A/N: Yes, I know that "Silencio" is the silence charm. -- But that makes
you silent, "Hushius Youish", makes you forget you were talking and want to
listen. Without further ado...
The Gryffindor Oracle 2004
Issue 103
What's Hot and What's Not with Seamus Finnigan
What's the hottest new craze to sweep Hogwarts? Well it's obviously not Mandrakes! Yes kids, Professer Sprout has been harvesting these babies (pun intented) for a few days now, after recent potion explosions with The-Evil- One (Snape) left Neville Longbottom and Lavendar Brown unconcious. When asked to comment, Snape hastily snapped, "It's not my fault Longbottom can't conjure a simple Unicorn Wound Remedy. And if Ms. Lavendar can't stand to get her nails wet by dropping in a bat wing, nobody should be looking at me." Your Trendsetting Columnist searched for more answers to why the headache-invoking Mandrakes are being grown and found a gold mine in Professer Sprout. It seems the Mandrakes have been put in special soundproof cells yet screams still submerge from the walls. When Longbottom and Brown are revived, Minerva McGonagal is expected to question them each after reports by many Gryffindor students claim, "Snape 'mistakenly' pushed them each in to their cauldrons in an angry storm through the room."
And that's what's not hot this week. ----- Oliver Wood: The Hogwarts Quidditch Legend Part Two with Katie Bell
Katie Bell, editor-in-chief of The Oracle, sat down once more with Qudditch superstar Oliver Wood to discuss a bit more about his life.
Katie Bell: Hi Olliver, thanks for talking with me again today. Oliver Wood: Actually, Katie, you can call me Ollie. KB: [blushes] Alright... er... Ollie. OW: So... KB: Oh, right! So tell me, how's your love life been? OW: Well, recently, I broke up with (Weird Sister) Becca Jose- KB: Ollie, I'm so so- OW: -but now I'm dating my captain Ella McBeck. KB: [sighs] So you're not available... I'm sure thousands of girls are sad to see that. OW: [laughs] KB: Well, that's all the time we have today! Join us next week when we interview house head Minerva McGonnagal! ----- Spell of the Week with the Weasly Twins
Hair potions not working? Muggle products too much of a mess? Need a great hairdo for your date with one of us? wink Then the spell for you is "Showdia". Proffeser McGonnagal invented Showdia in her younger years to help fix hair at her Diagon Alley salon "Showdye". Just say Showdia and the name of the hairstyle you want, point your wand at your hair, and POOF! There it is! Let's check out our... ahem... Unsuspecting test subject. Fred Weasly is hiding behind a corner in the Boys Dormitory. Harry Potter sits on his bead reading a book. Fred emerges, points the wand at Harry, and whispers "Showdia Mohawk". The wand flys from Fred's hand and begins to work it's magic around Harry's head, creating a cloud of hair surrounding him. When the wand returns to Fred's hand, Harry looks up with a black spiked mohawk sitting atop his head.
