I don't own the Fairly Odd Parents! Timmy, Wanda, Cosmo, Timmy's parents and any other character from the show was not created by me. I am just borrowing them for a fun, non profit story. They belong to Butch Hartman!!
Enjoy! Please R&R
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!
Chapter 3 - And That's Exactly What Happened, Officer Wanda
[Cosmo stretches his limbs and breathes deeply, he makes silly noises with his mouth in a weird 'voice warm-up' attempt]
Cosmo: I will tell you exactly how it happened....
!FLASHBACK!
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Cosmo, my handsome, charming, funny and delicious hunk of a husband who I think about 24/7...
[Wanda poofs out]
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Wanda: Hey! I didn't say that!
Cosmo: Well this is MY flashback, it's MY story.
Wanda: Sorry.
Cosmo: Yeah, in this story, You said what I said you said!
Wanda: Huh?
Cosmo: Nevermind. Just don't interrupt me!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
Past Cosmo: Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! If Wanda found out about my impressions she'd pull off my head, and then she'd kill me! You're such a good friend!
Past Timmy: (harshly) Shut up Cosmo. You mean nothing to me. I'm just a smelly jerk with no friends because everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness!
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Timmy: HEY!
Cosmo: I SAID MY STORY!!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
Past Cosmo: Timmy! That was a bit harsh! However I will forgive and forget, after all, we are best buddies and I'm not willing for us to have a fight over something so silly...
Past Timmy: Duhh...Cosmo's dumb! I'M REALLY MEAN!
Past Cosmo: Are you feeling OK? Would you like some ice cream to make you feel better? Or candy? Or a trampoline? After all, I am your God parent and as your God parent, I will give you everything your heart desires. I'm just that nice. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!
Past Timmy: I don't want you to grant me any more wishes! I'm ungrateful and a jerk!!
Past Cosmo: (near tears) But...But...Timmy.
Past Timmy: But nothing! I am going to start an argument with you for no reason!
Past Cosmo: You can't! I won't let you!
Past Timmy: YOU SMELL! I DON'T LIKE YOU! YOU'RE STUPID AND GREEN!
Past Cosmo: (cowering) Stop....Must...Resist...Argument......Can't...Upset...Wanda...
Past Timmy: YOU'RE REALLY BAD AT GRANTING WISHES! YOUR CROWN IS ON WONKY!
Past Cosmo: Please....stop!
Past Timmy: YOUR PET CRICKET, JERRY, IS STUPID!
Past Cosmo: (angry) You can make my fun my intelligence, the fact that I'm green, my wishing ability and the fact that my crown isn't on straight...BUT NEVER INSULT MY JERRY!
Past Timmy: Jerry....sucks.
Past Cosmo: OK...NOW IT'S PERSONAL!
Past Timmy: Bring it on, greenie!
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!
!END FLASHBACK!
Cosmo: .....and that's exactly what happened. Timmy started being a jerk and insulted poor innocent Jerry, I had to defend him. THE END!
Timmy: You're the world's biggest liar! Everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness?! What was that?
Cosmo: So perhaps I have forgotten some of the exact dialogue, it's not like people remember every single word said in an argument. I'm sure you said something about you being a jerk though, and bullying poor Jerry!!
Timmy: That's it! TIME FOR MY STORY!
!FLASHBACK!
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Cosmo: That's not right at all! LIAR!
Timmy: What! I haven't even said anything yet!
Cosmo: I know my butt isn't as big as you imagine it to be!
Timmy: Whatever! As I was saying!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
[Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, there's a sudden POP noise and Cosmo's butt is smaller]
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Timmy, you're so awesome and super cool. And Cosmo...ermm....GOODBYE!
[Wanda poofs out]
Past Cosmo: (sarcastically) Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! You're such a good friend!
Past Timmy: Why the sarcasm, buddy? Are you feeling alright? I could always wish you had some ice cream or candy to make you feel better?
Past Cosmo: No...shut up. The sarcasm implied you're NOT a good friend and I DIDN'T appreciate your help, don't you understand?!
Past Timmy: Yeah I get sarcasm. I just wanted to make sure you felt OK and find out why you're mad at me?
