Chapter Two
By evening, the Fellowship had successfully built a cage. It was six and a half feet high, and two feet wide on either side. A rope was tied to the top, and the loop over a convenient tree limb, and then under another branch, and the tied to a third branch. The idea was that Boromir would scale the tree, and wait for the girl, drawn by Legolas, to stand directly under the cage, then he would untie the knot, and let it drop.
"Now what?" Sam asked.
"We wait for one of them to come." Aragorn replied.
"Undoubtably soon." Legolas acknowledged bitterly.
"Our sympathies, friend." Boromir added apologetically, covering his mouth to hide a smirk. Aragorn built a fire, and the fellowship gathered around it, and ate their dinner.
As darkness fell, their guard was lessened, and the Hobbits and Gimli went to sleep. Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir, however, remained awake, and talked softly about the road.
A rosy glow climbed from the east, and the three looked startled at the horizon.
" 'Tis midnight!" Legolas exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice down.
"There is something evil afoot." Aragorn muttered, "Boromir, ascend the tree, this may be the sorcery of one of them."
Without a word, Boromir hurried up the tree out of sight from unexpecting eyes. Frodo, who had been awakened by Legolas's cry, asked what was wrong.
"Wake the others, and find a place to hide." Aragorn hissed. Frodo did just that, and as Merry, who was the last to be woken, had hid himself with the others in a bush, a figure revealed herself from the shadows.
"What a lovely morning!" She cried, and then looked around. Aragorn was watching her like a hawk, and her stereotypically large eyes widened.
"My lord." She cooed, bowing. Then her eyes rested on the only other person visible. Legolas winced as their eyes connected.
"God is great," She began, "God is just, let us thank him for Legolas."
The lameness of the rhyme caught the Elf off guard momentarily, but then he remembered his task.
He stood up from his relaxed sitting, and started, "Good morning, fair damsel."
The young woman preened, and flipped her typically flowing long hair, and took a few steps closer.
"Strange is the hour that the sun decides to warm us." Legolas commented, unsure of what to do next. His eyes flitted briefly to the cage suspended above him.
She nodded, and advanced on him. Legolas was suddenly seized by a panic attack, but tried to hide it from his face.
"Come closer." He found himself saying.
"I was going to." She replied, sidling up to him. Legolas's eyes darted around. He had the urge to start running and not stop until he was back safe in Mirkwood.
He regained his composure somewhat, because the girl was looking curiously up at him, batting her eyes sweetly.
"Stand there." The Elf ordered. Willingly, the girl moved to his bidding, "What for?"
"I... wish to view your beauty from afar." Legolas finished. Grinning triumphantly, the teenager nodded, and Legolas backed away. No sooner had he done so, then there was a soft sound of rope brushing against wood, a thump, and an indignant shriek.
Aragorn pounced on the cage, holding it down. The young woman was trying to heave it up off of her, but Gimli had also rushed out, and was gripping it on the other side. Had the author of this particular Mary-Sue story given the girl strength at all, she might have budged the cage a bit. However, this Mary-Sue was supposed to be weak and helpless, needing the help of a man, or Elf, for that matter, to aid her in any slightly hard labor.
Boromir swung down to the ground, and the Hobbits also came out of secrecy.
"What is this?!" She demanded.
"You have been caught." Pippin said aggressivley, as though the whole plan was his.
"So not fair!" She yelled, shaking the cage.
"You speak as though you understand what true injustice is." Aragorn spat. The girl quieted down, and glared at him, "Fine, what is your definition of it?" She replied.
"It is unfair that Middle Earth is jeopardized by the existence of a ring." Frodo snarled.
"And that we have so much to do, and so far to travel, and still we must be plagued by silly schrieking girls." Boromir added.
"What do you want me to do about it?" The girl countered.
"Leave." Gimli growled.
