A/n: sorry this took so long! OMG This chapter is jam packed. I wanted to stuff this full of everything, but hey, gotta wait for the least few chapters! Yes, this chapter will only be 15 or 16 chapters long. Fo sho it won't go past 20. tear I'm gunna miss it. But yes, here it is. Thank you all for the sweet reviews. You guys are the best.
Even though Mia had actually intended on going straight home, Mia saw an outfit in a store they were passing; she couldn't pass it up. An hour and a half later they were finally out of the mall, after J had to drag Mia away from another store.
"Geez Mia, once you get started you just can't stop, huh?" J said as they put the load of bags into the trunk of J's car. The two girls laughed and climbed into J's car. J turned on her CD player and turned it to number four. The CD was 'Secrets' by Toni Braxton. J wasn't a huge fan of Rap or R&B but she loved Toni Braxton. Her favorite song was 'Un-Break My heart'.
J listened to the words to the song and tapped her fingers on her steering wheel.
Don't leave me in all this pain. Don't leave me out in the rain, Come back and bring back my smile, Come and take these tears away, I need your arms to hold--
J quickly turned the song to number four, 'Talking In His Sleep'. 'Un-Break My Heart' was the perfect song for J. It seemed to sum up her feelings for Leon in every word of the song. She didn't want to be in pain, she wanted to smile again and make him smile, she didn't want to cry anymore. The whole song spilt it out, every line, and every word. Even though it was J that left, it was still like it was written from her mind.
Mia pretended to ignore the fact that J switched the song so quickly, but she knew it was something to do with the words of the song. Mia had heard that song once or twice and she loved it. By after seeing J's reaction to the song, she knew it had something to do with Leon.
"You know J, he doesn't hate you." Mia said, looking out the window. J glanced over at Mia and then back at the road.
"I figured he would hate my guts." J sighed. "Somebody should." She muttered. Mia frowned; she heard it.
J and Mia were soon sitting in front of the Toretto house. J turned off the car and they got out. J popped the trunk and helped Mia get all of her bags out of the car. Mia had about 6 or 7 bags, while J only had 3 or 4. J followed Mia up the steps and then into the house. Mia and J stopped in the Living Room and looked around. A blue box was in the middle of the room and a note was on the couch. Mia and J put the bags on the floor and Mia took a step towards the ring. Silvia came in as Mia started to reach down.
"Please don't." Silvia said. Mia stood back up.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Mia asked gingerly. Silvia looked lovingly at Mia but then glared at J. Mia looked from Silvia to J and then back at Silvia. "Sil, what happened?" Mia asked again.
"Everything was fine until she came back." Silvia snapped.
"No, it wasn't. Everything was good with you and Leon, but there was still something missing. Now tell me what happened Sil." Mia pushed. Mia isn't one to get aggravated and pissed off, but that was what seemed like was happening.
"Dom gave Leon the note that Jez wrote ya'll and hid from us and then Leon snapped him in his jaw and just so casually says 'I was going to marry her!'" Silvia pointed at the ring while still looking at J. J looked her in her eyes and could see the hate pouring from them. J kept up her strong exterior while inside she was melting. Marriage? She thought to herself. Marriage is such a serious issue and well...I can't deny I don't love him. But marriage? Maybe I am ready...or was ready.
"What note?" Me asked, confused. J looked at Mia.
"The note I left on the kitchen table. Didn't you guys read it?" J asked.
"No, I never knew about a note." Mia shrugged.
"That's because Dom hid it from us. That's what pissed Leon off." Silvia said, she picked up the note and handed it to Mia. Mia read it and then looked at J with tears in her eyes.
"All this time I've been hating you, we all have and we shouldn't have...oh my god!" Mia's face shriveled up in anger. "I am SO gonna KILL Dom when I see him!" Mia said through clenched teeth. J put her arm around Mia's shoulders and hugged her.
"It's ok. Really, don't take it out on Dom. It's not that big of a deal." J said. She was trying to calm Mia down.
"It wouldn't have been such a big deal if you hadn't come back." Silvia said, pointing her finger at J. "I was here when Vince and Jesse were in the hospital. I helped take care of them. But where were you? GONE. No word or trace of your stank ass. I loved Leon more than anyone could possibly imagine and then you came back and suddenly it all went to hell. Why couldn't you just stay gone? Why couldn't you just stay the fuck out of our lives?" Silvia screamed. J stared at her in shock.
J knew nothing of what happened to Vince and Jesse until Mia told her at the mall. She knew that Dom and them did the last heist but it went bad. Brian wouldn't tell her anything else, because he wasn't sure if Jesse and Vince made it out alive. He didn't want to give her false hope.
"Look Sil. I don't want to seem like a bitch but--" J started to say. She moved her arm from around Mia and took a step away.
