Chapter 3: Link's Discovery

Link began to surf the internet. He was becoming more and more desperate by the second to figure out what was going on with AOL. It looked to him like everything was the same. As he continued on through his search engine search, titled "who the hell owns this system", he turned up only one result.

"I should've known," Link said, "there's really no other person it could've been."

Ganondorf's picture appeared on the screen. But there was a new face to go with it.

"Who is THAT?," Saria turned to Link and asked, "I've never seen that guy before."

"I don't know," Link replied, "but whoever he is, he needs a clean shave and a new pair of glasses."

Link continued searching to find who this mysterious face belonged to. He typed in searches such as "bald man with glasses", "funny looking old dude", and "AOHell executives". Finally, he came to a web site where it listed all AOL executives, with their pictures.

"I found it," said Link.

"Who is it?," Saria asked.

"His name is Stan Kasten. He's a 60 year old man who apparently was last seen in a local shopping mall with his momma eating pretzels and hard candy," Link began, "his hobbies are ripping people off for money, acting
superior to other people, and making complete havoc out of everything. He has an IQ of approximately 200-his weight (which equivalents to about –50), and it looks like he's been married only once. To his work."

Everything seemed to be making sense. It was all falling into place.

"That sounds like the typical AOHell executive," said Saria, "a complete low-life who is interested in nothing but screwing people over."

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came a popup ad. AOHell performed an illegal operation, and had to be shut down. Link couldn't believe it. As he desperately tried to save the connection, Saria contemplated how they were going to approach the situation.

"Maybe we should just attack them head on," Saria said, "but they're probably expecting that."

"WILL YOU STOP THAT AND HELP ME," Link shouted, "THE FREAKIN CONNECTION IS TIMED OUT!!!!!"

"Of course, we COULD just go around the back of their headquarters….."

"SARIA!!!!!!"

"Then there's….."

"SAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRIIIIIAAAAAAAAAA"

"What Link…. OH MY GOD!!!"

The whole computer had shut off. Now it had become personal.

"That's it," Link said, "I've had enough of this. I'm canceling my subscription. Where's that freakin' cancel button?"

They desperately tried to find out how to cancel the subscription. To their shock and horror, a message popped up which realized all their fears.

"It says here you can't cancel it," said Saria.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!," Link shouted.