Showdia is the spell for today, what will we think of next? ----- Ask Lee Advice from the One and Only, Lee Jordan
Q: Yo Jordan, I need to know: What are the magical properties of moonshine? Colin Creevy, 4th year student
A: Potions? Screw it! You don't need to know potions! Lee Jordan --- Q: Any info on the potions scandal? Did Snape really push 'em in? Intrested Student
A: I do not have any information on a bribe that may or may not have occurred between me and Severus keeping me from answering your question. --- Q: I've been watching some muggle movies, just for fun, and my grandmother has sent me a new kind. How do you play a DVD? Mangled with Muggles
A: Well, you just might have to play a DVD with a DVD Player! gasp Ya think? Lee Jordan ----- The Lion's Roar with Emelia Brown
Unfortunatley, my sister Lavendar has been knocked out in a potions accident, so I will be filling in for this week's gossip column. This also means that the "14 Reasons that Inter-House Realtionships Are Wrong" segment has been put off. This time, I'm not gonna use Lavendar's stupid dating chart. Here goes: Emelia's Gossip Report: Harry Potter, the newest chick magnet at Hogwarts, has been spotted recently- with three different girls! Yes, it doesn't sound like Potter but's it true! Camile Ilaska was reportedly seen holding his hand after a recent Transfiguration test as they skipped down the hall. Then, just the next morning, he was caught kissing younger-woman Ginny Weasly on the cheek! (No word on what Ron Weasly has to say about this.) But most recently, Harry and Estella Voyda have been spotted out in Hogsmeade and flirt a lot in the castle. Other girls crushing on Harry include Lavendar Brown, Sally Fuegan, and even his enemy, Hufflepuff Hannah Abbot. Myrtle reportetly was cheerfully talking to Estella, when the ghost dropped Potter's name. Estella whispered to Myrtle about her crush on Harry, and Myrtle set them up, knowing of Harry's recent breakup with Cho. Latley Harry and Estella have been a very serious couple, although Estella admits, "We haven't kissed yet." Last week, when Professer Binns, the history-teaching ghost, popped the question to depressive Moaning Myrtle, Myrtle hasn't had anything to moan about! Moaning Myrtle, who will become Myrtle Binns this summer after school is out, has been excessivley happy and has even pranced outside of the girls' bathroom, singing and handing out Chocolate Frogs to all the students. In fact, she seems to be the matchmacker behind the new perfect couple, Harry Potter and Estella Voyda. After getting together almost two months ago, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly are still going strong. They were spotted cuddling at a Hufflepuff- Ravenclaw game as they talked and whispered in each other's ear. At a recent Gryffindor Common Room party, Hermione was sitting on his lap and they shared a public make-out session on the couch. -----
A Lioness Riddle with The Lioness
You're in a house with no windows, no door, just a mirror and a table. How do you escape? Answer next week.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Read and rate, please? Next week, we welcome The S.P.E.W Column, McGonagol, and an intresting Lioness. Sorry for taking so long to update!
listen. Without further ado...
The Gryffindor Oracle 2004
Issue 103
What's Hot and What's Not with Seamus Finnigan
What's the hottest new craze to sweep Hogwarts? Well it's obviously not Mandrakes! Yes kids, Professer Sprout has been harvesting these babies (pun intented) for a few days now, after recent potion explosions with The-Evil- One (Snape) left Neville Longbottom and Lavendar Brown unconcious. When asked to comment, Snape hastily snapped, "It's not my fault Longbottom can't conjure a simple Unicorn Wound Remedy. And if Ms. Lavendar can't stand to get her nails wet by dropping in a bat wing, nobody should be looking at me." Your Trendsetting Columnist searched for more answers to why the headache-invoking Mandrakes are being grown and found a gold mine in Professer Sprout. It seems the Mandrakes have been put in special soundproof cells yet screams still submerge from the walls. When Longbottom and Brown are revived, Minerva McGonagal is expected to question them each after reports by many Gryffindor students claim, "Snape 'mistakenly' pushed them each in to their cauldrons in an angry storm through the room."
And that's what's not hot this week. ----- Oliver Wood: The Hogwarts Quidditch Legend Part Two with Katie Bell
Katie Bell, editor-in-chief of The Oracle, sat down once more with Qudditch superstar Oliver Wood to discuss a bit more about his life.
