In the Mind of an Evil Queen
My eyes close slightly. Heavily lidded with the bitterness of my cold heart. They flicker open again as I let them sweep the room as I search for the one treasure I've ever come to own or care for. The mirror. It went beyond obsession as I marveled upon it at every moment I unclouded my vision. But today would be different. For today I would ask it the only question I truly wanted answered.
I strode down the stone corridors with a click of my heel only pausing to throw a disgusted look off the balcony at the girl whom sung hopeful, peaceful songs as she worked. What was her name again? Snow White Oh yes that was it. Ugh. She disgusted me. Her happiness seeping through my castle and polluting the hearts of the workers I already poisoned.
Jealous Humph. Of course not! And what for? Do you see her in here? With the fear and respect of many? No. So why should I be? Because she is happy and you shall never be. Curse you. Curse you because you are right. But no matter, for after I see my precious mirror I will be content with my disposition. For as long as she lives...however long that will be.
My voice pours out to the mirror. Like poisoned honey and it fears me for it can only answer me truthfully. I mind not. I thrive off the fear. For if I do not have fear what do I have? "Mirror, mirror...on the wall (which I deemed silly...where else would it be?)...Whom is the fairest of them all?" There is a silence. Did he hear me I wonder?
Then his voice booms... "Snow White is the fairest of them all!" This input from my precious mirror takes moments to sink in. The thought begins to implant itself in my mind. Snow white.... Yes you fool! Snow White? Little singing girl? We were just talking about her!
I gnash my teeth together. 'Shut Up!' I mean honestly, why have a subconscious if all you are going to do is argue with it...You have a really low self-esteem. Oh for heavens sake! I have more important things to do!
"Snow White!" I shriek disbelieving, to my mirror as if had known the source of my rage all along. My mirror nodded solemnly. I knew my eye was twitching but at that moment I was beyond caring. "This is unacceptable!" I spat.
My mirror looked at me warily. "Well what do you want me to do about it! I'm just the messenger!" he whined to me. I growled inwardly, I knew just how to fix this problem.
"Henchman!" I screech to the outside of my dungeon door as it flings open. A large hunter comes forward. "I have a name you know?" he mumbled.
I shrug, "Yes but I was never very good with names." I tell him as I
motion for him to come closer.
Well that's because you're and idiot! , My subconscious hisses at me. "What was that?" I demand to the air, unaware of the strange looks I was getting from my two companions. "She okay?" my mirror whispers to the Henchman.
Said Henchman shrugs. "She's always like this." He whispers back, "But
if she doesn't stop narrating soon I'm going to go crazy!"
"Wait..." I begin, "Never mind!" I say as I motion my hunter to come closer. "Yes milady." He whispers as if sharing with me a deep secret.
"This is what I want you to do. Take Snow White," yet being the
insubordinate henchman that he is he interrupts me.
"You mean the lovely young girl that sings beautiful songs?" he asks a dreamy look on his face. I shoot him an exasperated glare. "Yes her!" I hiss. "Anyway," I continue, "I want you to..." I pause for suspense... "Take her to the woods then kill her!" This statement caused a collective gasp. "It's wonderful isn't it?" I ask him.
"No!" he protests, "I don't want to kill her!" He whines. "Fine than." I pout. "Bring in Henchman #2!"
He rolls his eyes. "Fine...what kind of proof do you want?"
"Proof?" I ask dumbly. I watched as my servant rolled his eyes again and I thought that I would have to send out a new memo to my workers. 'No more insulting the Queen's intelligence while in her presence.' Yeah that would do it.
I was snapped out of my thoughts as my henchman simply said, "How 'bout her heart?" I looked at him through slitted eyes as if trying to detect any foul play. "I guess." I stated indifferently.
"Good than! I'll just get right on it!" he says in a suddenly perky mood. And people think I'm bipolar. I contemplate this as I watch him rush out of my evil lair.
"So," I say turning to the mirror, "Tell me about yourself." And thus begins what I'm sure will be a riveting conversation.
So there I was it was about midnight, and way past my bedtime might I add, when my hunter came in and with a distasteful look threw a heart onto my desk. "Ewww!" I squeal as I pinch my nose and turn my head from the stench.
"Ugh, get the maintenance crew in here to take care of that!" I shriek pointing at the bloody muscle. He nods then pauses. "It is Snow Whites." He says a little suspiciously but I could care less.
"Oh Goody than!" I squeal in delight as I wave my hand toward him. "You've have just promoted from Henchman to Evil Minion!...You can leave now."
He nods and rushes out of the room. "Well that was odd..." I trailed off as I turned back to my extremely difficult crossword puzzle. "Hmmm...a four letter word that is the opposite of hate? Wonder what that could be?"
About a month later I was having an 'interesting' conversation with my mirror when he brought up the thought that Snow White might not exactly be dead. So, taking the hint, I asked him to bring up an image of where Snow White could ever possibly be.
Oh for Heaven's sake! She's still alive! I'll have to remember to deduce that Hunter's rank back to henchman! Hmm what to do?
