Title: Snape's Three Brothers
Author: Max
E-mail: jadekirk007@y...
Rating: R to be on the safe side
Pairings: Remus/?? Severus/?? Steven/?? Shaun/??
Archive: Yes, please
Summary: Snape's three crazy brothers have come to pay our dear old Severus a visit.Can Severus last the whole time that they are there without cursing them off the face of the Earth especially as one of the brothers cause a series of events which Hogwarts might not recover from.Set in Harry's Sixth year.This is an AU because I haven't killed off Siruis and he's been found innocent.Remus Lupin is DADA teacher...I just love him. All the brothers sound and look alike.One of the brothers reveal a secret of theirs.Mentions of my other fics and characters so be warned.Top marks to whoever spots the snippet of the song that's featured in this chapter. Beware though I like to pick on random actors so don't be surprised...
Chapter 3- A Sevvie Secret.OUCH!
Steven and Shaun looked at each other and stared whispering to each other.
"Yeah he deserves it." Steven muttered in a louder voice,ignoring Hermione's curious gaze.
"Hee hee. Wait til they find out that SECRET.I can't believe he let the guy do that to him,"Shaun said, incredulously.
"Well don't forget Remus wanted to get one but when he saw what the guy actually had to do he chickened out."
Harry muttered,"You know you two never did tell me what you did for a living."
"Didn't we? Well Steven is an Auror and I'm a....."Shaun muttered, looking embarassed.
Hermione started to ask what Shaun's job was but she was interupted by the boys exclaiming.
"You're an Auror?"
"What's it like?"
"That's so cool."
"Do you have scars?"
"Ron!You can't ask him that."Hermione scolded.
"It's ok.."Steven assured her,"No I don't have many scars but I do have this."He said, pulling his shirt up and showed them his toned stomach and a nipple ring.
All the girls stopped talking and stared at him."Wow!" Lavender sighed,"I want to tug that ring."
"Did it hurt?"Harry asked.
"No I got it when I was very drunk."Steven muttered,"This is also a way of telling us apart, if we're naked that is."He smirked as Hermione and the girls turned pink."I've my nipple, right ear and tongue pierced,Shaun has his ear and navel pierced and he also has a tattoo of a devil on his left butt cheek.Alan doesn't have any, coz it might ruin his image and Severus did have his left ear, his tongue,his nipple, his nose, his navel and his....um... tackle pierced but it looks like he took out the tongue ring and the nose ring.I don't know if he's taken out any of the others.He also has a tattoo on his right shoulder of a lion."
"WHAT?! Professor Snape has piercings."Hermione yelled.
"Well he was drunk at the time.Us guys took Sevvie out for a drink.We all got plastered and we ended up going to a muggle tattoo parlour. Remus backed out of getting a piercing because he was a..." Shaun explained.
"Chicken, Sirius has his ear pierced by the way.Remus did get a tattoo though."Steven snorted,"Imagine a big bad werewolf being afraid of a little needle...Well maybe not so little.He wanted to get his tongue done but when he saw the needle, he bolted.."
"Maybe it was too many memories of getting his shots when he was younger."
"Yeah it was so hilarious.Remus did agree to get a tattoo though.It's of a werewolf howling at the moon."
"He's got another one.This one's of Yugi from Yu Gi Oh.He's become quite addicted to it."
"I'm not going to ask how you know that..The next day Sev wakes up and doesn't recall a thing, he has a shower and he notices the piercings but doesn't feel a thing.."
"Until he puts his clothes on and comes to sit down for breakfast...OUCH!"
Harry,Ron and Hermione laughed,"You didn't tell us what you do, Mr Snape."Harry asked,still laughing.
"Please call us Steven and Shaun.Mr Snape makes us feel old."
"I'm a stuntman.I double for Alan Rickman on the films." Shaun said."You know when he has to do dangerous stunts."
"Cool."
"Alan Rickman is my favourite actor."Hermione stated,"And he's your brother."Steven and Shaun looked at each other in shock.
"Steven opened his mouth."How..."
"sorry guys, she sometimes go off into these flights of fancy, thinking Alan Rickman is Professor Snape's brother."Ron explained."Just because they look alike she thinks they're brothers."
"But she's right."Shaun exclaimed,"Alan Rickman is our brother and you've just met him, and he's your Muggle Studies teacher."
The students' jaws, apart from Hermione's of course, dropped open."You mean that she was right."
"I told you."
"I'm sorry for not believing you Hermione."
"Oh my god."
"He's even sexier in person."
"Ooh wouldn't mind a bit of him on a stick."
"What's his next movie?"
"ALAN RICKMAN IS OUR MUGGLE STUDIES TEACHER!"Parvati yelled, so loudly that everyone in the Great Hall heard her."HE IS LIKE THE SEXIEST ACTOR IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"
Alan and Severus chose that moment to return to the Great Hall and they both heard the last comment and what Pansy yelled back."NO, DAVID THEWLIS IS.ANYWAY I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED DENNIS QUAID."
"CAN'T I HAVE BOTH?"
"NO!"
"I WANT JASON ISAACS."
"GARY OLDMAN."
"QUIET!" Dumbledore yelled without effect.
Alan turned to Severus and muttered,"Well it looks like they found out."
