OMG!!!!!! I'm going to cry! I haven't updated this story in so long and it makes me sad. Please don't hate me. After this, I will update much more! Promise. An awesome shout out to the review that I got that made me want to continue, Sacagawea. I appreciate your review and I'm grateful that you helped me feel less lazy and actually update!
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any of the jokes.
Chapter 3 Classic Jokes
"Where did you hear all of these jokes anyway?" asked Draco after sitting in silence for a few moments.
"I heard them mostly from other people. Jokes travel fast, don't they?" said Hermione. Draco nodded in agreement even though she couldn't see.
"Alright, I've got one. Why did the chicken cross the road?" he asked. Hermione laughed.
"You just now heard that one? I've heard that joke about a million times before now. To get to the other side." She said.
"That's not the only answer you know. There's also to prove that he wasn't chicken and to get to KFC, whatever that is." Explained Draco.
"KFC is a muggle restaurant famous for its chicken." Said Hermione. "How about this one. Knock, knock." Draco gave her a funny look even if she couldn't see it. "Just answer, 'Who's there?' Got it?"
"Okay. Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry. It's only me."
"What kind of a stupid joke is that? Those blonde ones were better." Said Draco.
"It's a classic joke that almost everyone knows. Well, now you know, so that makes it everyone." Said Hermione.
"Okay, well then I have the perfect joke for you, Miss Granger." Said Draco. Hermione could tell he was smirking. "A Chinese man needs to cross a bridge. When he gets to it, a toll guard stops him.
'To pass, you need to answer my question. How many L's are in Here Comes The Bride?' asked the toll guard. The man thought and finally replied.
'Zero. Zero L's are in Here Comes The Bride.' Said the man.
'That's right. You may pass." Answered the toll guard. The man crossed the bridge and left.
The next day, an English man came to the bridge to cross it. The toll guard came and stopped him.
'To pass, you have to answer my question. How many L's are in Here Comes the Bride?' asked the toll guard. The English man though for a minute and answered.
'Zero. Zero L's are in Here Comes the Bride.'
'That's right. You may pass.'
Then an American comes to the bridge and he wants to cross. The toll guard stops him at the beginning of the bridge.
'To pass this bridge, you have to answer my question. How many L's are in Here Comes the Bride.'
The American stood there thinking. He stood there thinking for a good hour before the toll guard asked him again.
'Do you know the answer?' he asked.
'I think. Let me think for another hour.' He told the guard. Another hour went by and the man had said nothing. Finally, the guard could no longer stand it.
'Answer now or just don't pass.'
'Twenty-seven. Twenty-seven L's are in Here Comes the Bride.' He answered. The guard looked at the man as if he were crazy.
'No! Where the hell did you get that?' he asked. The man began to sing.
'La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.'
Hermione gave Draco a funny look after hearing that joke.
"What kind of a stupid joke was that?!" she asked. Draco laughed.
"Don't you like stupid funny jokes?" he asked innocently.
"Yeah, but that was just stupid, not funny."
"Fine then. Got anything better?"
"Three guys walked into a bar and the fourth one ducked." She said. There was a long silence following that. Draco thought hard and hard. What was so funny about that?
"That just didn't make sense." He told her. She smirked at him.
"Think about it. If you saw three guys walk into a metal bar, wouldn't you duck?" she asked. It clicked.
"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH… okay now I understand. That was still really stupid." He said. Now he was just trying to annoy her.
"Fine! If you're so clever, then either make up your own joke or dance or something." She said randomly. In the dark, Draco smirked.
"I can't dance in these pants. There's no ballroom."
Hermione turned to him slowly. She gave him a weird look before bursting out in laughter. Draco was already laughing at her trying to keep her straight face.
"That… was… good…! I'll… give… you… that!" she tried to say as she was gasping for breath. "Did you make that up?"
"Nope. I heard it from some guy at one of my father's parties. My father was not pleased when I burst out laughing at him. The guy just looked at me like I was crazy. I thought it was the other way around." Explained Draco. When they finally calmed themselves, Draco started a joke of his own.
"Okay, so this rich woman comes home one night after a big party. She walks up to her bedroom and finds her butler, Charles, in there.
'Charles, take off my dress.' She says and he does. 'Take off my panty hose.' Again, Charles does. 'Now my bra and panties.' Finally she says, 'Now I don't ever want to see you in my clothes again, Charles.'"
Hermione snorted. "You had me going there. I thought this was going to be one of your sick jokes.!"
"I haven't even said a sick joke once! Sheesh…" Hermione shushed him quickly and started a new joke of her own.
"This is another knock-knock joke so answer 'who's there?' Alright, knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock, knock!"
This joke went on for another five minutes. Just when Draco was sure that she was done, she would start it over again. Finally, Draco couldn't take it.
"OKAY, JUST END THE STUPID JOKE!" he yelled. Hermione just laughed.
"Knock, knock."
Reluctantly and groaning, Draco answered, "Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't day banana?"
Hermione rolled over laughing at how Draco had sat there and listened to the stupidest joke ever. Now he was just mad!
"Hey Granger, what do you call a failed abortion?" he asked.
"What?" she answered skeptically.
"Hermione!"
A/N: OMG!!!! That took forever! I'm sorry if this was no good. This story is going to be really short so don't expect too much. During the next two chapters, you will read the longest jokes in history! Enjoy!
Me,
RonFan