Suddenly my mirror spoke. "You could just take care of her yourself, you know? Just a thought..." he trailed off. I clapped my hands together.
"I've got a fantastic idea!" I exclaimed as I lifted my hand in excitement, "I'll just take care of her myself!" My mirror looks at me as if shocked by genius.
"Right," he drawled, "and I of course suggested nothing." Ohh sarcasm I could do without that. "Did you say something minion?" I snap at him. He shakes his 'head' quickly as I nod approvingly. "Good. Now where is my evil black bird...I do have an evil black bird right?"
The mirror looks at me as if not having a clue. I throw my hands towards the sky in frustration. "Now I have to go buy one!" I shout as I storm out of the room. Does anyone have any have idea how hard it is to fin en evil bird this far out in the boonies? My work is never done...
Okay so NOW here I am with my evil black crow (My therapist says it's not healthy to be politically incorrect.) as I peek into some stupid wooden house thing to see if the girl is by herself. I edge closer to the door as I feel my foot melt into squishy Earth. Looking down I realize that I stepped in cow pie. Yuck. I didn't even know there were cows out here.
With a sigh I look around to see where to get rid of it. Then I just don't care because once I step in her house cabin ... whatever. Anyway it'll get all over her nice clean for and that'll show her for letting cows loose in her yard! Deep breaths. Oh shut up.
With a wave of my perfectly manicured hand I turn myself into a stinky old women as pull out the apple I accidentally dropped in my cauldron...It would probably taste better if it hadn't been poisoned but that's okay. My original plan for her to choke really wasn't going to work that well so I guess I got lucky.
"Why hello there young lady..." She looked at me curiously. I continued, "could I interest you in a wishing apple?" I ask her.
Her eyes widen in astonishment. "A wishing apple? Does it make your wish come true?" I looked at her blankly for a moment. "Umm...Yeah sure it does, just eat it or whatever..." Nodding she lifts the apple up to her lips and makes a wish. Which is hopefully for a few more brain cells because man is this girl gullible. I smiled evilly as she fell unconscious to the ground.
I scream as I fall down the cliff. They had discovered my plan. All of the girl's friends I mean. It's pouring rain and I feel that it be best to pretend that I'm dead. The truth is that I just fell and hit my bum really hard. But they don't need to know that right?
I watch as they leave. Slowly I get up and creep back to my castle as I sit and talk to my book now...or write. Yeah it's writing, you are reading my diary right now so yeah. But let me end like this...if you ever want to be the fairest of them all than get a face-lift or plastic surgery.
THE END
My eyes close slightly. Heavily lidded with the bitterness of my cold heart. They flicker open again as I let them sweep the room as I search for the one treasure I've ever come to own or care for. The mirror. It went beyond obsession as I marveled upon it at every moment I unclouded my vision. But today would be different. For today I would ask it the only question I truly wanted answered.
I strode down the stone corridors with a click of my heel only pausing to throw a disgusted look off the balcony at the girl whom sung hopeful, peaceful songs as she worked. What was her name again? Snow White Oh yes that was it. Ugh. She disgusted me. Her happiness seeping through my castle and polluting the hearts of the workers I already poisoned.
Jealous Humph. Of course not! And what for? Do you see her in here? With the fear and respect of many? No. So why should I be? Because she is happy and you shall never be. Curse you. Curse you because you are right. But no matter, for after I see my precious mirror I will be content with my disposition. For as long as she lives...however long that will be.
My voice pours out to the mirror. Like poisoned honey and it fears me for it can only answer me truthfully. I mind not. I thrive off the fear. For if I do not have fear what do I have? "Mirror, mirror...on the wall (which I deemed silly...where else would it be?)...Whom is the fairest of them all?" There is a silence. Did he hear me I wonder?
Then his voice booms... "Snow White is the fairest of them all!" This input from my precious mirror takes moments to sink in. The thought begins to implant itself in my mind. Snow white.... Yes you fool! Snow White? Little singing girl? We were just talking about her!
I gnash my teeth together. 'Shut Up!' I mean honestly, why have a subconscious if all you are going to do is argue with it...You have a really low self-esteem. Oh for heavens sake! I have more important things to do!
"Snow White!" I shriek disbelieving, to my mirror as if had known the source of my rage all along. My mirror nodded solemnly. I knew my eye was twitching but at that moment I was beyond caring. "This is unacceptable!" I spat.
My mirror looked at me warily. "Well what do you want me to do about it! I'm just the messenger!" he whined to me. I growled inwardly, I knew just how to fix this problem.
"Henchman!" I screech to the outside of my dungeon door as it flings open. A large hunter comes forward. "I have a name you know?" he mumbled.
I shrug, "Yes but I was never very good with names." I tell him as I
motion for him to come closer.
Well that's because you're and idiot! , My subconscious hisses at me. "What was that?" I demand to the air, unaware of the strange looks I was getting from my two companions. "She okay?" my mirror whispers to the Henchman.
Said Henchman shrugs. "She's always like this." He whispers back, "But
if she doesn't stop narrating soon I'm going to go crazy!"