"Like I know how." After a pause, she changed tack faster than Pippin could screw something up, "I'm trapped in this world. You think I want to be here? I'd rather be back at my house in Florida. You tell me how to leave, and I'll go."
Swifter than the wind, Boromir had unsheathed his sword, and was holding it against her long white neck.
"Fine!" She screamed, and with a glare at Boromir, she clutched at a necklace around her neck, mumbled a few things, and then disappeared.
"That's that." Aragorn concluded. The sun, which had just climbed from the horizon, dipped back down, and the world plunged back into night.
Boromir pulled the rope down from the tree, and patted the cage, " 'Twas a good strategy. You did your part well, Legolas."
Silence answered his remark. The seven turned around to see the Elf standing off to the side, tugging anxiously at his braid while he muttered something in Elvish.
"What ails you?" Aragorn asked. Legolas jerked, his eyes wide, but said nothing.
"You should get rest." Aragorn directed to the Hobbits, but his mind still puzzled over the Elf.
.
In the morning, the Fellowship continued on their way. Boromir had strapped the cage to his back, and if the Felloship had been an odd-looking company before, now they were down-right peculiar. (A/N: I should have liked to use the adjective queer, but since my evil generation has twisted the meaning of that word, I am forced to use peculiar as a substitution.)
Legolas had not uttered a word since the night before, but focused on the ground. Every so often, Frodo reckoned he heard an Elvish prayer for mercy and sanctuary escape from Legolas's lips, but he wasn't sure if it was the Elf, or merely the wind.
At noon, when Pippin requested a break for the third time, the company stopped. Small rations of food went round, and everyone was relaxed.
Too relaxed, it seemed.
Out from behind a tree tumbled two girls, both giggling and talking incessantly.
The fellowship moved as one. The Hobbits and Gimli rushed out of sight, while Boromir unstrapped the caged, and dodged from view, leaving Aragorn and a wimpering Legolas to face the undesirable duo.
The two girls jumped to their feet. Both were less than twenty, but older than fifteen. One had long red hair, and the other had short blonde hair. Both, of course, possessed large rapidly blinking eyes.
"Oh. my. God." The one with red hair began, "Stacie, I think we're in Middle Earth!"
Both shrieked. Aragorn felt Legolas cringe beside him.
"Yo, Aragorn." The blonde one started, giggling still. "Where's your short friend with the dreamy blue eyes?"
"Frodo?" Aragron asked. Legolas relaxed noticably.
"What business do you have with Frodo?" Aragorn demanded. "What business do we have with Frodo?!" Both repeated, looking, as meaningful as their brains would allow, at each other.
"A make-out session, I believe." The blonde girl replied. The other girl rolled her eyes, "She wants Elijah Wood. I'll have that fine pointy-eared treat behind you."
Legolas recoiled with horror and disgust. The girl, obviously misinterpreting him, winked. Legolas felt his eye twitch, took a step back.
"You feel as if you can just select one of us?" Aragorn asked softly, but dangerously.
"Well, duh. This is MY story." The blonde retorted. Faster than the auburn could wink suggestively at Legolas, Aragorn was holding Anduril against the blonde's throat.
"Nay, m'lady, I think not." He whispered threateningly. Both girls made a squeaking sound. The girl with red hair tugged at her friend's sleeve.
"C'mon, lets go. Maybe we can get into the Faculty, and you can have Elijah Wood there, and I can have Ben Afleck or something."
"K." The blonde bleated.
"Leave now, and never come back." Aragorn finished, unknowingly quoting a character he would never see.
Aragorn sheathed his sword again, and the two scuttled off. Legolas collapsed in a nervous heap, shutting his eyes tight to stop the fluttering.
"We didn't even need the cage." Boromir stated rather disappointedly as he came back into view.
"Is there no way to stop them?" Frodo asked desperately. He himself had been fearful after hearing what the blonde had said.
"We must find a way." Aragorn replied resolutely, glancing at the crumpled heap that was Legolas.