Katie Bell: Hi Olliver, thanks for talking with me again today. Oliver Wood: Actually, Katie, you can call me Ollie. KB: [blushes] Alright... er... Ollie. OW: So... KB: Oh, right! So tell me, how's your love life been? OW: Well, recently, I broke up with (Weird Sister) Becca Jose- KB: Ollie, I'm so so- OW: -but now I'm dating my captain Ella McBeck. KB: [sighs] So you're not available... I'm sure thousands of girls are sad to see that. OW: [laughs] KB: Well, that's all the time we have today! Join us next week when we interview house head Minerva McGonnagal! ----- Spell of the Week with the Weasly Twins
Hair potions not working? Muggle products too much of a mess? Need a great hairdo for your date with one of us? wink Then the spell for you is "Showdia". Proffeser McGonnagal invented Showdia in her younger years to help fix hair at her Diagon Alley salon "Showdye". Just say Showdia and the name of the hairstyle you want, point your wand at your hair, and POOF! There it is! Let's check out our... ahem... Unsuspecting test subject. Fred Weasly is hiding behind a corner in the Boys Dormitory. Harry Potter sits on his bead reading a book. Fred emerges, points the wand at Harry, and whispers "Showdia Mohawk". The wand flys from Fred's hand and begins to work it's magic around Harry's head, creating a cloud of hair surrounding him. When the wand returns to Fred's hand, Harry looks up with a black spiked mohawk sitting atop his head.
Showdia is the spell for today, what will we think of next? ----- Ask Lee Advice from the One and Only, Lee Jordan
Q: Yo Jordan, I need to know: What are the magical properties of moonshine? Colin Creevy, 4th year student
A: Potions? Screw it! You don't need to know potions! Lee Jordan --- Q: Any info on the potions scandal? Did Snape really push 'em in? Intrested Student
A: I do not have any information on a bribe that may or may not have occurred between me and Severus keeping me from answering your question. --- Q: I've been watching some muggle movies, just for fun, and my grandmother has sent me a new kind. How do you play a DVD? Mangled with Muggles
A: Well, you just might have to play a DVD with a DVD Player! gasp Ya think? Lee Jordan ----- The Lion's Roar with Emelia Brown
Unfortunatley, my sister Lavendar has been knocked out in a potions accident, so I will be filling in for this week's gossip column. This also means that the "14 Reasons that Inter-House Realtionships Are Wrong" segment has been put off. This time, I'm not gonna use Lavendar's stupid dating chart. Here goes: Emelia's Gossip Report: Harry Potter, the newest chick magnet at Hogwarts, has been spotted recently- with three different girls! Yes, it doesn't sound like Potter but's it true! Camile Ilaska was reportedly seen holding his hand after a recent Transfiguration test as they skipped down the hall. Then, just the next morning, he was caught kissing younger-woman Ginny Weasly on the cheek! (No word on what Ron Weasly has to say about this.) But most recently, Harry and Estella Voyda have been spotted out in Hogsmeade and flirt a lot in the castle. Other girls crushing on Harry include Lavendar Brown, Sally Fuegan, and even his enemy, Hufflepuff Hannah Abbot. Myrtle reportetly was cheerfully talking to Estella, when the ghost dropped Potter's name. Estella whispered to Myrtle about her crush on Harry, and Myrtle set them up, knowing of Harry's recent breakup with Cho. Latley Harry and Estella have been a very serious couple, although Estella admits, "We haven't kissed yet." Last week, when Professer Binns, the history-teaching ghost, popped the question to depressive Moaning Myrtle, Myrtle hasn't had anything to moan about! Moaning Myrtle, who will become Myrtle Binns this summer after school is out, has been excessivley happy and has even pranced outside of the girls' bathroom, singing and handing out Chocolate Frogs to all the students. In fact, she seems to be the matchmacker behind the new perfect couple, Harry Potter and Estella Voyda. After getting together almost two months ago, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasly are still going strong. They were spotted cuddling at a Hufflepuff- Ravenclaw game as they talked and whispered in each other's ear. At a recent Gryffindor Common Room party, Hermione was sitting on his lap and they shared a public make-out session on the couch. -----
A Lioness Riddle with The Lioness
You're in a house with no windows, no door, just a mirror and a table. How do you escape? Answer next week.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Read and rate, please? Next week, we welcome The S.P.E.W Column, McGonagol, and an intresting Lioness. Sorry for taking so long to update!