Past Cosmo: I'm mad at you because I'm jealous of your super amazing video game skills, it's soooo irritating not being able to beat you or to defeat as much alien scum as you, I'm just a selfish, mean, stupid green fairy who can't let anyone do anything better than me. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!
Past Timmy: Cosmo I can always give you some pointers on Space Mission Extreme. After all, I know how a best buddy should behave and am always willing to look out for you. Do you feel the same about me?
Past Cosmo: No. I'm so jealous of how perfect you are that now I hate you. I have decided to argue with you now.
Past Timmy: Argue? That won't solve anything, Cosmo. I am the more mature and intelligent one, that is how I know this.
Past Cosmo: I would fire amazingly nasty insults at you, but I'm too stupid to think of any good ones. The best I have is 'you suck'. Timmy, you suck.
Past Timmy: I'm hurt Cosmo, but I refuse to sink to your level. How is Jerry the cricket doing? I love that little guy. If Cosmo ever told a stupid made up story to Wanda about how I insulted Jerry, it would be all lies. I love Jerry.
Past Cosmo: Then I'll just carry on trying to make up clever insults, until I fail miserably within five seconds and go chase something shiny I saw in the corner - that is all my brain can do.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, don't be so hard on yourself.
Past Cosmo: Your hat is silly.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, please don't insult my hat -
Past Cosmo: It's pink. And it's silly.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, stop -
Past Cosmo: It's a girl hat.
Past Timmy: I'M SORRY COSMO, YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO SNAP! PLEASE TRY AND RESTRAIN YOURSELF!
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!
!END FLASHBACK!
Timmy: .....and that's exactly what happened. Cosmo was jealous of my video game skills and just snapped for no reason. I tried to be the bigger man and calm him down, but then he insulted my hat. I love this hat, I had to show him it was out of line. I also didn't insult Jerry.
Cosmo: That story really stank! I think you may have ruined my love of storytime forever! AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAT!
Timmy: (shouting) YOUR STORY WAS A LIE!
Cosmo: (shouting louder) YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE!
Timmy: YOUR STORY WAS A BIG FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON!
Cosmo: WELL YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON AND -
Wanda: BOTH OF YOUR STORIES WERE LIES!
[Cosmo and Timmy stop arguing and turn to Wanda, who is going red in the face]
Wanda: Those stories were the biggest lies I ever heard! And I'm thousands of years old! It's no wonder Timmy failed creative writing last month, and then failed again this month after Cosmo helped! They were so terrible!
[Cosmo and Timmy hang their heads in shame]
Cosmo Timmy: (unison) Sorry, Wanda.
Wanda: So, was there anything genuine in those stories?
Cosmo: Maybe I did add in some extra details, but its still pretty much the truth!
Wanda: How much is pretty much?
Cosmo: Uh...I'd rather not say.
Wanda: And Timmy? What do you have to say for yourself?
Timmy: Maybe I...embelished...and I do use that term sorta loosely...
Wanda: How loosely?
Timmy: Uh...I'd rather not say either.
Wanda: That was the biggest pack of lies I've ever heard! Why can't you tell the truth!
Cosmo: The truth is....Timmy's a big jerk!
Timmy: Well Cosmo is a moron with a limited vocabulary!
Cosmo: You leave my academic skills out of this!
Wanda: I thought if I found out what happened maybe it would help! But it just made it worse! Can't you two just be friends?! It's really sad to see the two people I love the most in the world arguing over something so small and trivial! You give me such a headache!
[Wanda's lip quivers on the verge of tears. Very upset, she poofs into the fishbowl. Cosmo and Timmy stand silently for a minute, very ashamed]
Cosmo: Now look what you've done!
Timmy: What are you talking about? This is YOUR fault!
Cosmo: My fault?! She's crying 'cos of you!
Timmy: No...you!
Wanda: [from the fishbowl] I CAN SETTLE THIS, IT'S BOTH OF YOUR FAULTS! NOW BE QUIET!
Cosmo: (whispers) Your fault.
....
The next chapter brings something that forces Cosmo and Timmy to work together again, there may be horrible consequences if they don't put their differences aside...o0o0o0o0!
Enjoy! Please R&R
Cosmo vs Timmy - The Battle: This time....it's trivial!
Chapter 3 - And That's Exactly What Happened, Officer Wanda
[Cosmo stretches his limbs and breathes deeply, he makes silly noises with his mouth in a weird 'voice warm-up' attempt]
Cosmo: I will tell you exactly how it happened....