"Perhaps one of these Elves can help us." Gimli grunted. The seven others jerked, and looked up. So wrapped up in their problems, they failed to notice the two dozen blonde Elves all aiming arrows at them.
.
That evening was spent in Lorien. Nothing eventful happened, unless you count the meeting with Galadriel and the phased Celeborn.
Legolas sat on a flet with Haldir and a young blonde Elf by the name of Galawe. He had just finished telling the two of his trials and great misfortune. To his astonishment, Haldir informed him that he was not alone in his strife.
"Ai, mellon," Haldir began, "Twice have I been plagued by beautiful and mysterious young women."
"What did you do?" Legolas demanded.
"I sent them both down the Anduin in faulty boats." Haldir snickered.
" 'Twas my idea." Galawe interjected, "Don't look at me like that, Legolas, they might not have died."
"We turned them away, surely," Legolas replied defensively, "but send them to their death?"
"You didn't see the way they acted and dressed." Haldir responded. Legolas shuddered, "I can only too well imagine."
"Legs bare to the thigh?" Galawe commented, making a face, "It was as if they wore nothing at all."
"Shameless." The three exhaled together, shaking their heads.
.
Meanwhile, the rest of the fellowship sat at the roots of one of the great Mallorn trees. Gimli sat off to the side, muttering to himself about arrogant Elves, and other irrelevent problems of his.
Aragorn and Boromir rested quietly by the four talkative hobbits, watching in amusement as Sam tried to enlighten Merry on why one couldn't plant carrots next to a grapevine.
"I still don't understand." Merry sighed. Sam inhaled deeply, and responded, "The carrots grow in the ground-"
"Well we know tha'." Pippin interrupted. Sam scowled, and continued, "-in the ground, and leave the earth around them soaked with carrot stuff."
"And how do you know that, Sam?" Frodo laughed, "Did you eat the dirt?"
"When I was a little one." Sam reddened. Aragorn bit back a chuckle, and Sam finished, "But you see, if you plant grapeseeds by carrots, your grapes end up tasting a bit like carrots."
"But it's combining two of my favorite foods!" Merry exclaimed.
"Do you really want to drink carrot-wine, though?" Sam persisted. The three quieted down, and looked thoughtfully at each other. Sam grinned in triumph.
Pippin opened his mouth to speak, but as he did so, a choir of erie sounding voices wafted down to them. "What is that?" Merry asked, scrambling to his feet.
"They sing of Mithrandir." Replied a voice. The seven turned to see Legolas, looking more relaxed than they had seen him for a good long time.
"What do they say?" Frodo inquired, also rising to his feet. Legolas was silent for a moment, then looked uncomfortable.
"They sing in an ancient language. I cannot tell." He admitted.
The eight sat in silence for awhile, listening to the song, until Aragorn advised everyone to get some rest.
.
"There is a way." Galadriel began slowly, looking ethereally into Aragorn's eyes. The ranger bent low on one knee, with his head bowed, "I beseech you, my Lady, to tell me of the method."
The Elf smiled as she tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear, "Very well, Elessar. Legolas is the root of your problems-"
Aragorn's head snapped back up, and he interupted hastily, "The fault is not his."
Furrowing her eyebrows, Galadriel continued, "Yet he is the cause of all your problems. He must go, with no other at his side, to the ruins of Malir Sul, and shed a drop of blood for every woman you were plagued by. Then he must kneel with his eyes on the ground, head bent, and wait for the sign."
"And what is that, Lady?" Aragorn inquired.
"He will know it when he sees it."
"How do you know all this?"
Galadriel paused, drawing herself, "The mirror shows many things." She replied simply; not quite the dramatically climactic answer Aragorn was expecting.
"I thank you, Lady, I am forever in your debt." The ranger bowed, and left.
As she heard his footsteps fade away into the distance, Galadriel heaved an un-Elven like sigh, and glanced at the attendant standing in the corner.
