Title: Birds song
Author: Amaroqwolf
Synopsis: Some receives a letter…from the past.
Amaroq's Notes: Don't know really, it was just my third attempt at writing in First person. I think I'm better at Third person telling, but maybe not, I don't know for sure. (Shrugs) Hopefully, you all will tell me how I'm doing on this one I'd really like to know, cause this first person writing a venture for me. I'm really nervous about and all. My teacher says I need to write in all the perspectives.
Peace,
Dedications: To my Three B's, To Joey (God rest your soul) To Kate and Rose, and to Collin. And to everyone at PWC will get through this horrible time folks.
Death, a many splendid colored thing. It seems not so very long ago when you spoke my name people would look around and be amazed at how much I had gained. Now I am nothing more then a whisper in the dark. I am nothing to fear, I am a joke. Even to the one who I love and wish to hold in my arms again. She's forgotten me. She doesn't even remember the warmth of my embrace. She's moved on and found someone new. Or maybe she's just being a cold-hearted bitch I don't know for sure. She seems to be so very far away, but I watch her every week as she tries to look so self-assured. But, I know she's scared and frightened. And oh so alone.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be with her forever. To hold her and comfort her when she was afraid. But, that's fallen now, I'm nothing to her now just a name in her mind. Just a passing touch on her lips. Something from her dirty past she wishes to forget. I am never more a memory even. I've been forgotten. There's nothing in this cold shell to hold on to anymore. I go every day, I work everyday, and I loose everyday a piece of my heart being so very far away from her.
I've lost my meaning in life; I've lost all meaning to my existence. I'm nothing but a broken wing on a dying bird. I've lost my mate, my soul, my reason for life and existence. Some times I watch her and see her looking around as if for something that had once been so very close to her, and now is so very far away. I don't know anymore if she would even take me back if I came back.
I am gone to her, lost forever to her in a wave of misery and crime. I've lost my chance to be with her, lost everything I hold dear to me. Just because I wasn't happy with one thing. I've lost her now and I'll never get her back. She's gone now I don't think I can live with out her. She stands strong with out me she doesn't really need me. I wish she did and I watch her hoping she beckons me back to her side where I can beg like a whipped dog at its mistress feet. But, she won't she's too strong now she don't need me now. I'm not worthy of her anymore; I do not even deserve to lick her boots. I've lost all chances now and I'm dying inside because of it. She won't ever hold me close, nor will she ever forgive me for what I've done. Perhaps the words will eventually reach her and she'll know why I did this. Just so I can hear my name upon her lips one last time. To see the tears that fall from her eyes for me. One last time. To wish to hold her as she cries will be my final wish. I am nothing…I am nevermore…I am..gone..
Quoth the Raven…. nevermore.
The two pieces of paper floated down from her shaking hands. She stared in horror at the bright white against the dark carpet under her painted toes. She pushed a strand of her errant black hair out of her eyes and stared again.
"Oh, god." She whispered softly. "What have you done?" She questioned the paper.
She dove across her bed and yanked the phone off the receiver. She dialed as quickly as she could. And listened to the ring of the phone over and over again. "Please pick up." She whispered.
She screamed when her cell phone rang a few inches from her head. She stared at it too scared to pick it up. But, finally she did.
"Hello?" She said shaking in terror as she set the phone in its cradle.
"Miss. Holly?" A male's tenor swept through her body terrifying her even more.
"Yes," She managed to respond.
"I'm sorry to inform you…"
She cut him off. "He's dead isn't he?" She asked. "Raven's dead?"
The man was silent then he cleared his throat. "No, Ma'am, But I am afraid that he's been missing for 6 weeks."
She dropped the phone onto the bed stand and curled up holding her stomach. Oh he was gone all right she had known the minute that letter had appeared in her mail. He was gone…never to return…never to know….that….She looked at her hands holding her stomach. That he wasn't gone.
The end….
A/N: Yeah, my Raven Muse attacked me this morning. So I wrote this, kind of dark with a hopeful note there at the end. (Shrugs) Like the birds song after a storm, hope will survive.