!FLASHBACK!
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Cosmo, my handsome, charming, funny and delicious hunk of a husband who I think about 24/7...
[Wanda poofs out]
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Wanda: Hey! I didn't say that!
Cosmo: Well this is MY flashback, it's MY story.
Wanda: Sorry.
Cosmo: Yeah, in this story, You said what I said you said!
Wanda: Huh?
Cosmo: Nevermind. Just don't interrupt me!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
Past Cosmo: Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! If Wanda found out about my impressions she'd pull off my head, and then she'd kill me! You're such a good friend!
Past Timmy: (harshly) Shut up Cosmo. You mean nothing to me. I'm just a smelly jerk with no friends because everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness!
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Timmy: HEY!
Cosmo: I SAID MY STORY!!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
Past Cosmo: Timmy! That was a bit harsh! However I will forgive and forget, after all, we are best buddies and I'm not willing for us to have a fight over something so silly...
Past Timmy: Duhh...Cosmo's dumb! I'M REALLY MEAN!
Past Cosmo: Are you feeling OK? Would you like some ice cream to make you feel better? Or candy? Or a trampoline? After all, I am your God parent and as your God parent, I will give you everything your heart desires. I'm just that nice. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!
Past Timmy: I don't want you to grant me any more wishes! I'm ungrateful and a jerk!!
Past Cosmo: (near tears) But...But...Timmy.
Past Timmy: But nothing! I am going to start an argument with you for no reason!
Past Cosmo: You can't! I won't let you!
Past Timmy: YOU SMELL! I DON'T LIKE YOU! YOU'RE STUPID AND GREEN!
Past Cosmo: (cowering) Stop....Must...Resist...Argument......Can't...Upset...Wanda...
Past Timmy: YOU'RE REALLY BAD AT GRANTING WISHES! YOUR CROWN IS ON WONKY!
Past Cosmo: Please....stop!
Past Timmy: YOUR PET CRICKET, JERRY, IS STUPID!
Past Cosmo: (angry) You can make my fun my intelligence, the fact that I'm green, my wishing ability and the fact that my crown isn't on straight...BUT NEVER INSULT MY JERRY!
Past Timmy: Jerry....sucks.
Past Cosmo: OK...NOW IT'S PERSONAL!
Past Timmy: Bring it on, greenie!
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!
!END FLASHBACK!
Cosmo: .....and that's exactly what happened. Timmy started being a jerk and insulted poor innocent Jerry, I had to defend him. THE END!
Timmy: You're the world's biggest liar! Everytime I get a friend I scare them away with my jerkiness?! What was that?
Cosmo: So perhaps I have forgotten some of the exact dialogue, it's not like people remember every single word said in an argument. I'm sure you said something about you being a jerk though, and bullying poor Jerry!!
Timmy: That's it! TIME FOR MY STORY!
!FLASHBACK!
[Back to yesterday: Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, Wanda is on her way out...]
!FLASHBACK INTERRUPTION!
Cosmo: That's not right at all! LIAR!
Timmy: What! I haven't even said anything yet!
Cosmo: I know my butt isn't as big as you imagine it to be!
Timmy: Whatever! As I was saying!
!FLASHBACK RESUMES!
[Timmy and Cosmo are back playing their video game, there's a sudden POP noise and Cosmo's butt is smaller]
Past Wanda: No...I shouldn't worry. I highly doubt you'll even move from this spot....Goodbye Timmy, you're so awesome and super cool. And Cosmo...ermm....GOODBYE!
[Wanda poofs out]
Past Cosmo: (sarcastically) Timmy, thanks for covering for me back then! You're such a good friend!
Past Timmy: Why the sarcasm, buddy? Are you feeling alright? I could always wish you had some ice cream or candy to make you feel better?
Past Cosmo: No...shut up. The sarcasm implied you're NOT a good friend and I DIDN'T appreciate your help, don't you understand?!
Past Timmy: Yeah I get sarcasm. I just wanted to make sure you felt OK and find out why you're mad at me?
Past Cosmo: I'm mad at you because I'm jealous of your super amazing video game skills, it's soooo irritating not being able to beat you or to defeat as much alien scum as you, I'm just a selfish, mean, stupid green fairy who can't let anyone do anything better than me. OOHH LOOK! MY FEET! COOL!