"Alright Jess, you can change." She hissed. The attendant smiled, and her features began to meld and morph to reveal the features of a young woman with flowing blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
Galadriel herself had changed to a short and slender woman with large doey eyes and tanned skin.
"Mandy, you were so perfect!" Jess squealed. Mandy, plucking at the Galadriel veil she still wore, grinned, "This is turning out so cool. We'll get Legolas alone, at the heart of the Mary Sue portal. That sexy Elf will never know what hit him."
"You're so brilliant." Jess gushed with admiration.
"What can I say?" Mandy began, "I knew this morphing power would work out. Now we have to beat it, before Galadriel comes back from her lunch-thing with Haldir. Hey," she began, turning to her friend, "Do you think they're having an affair?"
"Duh," Jess laughed, "I mean, Haldir's soo much hotter than Celeborn."
"But even he can't compare with Legolas." Mandy countered. Both girls exhaling dreamily, they hurried to where their backpacks were hidden, and began on their way to the ruins of Malir Sul.
Meanwhile, Aragorn was informing of Legolas about the task before him, neither of the two possibly expecting the cruel trap that lay ahead....
---------------------------
Scorpionfish: You and someone else mentioned the reference, and I've been trying to edit it, but my Mac is being tempermental...
Daniella L'orange: Interesting name... Poor Legolas indeed. Just wait, it will get worse...
Hobbit-eyes: Nifty name. I'm just imagining a pair of eyes sending me a review... Wearing the hair tied back: I do that alot too, in a vent of frustration, but it just makes me more annoyed that I've messed up my hair. Not that I'm a hair pysco or anything...
Alan Bates: LEt the fellowship keep their dignity...If only all authors on fanfiction could do such a thing...
Elven-Star-of-Gold: I don't think I'll go killing of any Mary Sues, unless her purpose in her fic was to depress the fellowship. I'll leave the homocide to Haldir.
By evening, the Fellowship had successfully built a cage. It was six and a half feet high, and two feet wide on either side. A rope was tied to the top, and the loop over a convenient tree limb, and then under another branch, and the tied to a third branch. The idea was that Boromir would scale the tree, and wait for the girl, drawn by Legolas, to stand directly under the cage, then he would untie the knot, and let it drop.
"Now what?" Sam asked.
"We wait for one of them to come." Aragorn replied.
"Undoubtably soon." Legolas acknowledged bitterly.
"Our sympathies, friend." Boromir added apologetically, covering his mouth to hide a smirk. Aragorn built a fire, and the fellowship gathered around it, and ate their dinner.
As darkness fell, their guard was lessened, and the Hobbits and Gimli went to sleep. Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir, however, remained awake, and talked softly about the road.
A rosy glow climbed from the east, and the three looked startled at the horizon.
" 'Tis midnight!" Legolas exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice down.
"There is something evil afoot." Aragorn muttered, "Boromir, ascend the tree, this may be the sorcery of one of them."
Without a word, Boromir hurried up the tree out of sight from unexpecting eyes. Frodo, who had been awakened by Legolas's cry, asked what was wrong.
"Wake the others, and find a place to hide." Aragorn hissed. Frodo did just that, and as Merry, who was the last to be woken, had hid himself with the others in a bush, a figure revealed herself from the shadows.
"What a lovely morning!" She cried, and then looked around. Aragorn was watching her like a hawk, and her stereotypically large eyes widened.
"My lord." She cooed, bowing. Then her eyes rested on the only other person visible. Legolas winced as their eyes connected.
"God is great," She began, "God is just, let us thank him for Legolas."
The lameness of the rhyme caught the Elf off guard momentarily, but then he remembered his task.
He stood up from his relaxed sitting, and started, "Good morning, fair damsel."
The young woman preened, and flipped her typically flowing long hair, and took a few steps closer.
