TITLE: The Living Effort

AUTHOR: Tomy

SEASON: 6 SPOILERS: Unnatural Selection, Prometheus, Abyss, Menace, Stargate: The Movie - I think that covers it...

ARCHIVE: If you want it, just let me know where it's going.

E-MAIL: brdfsympatico.ca

Website: http:knightfic.8m.net

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: After the events in Unnatural Selection, Jack wonders what Daniel's reaction to this turn of events might be - only to get his answer.

WARNINGS: pre-slash (slash for anyone who wants to look deep enough to find it ;-))

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG1 and it's characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions and Gekko Productions. They make the big bucks, I get a bit of fun.

NOTES: I was warned about Meridian - many times over, but as bad as it was to watch, watching season six with no Daniel was far worse for me. I found myself wondering what Daniel would have said/thought/done in many of the situations the team found themselves in. This plotbunny bounded into my head directly after seeing P/US and refused to go away. This is my first Stargate fic, and my first slashy fic in many years :) To elfin for introducing me to Stargate SG1 in the first place (then endlessly insisting that Jack and Daniel belong together) and to Asp for putting up with the endless hours of SG1 DVDs.

Then if you're tall, handsome and strong you can wear the uniform and I could play along and so it goes, go round again, but now and then we wonder who the real men are.
Real Men
-Tori Amos

The Living Effort

Jack paced restlessly up and down one of the corridors. Thor would eventually rendezvous with them, but it was still a bit of a hike until they could meet up. Turning another corner in the now too familiar 303, he sighed brusquely. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about the intricacies of what just happened. He willingly double crossed an innocent. Maybe he was giving him too much credit. And when had he stopped thinking of those things as an 'It'!? When had Carter started looking at him like that? As though she no longer respected him - or even liked him for that matter. Just like when he'd shot Reese; when Daniel had called him a 'stupid son of a bitch.' Truthfully, as far as he was concerned, Daniel's assessment wasn't far off the mark. It had been more the look on his face, as the tear tracked unchecked down his face while he sat on the floor over Reese's body. Seeing that look on Daniel's face had wrenched something inside himself - something he had never felt before. If he had known what Daniel's fate was soon to be, would he have searched for a different avenue? It was an unreasonable question to ask himself, Jack knew, but the anguish in Daniel's voice, on his face that day in the Gate room, still continued to haunt his dreams.

"Danny..," Jack hadn't realised he'd spoke aloud until he heard the soft, familiar response from behind.

"I'm here."

Jack's eyes closed, his shoulders sagging as he recognised the voice.

"Despite what you're thinking, you did the right thing."

Jack snorted bitterly, "that sounds mighty strange coming from you, especially considering the last time."

He swore he heard Daniel shrug. "Your arguments to the others were just. I may not have seen it when Reese died, but I've learned to see things on a great many levels since then."

"I would have done anything to save you from that."

"I know."

"I would have done anything to keep you safe."

"I know that too. But I made a conscious decision." Daniel paused frowning, "look at me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"'Cause I don't think I could handle seeing that expression on your face again."

"Umm, didn't I just tell you that you did the right thing?"

"You said something similar after we cleared the base."

Daniel's sigh came from near to his right shoulder. "One of the new abilities I've experienced is being able to go back and reevaluate certain points, events, in my life. That day in the Gate room was one of the first."

"And?"

"I have a great many regrets in my life, and that day is right up there."

Jack pivoted in surprise to face Daniel's image straight on.

"I'm sorry about the things I said to you, how I treated you. To think that was one of our last conversations..."

"You were grieving." Jack stated simply in absolution.

"I was, but that was no reason for hurting my best friend after he saved the world - again."

"If I could have seen another way...." There was definite longing in the older man's voice.

"I know that and despite what you said to me in Ba'al's cell, I know you."

Jack slowly shook his head. "I think you're wrong there."

"Am I? You're not the same man I originally accompanied through the Gate to Abydos."

"That has a lot to do with your influence."

Daniel gave a contemplative half smile, "maybe. Though I think you are much more than you give yourself credit for." Daniel quickly continued before Jack could get a word in edgewise. "You might have had to trick them to accomplish what you did, but they are what they are."

"Replicators."

Daniel nodded slowly. "You have no way of knowing what might have happened if he'd come with you."

"Like, if he has programmed instincts."

"Yes, for example, and we'd be right back where we started from..., or worse."

Jack still couldn't shake the guilt, the accusation he heard in Carter's voice.

"You didn't kill them, Jack. Tell me, if it hadn't been for the events surrounding Reese, would you be giving this a second thought?"

Jack ran a hand through his hair as he considered the question. "I honestly don't know."

"Of all the ways you've helped the galaxies..."

"The Asgard thought of this one."

"You could have said 'no'."

"You keepin' tabs on me?"

Daniel's eyes softened, "I'm rarely far away."

"Guardian Angel?" Jack suddenly felt a need to break the spell surrounding them.

Daniel's brow furrowed, his eyes darting off to the side. "In a way, I guess."

Jack couldn't help smiling, knowing he could still ruffle Daniel's feathers with such ease. "You think we could have an argument - just for old times sake?"

The confusion quickly left the blue eyes, replaced by affectionate amusement. "You must miss me."

"More than you know." The truth of that admission colouring every aspect of his actions.

Concentrating, Daniel slowly reached out, crossing the small distance between them before laying a gentle hand against Jack's cheek.

Jack's breath caught at the surprising warmth, strength and softness in the unexpected touch.

"I'm learning," was the intimate explanation.

fin April 30, 2004