TBC
Author: Max
E-mail: jadekirk007@y...
Rating: R to be on the safe side
Pairings: Remus/?? Severus/?? Steven/?? Shaun/??
Archive: Yes, please
Summary: Snape's three crazy brothers have come to pay our dear old Severus a visit.Can Severus last the whole time that they are there without cursing them off the face of the Earth especially as one of the brothers cause a series of events which Hogwarts might not recover from.Set in Harry's Sixth year.This is an AU because I haven't killed off Siruis and he's been found innocent.Remus Lupin is DADA teacher...I just love him. All the brothers sound and look alike.One of the brothers reveal a secret of theirs.Mentions of my other fics and characters so be warned.Top marks to whoever spots the snippet of the song that's featured in this chapter. Beware though I like to pick on random actors so don't be surprised...
Chapter 3- A Sevvie Secret.OUCH!
Steven and Shaun looked at each other and stared whispering to each other.
"Yeah he deserves it." Steven muttered in a louder voice,ignoring Hermione's curious gaze.
"Hee hee. Wait til they find out that SECRET.I can't believe he let the guy do that to him,"Shaun said, incredulously.
"Well don't forget Remus wanted to get one but when he saw what the guy actually had to do he chickened out."
Harry muttered,"You know you two never did tell me what you did for a living."
"Didn't we? Well Steven is an Auror and I'm a....."Shaun muttered, looking embarassed.
Hermione started to ask what Shaun's job was but she was interupted by the boys exclaiming.
"You're an Auror?"
"What's it like?"
"That's so cool."
"Do you have scars?"
"Ron!You can't ask him that."Hermione scolded.
"It's ok.."Steven assured her,"No I don't have many scars but I do have this."He said, pulling his shirt up and showed them his toned stomach and a nipple ring.
All the girls stopped talking and stared at him."Wow!" Lavender sighed,"I want to tug that ring."
"Did it hurt?"Harry asked.
"No I got it when I was very drunk."Steven muttered,"This is also a way of telling us apart, if we're naked that is."He smirked as Hermione and the girls turned pink."I've my nipple, right ear and tongue pierced,Shaun has his ear and navel pierced and he also has a tattoo of a devil on his left butt cheek.Alan doesn't have any, coz it might ruin his image and Severus did have his left ear, his tongue,his nipple, his nose, his navel and his....um... tackle pierced but it looks like he took out the tongue ring and the nose ring.I don't know if he's taken out any of the others.He also has a tattoo on his right shoulder of a lion."
"WHAT?! Professor Snape has piercings."Hermione yelled.
"Well he was drunk at the time.Us guys took Sevvie out for a drink.We all got plastered and we ended up going to a muggle tattoo parlour. Remus backed out of getting a piercing because he was a..." Shaun explained.
"Chicken, Sirius has his ear pierced by the way.Remus did get a tattoo though."Steven snorted,"Imagine a big bad werewolf being afraid of a little needle...Well maybe not so little.He wanted to get his tongue done but when he saw the needle, he bolted.."
"Maybe it was too many memories of getting his shots when he was younger."
"Yeah it was so hilarious.Remus did agree to get a tattoo though.It's of a werewolf howling at the moon."
"He's got another one.This one's of Yugi from Yu Gi Oh.He's become quite addicted to it."
"I'm not going to ask how you know that..The next day Sev wakes up and doesn't recall a thing, he has a shower and he notices the piercings but doesn't feel a thing.."
"Until he puts his clothes on and comes to sit down for breakfast...OUCH!"
Harry,Ron and Hermione laughed,"You didn't tell us what you do, Mr Snape."Harry asked,still laughing.
"Please call us Steven and Shaun.Mr Snape makes us feel old."
"I'm a stuntman.I double for Alan Rickman on the films." Shaun said."You know when he has to do dangerous stunts."
"Cool."
"Alan Rickman is my favourite actor."Hermione stated,"And he's your brother."Steven and Shaun looked at each other in shock.
"Steven opened his mouth."How..."
"sorry guys, she sometimes go off into these flights of fancy, thinking Alan Rickman is Professor Snape's brother."Ron explained."Just because they look alike she thinks they're brothers."
"But she's right."Shaun exclaimed,"Alan Rickman is our brother and you've just met him, and he's your Muggle Studies teacher."
The students' jaws, apart from Hermione's of course, dropped open."You mean that she was right."
"I told you."
"I'm sorry for not believing you Hermione."
"Oh my god."
"He's even sexier in person."
"Ooh wouldn't mind a bit of him on a stick."
"What's his next movie?"
"ALAN RICKMAN IS OUR MUGGLE STUDIES TEACHER!"Parvati yelled, so loudly that everyone in the Great Hall heard her."HE IS LIKE THE SEXIEST ACTOR IN THE WHOLE WORLD!"
Alan and Severus chose that moment to return to the Great Hall and they both heard the last comment and what Pansy yelled back."NO, DAVID THEWLIS IS.ANYWAY I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED DENNIS QUAID."
"CAN'T I HAVE BOTH?"
"NO!"
"I WANT JASON ISAACS."
"GARY OLDMAN."
"QUIET!" Dumbledore yelled without effect.
Alan turned to Severus and muttered,"Well it looks like they found out."
TBC