"Strange is the hour that the sun decides to warm us." Legolas commented, unsure of what to do next. His eyes flitted briefly to the cage suspended above him.
She nodded, and advanced on him. Legolas was suddenly seized by a panic attack, but tried to hide it from his face.
"Come closer." He found himself saying.
"I was going to." She replied, sidling up to him. Legolas's eyes darted around. He had the urge to start running and not stop until he was back safe in Mirkwood.
He regained his composure somewhat, because the girl was looking curiously up at him, batting her eyes sweetly.
"Stand there." The Elf ordered. Willingly, the girl moved to his bidding, "What for?"
"I... wish to view your beauty from afar." Legolas finished. Grinning triumphantly, the teenager nodded, and Legolas backed away. No sooner had he done so, then there was a soft sound of rope brushing against wood, a thump, and an indignant shriek.
Aragorn pounced on the cage, holding it down. The young woman was trying to heave it up off of her, but Gimli had also rushed out, and was gripping it on the other side. Had the author of this particular Mary-Sue story given the girl strength at all, she might have budged the cage a bit. However, this Mary-Sue was supposed to be weak and helpless, needing the help of a man, or Elf, for that matter, to aid her in any slightly hard labor.
Boromir swung down to the ground, and the Hobbits also came out of secrecy.
"What is this?!" She demanded.
"You have been caught." Pippin said aggressivley, as though the whole plan was his.
"So not fair!" She yelled, shaking the cage.
"You speak as though you understand what true injustice is." Aragorn spat. The girl quieted down, and glared at him, "Fine, what is your definition of it?" She replied.
"It is unfair that Middle Earth is jeopardized by the existence of a ring." Frodo snarled.
"And that we have so much to do, and so far to travel, and still we must be plagued by silly schrieking girls." Boromir added.
"What do you want me to do about it?" The girl countered.
"Leave." Gimli growled.
"Like I know how." After a pause, she changed tack faster than Pippin could screw something up, "I'm trapped in this world. You think I want to be here? I'd rather be back at my house in Florida. You tell me how to leave, and I'll go."
Swifter than the wind, Boromir had unsheathed his sword, and was holding it against her long white neck.
"Fine!" She screamed, and with a glare at Boromir, she clutched at a necklace around her neck, mumbled a few things, and then disappeared.
"That's that." Aragorn concluded. The sun, which had just climbed from the horizon, dipped back down, and the world plunged back into night.
Boromir pulled the rope down from the tree, and patted the cage, " 'Twas a good strategy. You did your part well, Legolas."
Silence answered his remark. The seven turned around to see the Elf standing off to the side, tugging anxiously at his braid while he muttered something in Elvish.
"What ails you?" Aragorn asked. Legolas jerked, his eyes wide, but said nothing.
"You should get rest." Aragorn directed to the Hobbits, but his mind still puzzled over the Elf.
.
In the morning, the Fellowship continued on their way. Boromir had strapped the cage to his back, and if the Felloship had been an odd-looking company before, now they were down-right peculiar. (A/N: I should have liked to use the adjective queer, but since my evil generation has twisted the meaning of that word, I am forced to use peculiar as a substitution.)
Legolas had not uttered a word since the night before, but focused on the ground. Every so often, Frodo reckoned he heard an Elvish prayer for mercy and sanctuary escape from Legolas's lips, but he wasn't sure if it was the Elf, or merely the wind.
At noon, when Pippin requested a break for the third time, the company stopped. Small rations of food went round, and everyone was relaxed.
Too relaxed, it seemed.
Out from behind a tree tumbled two girls, both giggling and talking incessantly.
The fellowship moved as one. The Hobbits and Gimli rushed out of sight, while Boromir unstrapped the caged, and dodged from view, leaving Aragorn and a wimpering Legolas to face the undesirable duo.
The two girls jumped to their feet. Both were less than twenty, but older than fifteen. One had long red hair, and the other had short blonde hair. Both, of course, possessed large rapidly blinking eyes.
