The year was 1989. The month was October. The place was Smallville. Up until that time it had been known as The Cream Corn Capital Of The World, but all of that was about to change.
Somewhere in a flattened cornfield, Lionel Luthor almost choked on his heart-shaped cookie when he found a lock of Lex's hair lying on the ground. Looking around frantically, he finally found Lex's body, hidden beneath some cut-down corn stalks. As he pulled the stalks away, he recoiled with horror at what they revealed. His son was lying there, shivering, bald, his red hair and his inhaler lying beside him. Lex opened his mouth to speak ...
Jonathan and Martha Kent were travelling back to their farm when suddenly Jonathan's vision was obscured by a swirling mass of corn stalks coming from a cornfield. Suddenly, amongst the stalks, Jonathan saw a figure in black. Swerving to avoid him, the red station wagon he was driving went into the cornfield and overturned.
The next thing Jonathan and Martha knew, they were both upside down in the upturned vehicle. Staring through their window, they saw a darkly-clothed figure walking towards them, bent over at the waist, his head tilted to one side. It looked like he was carrying weapons.
Lionel left Lex to the care of the paramedics. As his helicopter took off he looked down at the cornfield where he'd just been, and noticed that not all of the corn had been flattened. There was a pattern to it, and that pattern formed a giant S symbol. A chill ran down Lionel's spine as he remembered the two words that Lex had kept repeating when he found him:
"Scissor Hands"
"Whoa," said Clark. "You've got to be kidding. You're replacing me with Edward Scissorhands."
"Like I said, it's the only movie I've ever seen. Who would you prefer?"
"Warrior Angel, maybe."
"Excuse me, Clark, but I hardly think you're in the same league.
"But Edwards Scissorhands. It's so unbelievable."
"It's a fable, Clark. You don't have to believe it in your head … just your heart. Now, if you'll allow me to continue…"
The year was 2001, and things had changed. Smallville was now The Crop Circle Capital Of The World, and a young man called Edward Kent prowled the corridors of Smallville High in his long flowing black coat with ridiculously large pockets.
"Hey, Eddie. Trying out for the football team this year?" asked his best friend, also attired from head to toe in black.
"No. My parents told me it was best that I didn't."
"Parents - who needs them? The number of times I've wished mine were dead. Take last night for examp-"
But Edward was no longer listening, for the love of his life, Chloe, was just passing by.
"Hello, Chloe," said Edward.
"Hi, borg and borg queen," she said dismissively, and turned her attention back to the boy she was with, Whitney. He, and the football team, were the only interesting thing in this town. Sure, there were the crop circles, but they'd been going on for a decade and were old news.
"Ignore her, Eddie. She's superficial, just interested in looks. You'll never attract her with your hair."
"But, ..."
"Don't waste your time, loverboy. Anyways, got to get going now, lessons to skip, laws to break, see ya."
"Bye, Lana."
It was later in the day, and Edward Kent stood on a bridge, thinking, in whatever way his mechanical mind thought, about Chloe.
Meanwhile, Lex Luthor was driving along towards that same bridge. He was wearing a black jacket and beneath that was a Warrior Angel T-shirt. As he came towards the bridge, he reached for his designer inhaler. Suddenly, before he knew it, he'd hit something and the car was out of control, heading towards someone clad in black, someone eerily familiar.
In the brain that lay in the head that lay beneath his red shoulder-length hair, repressed memories threatened to bubble to the service. Fortunately, before that could happen, Lex was underwater and unconscious.