Past Timmy: Cosmo I can always give you some pointers on Space Mission Extreme. After all, I know how a best buddy should behave and am always willing to look out for you. Do you feel the same about me?
Past Cosmo: No. I'm so jealous of how perfect you are that now I hate you. I have decided to argue with you now.
Past Timmy: Argue? That won't solve anything, Cosmo. I am the more mature and intelligent one, that is how I know this.
Past Cosmo: I would fire amazingly nasty insults at you, but I'm too stupid to think of any good ones. The best I have is 'you suck'. Timmy, you suck.
Past Timmy: I'm hurt Cosmo, but I refuse to sink to your level. How is Jerry the cricket doing? I love that little guy. If Cosmo ever told a stupid made up story to Wanda about how I insulted Jerry, it would be all lies. I love Jerry.
Past Cosmo: Then I'll just carry on trying to make up clever insults, until I fail miserably within five seconds and go chase something shiny I saw in the corner - that is all my brain can do.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, don't be so hard on yourself.
Past Cosmo: Your hat is silly.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, please don't insult my hat -
Past Cosmo: It's pink. And it's silly.
Past Timmy: Cosmo, stop -
Past Cosmo: It's a girl hat.
Past Timmy: I'M SORRY COSMO, YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO SNAP! PLEASE TRY AND RESTRAIN YOURSELF!
Past Cosmo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE HAVING A STUPID FIGHT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH WILL LEAD TO US NOT TALKING AND HATING THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER!
!END FLASHBACK!
Timmy: .....and that's exactly what happened. Cosmo was jealous of my video game skills and just snapped for no reason. I tried to be the bigger man and calm him down, but then he insulted my hat. I love this hat, I had to show him it was out of line. I also didn't insult Jerry.
Cosmo: That story really stank! I think you may have ruined my love of storytime forever! AND I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAT!
Timmy: (shouting) YOUR STORY WAS A LIE!
Cosmo: (shouting louder) YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE!
Timmy: YOUR STORY WAS A BIG FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON!
Cosmo: WELL YOUR STORY WAS A BIG, FAT LIE WITH BELLS ON AND -
Wanda: BOTH OF YOUR STORIES WERE LIES!
[Cosmo and Timmy stop arguing and turn to Wanda, who is going red in the face]
Wanda: Those stories were the biggest lies I ever heard! And I'm thousands of years old! It's no wonder Timmy failed creative writing last month, and then failed again this month after Cosmo helped! They were so terrible!
[Cosmo and Timmy hang their heads in shame]
Cosmo Timmy: (unison) Sorry, Wanda.
Wanda: So, was there anything genuine in those stories?
Cosmo: Maybe I did add in some extra details, but its still pretty much the truth!
Wanda: How much is pretty much?
Cosmo: Uh...I'd rather not say.
Wanda: And Timmy? What do you have to say for yourself?
Timmy: Maybe I...embelished...and I do use that term sorta loosely...
Wanda: How loosely?
Timmy: Uh...I'd rather not say either.
Wanda: That was the biggest pack of lies I've ever heard! Why can't you tell the truth!
Cosmo: The truth is....Timmy's a big jerk!
Timmy: Well Cosmo is a moron with a limited vocabulary!
Cosmo: You leave my academic skills out of this!
Wanda: I thought if I found out what happened maybe it would help! But it just made it worse! Can't you two just be friends?! It's really sad to see the two people I love the most in the world arguing over something so small and trivial! You give me such a headache!
[Wanda's lip quivers on the verge of tears. Very upset, she poofs into the fishbowl. Cosmo and Timmy stand silently for a minute, very ashamed]
Cosmo: Now look what you've done!
Timmy: What are you talking about? This is YOUR fault!
Cosmo: My fault?! She's crying 'cos of you!
Timmy: No...you!
Wanda: [from the fishbowl] I CAN SETTLE THIS, IT'S BOTH OF YOUR FAULTS! NOW BE QUIET!
Cosmo: (whispers) Your fault.
....
The next chapter brings something that forces Cosmo and Timmy to work together again, there may be horrible consequences if they don't put their differences aside...o0o0o0o0!