"Oh. my. God." The one with red hair began, "Stacie, I think we're in Middle Earth!"
Both shrieked. Aragorn felt Legolas cringe beside him.
"Yo, Aragorn." The blonde one started, giggling still. "Where's your short friend with the dreamy blue eyes?"
"Frodo?" Aragron asked. Legolas relaxed noticably.
"What business do you have with Frodo?" Aragorn demanded. "What business do we have with Frodo?!" Both repeated, looking, as meaningful as their brains would allow, at each other.
"A make-out session, I believe." The blonde girl replied. The other girl rolled her eyes, "She wants Elijah Wood. I'll have that fine pointy-eared treat behind you."
Legolas recoiled with horror and disgust. The girl, obviously misinterpreting him, winked. Legolas felt his eye twitch, took a step back.
"You feel as if you can just select one of us?" Aragorn asked softly, but dangerously.
"Well, duh. This is MY story." The blonde retorted. Faster than the auburn could wink suggestively at Legolas, Aragorn was holding Anduril against the blonde's throat.
"Nay, m'lady, I think not." He whispered threateningly. Both girls made a squeaking sound. The girl with red hair tugged at her friend's sleeve.
"C'mon, lets go. Maybe we can get into the Faculty, and you can have Elijah Wood there, and I can have Ben Afleck or something."
"K." The blonde bleated.
"Leave now, and never come back." Aragorn finished, unknowingly quoting a character he would never see.
Aragorn sheathed his sword again, and the two scuttled off. Legolas collapsed in a nervous heap, shutting his eyes tight to stop the fluttering.
"We didn't even need the cage." Boromir stated rather disappointedly as he came back into view.
"Is there no way to stop them?" Frodo asked desperately. He himself had been fearful after hearing what the blonde had said.
"We must find a way." Aragorn replied resolutely, glancing at the crumpled heap that was Legolas.
"Perhaps one of these Elves can help us." Gimli grunted. The seven others jerked, and looked up. So wrapped up in their problems, they failed to notice the two dozen blonde Elves all aiming arrows at them.
.
That evening was spent in Lorien. Nothing eventful happened, unless you count the meeting with Galadriel and the phased Celeborn.
Legolas sat on a flet with Haldir and a young blonde Elf by the name of Galawe. He had just finished telling the two of his trials and great misfortune. To his astonishment, Haldir informed him that he was not alone in his strife.
"Ai, mellon," Haldir began, "Twice have I been plagued by beautiful and mysterious young women."
"What did you do?" Legolas demanded.
"I sent them both down the Anduin in faulty boats." Haldir snickered.
" 'Twas my idea." Galawe interjected, "Don't look at me like that, Legolas, they might not have died."
"We turned them away, surely," Legolas replied defensively, "but send them to their death?"
"You didn't see the way they acted and dressed." Haldir responded. Legolas shuddered, "I can only too well imagine."
"Legs bare to the thigh?" Galawe commented, making a face, "It was as if they wore nothing at all."
"Shameless." The three exhaled together, shaking their heads.
.
Meanwhile, the rest of the fellowship sat at the roots of one of the great Mallorn trees. Gimli sat off to the side, muttering to himself about arrogant Elves, and other irrelevent problems of his.
Aragorn and Boromir rested quietly by the four talkative hobbits, watching in amusement as Sam tried to enlighten Merry on why one couldn't plant carrots next to a grapevine.
"I still don't understand." Merry sighed. Sam inhaled deeply, and responded, "The carrots grow in the ground-"
"Well we know tha'." Pippin interrupted. Sam scowled, and continued, "-in the ground, and leave the earth around them soaked with carrot stuff."
"And how do you know that, Sam?" Frodo laughed, "Did you eat the dirt?"
