Journal of Minerva McGonagall

Week #1

First of all, let me begin this exercise by stating up front that I do not agree with this entire idea of writing down my thoughts and feelings for anyone to see. It is a breach of privacy and I feel that if I wanted to share my deepest, darkest thoughts with someone it should be on my terms and to the person I choose. However since this is being monitored, I must comply with the wishes of the headmaster and do my part as his deputy. But really, keeping a journal! Whatever happened to the days when emotions and feelings were not worn on one's sleeves? But I digress. I can only hope that this little adventure is worth the effort and it will have the outcome Albus wished for.

Of all the strange and time-consuming ideas Albus Dumbledore has had in the past, this one certainly takes the cake! As if I don't have enough to do before the students arrive, I must now make time to write in this little book. I'm sure he knows by now how extremely upset I am with this entire idea and I do wish he had consulted me before embarking on this endeavor. It would have been nice if his Deputy Headmistress had been informed prior to the meeting. I might not have met it with such opposition had I known in advance. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing I'm not the only one perturbed by having to write my most private thoughts into a book. I'm sure that Severus' entry for this week will read similarly to mine. Now that is a troubling thought!

One good thing about this journal is the hope that Albus will come to realize how many mixed signals he sends to some people, me in particular. We have been friends for decades and yet he still shuts me out sometimes. It's as if he wants to be friends when it is convenient for him and I believe I hurt his feelings at our chess game. He had completely ignored any notions of asking my thoughts on this idea, knowing that I would most likely object. Yet, when I met him for our game, he tried extremely hard to learn my thoughts and feelings on the matter. What difference did it make at that point? He had already consulted your company and arranged the meeting. I have been a little cool in my recent behavior around him and I am positive he has detected my change of moods. I'm sure this will result in a 'discussion' to learn the nature of my displeasure.

Speaking of displeasure, that brings me to the topic of Severus Snape. I might as well inform you, dear journal and anyone else reading it, that as the year progresses you shall probably see more and more of my tirades about our potions master. Each year he grows more determined to make the lives of my Gryffindors utterly miserable. Well, this year I am going to make it my mission to see that they are treated fairly, as are all the houses. It is more important now than ever to project a unified front before the Ministry and the public. Albus has worked too hard and too long to let anything happen to the students!

There are still so many things to do before the students arrive and here I sit, writing in this book wasting my precious time. I need to finalize the class schedules, change all of the passwords for the dormitories, inspect the Gryffindor living quarters, and most importantly, get my own office and lesson plans ready for the upcoming school year. I always look forward to teaching the first years. They are so full of wonder and excitement when I transfigure things right before their eyes. I know that for some of them, the muggle born ones especially, that is the first time they have ever seen something of this nature and I always try to do my best to impress them. If I can catch their attention in the first week, I have found it is so much easier to keep them focused during the difficult lessons.

I do not see how Albus finds the time to take care of his headmaster duties and deal with Fudge on a daily basis. He always seems so carefree and relaxed when I know he has the weight of the wizarding world on his shoulders. I try to be as efficient and helpful as possible but sometimes he holds things back from me so that I will not get bogged down with so many responsibilities. Honestly, I am a very capable witch who can juggle many duties at once and it is high time he learned that. It would be so much easier on both of us!

Now, let's discuss Cornelius Fudge! Honestly, if the man had half a brain that would be more than he possesses at this very moment. And you can tell him I said that, dear journal! He constantly seeks approval from Albus for every minor decision he has to make. It astounds me to think that so many intelligent witches and wizards considered him a suitable Minister of Magic when there we so many more qualified to assume the position. But I am glad that Albus turned down that job. Then again, he'd have to answer fewer owls if he had taken the position and maybe the wizarding world would not be in the state that it is in now.

And that leads us to the risen interest in the dark arts. Or should I say those practicing the dark arts as a form of entertainment? I am still at a loss for words when I think that Albus allowed the use of these magical objects. I would've thought he'd had enough of magical gadgets and gizmos in his office without adding this silly thing. I've never been one to trust something that has a mind of its' own and after that incident Albus had with the rogue remembrall I would think he would have similar feelings. 

I'm not blaming him for what happened to us, by any means. It was a rather interesting situation but it should serve as a warning to us all that these types of things can be very dangerous when tampered with. Maybe if I point that out to him he will reconsider this whole affair. Knowing him, his first journal entry was gushing with how much he loved this idea and briefly touching on his relationship with the staff members. I can only hope that he did not feel the need to discuss our little disagreement and my subsequent coolness towards him as a result but I fear that I am not that fortunate.

I am now concluding my first entry in this journal so that I may actually use my time more productively. I have so many things to do and so little time in which to do them. I shall, reluctantly, write in you again next week. Maybe by then, Albus will have seen the error of his ways and called this little adventure to a halt. One can only hope…