I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!
Enjoy! Please R&R
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!
Chapter 2 - Morons Say What
[Timmy gets out of bed and smiles to himself, Saturday = no school! And because Crocker was sick, there's no homework. His weekend will be perfect, nothing can spoil it. He looks over at his fishbowl and remembers the events of the night before, frowning he folds his arms. He wasn't going to apologise, it was Cosmo's fault. Although it may ruin the weekend, he'd rather spend his Saturday arguing than let Cosmo 'win'. At that moment, his fish open their eyes and poof into their normal form]
Wanda: (extremely cheery) Good morning Timmy! It a beautiful day, isn't it Cosmo?
Comso: (smiling) It sure is! I - [looks at Timmy and remembers their fight. His happy expression changes into a snarling frown] I mean...no...it's a horrible day. [Folds arms and turns his back on Timmy]
Timmy: Good morning WANDA! How are you, WANDA?
Wanda: (happily) I'm great thank-you! Why don't you ask Cosmo how he is?
Timmy: (innocently) Cosmo who? I don't know anyone by that name! I don't have any friends by that name anyway...
Cosmo: (realising Timmys game) Hey Wanda, who are you talking to? I don't see anyone here...
Wanda: (attempting to break the tension) Hey - you know what I could really go for...[holds up video game case] a game of Space Mission Extreme, anyone else wanna play?
Timmy: (excitedly) Sure Wanda, I'll play with you! I love that game!!!!
Cosmo: I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am a loving husband who would do anything for you and would definitely be on your side if you decided the kid in the silly pink hat was a really bad BEST BUDDY!
Timmy: No, I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am your loving God child who adores you sooooo much and would do anything or you, even if your husband is a big mean moron who doesn't see the sophistication of pink hats....
Cosmo: [glaring fiercely at Timmy] Don't let your mouth write a cheque your little body can't sign!
Timmy: (quietly to himself) Morons-say-what....
Cosmo: (confused) What?
Timmy: HA! MORON!!
Cosmo: Don't use your witty 10 year old intellect to try and make me look stupid!
Timmy: Idiots-say-what....
Cosmo: What?
Timmy: HA! IDIOT!
Cosmo: (fuming) Hey! How did you...Did you....AHHH! STOP CONFUSING ME!
Timmy: Well it's not really a challenge...(excited) Anyway Wanda, let's play Space Mission Extreme, the most awesome game ever!!!!
Wanda: Hey! You know what, I sprained my finger after some wand exercises last night, I don't think I can play...maybe you should play with Cosmo....
Timmy: (suddenly not excited) You know what? Space Mission Extreme is REALLY lame. I don't like it that much. Anyway, I'm kinda busy today.
[Timmy sits on his bed, staring straight ahead completely unoccupied. The wind is heard blowing and the room goes silent. Everyone watches as a tumbleweed rolls past. Wanda frowns at him]
Timmy: Yeah...well....I gotta de-tumbleweed my room anyway....
Cosmo: (sarcastic) Wow, he sure is a fun one to be around.
Timmy: Hey Cosmo, I have a joke! What's green and stupid?
Cosmo: (suspicious of where this going) I don't know.
Timmy: YOU! Now, what's pink and stupid!
Cosmo: Uh...Cotton candy with an extremely low IQ?
Timmy: No! It's you in disguise!
Cosmo: DUH! You told that joke completely wrong! Where's the fluff? (realising) Wait...was that a cheap shot at me? Why I oughta.....
[Wanda looks at the two arguing and laughs nervously. She tries to change the subject]
Wanda: Hey Cosmo, what do you like about Timmy?
Cosmo: (frowning) Uh let me see.....NOTHING!
Wanda: Don't be silly Cosmo...there must be SOMETHING.
Cosmo: (smiling) Yeah there is one thing actually...
Wanda: (surprised) Really? (casually) I mean...Yeah. And what's that?
Cosmo: (smiling) Well I really like it when...TIMMY'S NOT AROUND!
[Wanda slaps her hand against her head in frustration and notices Timmy is fuming. She holds him back as he attempts to jump on Cosmo]
Timmy: LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!
Cosmo: [sticking his tongue out] Can't catch me! Nerrrrrr!
[Wanda holds up her wands and poofs them both into little cat carrier cases. They struggle and protest, the cases bounce up and down and they are still arguing]
Wanda: (sighing) I thought you boys would have forgotten this silly fight by now. You're both acting extremely immature. My book said if I acted like it never happened and then later encouraged you to talk about it then it may help.
Timmy: Hey Wanda, if you act like it never happened but make us talk about it, how can you talk about something that never happened? Isn't the book contradicting itself?
Cosmo: I don't understand!
Timmy: (sarcastic) Shocking.
Wanda: Uhhh...