"When I was a little one." Sam reddened. Aragorn bit back a chuckle, and Sam finished, "But you see, if you plant grapeseeds by carrots, your grapes end up tasting a bit like carrots."
"But it's combining two of my favorite foods!" Merry exclaimed.
"Do you really want to drink carrot-wine, though?" Sam persisted. The three quieted down, and looked thoughtfully at each other. Sam grinned in triumph.
Pippin opened his mouth to speak, but as he did so, a choir of erie sounding voices wafted down to them. "What is that?" Merry asked, scrambling to his feet.
"They sing of Mithrandir." Replied a voice. The seven turned to see Legolas, looking more relaxed than they had seen him for a good long time.
"What do they say?" Frodo inquired, also rising to his feet. Legolas was silent for a moment, then looked uncomfortable.
"They sing in an ancient language. I cannot tell." He admitted.
The eight sat in silence for awhile, listening to the song, until Aragorn advised everyone to get some rest.
.
"There is a way." Galadriel began slowly, looking ethereally into Aragorn's eyes. The ranger bent low on one knee, with his head bowed, "I beseech you, my Lady, to tell me of the method."
The Elf smiled as she tucked a lock of golden hair behind her ear, "Very well, Elessar. Legolas is the root of your problems-"
Aragorn's head snapped back up, and he interupted hastily, "The fault is not his."
Furrowing her eyebrows, Galadriel continued, "Yet he is the cause of all your problems. He must go, with no other at his side, to the ruins of Malir Sul, and shed a drop of blood for every woman you were plagued by. Then he must kneel with his eyes on the ground, head bent, and wait for the sign."
"And what is that, Lady?" Aragorn inquired.
"He will know it when he sees it."
"How do you know all this?"
Galadriel paused, drawing herself, "The mirror shows many things." She replied simply; not quite the dramatically climactic answer Aragorn was expecting.
"I thank you, Lady, I am forever in your debt." The ranger bowed, and left.
As she heard his footsteps fade away into the distance, Galadriel heaved an un-Elven like sigh, and glanced at the attendant standing in the corner.
"Alright Jess, you can change." She hissed. The attendant smiled, and her features began to meld and morph to reveal the features of a young woman with flowing blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
Galadriel herself had changed to a short and slender woman with large doey eyes and tanned skin.
"Mandy, you were so perfect!" Jess squealed. Mandy, plucking at the Galadriel veil she still wore, grinned, "This is turning out so cool. We'll get Legolas alone, at the heart of the Mary Sue portal. That sexy Elf will never know what hit him."
"You're so brilliant." Jess gushed with admiration.
"What can I say?" Mandy began, "I knew this morphing power would work out. Now we have to beat it, before Galadriel comes back from her lunch-thing with Haldir. Hey," she began, turning to her friend, "Do you think they're having an affair?"
"Duh," Jess laughed, "I mean, Haldir's soo much hotter than Celeborn."
"But even he can't compare with Legolas." Mandy countered. Both girls exhaling dreamily, they hurried to where their backpacks were hidden, and began on their way to the ruins of Malir Sul.
Meanwhile, Aragorn was informing of Legolas about the task before him, neither of the two possibly expecting the cruel trap that lay ahead....
---------------------------
Scorpionfish: You and someone else mentioned the reference, and I've been trying to edit it, but my Mac is being tempermental...
Daniella L'orange: Interesting name... Poor Legolas indeed. Just wait, it will get worse...
Hobbit-eyes: Nifty name. I'm just imagining a pair of eyes sending me a review... Wearing the hair tied back: I do that alot too, in a vent of frustration, but it just makes me more annoyed that I've messed up my hair. Not that I'm a hair pysco or anything...
Alan Bates: LEt the fellowship keep their dignity...If only all authors on fanfiction could do such a thing...
Elven-Star-of-Gold: I don't think I'll go killing of any Mary Sues, unless her purpose in her fic was to depress the fellowship. I'll leave the homocide to Haldir.