Hi everyone! Here's my next fic. I love to tell jokes, good or bad. So I thought about combining my two favorite things: DM/HG fics and jokes. Here are my finest. (Or worse depending on whom you are…) Hope you like it!
Disclaimer- I don't on Harry Potter or any of the jokes. Please don't sue!
Chapter Know Any Jokes?
"Damn, damn, damn! Why did you have to make us late, Malfoy? Snape's going to kill us!"
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy were running down the halls of Hogwarts trying desperately to get their Potions on time. Being Head Boy and Girl, their duties sometimes took them places far from their classroom.
"Lighten up, Granger. I know a short cut that we can use." Shot Draco back to Hermione as they ran down a flight of steps. Draco turned left instead of right.
"Where are you going? Potions is that way!" Yelled Hermione pointing towards the right. Draco shook his head.
"No, there's a much faster way to get there if we go this way." He yelled back running off. Hermione groaned and followed him, hoping that it really was short cut. They ran through twisting and turning corridors. Finally, Draco stopped and approached a door. To Hermione, it looked like an ordinary door, but Draco smirked at it. "Okay this is it. Get in and we'll make it." He said opening the door. Hermione studied it for a minute.
"Is it safe?" she asked cautiously.
"Granger, if I wanted to kill you, then I would think up a more creative way." Said Draco sarcastically. Hermione gave him a worried look, but for the sake of her perfect record, she got in. It was dark and it seemed as though nothing was there. Draco walked in and shut the door.
"Okay, now just think of Potions and we'll get there." He said. He couldn't see it, but Hermione looked at him as though he were crazy.
"What've you been smoking, Malfoy?" she asked. Draco scowled and continued to think. Minutes passed by. Hermione tried to look around, but it was pointless in the dark. Finally, she gave up. This is stupid. I'm leaving." She stated as she tried to open the door. It was locked. She tried again, but the door wouldn't budge.
"What's wrong? Can't you even open a door?" sneered Draco. Hermione turned to him in the dark.
"You try then." She said moving to the side for him to try. Draco tried and tried again to open the door, but it was no use.
"See, I told you." She said sitting on the ground.
"Now what?" he asked sitting across from her. She sighed.
"I dunno. I guess we'll just have to wait." She said quietly.
"Fine, just don't talk to me." He sneered again. Hermione rolled her eyes in the dark and settled back. She closed her eyes and tried to relax and take her mind off of Malfoy. This worked for about an hour. Suddenly, Draco poked Hermione in the side.
"Granger… Granger… wake up." He muttered. Hermione's eyes opened wide only to see more darkness. She groaned in her uncomfortable position.
"What now? Can't you get out, oh so smart one?" she asked.
"No. I tried everything. Even yelling. You are one hell of a sleeper because you didn't even stir." He said.
"So why wake me up? I was sleeping so happily until now."
"Because I'm bored." He stated. Hermione snorted.
"And this concerns me how?"
"You're my only source of entertainment, and I'm completely bored. Don't you know any form of entertainment? Even in muggle ways?" he asked. Hermione laughed. He was practically begging her. She decided to give in since he wouldn't stop bugging her.
"Okay… umm… do you know any jokes?" she asked skeptically.
"I dunno… say one, and maybe I do." He shot back at her. Hermione sighed and thought of a joke. One suddenly came to her. She giggled a little and began her joke.
"All right, two men were driving in a car when it suddenly broke down. They got out and began to walk a few miles until they came to a farm. They knocked on the front door, and a farmer answered.
'Please sir. Can we please stay the night? Our car broke down a few miles back, and we need a place to stay.' Said the first guy.
The farmer answered, 'Of course you can. But what ever you do, don't eat the red apples in there.' He warned. The two guys agreed and went to the barn. During the night, they got really hungry and ate all the apples.
In the morning, the farmer found them and was very mad. He decided to punish them.
'Go out into the field, and pick your favorite fruit or vegetable.' He ordered the first guy. He went out and began to pick grapes. He picked a handful then went back to the farmer. 'See how many you can shove up your nose, then go stand over there.' So the guy shoved some grapes up his nose and stood under a tree.
The second guy went to farmer. 'Go out into field, and pick you're favorite fruit or vegetable.' The second guy went out and picked some peas and returned to the farmer. 'See how many you can shove up your nose, then go stand over there.'
Now the two guys were standing under the tree with peas and grapes up their noses, watching the rest of the people in the field.
Then the second guy said, 'Boy, I'm glad I'm not that guy over there picking watermelon.'"
Hermione finished her joke. Draco snorted and laughed a little.
"Know any more, Granger?"
A/N: okay, I know these jokes may sound corny and stupid, but hey, they can't be all bad, now can they? Thanks for reading and please review!
Me,
RonFan