Wow! I got a lot of great reviews! Thanks so much! This chapter only has one joke, but it's really long. BEWARNED! You'll probably think that this joke is stupid and a waste of time. Well, it is, but I love it anyway. So if you would, would you please participate in a "Pay It Forward" type thing. After reading this joke, pass it on to three people, and have them pass it on to three people. You don't have to, but maybe the joke will get back to me! Now that would be funny! Happy reading.
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or this joke. My friend, Madison, told it to me. She deserves the credit.
Chapter 4 Revenge
"Oh, Malfoy!" exclaimed a very mad Hermione. "If I knew where you were right now, I'd slap you!"
"You've already done that before. Why make history repeat itself?" he asked innocently. Hermione groaned. Then she looked at the small, frail light that was coming through under the doorway. She saw Draco's outline and smiled to herself.
"Because you deserve it!" she yelled, and with that, she slapped him yet again. It was even harder than it was in their third year. Draco yelled and held his cheek.
"How the hell did you know where I was?" he asked still rubbing his cheek.
"I can see where your outline is so I just guessed the rest of the way."
"If you were a guy, I'd have you down in a headlock. Thank your lucky stars that you're now!"
"Ugg… you're such a bastard!" she yelled at him! All the laughs were behind her. This was the real Malfoy she knew and hated. And she'd thought she'd seen a change…
"I know you are, but what am I?' he countered back at her. Hermione began to laugh.
"I haven't heard that in a while."
"That's because only Puebloods such as myself say it." Hermione yelled again in frustration.
"Fine then. You're an arrogant, selfish, annoying, pathetic, son of a bitch, bastard, moron, asshole, ass crack, jack ass, stupid, prat, and… and…" she yelled soon running out of insults.
"And what…" he pushed.
"And you're a butthead." She muttered folding her arms. Draco just stared.
"A butthead? No one's called me that since… well, ever. You're the first person in my entire life who ever criticized me accept for Potty and Weasel. I'm impressed, but butthead? I've never been called that before." He admitted.
"Well, maybe just not to your face." She said smiling at that. The two sat there in silence just thinking of what to say. Finally, Draco decided to speak up.
"I'm sorry." He said though somewhat reluctantly. Hermione turned to look at him even though she couldn't actually tell what he was thinking.
"I can't believe you just said that." She stated.
"Me either, but I want to tell you a joke so I want to make sure you're listening." He said to her. He was laughing on the inside. Revenge would be sweet.
"Okay fine. Shoot." She said encouraging him to go on.
"There was once a boy, who was born into a very rich family. His parents sometimes gave him anything he wanted."
"Gee, now where have I heard that before?" interrupted Hermione.
"Shut up, and let me continue. Well, the boy finally graduated from preschool. So far, he had already mastered his ABC's and could count to one hundred perfectly. He could even spell fairly well, and his reading was going great. His father was very proud.
'Son,' said the father. 'I'm so proud of you. You've got a great start on life and I know you'll be great one day. As a reward, I'll buy you anything you want. You name it; I'll buy it for you. What do you want?'
'Well Dad, I saw these two pink and purple polka dotted ping-pong balls that I kind of want." Suggested the little boy. His father shook his head.
'Son, you'll learn later that there are things you want, and things are a waste of money. This is one of those things. Pick something else.' Said the dad. So the boy did"
"Is this the story of your life or something else?" asked Hermione. Draco rolled his eyes.
"Stop interrupting for God's sake!" he yelled. Hermione became silent as he continued. "Then the son graduated from elementary school. He was top of his class every year and was the star of all of the sports teams that were there. His future was looking bright.
'Son, I'm so proud of you. You're doing so perfect in life already. I want to make you happy so I'll buy you anything you want. You name it; I'll buy it for you. What is it?'
'Well Dad, I still kind of want those two pink and purple polka-dotted ping-pong balls.' Answered the son. The dad rolled his eyes.
'Son, you don't want those. It's stupid. Pick something else.' Insisted the father. So he did.
Then the son was out of high school. He was valedictorian and the start of football, basketball, baseball, and the other teams. He was dating the most beautiful girl in the school and he had been accepted to the top college."
"Wait, wait… how do you know what all of these things are? They're all muggle things." Said Hermione interrupting yet again. Draco was ready to kill her.
"What the hell is your problem? This is just how I heard it! I don't really know what the hell basketball is. That's just how it's supposed to go. Now let me finish!" he yelled.
"Fine. I'll be quiet for the rest of the time." She insisted.
"Good. Now the son was graduating from college. Once again, he was at the top in everything. He was active in the community and was still doing sports. He was even still dating his high school sweetheart. His father was so proud.
'Son, I'm so proud of you. Your life is at your fingertips. No one can stop you now. I want to buy you any thing you want. You name it. I'll buy it for you. What do you want?' asked the father.
'Well dad, I still have my eye on those two pink and purple polka-dotted ping-pong balls. I really want them.'
The dad sighed. 'Son, that's a stupid thing to ask for. Please pick something else.' Pleaded the dad. So he did.
Then he was getting married. It was to his high school girlfriend. She was still very pretty and was also very smart. It was a match made in heaven.
'Son, I'm so prod of you. You and your new wife will have a great life together and I know you'll be happy together. I want to buy you two something special. You name it. I'll buy it for you. What do you want?'
'Dad, we'd really be happy if we had those two pink and purple polka-dotted ping-pong balls for our marriage.' Said the son.
'Son, this is getting old. You know that the answer will be no. I'm begging you. Pick something else!' So he did.
Then, he was having his very first child. The baby was just the right size and as healthy as could be. The dad was so excited to be a grandfather.
'Son, I'm so proud of you. Your new baby will live a charmed life with its beautiful parents. I want to make you and your new family happy. So I'll buy you anything you want. You name it. I'll buy it. What do you want?'
'Dad, my child and wife would be happy for me if I could just get those two pink and purple polka-dotted ping pong balls.'
'Son, that's pathetic. You're willing to give up this chance for your own personal gain and not the gain of your family? Please, please pick something else!' So he did.
Then he's lying on his deathbed. He's suffering from cancer and the doctors can do nothing to help him. The son was on the edge of death when his father came to visit him for the last time.
'Son,' he said in between tears. 'I love you so much. You've had a great life. No one can ever take your place. You're leaving behind a sweet wife and child, but it's probably for the best. No father, though, wants to see his only son die unhappy. Let me buy you anything you want. You name it. I'll buy it for you. What do you want?'
'Dad, all my life, I've wanted those two pink and purple polka-dotted ping-pong balls. Won't you please buy them for me now that I only have barely days to live?" begged the son. The dad sighed.
'Son, no! That's a waste of time. Pick something else! Why do you want them anyway?' asked the dad.
'Well because… because…' And he died"
Hermione sat there staring at Draco through the darkness.
"That was one of the longest and stupidest jokes I've ever heard!" she exclaimed. Draco's hands went to his cheeks to protect them.
"That's what you get for telling me the orange and banana joke!" he yelled back. "What do you mean by 'one of the longest?'"
She smirked a smirk worthy of a Malfoy. "Oh, you've never heard the Pink House Joke?" she asked.
"No… do I want to hear it?" he asked.
"Even if you don't, I'm going to tell you anyway." She said as she began to laugh evilly. Draco was in for it. The game of revenge was about to come back and spit in his face.
A/N: Okay, don't flame me! I know you probably think that it was a waste of time, but the joke is really funny when you tell it face to face and make someone sit through it all. Now THAT is funny! Well, next you'll hear an even longer joke. I'll update as soon as I can!
Me,
RonFan