[Wanda flicks through the book urgently trying to find the correct chapter. She fails and throws it over her shoulder]
Wanda: Well never mind the book right now! Can't you two just apologise and carry on like you were before?
Timmy: Nope.
Cosmo: Never!!!
Wanda: But what about your video games! And your belching contests...OK those I won't miss as much. But you had so much fun together! What about your shared love of junk food and comic books? And doing those stupid impressions of me?
Cosmo: You knew about those??!
Wanda: (angrily) Of course I knew! Late expressions I'm fond of I often lack - what was that?! But we'll talk about that later. What about all those evil gobananatrons in Space Mission Extreme, you can't let them taking over the world!
Timmy: For the record, it's pronounced 'gonanatrom, and I'd rather live in a world full of them than defeat them with Cosmo!
Cosmo: What he said! Only with 'Timmy' in place of Cosmo!
Wanda: Cosmo, you're thousands of years old! Surely you've got the maturity to forgive Timmy and be the bigger man!
Cosmo: (angry) Oohh sure, be on his side! I always knew you liked him better! You're my wife! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FAVOURITE! I don't need this abuse! I'm leaving you!
[Cosmo poofs out of his cat carrier and glares at Wanda, before disappearing into thin air. Wanda is left confused, just blinking with a neutral expression]
3.2 seconds later...
[Cosmo reappears]
Cosmo: Wanda! I'm sorry! I LOVE YOU! I can't live without you! Don't leave me! I neeeeed you please! Promise you won't leave me!
[He holds her tight. Wanda's face slowly turns blue, she waves her arms]
Wanda: (short of breath) Cosmo...I love you too...but you're....squeezing my lungs...can't breathe...
Cosmo: [drops her] Whoopsie! Sorry!
Wanda: OK, I'm determined to find out how the fight started, and maybe we'll make progress from there. I will ask you both to tell me what happened and why you're angry, then hopefully we'll work something out.
[She poofs Timmy out of his carrier case]
Wanda: Does that sound fair?
Timmy: I guess.
Cosmo: Yes. I'm willing to be mature enough to discuss this like an adult.
Wanda: OK Cosmo, you go first...
Cosmo: I'M THE FAVOURITE! - [points finger inches away from Timmy] In your face, TURNER!
Timmy: (deadpan) Shut up, Cosmo.
Wanda: (sighs) Cosmo...just tell me what happened...
Enjoy! Please R&R
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!
Chapter 2 - Morons Say What
[Timmy gets out of bed and smiles to himself, Saturday = no school! And because Crocker was sick, there's no homework. His weekend will be perfect, nothing can spoil it. He looks over at his fishbowl and remembers the events of the night before, frowning he folds his arms. He wasn't going to apologise, it was Cosmo's fault. Although it may ruin the weekend, he'd rather spend his Saturday arguing than let Cosmo 'win'. At that moment, his fish open their eyes and poof into their normal form]
Wanda: (extremely cheery) Good morning Timmy! It a beautiful day, isn't it Cosmo?
Comso: (smiling) It sure is! I - [looks at Timmy and remembers their fight. His happy expression changes into a snarling frown] I mean...no...it's a horrible day. [Folds arms and turns his back on Timmy]
Timmy: Good morning WANDA! How are you, WANDA?
Wanda: (happily) I'm great thank-you! Why don't you ask Cosmo how he is?
Timmy: (innocently) Cosmo who? I don't know anyone by that name! I don't have any friends by that name anyway...
Cosmo: (realising Timmys game) Hey Wanda, who are you talking to? I don't see anyone here...
Wanda: (attempting to break the tension) Hey - you know what I could really go for...[holds up video game case] a game of Space Mission Extreme, anyone else wanna play?
Timmy: (excitedly) Sure Wanda, I'll play with you! I love that game!!!!
Cosmo: I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am a loving husband who would do anything for you and would definitely be on your side if you decided the kid in the silly pink hat was a really bad BEST BUDDY!
Timmy: No, I'll play with you Wanda! After all, I am your loving God child who adores you sooooo much and would do anything or you, even if your husband is a big mean moron who doesn't see the sophistication of pink hats....
Cosmo: [glaring fiercely at Timmy] Don't let your mouth write a cheque your little body can't sign!
Timmy: (quietly to himself) Morons-say-what....
Cosmo: (confused) What?
Timmy: HA! MORON!!
Cosmo: Don't use your witty 10 year old intellect to try and make me look stupid!
Timmy: Idiots-say-what....
Cosmo: What?
Timmy: HA! IDIOT!
Cosmo: (fuming) Hey! How did you...Did you....AHHH! STOP CONFUSING ME!
Timmy: Well it's not really a challenge...(excited) Anyway Wanda, let's play Space Mission Extreme, the most awesome game ever!!!!