"Well you are a bitch." Silvia said in a matter-of-fact tone. J had a look of shock on her face. Mia's hand flew to her mouth. She couldn't believe these words were coming from Sil's mouth. Silvia had always been such a sweet girl and now she was screaming and cursing.
"Why don't you let me finish before you get on my case?" J said, holding her hands up and speaking in a soft, non-threatening tone. Silvia stood with one hand on her hip and her face in a 'well?' sort of look. "Good. Now what I was going to say was that I don't want to seem like a bitch, but I was apart of this team long before you." J started again.
"Yeah, and you ran off." Silvia replied. J nodded.
"I did. But I also had Leon's love long before you did and I had it harder. That boy and I been through a lot. Me leaving for a few months ain't gonna change none of that." J couldn't believe she was saying these things. She wanted to turn and run but something was holding her here. She wasn't gonna let Silvia say shit about her. Her fighting instincts were coming back hard and fast. Dom and Vince always said it was something about territory. Territoy, yeah right, J thought. This is my home bitch, mine. J mentally laughed at herself. I'm such a dork.
"And how the fuck do you know that? Things change darling." Silvia replied confidently. J couldn't believe her. One minute she was talking about how J coming back had taken Leon's love from her and now she was talking like Leon still loved her. J took a step towards her.
"Not with this team they don't. Trust me honey, when you've been around these guys for 10 years, you know they're habits. And I know these guys habits. And it's not like Leon to be in love with someone for almost 2 years and then just forget all his feelings for her after 3 or 4 months." J replied. Silvia took a step towards her.
"And who said he loved you all that time?" Was Silvia's reply. J took a step towards her. They were only arms length from each other.
"Who said he didn't?" J really started to not believe herself. She was really acting like a bitch. But the lyrics of 'Broken' ran through her mind.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open, And I don't feel like I am strong enough, 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, And I don't feel right when you're gone away
She needed Leon back; she knew she couldn't go on without him anymore. She needed him to hold her in his arms while she slept. She needed his love; she needed to hear his voice every morning. She needed him and the team.
"Whatever high horse your on, you need to step off now cuz you ain't gonna stay here. We've been getting along pretty damn well without chu and we can continue to get along without chu. Step off bitch." Silvia said. The back door opened 2 pairs of feet stepped across the Kitchen tile floor, but all three girls were oblivious to the sounds.
"Step off bitch? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?" J raised her hand but stopped. "Look Sil, you can talk all the smack you want to. But the truth is that I said I was coming back and I'm back. You can't expect Leon to fall in love with you in three months; it took him half a year with me. And you can't expect to take my place in this team. I am apart of this team and will always be until my death. This is my family. I'm sure you get along great with everyone and that's cool, I ain't gonna make you leave, but I'm back. Let it be known." J responded with confidence. She was proud of herself for calming down and not going full out on this chick.
"Naw. See, if you're gonna be hanging around, I ain't. They'll just end up ignoring me and you know what, oh well. You and Leon can go and get married and make babies all you want. But don't expect my blessing." She spat out.
"Nobody asked for it." Letty said from behind her. Silvia turned and saw Letty and Dom standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"Letty." Dom scolded. Letty rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. I'm gone." Silvia turned and left the house. J turned and looked at Mia.
"You ok Mi?" J asked. Mia smiled faintly and nodded.
"I'm ok. I never figured her to be such a..." Mia started.
"Bitch?" Letty finished. The girls laughed.
"Yeah. Pretty much. Uh, Dom, did you go shopping?" Mia asked. Dom nodded and pointed to the bags in the kitchen. J looked around.
"I should get going." She said. Mia frowned.
"No. You're staying for dinner." She said. J smiled but shook her head.
"I really shouldn't." She replied.
"Ok. What part of you're staying for dinner did you not understand?" Mia insisted. J rolled her eyes and nodded her head.
"Ok. I'll stay." J walked over to the couch and sat down. Her eyes fell on the blue box still on the floor. Letty sat next to J.
"He still loves you." Letty whispered. J looked around. Mia and Dom were in the kitchen.
"Why? I treated him so bad and I all I did was hurt him. Why would he think of marrying me?" J spilled out. She couldn't keep it in anymore. She had to tell someone.
"Because he loves you." Letty replied. "Don't you love him?" J turned and looked at Letty.
"Of course I love him. I always have. But I don't deserve him." Tears ran down her cheeks and Letty shook her head.
"No, you do deserve him. You guys are perfect for each other. Just wait until he comes home...if he comes home." Letty looked away from J.
"What do you mean, if?" J asked. Letty hesitated. "Let?" J asked.
"He left after him and Dom got in a fight. He was so angry. He thought it was his fault that you left. J...he took off. We haven't heard from him. But then again...that was only like 2 hours ago." Letty finally replied. She sighed and pushed her hair out of her face. J looked to her left. The phone was still in the same spot. She hesitantly picked it up and dialed Leon's cell phone number.
