Title: Snape's Three Brothers
Author: Max
E-mail: jadekirk007@y...
Rating: R to be on the safe side
Pairings: Remus/?? Severus/?? Steven/?? Shaun/??
Archive: Yes, please
Summary: Snape's three crazy brothers have come to pay our dear old Severus a visit.Can Severus last the whole time that they are there without cursing them off the face of the Earth especially as one of the brothers cause a series of events which Hogwarts might not recover from.Set in Harry's Sixth year.This is an AU because I haven't killed off Siruis and he's been found innocent.Remus Lupin is DADA teacher...I just love him. All the brothers sound and look alike.One of the brothers reveal a secret of theirs.Mentions of my other fics and characters so be warned.Top marks to whoever spots the film being parodied in this part...Beware though I like to pick on random actors so don't be surprised.OOH a dream sequence.
Chapter 5- Return of the potion
Hermione looked at Alan's disgusted face."Oh no! They didn't..."She muttered, but she broke off as a bubble came out of Alan's head."They did."
The whole hall stopped talking and watched Alan's dream unfold.
**Alan's Dream**
(Cheerleader(including Hermione and Ginny are dancing sexily(What is it with these guys and cheerleaders?)We cut to Sirius,Lucius and Remus sitting in the stands.Alan is nowhere to be seen.Lucius is dressed as a girl.)
Sirius(Leaning forward to get a better look): Is that our girl? Ooh la la.
Remus(nose stuck in book): She's no Lucy.
Lucius:Thank you Remus.
Remus: She looks nothing like a drag queen.
(Hermione steps forward,wearing a tiny red top and tiny skirt.She dances really sexily(Pelvic thrusts and all.)Everyone in the stands is oohing and aahing as she does it. but Lucius looks unimpressed.Alan (as Severus) comes and sits down behind Lucius.Lucius turns round and fixes him with a glare.)
Severus:Hey!
Lucius: What do you want?Come to get your recommended daily allowance of homogenized blonde bimbos?
Severus: I'm here to apologise.I said some harsh things.
Lucius: Oh well apology fairly accepted.
Severus: Hermione came onto me pretty hard.She touched my knee,gave me all these french looks.I fell for it, but she only did it to get what she wanted.
Lucius: I'm beggining to notice that she always gets what she wants,including what I want.
(We see Hermione is still doing her sexy dance and Draco as a football player stops and stares at her, after he threw a pass, and gets hit in the head with the football.)
Lucius(leaning towards Remus, who is reading a book.):What are you reading?(Remus shows Lucius the book front which has on it, Phillip K Dick.)Oh I like Dick.Ok I'll cut the crap what does this mean? j'ai une bouche des comme dix digits et j'ai dix digits des comme une bouche?
Remus: I have a mouth like ten fingers and ten fingers like a mouth.
(Lucius screams.)
**End Alan's Dream**
TBC
(A/N: I told you I'd bring it back.Why did Alan dream this? Who was on the phone?)
Author: Max
E-mail: jadekirk007@y...
Rating: R to be on the safe side
Pairings: Remus/?? Severus/?? Steven/?? Shaun/??
Archive: Yes, please
Summary: Snape's three crazy brothers have come to pay our dear old Severus a visit.Can Severus last the whole time that they are there without cursing them off the face of the Earth especially as one of the brothers cause a series of events which Hogwarts might not recover from.Set in Harry's Sixth year.This is an AU because I haven't killed off Siruis and he's been found innocent.Remus Lupin is DADA teacher...I just love him. All the brothers sound and look alike.One of the brothers reveal a secret of theirs.Mentions of my other fics and characters so be warned.Top marks to whoever spots the film being parodied in this part...Beware though I like to pick on random actors so don't be surprised.OOH a dream sequence.
Chapter 5- Return of the potion
Hermione looked at Alan's disgusted face."Oh no! They didn't..."She muttered, but she broke off as a bubble came out of Alan's head."They did."
The whole hall stopped talking and watched Alan's dream unfold.
**Alan's Dream**
(Cheerleader(including Hermione and Ginny are dancing sexily(What is it with these guys and cheerleaders?)We cut to Sirius,Lucius and Remus sitting in the stands.Alan is nowhere to be seen.Lucius is dressed as a girl.)
Sirius(Leaning forward to get a better look): Is that our girl? Ooh la la.
Remus(nose stuck in book): She's no Lucy.
Lucius:Thank you Remus.
Remus: She looks nothing like a drag queen.
(Hermione steps forward,wearing a tiny red top and tiny skirt.She dances really sexily(Pelvic thrusts and all.)Everyone in the stands is oohing and aahing as she does it. but Lucius looks unimpressed.Alan (as Severus) comes and sits down behind Lucius.Lucius turns round and fixes him with a glare.)
Severus:Hey!
Lucius: What do you want?Come to get your recommended daily allowance of homogenized blonde bimbos?
Severus: I'm here to apologise.I said some harsh things.
Lucius: Oh well apology fairly accepted.
Severus: Hermione came onto me pretty hard.She touched my knee,gave me all these french looks.I fell for it, but she only did it to get what she wanted.
Lucius: I'm beggining to notice that she always gets what she wants,including what I want.
(We see Hermione is still doing her sexy dance and Draco as a football player stops and stares at her, after he threw a pass, and gets hit in the head with the football.)
Lucius(leaning towards Remus, who is reading a book.):What are you reading?(Remus shows Lucius the book front which has on it, Phillip K Dick.)Oh I like Dick.Ok I'll cut the crap what does this mean? j'ai une bouche des comme dix digits et j'ai dix digits des comme une bouche?
Remus: I have a mouth like ten fingers and ten fingers like a mouth.
(Lucius screams.)
**End Alan's Dream**
TBC
(A/N: I told you I'd bring it back.Why did Alan dream this? Who was on the phone?)