Wanda: Hey! You know what, I sprained my finger after some wand exercises last night, I don't think I can play...maybe you should play with Cosmo....
Timmy: (suddenly not excited) You know what? Space Mission Extreme is REALLY lame. I don't like it that much. Anyway, I'm kinda busy today.
[Timmy sits on his bed, staring straight ahead completely unoccupied. The wind is heard blowing and the room goes silent. Everyone watches as a tumbleweed rolls past. Wanda frowns at him]
Timmy: Yeah...well....I gotta de-tumbleweed my room anyway....
Cosmo: (sarcastic) Wow, he sure is a fun one to be around.
Timmy: Hey Cosmo, I have a joke! What's green and stupid?
Cosmo: (suspicious of where this going) I don't know.
Timmy: YOU! Now, what's pink and stupid!
Cosmo: Uh...Cotton candy with an extremely low IQ?
Timmy: No! It's you in disguise!
Cosmo: DUH! You told that joke completely wrong! Where's the fluff? (realising) Wait...was that a cheap shot at me? Why I oughta.....
[Wanda looks at the two arguing and laughs nervously. She tries to change the subject]
Wanda: Hey Cosmo, what do you like about Timmy?
Cosmo: (frowning) Uh let me see.....NOTHING!
Wanda: Don't be silly Cosmo...there must be SOMETHING.
Cosmo: (smiling) Yeah there is one thing actually...
Wanda: (surprised) Really? (casually) I mean...Yeah. And what's that?
Cosmo: (smiling) Well I really like it when...TIMMY'S NOT AROUND!
[Wanda slaps her hand against her head in frustration and notices Timmy is fuming. She holds him back as he attempts to jump on Cosmo]
Timmy: LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!
Cosmo: [sticking his tongue out] Can't catch me! Nerrrrrr!
[Wanda holds up her wands and poofs them both into little cat carrier cases. They struggle and protest, the cases bounce up and down and they are still arguing]
Wanda: (sighing) I thought you boys would have forgotten this silly fight by now. You're both acting extremely immature. My book said if I acted like it never happened and then later encouraged you to talk about it then it may help.
Timmy: Hey Wanda, if you act like it never happened but make us talk about it, how can you talk about something that never happened? Isn't the book contradicting itself?
Cosmo: I don't understand!
Timmy: (sarcastic) Shocking.
Wanda: Uhhh...
[Wanda flicks through the book urgently trying to find the correct chapter. She fails and throws it over her shoulder]
Wanda: Well never mind the book right now! Can't you two just apologise and carry on like you were before?
Timmy: Nope.
Cosmo: Never!!!
Wanda: But what about your video games! And your belching contests...OK those I won't miss as much. But you had so much fun together! What about your shared love of junk food and comic books? And doing those stupid impressions of me?
Cosmo: You knew about those??!
Wanda: (angrily) Of course I knew! Late expressions I'm fond of I often lack - what was that?! But we'll talk about that later. What about all those evil gobananatrons in Space Mission Extreme, you can't let them taking over the world!
Timmy: For the record, it's pronounced 'gonanatrom, and I'd rather live in a world full of them than defeat them with Cosmo!
Cosmo: What he said! Only with 'Timmy' in place of Cosmo!
Wanda: Cosmo, you're thousands of years old! Surely you've got the maturity to forgive Timmy and be the bigger man!
Cosmo: (angry) Oohh sure, be on his side! I always knew you liked him better! You're my wife! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FAVOURITE! I don't need this abuse! I'm leaving you!
[Cosmo poofs out of his cat carrier and glares at Wanda, before disappearing into thin air. Wanda is left confused, just blinking with a neutral expression]
3.2 seconds later...
[Cosmo reappears]
Cosmo: Wanda! I'm sorry! I LOVE YOU! I can't live without you! Don't leave me! I neeeeed you please! Promise you won't leave me!
[He holds her tight. Wanda's face slowly turns blue, she waves her arms]
Wanda: (short of breath) Cosmo...I love you too...but you're....squeezing my lungs...can't breathe...
Cosmo: [drops her] Whoopsie! Sorry!
Wanda: OK, I'm determined to find out how the fight started, and maybe we'll make progress from there. I will ask you both to tell me what happened and why you're angry, then hopefully we'll work something out.
[She poofs Timmy out of his carrier case]
Wanda: Does that sound fair?
Timmy: I guess.
Cosmo: Yes. I'm willing to be mature enough to discuss this like an adult.
Wanda: OK Cosmo, you go first...
Cosmo: I'M THE FAVOURITE! - [points finger inches away from Timmy] In your face, TURNER!
Timmy: (deadpan) Shut up, Cosmo.
Wanda: (sighs) Cosmo...just tell me what happened...