"Wait..." I begin, "Never mind!" I say as I motion my hunter to come closer. "Yes milady." He whispers as if sharing with me a deep secret.
"This is what I want you to do. Take Snow White," yet being the
insubordinate henchman that he is he interrupts me.
"You mean the lovely young girl that sings beautiful songs?" he asks a dreamy look on his face. I shoot him an exasperated glare. "Yes her!" I hiss. "Anyway," I continue, "I want you to..." I pause for suspense... "Take her to the woods then kill her!" This statement caused a collective gasp. "It's wonderful isn't it?" I ask him.
"No!" he protests, "I don't want to kill her!" He whines. "Fine than." I pout. "Bring in Henchman #2!"
He rolls his eyes. "Fine...what kind of proof do you want?"
"Proof?" I ask dumbly. I watched as my servant rolled his eyes again and I thought that I would have to send out a new memo to my workers. 'No more insulting the Queen's intelligence while in her presence.' Yeah that would do it.
I was snapped out of my thoughts as my henchman simply said, "How 'bout her heart?" I looked at him through slitted eyes as if trying to detect any foul play. "I guess." I stated indifferently.
"Good than! I'll just get right on it!" he says in a suddenly perky mood. And people think I'm bipolar. I contemplate this as I watch him rush out of my evil lair.
"So," I say turning to the mirror, "Tell me about yourself." And thus begins what I'm sure will be a riveting conversation.
So there I was it was about midnight, and way past my bedtime might I add, when my hunter came in and with a distasteful look threw a heart onto my desk. "Ewww!" I squeal as I pinch my nose and turn my head from the stench.
"Ugh, get the maintenance crew in here to take care of that!" I shriek pointing at the bloody muscle. He nods then pauses. "It is Snow Whites." He says a little suspiciously but I could care less.
"Oh Goody than!" I squeal in delight as I wave my hand toward him. "You've have just promoted from Henchman to Evil Minion!...You can leave now."
He nods and rushes out of the room. "Well that was odd..." I trailed off as I turned back to my extremely difficult crossword puzzle. "Hmmm...a four letter word that is the opposite of hate? Wonder what that could be?"
About a month later I was having an 'interesting' conversation with my mirror when he brought up the thought that Snow White might not exactly be dead. So, taking the hint, I asked him to bring up an image of where Snow White could ever possibly be.
Oh for Heaven's sake! She's still alive! I'll have to remember to deduce that Hunter's rank back to henchman! Hmm what to do?
Suddenly my mirror spoke. "You could just take care of her yourself, you know? Just a thought..." he trailed off. I clapped my hands together.
"I've got a fantastic idea!" I exclaimed as I lifted my hand in excitement, "I'll just take care of her myself!" My mirror looks at me as if shocked by genius.
"Right," he drawled, "and I of course suggested nothing." Ohh sarcasm I could do without that. "Did you say something minion?" I snap at him. He shakes his 'head' quickly as I nod approvingly. "Good. Now where is my evil black bird...I do have an evil black bird right?"
The mirror looks at me as if not having a clue. I throw my hands towards the sky in frustration. "Now I have to go buy one!" I shout as I storm out of the room. Does anyone have any have idea how hard it is to fin en evil bird this far out in the boonies? My work is never done...
Okay so NOW here I am with my evil black crow (My therapist says it's not healthy to be politically incorrect.) as I peek into some stupid wooden house thing to see if the girl is by herself. I edge closer to the door as I feel my foot melt into squishy Earth. Looking down I realize that I stepped in cow pie. Yuck. I didn't even know there were cows out here.
With a sigh I look around to see where to get rid of it. Then I just don't care because once I step in her house cabin ... whatever. Anyway it'll get all over her nice clean for and that'll show her for letting cows loose in her yard! Deep breaths. Oh shut up.
With a wave of my perfectly manicured hand I turn myself into a stinky old women as pull out the apple I accidentally dropped in my cauldron...It would probably taste better if it hadn't been poisoned but that's okay. My original plan for her to choke really wasn't going to work that well so I guess I got lucky.
"Why hello there young lady..." She looked at me curiously. I continued, "could I interest you in a wishing apple?" I ask her.
Her eyes widen in astonishment. "A wishing apple? Does it make your wish come true?" I looked at her blankly for a moment. "Umm...Yeah sure it does, just eat it or whatever..." Nodding she lifts the apple up to her lips and makes a wish. Which is hopefully for a few more brain cells because man is this girl gullible. I smiled evilly as she fell unconscious to the ground.
I scream as I fall down the cliff. They had discovered my plan. All of the girl's friends I mean. It's pouring rain and I feel that it be best to pretend that I'm dead. The truth is that I just fell and hit my bum really hard. But they don't need to know that right?
I watch as they leave. Slowly I get up and creep back to my castle as I sit and talk to my book now...or write. Yeah it's writing, you are reading my diary right now so yeah. But let me end like this...if you ever want to be the fairest of them all than get a face-lift or plastic surgery.
THE END