listen to these wonderful musicicans by using spells such as 'Kazaa', 'Morefeus', and 'LymeWyre', though these spells have not worked for me.
Two-part interview with Katie Bell
Oliver Wood, former captain of the Gryffindor team, current keeper for the Chuddley Cannons, and model for PlayWitch-Magazine took some time to talk to me about his wonderful life.
Oliver Wood: Oy, it's my pleasure.
KB: How have you been since you left Hogwarts?
OW: Great. As soon as I left I had dozens of Quidditch Scouts on me, and papparizis soon followed. Before I knew it I was posing naked for magazines!
KB: *coughs* Um, do you have any samples?
OW: Sure. *slides a paper to me*
KB: mmmm... So anyway, what is Pro Quidditch like?
OW: It's tough. People are always bouncing the quaffle off the walls and flying straight through the hoops.
KB: Wow, sounds tough. Well, that's all the time we have today. See you next time when we interview House Head, Minerva McGonnagall! *gazes at pictures*
A/N: Post questions for Minerva in the reviews
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With the Weasly Twins
SHUUUT UUPP! I know that everybody reading this has somebody that they wish would just QUIT TALKING and BE QUIET. Like Draco Malfoy, or Ernie Macmillan for instance. This spell is gaurenteed to make the victum shut up, listen, and forget what they were talking about. Look!
Tester: Angelina Johnson Victim: Hannah Abbot
Hannah is blabbing to Angel how Hufflepuff is going to win the House Cup this year. Angel, a devoted lion, is engraged and points her wand at Hannah. "Hushius, Youish." Hannah immediatley shuts her mouth and walks away.
Hushius Youish is the spell for today, what will we think of next?
Advice from the One and Only, Lee Jordan
Q: Lee, why are you so perfect? How do you do it?
-4th Year
A: Well, I am perfect, aren't I? Meet me in dorm #9 tonight...
Q: I think my girlfriend is about to break up with me. What should I do?
-Harry Potter, 5th Year
A: Harry, I think Cho is a good girl for you, but isn't ready for a relationship. Respect her wishes dude.
Q: Did you actually just answer seriously??
-Harry
A: Well ye- wait a second... how'd you know? HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE TWICE!??!
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Nothing special today, but watch next week for the 104th issue where I'll give you 104 reasons (minus 90) reasons that inter-house dating is WRONG.
Rumored Break-Ups:
Hermione Granger - > Harry Potter
Crushes:
Draco Malfoy - > Parvati Patill
Harry Potter - > Lavendar Brown (*blushes*)
Lee Jordan - > Angel[ina] Johnson
Dating:
Madame Olyimpe - > Reubeus Hagrid
Fred Weasly - > Katie Bell
SNOG Session!:
Seamus Finnagin - > Draco Malfoy (Malfoy?)
Dean Thomas - > Ginny Weasly
Emilia Brown (my little sis!) - > Colin Creevy
Prof. Binns - > Moaning Myrtle (they're engaged!!! Awww!)
A/N: No Lioness today, she's on vacation. =) R&R please!