It ringed three or four times before the voice mail came on. She hung up the phone. She stood up and looked down at Letty.
"I know where he is." J turned and briskly walked out the front door and jogging across the front yard she climbed into her car and took off towards the beach.
She arrived at the beach 10 minutes later and saw Leon's yellow skyline. She parked beside it and jumped out and immediately started looking around for him. She saw him down by the ocean, standing with his hands in his pockets and just looking out into the sea.
J walked towards him, slowly. She wasn't sure why she was here, but she knew it had something to do with the ring on the floor in the house. J stopped next to him and stared out at the ocean. Neither one of them said a word. Her eyes drifted over to the left to look at him and she could see a scowl on his face. He must still be mad a Dom, J thought.
"Lee...don't be mad at Dom, please. It's not his fault." J said, on the verge of tears. She had never cried so much in her life.
"I know, but I can't help it. I can't be mad at you, I've never really been mad at you, it's easier if I'm just mad at Dom." Leon replied. "Lee...it really isn't his fault. It was my fault. I screwed everything up. I made everything more difficult then it had to be. Please Lee, if you're going to be mad at anybody, be mad at me. I can't stand everybody treating this like it's not my fault." She said, tears streaming down her face. She clenched her hands into balls. "It's my fucking fault! Everyone should be mad at me! Scream at me! Don't treat me like I'm a fucking porcelain doll and like I'm not responsible for my mistakes!" She screamed. Leon stared down at her.
"What do you want me to do Jez? I can't yell at you! I yelled at you once and look where it got us? Nowhere! I'm not doing that again." Leon replied, looking back out over the ocean.
"Fine. Don't yell. Treat me like a pretty, pretty princess." J replied in a fake high voice. Leon rubbed his face and turned to J.
"Don't tell me the only reason you came down here was to get me to yell at you." Leon asked angrily.
"No. I just...I needed to tell you that it's all my fault and that Sil...well she's gone." J looked at the sand. It was her fault Silvia was gone. J felt guilty, she wasn't sure why though. Silvia had been a straight up bitch to J and she deserved to be hit.
"She's gone? Where?" Leon asked. J looked up at him with an angry look on her face, but then she calmed down.
"I'm not sure. She just said she wasn't going to stick around with me there." J responded. She looked out over the ocean. There had been plenty times that she sat here with Leon. They would come here on his birthday, her birthday, Valentine's Day, any holiday that they chose. J had even spent a few nights with Rome at the ocean in Miami.
"Oh. I'll have to find her and apologize to her. Did you guys get in a fistfight? Or was it just words?" Leon asked. J rolled her eyes. Leon turned around and saw Silvia standing by his car. She nodded and then turned and left. Leon turned back around.
"Words Leon, fucking words. If I had hit her you wouldn't have seen her standing by your FUCKING CAR!" J screamed. Leon looked at her. She had silent tears running down her face.
"Jezzie..." He started to say.
"No Leon. If you won't put the FUCKING BLAME ON MY SHOULDERS THEN YOU'LL NEVER LEARN TO GET PAST WHAT HAPPENED. And guess what? HE'S still around. HE knows where you live, HE knows your car, and HE knows where you work. And if YOU ever want to work it out between us, the team and I are leaving for Miami this weekend. We've gots jobs to get back to. Maybe if you decided to suck it up and finally learn to talk to me, I will stick around longer." J turned and walked back towards her car.
"Jezzie wait!" Leon turned and ran after her, J kept walking. "Don't walk away from me Jez, just stop!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. She looked down at his feet. "Look at me please!" He said. She looked up at him. "I'm sorry Jez, but I can't yell at you. It wasn't just your fault. That guy was after you. I saw what he did to you that day. But you shouldn't have run off. I'm sure your time in Miami was fun and all that, but this is your home. You're not leaving again. I will do anything to make you stay, but I won't yell at you." Leon finished his short speech and stared at her, looking her face over with his eyes, sinking in all of her features. He never wanted to forget the way she looked right now just in case she took off and he never saw her again.
"If you'll do anything for me, just listen to your heart, and listen to this CD." He followed her to her car. She took out the CD and handed it to him. "The whole fucking CD will do, every song says something, but mainly number 4. It's what I've been thinking, what I've been saying the whole 4 months I was gone." Leon gripped her face gently with his free hand and brought her face closer to his.
"I love you Jez, I always have and I always will." He pressed his lips softly against hers and pulled away, leaving them both wanting more. He walked to his car and got in the drove off. J stood and stared at him, she knew that if he ever did ask her, she would marry him.
Leon quickly put the Toni Braxton CD in his CD player and turned it to number 64. Tears came to his eyes as he listened to the words.
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The night are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry this tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....